Online Dating, Yay or Nay
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Personally, I have to say Yay only because I met my husband thru an online dating site.. We have been together over 10 years and Married for 9 this June.0
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So I recently received some very sound advice from a friend of mine. They suggested that I should start looking at dating NOW during this process that way I can weed out the ones who like me for me and not for my being skinny when I reach my goal.
there are so many things wrong with this that I don't even know where to start. :noway:
as far as the online dating . . . I've never done it . . . intentionally. I met my boyfriend here. We have common interests and similar personalities. Neither of us was looking to meet someone. That's usually the best approach IMO.
Love this girl!...and no, I'm not her boyfriend, though I live about ten miles from him. Two more absolutely incredible people you'll not likely find.
To the OP...when it comes to online dating...here are my ONLY real experiences...over the last two years.
First girl, lived 158 miles from my front door. I spent three months driving there and back at minimum one, but usually two or more times a week. Then I found out she was a prostitute.
Second girl, almost a year later. Literally perfect for three weeks. I guess the moon phase changed or something though, because then she went psycho bipolar (still doesn't seem to have recovered from that), dumped me, slept with some guy two days later, and spent the next three months trying to get me back (including the month she was dating him).
Third girl, we met...seemed incredibly sweet, went over to her house to watch movies, went home. Nothing else happened. A couple days later I was attacked via myspace message by her ex GIRLFRIEND who'd found out about me by hacking her email...for 'f*cking the love of her life'. Apparently, the girl was a lesbian who'd invited me over specifically for sex (that didn't work out so well)...just so she could be absolutely sure whether she was gay or not.
Other than that, I've been literally pretty much ignored. I got messages once in awhile...usually from women I had no real attraction to (and before you call me shallow, there's a HOST of reasons for no attraction...appearance is just one of them). On occasion I got a message from a girl I WOULD be attracted to, but she invariably ended up a flake (as in...I'm not even sure why she was on the site...no interest in meeting, no interest in really talking...uhh...why the eff did you send the initial message?!). The messages I've sent out, were almost universally deleted without being read. I've never learned why. I'm not boring, I'm pretty good at holding a conversation as a matter of fact. I don't think I'm ugly...though only Jac might call me pretty. I never have figured it out. Now understand...I doubt there's anyone on this message board (except a young lady named Shiboshi), who would accuse me of having a negative, or poor attitude...so that's certainly not going to be it. In the end I've started to feel that it absolutely does comes down to attraction as well, but not just based on looks. Most (sane) women just don't seem to be interested in what I'm wanting to give.
Such is life.
But don't let my experiences dissuade you. Eventually I'll find the right kind of psycho (that seems to be all my pond is stocked with...you make do with what you're given lol) for me, I'm sure of it...and I'm sure you will too
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Dude...i'd totally date you....for realz....there's just the really really itchy issue of distance.....so I shelved that thought....
but I thought it....do I get points?0 -
Dude...i'd totally date you....for realz....there's just the really really itchy issue of distance.....so I shelved that thought....
but I thought it....do I get points?
Aww...thanks Lauren.
I guess I do have to say that's an optional prerequisite to wanting to date me. You have to be insane, or there has to be 1500 linear miles or more of distance, give or take.0 -
Online dating for men: Send out 10,000 letters. Get one response.
Online dating for women: Receive 10,000 letters. Respond to only hottest guys.
There's definitely a huge exaggeration here, but I can sense where you are going with this. There's some truth here, but you should learn from it and not complain about it.
Any halfway decent looking female is going to get inundated with tons of emails, that's a fact. Knowing this, why even play the game? Focus on meeting women where the odds are in your favor, this can mean the dog park, grocery store, upscale bar, etc. Go to a dog park, introduce yourself, and talk about your dogs. It takes some balls, but your odds are MUCH better than online dating.
I'm not going to "poo poo" online dating because I've met some pretty awesome people (some even turned out to be good friends) off of there. But, online dating is like going to a sports bar. There's a ton of males all competing for a few decent looking women who happen to be at the bar that night.
Get offline and get a dog.0 -
What about a cat park? Do you know where a cat park is? What if my cat doesn't play well with other cats?0
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just discovered this gem online
Title: How To Win at Online Dating
In the spirit of these blogs, I present to you a .Gif post of my successful, patent pending approach to dating.
First, sign up for an online dating site because you have trouble meeting people sober and you LOVE the internet.
Mostly because your social graces aren’t exactly polished
So you try to write yourself a profile that highlights how awesome you are
Then you show it to your friends for a second opinion (or, let’s be honest, to tell you how great your profile is, you witty genius you)
Start looking up matches, overwhelmed by cute guys
Find one that’s really cute
Send him a ‘Flirt’ and feel really awesome about how confident you are making the first move
Wait for his message
Fight the desire to e-stalk him based on his profile info
Finally get a message back
It’s one sentence and he misspells 50% of the words in it
Decide you’re too cool for him anyway
Keep’ looking till you find someone better. Someone like
the end
CLASSIC ... LOL0 -
[/quote]
I'd say the general problem is women set an unreasonable level of attractiveness that is required. If you're over a certain weight you're done with most women. Period. Not cool. My attitudes are formed based off how I've been treated. If women dated a wider variety of guys I'd have no issue with them.
