Your most humiliating "fat" experience.
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When I was in high school, boys would pass by me and make cow noises as I walked. Needless to say, I have no confidence. Especially when my father takes a younger picture of me and says "See that? You weren't born a fatass. So why are you one now?"
There are plenty of moments in my life that make me want to die inside because of my weight. From "No wonder no boy has ever asked you out" to "You're gonna die for being like this", its all embarrassment and humiliation.0 -
Ok. Fine. here is the argument.
"You need a bigger swim suit".
"Why? is this one too skimpy?"
"It just needs to be bigger."
"Is it too small? It doesn't feel tight. Does it look bad?"
"You Look disgusting in it!"
In my opinion, if a guy is willing to walk into this mine field - interrogating him comes at your risk.
"It just needs to be bigger"
Was as far as it needed to go. This totally implies; 1. It's too small for you and 2. It looks bad.
Otherwise, I'm sure he never would have mentioned it in the first place (knowing that this is a minefield).
I know that YOU suggest that this would be safer:
"Maybe you should try that suit again after you lose a few more pounds".
I would NEVER think that this would be a "safer" option. In my experience - mentioning a girls weight directly is not a wise move at all.
For that matter, had he actually said, "It's too small and it looks bad on you"
This might still have been remembered as, "You Look disgusting in it!"
It waswn't interrogating. I wanted to know if it was really bad, or if just too skimpy or what not. You really seem to have a hard time not blaming me for his assinine comment. If you knew him personally you would know that he is habitually vague. But I digress. I do not argue in MFP forums. Carry on.0 -
I have quite a few. I got the "when are you due" thing just once, but to be fair I had gained 20 lbs or more since the person had last seen me, and started wearing clothes that were too big for me (XL men's t-shirts almost all the time for a phase there).
One was probably almost 20 years ago, one of the times I joined a gym. The snotty, skinny little ***** who worked there had to weigh me and use calipers to pinch the fat at my hips to determine my body fat percentage on my first day. She kind of poked me and said, "If I can FIND your hipbones," and sighed loudly - just very unpleasant. I was probably about size 14 (I can't exactly remember), and my hips are pretty obvious, even if you can't feel the hipbone. The worst part is that I didn't complain or walk out, I just stood there feeling humiliated and went ahead and paid my money to that gym. I hate to think how that young woman acted with clients larger than me.
Let's see... another was when a boyfriend in college, in the middle of making out, said, "Have you ever tried to lose weight?"0 -
I have a couple;
1. Next door neighbour hadn't seen me in a couple of years. Met her and I said the usual 'hi, how are you' etc...... she said nothing at first, just looked at me and then said 'you've really destroyed yourself, you were such a little thing....' and so on and so forth. I was shocked, angry and upset all at the same time. I looked her up and down and turned my back on her and haven't spoken to her since. She did mention it to my mother afterwards that she hoped she hadn't upset me.
2. While I was in the bathroom, I heard two ex-friends discussing how much weight I had put on while washing their hands.
3. I was on the carousel in Disney and a woman beside me told me I was great to get on to the horse as there was no way she could have done it when she was pregnant. I just smiled and nodded.... she figured out I wasn't pregnant and spent the rest of the ride apologising - sh+t up - its bad enough, just leave it!!
People are cruel as right and none of those incidents caused me to change my lifestyle.0 -
During my first year of teaching high school, the stress and 60-hour weeks took a toll on my health and weight. I lost 10 pounds, then gained 20. One day, one of my tactless teenage students said, "We think you are having a baby because you just keep getting bigger and bigger!" Unfortunately, it was true.0
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My most humiliating experience as a fat person came when I was about 10 or 11 years old (yeah, I was a fat kid). Actually, I have two of them...
First one was when I was in the fifth grade - the accelerated class I was in (being smart probably saved me some further ridicule for being fat) decided to do a holiday play for kids in the earlier grades. Of course, Santa Claus was the main character, and naturally when the class voted on who should play him, everyone in the room turned and pointed at me. Never mind that I was not an actor nor did I want to act...
The second experience (probably when I was 10) was when my dad, an ex-Marine and all around fitness fanatic, told me to get my "azz" off of the couch one day. He took me outside to the backyard and pointed at the huge, steep hill we had. "I want you to run up and down that hill." So I did, and while I was panting, sweating, and wondering what I'd done wrong, he made it a point to remind me that I was having a hard time because of all the 'eating and sitting on the couch' I'd done. I felt like I was about ready to die and he kept running me because he didn't want to have a fat kid. So yeah... those things stick with me even now.0 -
When I was working out with my 5 yr old I did a tougher workout one day and I had to stop to take a drink during it and my daughter said Mommy why are you stopping you have to keep doing what the lady is doing or you'll grow big and round. Was more funnier than anything and I said I know you're right I just need a drink. My husband said something but it was more in a good way he said if you keep getting any more muscle in your arms you're gonna be able to beat me up. Don't know if he meant it wasn't a good thing I had so much muscles or if he meant it was n he just noticed they just had really grown.0
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All I can think is, you married this man why?
I often ask myself the same question. Too often in fact.
First of all...I may be young, but the one thing I was taught about the opposite sex is if you really have to ask yourself that question..it truly wasn't meant to be. I feel as though you posted this topic and this story to get opinions on this reaction from your boyfriend (now husband). girl, I'm sorry but that is down right rude of him...and that for me would have been grounds for a breakup on the spot. He should love you no matter what.
