Your most humiliating "fat" experience.
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I apologize but I must comment on that remark from your husband. My husband and I are both heavy. We have been married for 30 years. I was not always heavy nor was he. Never in all those years has my husband said anything like that or I to him. He has told me things maybe do not look the best, or other things like that and I to him. I would not want to hurt his feelings or he mine. We try to treat each other with respect and courtesy and always be kind to one another. You need someone like that.0
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All I can think is, you married this man why?
I often ask myself the same question. Too often in fact.
First of all...I may be young, but the one thing I was taught about the opposite sex is if you really have to ask yourself that question..it truly wasn't meant to be. I feel as though you posted this topic and this story to get opinions on this reaction from your boyfriend (now husband). girl, I'm sorry but that is down right rude of him...and that for me would have been grounds for a breakup on the spot. He should love you no matter what.
As for an embarrassing story...I was shopping for clothes one day (this was before I even had my daughter and mind you I was PMS'ing at the time..sooo I was bloated) and the girl at the counter asked me if I was having a boy or a girl...my blood was boiling as I left the store and I could barely sign the receipt without my hand shaking uncontrollably.
I hope you are on this weight loss journey for YOU not your husband hun....good luck to you :flowerforyou:
I honestly did not post for opinion/reactions about my husband. That is just the most humiliating memory I have. It is one that sometimes makes me feel like I will never get to where I want to. But I will say, the people closest to us are important whether they realize it or not. If the ones you interact with most, or the ones who you love dearly, and want to have mutual support and consideration with, step all over you when you need them to help you rise above your own insecurities that can be very deflating. We should all make an effort to be supportive of the people in our lives.
Reading through others who posted on this thread, it really makes me think about everyday life. I think it is a good reminder that we don't always know someones story, what pain lies beneath, what struggles someone is facing. You never know what you will find if you could only peel back the lid off of a persons heart and soul.0 -
As a guy you don't hear it nearly as much, but this to me is the worst of all. "I've gotten the run faster fat *kitten*!" before, and that one to me just sucks. You are working to make yourself better and people are going to attack you? That's just sick. I don't care how morbidly obese the person is, if they are at the gym, they should be applauded.
You're kicking *kitten*, and you can only make yourself better than you were the day before, there is nothing we can do about the ice cream we ate 10 years ago!0 -
All I can think is, you married this man why?
I often ask myself the same question. Too often in fact.
First of all...I may be young, but the one thing I was taught about the opposite sex is if you really have to ask yourself that question..it truly wasn't meant to be. I feel as though you posted this topic and this story to get opinions on this reaction from your boyfriend (now husband). girl, I'm sorry but that is down right rude of him...and that for me would have been grounds for a breakup on the spot. He should love you no matter what.
As for an embarrassing story...I was shopping for clothes one day (this was before I even had my daughter and mind you I was PMS'ing at the time..sooo I was bloated) and the girl at the counter asked me if I was having a boy or a girl...my blood was boiling as I left the store and I could barely sign the receipt without my hand shaking uncontrollably.
I hope you are on this weight loss journey for YOU not your husband hun....good luck to you :flowerforyou:
I honestly did not post for opinion/reactions about my husband. That is just the most humiliating memory I have. It is one that sometimes makes me feel like I will never get to where I want to. But I will say, the people closest to us are important whether they realize it or not. If the ones you interact with most, or the ones who you love dearly, and want to have mutual support and consideration with, step all over you when you need them to help you rise above your own insecurities that can be very deflating. We should all make an effort to be supportive of the people in our lives.
Reading through others who posted on this thread, it really makes me think about everyday life. I think it is a good reminder that we don't always know someones story, what pain lies beneath, what struggles someone is facing. You never know what you will find if you could only peel back the lid off of a persons heart and soul.
Yes exactly, that's why you shouldn't surround yourself with people who don't appreciate you.
I've had my share of comments from my dad. But it's not like it was really up to me to have him in my life or not... he was my dad. Your spouse is supposed to support you, for better or worse... when it doesn't happen, you're better off alone (yes, easier said than done, but I had a divorce so I've been there).