[/quote]
Are you kidding me? I'm sorry, but in my experience men are WAY more looks oriented than women. I've dated guys considered much less attractive than me and so have many of my female friends. My overweight and socially awkward brother on the other hand is only attracted to thin young girls and as a result has never had a girlfriend and is 35.
I agree with the poster that said it's your attitude putting women off.0 -
I was born with Spina Bifida. The way I was raised I was not consciously aware of being handicapped because I was not treated in such a way, or told I couldn't do something because of it - to this day I rarely, if ever, think about it and just roll (no pun intended) with it.No luck with online dating yet... most people vanish when they find out I'm in a wheelchair. As in, conversation is going well, everything seems cool, then I casually mention this, and... no more responses. Yikes. And those who aren't scared by it don't end up being a match in the long term.
Still waiting for the one...
Ouch, yep that's a fail when people drop off the face of the earth because of the minor details. I've met so many folks from all sorts of backgrounds, personal issues, health and physical disabilities, but that should never make them that less of an attraction or less of a person to know, converse with, etc.
BTW, what's caused you to be in a wheelchair if you don't mind me asking. I hope you have a great bunch of love ones and unconditional support.
So when I'm writing these online dating profiles, since my handicap doesn't define me, and doesn't effect my life in any major way, I don't really feel it's necessary to delve so deep into it, thinking that people would not be so weird about it, since I myself don't make it a big deal. I don't view my wheelchair as a tool - to me it is a physical part of me, so I don't think about it much.0 -
yes. okcupid is good from my experience, don't know about the others0
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I'm fat.
All the ladies on my friends list want me...it's ridic how much I have to fend them off...
But, my attitude for the most part is awesome...
it's the truth....
we FALL over ourselves to get to Tyler.....(sorry Dani...just.....sorry...)
Back the FCK up bishes!!!!
MINE.0 -
I'm fat.
All the ladies on my friends list want me...it's ridic how much I have to fend them off...
But, my attitude for the most part is awesome...
it's the truth....
we FALL over ourselves to get to Tyler.....(sorry Dani...just.....sorry...)
Back the FCK up bishes!!!!
MINE.
Well now... This should be interesting... *grabs popcorn*0 -
Women value a fat wallet more so than appearance.0
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wait, you mean MFP isn't a dating site and I've been doing it wrong this whole time? damn....0
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I think the question to ask yourself is the following.....How is it any different than meeting someone at the bar and dating them? At least if you meet someone online you can weed out the ones that you just don't have good conversation with without wasting much time. I met my fiance online and we have been together going on three years, scheduled to get married in June. His brother is engaged to a girl he met online as well at the same time. If you play it safe and check out the facts before you meet then it can be wonderful. Good luck to you 0
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I was born with Spina Bifida. The way I was raised I was not consciously aware of being handicapped because I was not treated in such a way, or told I couldn't do something because of it - to this day I rarely, if ever, think about it and just roll (no pun intended) with it.No luck with online dating yet... most people vanish when they find out I'm in a wheelchair. As in, conversation is going well, everything seems cool, then I casually mention this, and... no more responses. Yikes. And those who aren't scared by it don't end up being a match in the long term.
Still waiting for the one...
Ouch, yep that's a fail when people drop off the face of the earth because of the minor details. I've met so many folks from all sorts of backgrounds, personal issues, health and physical disabilities, but that should never make them that less of an attraction or less of a person to know, converse with, etc.
BTW, what's caused you to be in a wheelchair if you don't mind me asking. I hope you have a great bunch of love ones and unconditional support.
So when I'm writing these online dating profiles, since my handicap doesn't define me, and doesn't effect my life in any major way, I don't really feel it's necessary to delve so deep into it, thinking that people would not be so weird about it, since I myself don't make it a big deal. I don't view my wheelchair as a tool - to me it is a physical part of me, so I don't think about it much.
I'm married but I can give you my point of view if i was single and met a date-worthy guy in a wheelchair. This is coming from someone who doesn't know any men in wheelchairs and who would be totally neurotic about offending. Stream of consciousness would go something like this: OMG he's cute. I wonder why he's in there. I like to dance. Does he like to dance. How does that work. How does he slow dance. I wonder if IT works. My house has steps. My house has multi levels. My bed is really high. What if i went to kiss him and he wasn't interested.
