The Side of Weight Loss No One Talks About
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The mental part of losing weight has been the most challenging for me. It's all about wrapping your head around your new image and trying to fight the body dysmorphia.
You look fantastic! Wow!! I agree with you, I think it will always be a challenge for me to not think of myself as the fat girl in the group. I would love to wear skinny clothes and not see the loose skin and sagging areas of my body that stay how they are no matter the exercises I do. But, if this is the results of feeling better, moving easily, no longer breathing heavy after short distances. I'll take it!0 -
I do this! Got some chinos just the other day. Only $4.29. It's a heck of a lot cheaper than buying new clothes that you'll only wear for a few months anyway. Then when you need the next size down, you can donate back the ones you just had, and get some more.I was thinking of raiding goodwill for inbeweeny stuff, because I dont plan on being at any size for long/
I do this, too. I have not changed too much size wise yet, even though I have lost quite a lot, but I have bought some smaller things at Goodwill, and a few on sale at other places, so that I have something to work towards. Today I tried on some jeans that I couldn't pull up when I bought them about a month ago, and I was able to get them buttoned. They didn't look good, but at least getting in to them is a start. Goodwill and consignment shops are going to be my best friend for the next year or so, I think!
For me, the part I dread most about losing weight is people noticing my body and commenting on it. A lot of the reason I gained as much as I did was --- ironically --- that I didn't want to be noticed or have people make comments. I haven't had many yet, but am bracing myself because it is becoming more noticeable.0 -
No matter how straightforward you are about your goals, e.g., not overweight, trying to lose a few vanity pounds, no matter how uncompetitive you attempt to be, some people are not going to be happy if you achieve your goals. If you appear to be struggling, they'll be happy to load on irrelevant advice (that also hasn't worked for them). If you actually succeed without a surfeit of drama, forget it.
Needless to say, the satisfaction of being able to exert control over your life more than makes up for it. You may be the only witness to your own little victory dance.0 -
For me, its the attitude I have about the way I think other people see me. I'm a much more forthcoming and bubbly person now that I am not hiding behind my weight. I have a long way to go, but I know I can make it to my goal. Also, some days when my goal seems an eternity away, its the little things that can pull me back on track - like looking at my hands and seeing my wrist bones or the way a piece of clothing fits. One downside during the winter has been being cold pretty much all the time. But I can always bundle up in a smaller size jacket!0
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That you will fight with yourself constantly and it takes a LOT to be able to forgive yourself for some things.0
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I hate that my boobs are nearly back to my pre-weight gain size but my but still has 40 lbs, that's just not fair. My husband jokinly says my theme song if Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls". (We joke all the time about our weights so it wasn't negative at all)0
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[/quote] This, but i buy the new clothes anyway because i like to shop
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I don't like to shop,\ but I do like stuff that fits correctly and nicely. I'd rather spend the money than settle on something that looks just ok on me, because to wear something nice gives me that boost because I know I've worked hard to get there0 -
I have a few.
COLD all the time. As I type my fingers are pale from being cold. I sleep with 3x as many blankets and still don't feel warm. I exercise to warm up. I wonder if I will stop feeling the cold so much at some point.
Unwanted attention, both from casual acquaintances and family/friends.
Losing friends over weight loss/lifestyle changes.
Weight redistribution is a thing.
That the more I exercise, the more I want to exercise.
Clothes rarely fit properly. Goodwill stores are becoming popular shopping locations. I'm still not a fan of shopping.0 -
Lack of support and those who try to sabotage your goals - IT happens.0
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All the things that other people mention but also that I love being able to cross my legs at the knees elegantly now. I hadn't been able to do this for ages. I also love standing up out of a chair and rising in one supple light easy movement. And I love being able to walk like a woman moving my hips instead of waddling like a duck because my thighs used to be too fat.0
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the fear of getting pregnant again! I lost almy weight in 2010\, then got prengnt in march 2011!!lol don't get me wrong I love love love my son, but I hate hate hate what happened to my body !!I never was a size 2, but, I did go from 181lbs to 257 !! I don't want that again!
And the flabby skin!! im scaredi wont be able to tone my stomache all the way to were it looks ..... descent,,,0 -
Someone I work with apologises to me everytime she talks about food! We went out for lunch today, and when someone suggested cakes she just looked at me and said "sorry". Why?? I went and looked at the cakes, but there was nothing that I wanted more than the glass of wine I am about to have now! She then also moaned about gaining weight (after cheese on toast with bacon, large piece of choc fudge cake and cappacino) and not understanding why - go figure!0
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Farting. Seriously. Eat all those healthy veggies, fruits, protiens and you are a ticking time bomb. Not to mention having to do squats and lungs doesn't help.