Just IMO. Being fat sucks. We need support. I can understand when someone is worried for your healthy and comments about that... it's not always fun but I get it. But saying you're ugly or fat or disgusting is just mean and you don't need that kind of attitude in your life.0 -
As a guy you don't hear it nearly as much, but this to me is the worst of all. "I've gotten the run faster fat *kitten*!" before, and that one to me just sucks. You are working to make yourself better and people are going to attack you? That's just sick. I don't care how morbidly obese the person is, if they are at the gym, they should be applauded.
You're kicking *kitten*, and you can only make yourself better than you were the day before, there is nothing we can do about the ice cream we ate 10 years ago!
Exactly! There is nothing worse than skewering people at the gym! I wonder if some of these nasty people think there is some magic wand a person can wave to make the weight just fall off. I worked in a gym for a while, and I was amazed at the people who would make those comments about others. An obese or overweight person at the gym should never be criticized for being there.0 -
Your husband sounds like a real asshat.0
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When I first started to get pudgy and get some *ahem* moobs, I asked a girl out while we were all at the beach. She told me "No, your boobs are bigger than mine. You probably shouldn't cross your arms without a shirt on"0
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I was around 290 pounds and was in Home Depot looking at some plumbing supplies. I took a step back and brushed against an elderly gentleman who had apparently been standing behind me.
I apologized and he looked at me and said with disgust in his voice, "YOU'RE HUGE!!!!!!!"
My ex husband did not defend me.0 -
last year I was dieting/exercising etc. and I met my husbands aunt and uncle for the first time and she asked me when I was due :noway: I laughed it off but really if you don't know then don't ask0
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I always try to find ways to help this man understand. He is like talking to a wall. He seems like an emotionless hole sometimes. Of course he wasn't always like that. He said that in the beginning when a guy wants sex, he will do anything he needs to do to get it on a regular basis. What?! I figured as much. In hind sight I wonder why I was ever so blind. But it is what it is now.
Thank you for this little follow up. I was initially tempted to "defend" your husband as he "finally" had to say something which I had interpreted as you hounded it out of him. But no more.
Gosh, I am sorry you don't get that unconditional love we so desire from our chosen mate. Makes me feel thankful yet again for the wonderful woman I have in my life. That he has to disrespect you is more a reflection of his own insecurities which are not so attractive. Your kind heart shows through your layer of insulation. I firmly believe my extra "insulation" is used to protect me from the cold and the cold shoulder. We certainly don't need any more humiliation.
Back to the topic at hand however, my experience was having one of my young nephews ask 'Why do you sweat so much?" EEwwww I felt like a sweaty, fat pig and just wanted to crawl away and hate on myself. ick.0 -
Your husband sounds like a real asshat.
^^this
Boarded a plane and was greeting by an attendant who raised her voice and said, "Welcome aboard. Let me get you a seat belt extender."
Instead of the throatpunch she so richly deserved, I asked her if she cut her hair like that on purpose.
That was the longest two-hour flight in history.0 -
I don't know if mine was humilitating but it was pretty embarrassing. I was at Wal Mart getting dog food when my shorts split AALLLLLL the way up the seam. I mean they could hear that rip 2 aisles away!!!! lol.............0
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1. Drunk homeless guy laughing yelling "Fat guy getting out of little car" as I got out of my s2000 at the gas station.
2. Stripping naked at boot camp to weigh in and see if I was part of the fat recruit club. They spray red stripes on the fat recruits sweat suits. luckily I was athletic enough that for some reason they decided I did not need the paint but I was informed I would be watched. Even though I was heavy I was still fast and strong so I never got the paint.0 -
A few months back i was making progress with weight loss but struggling with running and someone shouted at me from their car. I'm glad I couldn't hear exactly what they said bit i know it was mean.
i quit running at that time. Took it up again a few months later and just completed a 9 k run today. I've learnt not to care, I'd have never accomplished anything if i continued letting it get to me.0 -
There were 2
1. nice looking gentleman said one hot summer day "i hope it's a girl", i said it was boy 7years ago.