And then I would go on and on with my internal conversation until i talked myself out of meeting you because I lacked the confidence to venture into unknown territory. So you wouldn't think about it but SHE might because there are already a ton of dating unknowns and that adds to it. I hope I didnt butcher that thought too badly and you understand what I mean.0 -
Tried it, it wasn't for me.0
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Soooooooooooo I took advice and made an account on POF.... Yeah... This whole online dating this is fricking overwhelming. It's been like.... 10 minutes and I have 10 messages!!! Ahhh!!!! Stressing me out man!!!0
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Soooooooooooo I took advice and made an account on POF.... Yeah... This whole online dating this is fricking overwhelming. It's been like.... 10 minutes and I have 10 messages!!! Ahhh!!!! Stressing me out man!!!
Sadly most are crazy and they think that since they dont see you in person it's ok to be even crazier. Just ignore the weirdos. Have fun!0 -
Soooooooooooo I took advice and made an account on POF.... Yeah... This whole online dating this is fricking overwhelming. It's been like.... 10 minutes and I have 10 messages!!! Ahhh!!!! Stressing me out man!!!
You're fresh meat lol. You will get a TON of messages initially, it will taper off. Don't respond to everyone!0 -
Why not give it a shot? You've got nothing to lose by trying it but you may miss out on someone great if you don't.0
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The benefit of online dating dear is that you didn't bang on the 1st date..
You didn't meet at a bar..
Its not creepy to send racey pics cuz if they don't like them you wont be emberrased
If you want to disappear off the face of the planet, its way easier online than in person
They wont kno where you live, so they cant stalk you
You can always refer to 1&2 if you ever have any doubts.0 -
Soooooooooooo I took advice and made an account on POF.... Yeah... This whole online dating this is fricking overwhelming. It's been like.... 10 minutes and I have 10 messages!!! Ahhh!!!! Stressing me out man!!!
You're fresh meat lol. You will get a TON of messages initially, it will taper off. Don't respond to everyone!
Why not? Is this some sort of girl code? Is there a criteria you use of who is worthy to ignore and who isn't lol?
Just curious. In my profile, I had put specifically some disqualifiers...things that would make us 'not fit'. There wasn't many by the way...only two, but if they ignored them and messaged me anyhow (other than polite conversation, which I always reply to)...that is the only reason I didn't reply.
Other than that...yes, I responded to everyone...even those I wasn't interested in. Common courtesy and all.0 -
Is there some sort of etiquette for online dating site usernames? Things I should avoid?
This thread got me interested in trying one of those sites for the first time, but I'm pretty sure DOOMTOWNE isn't appropriate.
Also, SNESLover69 is taken, suggestions please.0 -
My boyfriend, whom I met online about 2 years ago is getting ready to move here soon. I didn't meet him on a dating site though, we met in an online game (yep, I'm a total geek). It was really long distance. He lives in the UK. I've been over there once with plane tickets already bought to go again this summer. He's been here twice, he stayed about a month each time. I have a friend who met her husband on a dating site and both my parents remarried someone they met online. I think it's just the new way to meet people.0
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Online dating for men: Send out 10,000 letters. Get one response.
Online dating for women: Receive 10,000 letters. Respond to only hottest guys.
I have this happen to me. I was on both OKC and POF for about four months. I sent out tons of messages (and no, not just to the "hottest" guys) and only three... THREE guys in total responded to me. Went on a date with each of them, and they all wound up being really weird and I felt uncomfortable the whole time. Every single message I sent out was well thought out, talking about something interesting that I saw in their profiles.
I get that my experience is unusual, but it really turned me off to dating sites. I've had better luck with online gaming, haha.0 -
I met my husband this way. We didn't have an "online relationship" because we met after talking for just a week or so through emails and then some phone calls. I say yay, but be safe about it! I did some things as a teenager that make me shudder to think the danger I put myself in...0
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Rekindled so many friendships with Facebook... we flirt hard. We hang out in person though on the regular so... I'd say preferably not online dating.
I would say online dating is for flings and activity buddies.0 -
Yay cause it allowed me to date men in different countries but nay cause I don't like long distance ish..0
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Soooooooooooo I took advice and made an account on POF.... Yeah... This whole online dating this is fricking overwhelming. It's been like.... 10 minutes and I have 10 messages!!! Ahhh!!!! Stressing me out man!!!
You're fresh meat lol. You will get a TON of messages initially, it will taper off. Don't respond to everyone!
Why not? Is this some sort of girl code? Is there a criteria you use of who is worthy to ignore and who isn't lol?
Just curious. In my profile, I had put specifically some disqualifiers...things that would make us 'not fit'. There wasn't many by the way...only two, but if they ignored them and messaged me anyhow (other than polite conversation, which I always reply to)...that is the only reason I didn't reply.
Other than that...yes, I responded to everyone...even those I wasn't interested in. Common courtesy and all.
when I was on the dating website, I did respond to every message. So I can't say why you shouldn't, but I do know that because I did respond, my profile was updated to "responds frequently" so I started getting more and more of the crazies coming out and feeling brave.
Maybe that's why?
I still responded though. The polite in me just can't not.0
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