Don't even get me started on IBS!0 -
the "head case" feelings of looking in the mirror after trying on clothes and not liking the reflection - 14 pounds into my journey. One needs to be very careful not to slip back in to those old thoughts.0
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Also, having yo-yoed in the past, I'm f'king pissed that I didn't see myself as thin when I actually was.
There are no words for how I feel about this. The best way for me to accurately describe how much I agree would be to bash my head on my keyboard and then hit reply.0 -
Someone I work with apologises to me everytime she talks about food! We went out for lunch today, and when someone suggested cakes she just looked at me and said "sorry". Why?? I went and looked at the cakes, but there was nothing that I wanted more than the glass of wine I am about to have now! She then also moaned about gaining weight (after cheese on toast with bacon, large piece of choc fudge cake and cappacino) and not understanding why - go figure!
Seriously! Everywhere I go, no matter who I'm with, everytime they have something that they think I can't have, they apologize! SO tired of it. Or tired of hearing "I don't want to eat in front of you". It's something I've obviously got to get used to. I mean don't get me wrong, its awesome when friends are having get togethers and want to make it "friendly" for me by not providing a bunch of crap I can't have, but seriously people..... I have some willpower, just because it's there doesn't mean I'm going to eat it or cry about not being able to eat it!0 -
Well here's something no one likes to talk about... I lost 80 pounds. Yes, 80. In 2006, I weighed 80 pounds less than I do now. I worked hard, found what worked for me, stuck with it, took care of myself, (took a lot of time to think of every morsel I put in mouth and to remember to eat eat and eat some more (of the good for you stuff). I ate all the time...almost every two hours, but in moderation and only good stuff. Now here is the part that no one likes to talk about... I looked great. I felt great. I bought clothes in sizes that I hadn't seen since high school. So what happened? Well, I relaxed. At first it was fine. 2008 came and went and I still maintained my eating and exercising habits and new lifestyle and I maintained my weight loss. And then... my life became stressed. I went back to work, I lost a marriage, life as I knew it crumbled and suddenly so did my caring for myself. I gained all the weight back. That's the part that no one likes to talk about. In fact, I found it much harder to KEEP it off then it had been to lose it in the first place. So yeah, that's a bummer. But here I am, seven years later ...trying again.0
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It makes me sad to think that no matter how much I lose or tone that the scars of being overweight (and having children) will always be there. I know that I will never completely attractive to my husband.0
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How differently I would be treated.I kind of resent it sometimes.
I'm the same person with the same personality and the same brain.
Yet I was with the same company for 14 years and didn't get any of the promotions I put in for until I lost weight.
P.S no longer with that company and have a much better job!
I can't believe how much better I am treated when I weigh less, it's sickening to think about how judgmental everyone is.
I totally hear you on the "I'm the same person with the same personality and the same brain" it seems like just losing some weight makes you somehow 10,000 x more interesting and awesome even though you've really just always been like that. One time I came back to an activity after a summer away and this guy who had stopped being friends with me because I wasn't "good looking" enough came up and started being really friendly... and we hung out and he still had NO IDEA it was me! The same personality but with clothes a few sizes smaller and somehow I became a better person? Ridiculous. 0 -
I'm going to add something positive to this incredibly depressing thread.
Cool thing about weight loss for me that no one ever talked about was how incredibly empowering it is. I feel like going through this craziness of losing weight makes me feel like I can pretty much accomplish anything now. Cheesy, but good stuff.
Awesome! And so true
VERY EMPOWERING!! and who knew that exercise was such a stress reliever!!!
Ok, yes, seriously, this is by far the biggest takeaway from the whole thing for me. Never in my life had I approached a goal in such a methodical way, or, not without being derailed by some thing or other. I've learned psychological habits that are key to living constructively. More than the weight loss itself, that's what I wish I were able to understand earlier.
Mind you, not everything's as controllable or contained as food intake and exercise (and even there, there are unexpected hiccups, like injuries). But at least some of the important mental habits can transfer to other areas of life.
Also big yes to stress relief and mood management.