2. i felt fabulous on my birthday and had my daughter take a picture. i sure did look pregnant and had her retake it from the chest up. i humiliated myself.
you may find some of the weight you're looking to lose may be the husband. his words (and the delivery) were hurtful and that's not our partner's job (or ours in return). you can't change people, only you (as evidenced by this journey we're all on), you can only decide if they're worth your valuable, precious time, space and energy.
last year for the first time in my life, i wore a 2 piece bathing suit. i realized it had nothing to do what others thought of me. i saw others that didn't have the "model" body wearing theirs with no problem and figured I had the problem worrying about others seeing me "less than model". bump that, i wore that sucker with pride, felt good in my head and at the end of the day, my mental space is the once that counts the most. so this year, i urge you, if you like the bathing suit, feel good in it, who effing cares what your husband, the beach or anyone else thinks. wear it and work it! good luck.0 -
I think the worst was years ago when I was a junior in high school. I was prom dress shopping at a store called, 'Cache' , and the saleswoman basically asked me to leave the store because they didn't make dresses for people my size (I was an 18 then, and probably a 20-something dress size). She wouldn't even let me touch the gowns. I felt so low.
:flowerforyou: Hoo boy. This has happened to me too :ohwell: I was a wee bit older so I can't imagine how hurtful it might have been to be treated like that at such a tender age. I do recall the confusion though.0 -
OHHHH.... that is sooo sad... We all have some issues we need to work on. Don't let that one nasty comment ruin it forever. And I would tell you, to look around that beach and see what other people have on, no can look nice with out looking trashy. They make bathing suits for every size now. I will never be that person at the water park in a shirt and shorts again... never!!!
GOOD LUCK !!!! and keep up the good work!!0 -
All I can think is, you married this man why?
DITTO.0 -
OMG, I would've laughed hysterically at myself. This is a true "Fat Bottomed Girl" moment and I would've laughed all the way down the slow slide ride lol. True, it was an indicator just maybe I might want to do something about it but I would've laughed and laughed.0
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exactly!! when i met my husband i was a very sexy 145 ( im very curvey) after i had my daughter i was a very NOT sexy 220lbs that i could not get off!! and my husband never once said a thing about it im not down to one 155 and i ask him why didnt you say anything he says you look beautiful an anysize if my husband told me i look disgusting id tell him to kick rocks!0
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Once when I was running after having only lost maybe my first 20 pounds or so and some guys drove by in a car and one of them yelled, "Get it girl!! (insert long pause) THUNDER THIGHS!!!!" I put on a mean face and ran harder. They can suck it.0
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i was at a party and infront of everyone, a guy says "hey you're pretty fat hey?"
i left the party crying.
basically anything that happened to me in jr high.
an ex phoned me on canada day drunk just to tell me how fat i've gotten.
yup, being fat sucks.
ps: your husband sounds like a jerk.0 -
You married a jerk.0
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Wow that was mean of your husband, I'm sorry. He could have been nicer and just said it wasn't flattering or whatever.
Anyway.. my worst moment was when I realized that the 'cute' swimsuit I had worn all summer was actually a maternity suit. I partly thank my bad eyesight for that because it said maternity right on the tag that was sewn in! At least I don't LOOK pregnant anymore. LOL0 -
hmmmm 2 I guess... first was when some of the rollercoasters at ceader point were not doable for me... and then once when I was walking to my car at a restaurant with my ex, a couple drove by and the guy said to get my fat *kitten* out of the way - his gf quickly followed up with other fat insults... lol honestly the rollercoaster denial was worse because at least i knew the people throwing insults were just wastes of life...0
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Once when I was running after having only lost maybe my first 20 pounds or so and some guys drove by in a car and one of them yelled, "Get it girl!! (insert long pause) THUNDER THIGHS!!!!" I put on a mean face and ran harder. They can suck it.
You GO girl! :flowerforyou:0 -
You married a jerk.
Your future ex-husband.0 -
When one of my friends daughter asked if i was having another baby... pretty bad!!!0
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100 lbs ago......anal seepage. Not anymore and a major motivator. Now, go find a barb bag, but you asked. :laugh: :noway: :sad:0
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humiliating? um....i'm so confused.....he did this, said this....this was your most humiliating experience...and yet you walked down the aisle & said "i do?" REALLY? um....food is a band aide...sure....i get it, been there, done that, fight that battle daily....but having someone treat you like crap and get away with it? Wow. you have taught him that it's acceptable.....that's on you. When you decided you deserve more you'll make some changes.....good luck.0
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