This is good to hear. I believe that weight loss done in the proper way will help develop a healthy livestyle. It is possible to be slim and unhealthy. And it is nice to hear that exercise (part of the weight loss journey) will help with stress relief and mood management. I have always used music.0 -
The mental part of losing weight has been the most challenging for me. It's all about wrapping your head around your new image and trying to fight the body dysmorphia.
I'm not even at my UGW, and I'm already dealing with this. I still feel like I should be shopping in the plus size section.
Also, always so cold! Thank God it's getting warmer now.0 -
I have gone throught that too! The attention from the same males I've been friends with or worked with for years is completely different now that I've lost weight. I love them but resent them at the same time! Ugh!0
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How differently I would be treated.I kind of resent it sometimes.
I'm the same person with the same personality and the same brain.
Yet I was with the same company for 14 years and didn't get any of the promotions I put in for until I lost weight.
P.S no longer with that company and have a much better job!
Have had this happen as well. Makes me angry that other people don't see me or aren't even nice when I' m heavier, but that changes when I am thinner. I still deserve respect no matter what size I am because, like you said, I am still the same person, with the same brains and the same personality.0 -
You bet your sweet *kitten* if and when i lose the weight i wanna lose.. that I will be getting a tummy tuck and it will all be for vanity! Lets be real ya'll.. yes we all want to get healthy and that is a big motivation but we all want to look good too! So saying you don't want to get a tummy tuck for vanity's sake... yet you lost 100 lbs b/c you were sick of being fat, sick of looking a certain way.. is the same thing. We are all guilty of being vain at times
My biggest hurtle is fear.... fear of actually being skinny.0 -
Also, having yo-yoed in the past, I'm f'king pissed that I didn't see myself as thin when I actually was.
There are no words for how I feel about this. The best way for me to accurately describe how much I agree would be to bash my head on my keyboard and then hit reply.
Yep. This. All the way.0 -
I lost weight off my feet.
All my shoes are a size 6 - I am now a small size 5. I have to buy all brand new shoes
Also - not being sure whether you've lost inches or if you're a size smaller because the store is using vanity sizing...0 -
I expected my clothes to shrink but nobody told me my feet were going to shrink! I went from a 9.5 to an 8.5, maaaybe 9. Not a huge difference and I can get away with wearing my old sneakers and flats, but heals had to be replaced because I stepped out of them when walking.
Another experience I had – and this could just be my experience and not happen to everyone – was that, while nobody talked about my weight when I was at my heaviest, once I started losing the flood gates opened and nearly everyone suddenly thought it was ok to comment on my weight. I didn't really mind, none of it was negative and I have always been happy to share my experiences and encourage others to do what makes them happy, but it did sort of become the only thing people would talk about and there is more to me.
Yup, all of this happened/is happening to me now. All my size 9.5 and 10 shoes flop off my feet, I'm an 8 or 8.5 now. And the comments from people - ugh. You wouldn't believe what some of them say. I'm the talk of the office now. Most of what people say to me is positive, but some of it just plain sucks - like "You're getting too skinny and I'm worried about you." Really? Most of these people barely even frikken know me. I'm sure they are NOT worried about me, just being nosey. "Someone mentioned in a meeting that you had lost alot of weight..." OH so y'all are talking about me behind my back, in meetings where you're supposed to be working, no less? NICE! :ohwell: I wasn't prepared for some of the comments, but I've been managing them pretty well I guess. I'm trying to take the positive and leave the negative, but I do still get pissed off at what people say sometimes. No matter what they say, I am happy where I'm at now and I feel better than I have in years!!! They can't take that away from me. :happy:0 -
People telling you how to eat. Not even just hearing "you need to eat more" from mom, or all the concerned looks when I eat a normal portion of food instead of getting massive portions, but my biology major friends telling me what to eat or what they think is good or bad for me. I've done my research, everyone, I promise :grumble:0
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Being afraid to buy new clothes that fit because in a few months they won't fit so nicely. I hate to waste money, but I also hate looking homeless when I wear my worn out, three-sizes-too-big clothes.
Too true. Got my jeans belted in but the bottom is baggy! But NOT buying any new ones until I drop a bit more weight
I buy all my clothes at thrift shops till I reach my goal.0 -
The glazed look in people's eyes when you start explaining how you've lost weight (sensibly, slowly and with no magic pill or stupid restrictions), after they've raved about how good you look.
Without fail they'll tell me about how their best friend lost huge amounts of weight using the latest fad diet. Like, WTF am I supposed to say to that?0
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