As for an embarrassing story...I was shopping for clothes one day (this was before I even had my daughter and mind you I was PMS'ing at the time..sooo I was bloated) and the girl at the counter asked me if I was having a boy or a girl...my blood was boiling as I left the store and I could barely sign the receipt without my hand shaking uncontrollably.
I hope you are on this weight loss journey for YOU not your husband hun....good luck to you :flowerforyou:
Perfectly said.0 -
All I can think is, you married this man why?
I often ask myself the same question. Too often in fact.
Uhhhhh...yeah!? I'm 5'3", and 143lb's, and in the best shape I've been in my whole life! Granted, I've got a good amount of muscle, so it's not all just fat, but still! I'm totally wearing a bathing suit this summer! Stretch marks n all!!! I worked hard to get here, n I'm only 13lb's from goal. If my husband said that to me, I'd kick his a@#!!!!!0 -
All I can think is, you married this man why?
I often ask myself the same question. Too often in fact.
First of all...I may be young, but the one thing I was taught about the opposite sex is if you really have to ask yourself that question..it truly wasn't meant to be. I feel as though you posted this topic and this story to get opinions on this reaction from your boyfriend (now husband). girl, I'm sorry but that is down right rude of him...and that for me would have been grounds for a breakup on the spot. He should love you no matter what.
As for an embarrassing story...I was shopping for clothes one day (this was before I even had my daughter and mind you I was PMS'ing at the time..sooo I was bloated) and the girl at the counter asked me if I was having a boy or a girl...my blood was boiling as I left the store and I could barely sign the receipt without my hand shaking uncontrollably.
I hope you are on this weight loss journey for YOU not your husband hun....good luck to you :flowerforyou:
Perfectly said.
Agreed! And I used to get asked that all the time!!!! People are so dang rude!!!0 -
All I can think is, you married this man why?
^This. Your spouse can be tactful and motivate you with kind words, but humiliate you? That's just cruel.
It makes me sad to hear that your loved one would be so cruel
My husband has always loved me and supported me no matter my size. I met him when I was a size 6...and here I am now at a size 16 on bottom and a xl or 1x on top. I have gained up to 92 pounds more than what I was when I met him and he would never, out of respect for me, say anything like that.
Having said that, the thing that has been most humiliating to me was on my 12th anniversary trip to Cancun. Andrew and I took a "Jungle Tour" which consisted of every couple having their own little mini boat and jetting thru the ocean to a reef to snorkel. After we snorkeled, a man helped everyone into their boat. Here I was pushing 240 and he could barely get me out of the water. I was SO humiliated. AND, the process ripped one of my earrings out of my ear and made it bleed.0 -
In middle school I rode a bus that was so overcrowded that we had to sit three to a seat. I got on early enough to sit down first, and when the bus driver told a kid to sit next to me the kid said, "But there are already three people in that seat."
I was very timid and shy then so I said nothing, but thankfully the driver smacked the kid upside the head and made him sit somewhere else.0 -
Cruel remarks don't motivate me. They mostly make feel like cutting a *****.
Friends or loved ones who would say those things would be out of my life so fast their heads would spin. I don't need anyone tearing me down so I can build myself back up.
Agreed. Whenever someone says their beloved/friend says something bad about them, there's always responses to use it to motivate yourself and prove him/her wrong. No. You get rid of the piece of crap. If he stops saying bad things when you lose weight, he's still a piece of crap that doesn't deserve your time.0 -
I was in denial that I was overweight. I tried to fit in size 3 jeans.it ripped.
Oh, the horror!!0 -
At Great America on the Batman ride... "I'm sorry ma'am, you can't ride this."
NOT ANYMORE! The last time I went I was able to ride everything with no problem.0 -
i cannot believe OP married a man like that. anywho
i was at a family reunion with my then FI and FI and I were in one of those boat things that you paddle...oh yeah, paddle boat LOL and I couldnt get out. FI brother helped me out and I literally cracked the wood in the deck getting out. seriously? omg...I was sooo fat then and so embarrassed. NEVER going back there. EVER0 -
I missed this post somehow :blushing:
A few of mine are going through the drive thru of my favorite burger place and having them tell me my order before I could finish saying it
A little girl I didn't even know coming up to me in the park and telling me "you're so fat" i didn't know what to do I just walked away in tears
The whole family planning my sister's 21st and having to exclude certain things she wanted to do because "Amanda won't be able to do that because of her weight, pick something else"
My husband's life insurance denying me, but approving him so if anything happened to him I would be taken care of but if something happened to me he would get nothing, not fair at all since he is the one out there working so hard for us already
Seeing myself in a full length mirror, I don't have length mirrors in my house, I know I look/am fat but actually seeing it fully staring back at me...0 -
The first time I had to have my husband put on my shoes and socks because I couldn't any longer.0
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Probably breaking chairs.0
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laughing so hard I pee'd my pants. Happened quite often when I was big, not any more!0
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All I can think is, you married this man why?
THIS0 -
In middle school I was on the dance team and a friend of mine said I looked fat on stage when performing for the school. I wouldn't ever consider myself fat at all during my life, but that was still scarring growing up as I was never really skinny either, and made me second guess ever doing dance again for a long while.0
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We all surely have some experience related to out weight that lingers in our minds. I wouldn't say I was even fat when this happened. I am 5'3", at the time I weighed 145 pounds. I was in the process of losing weight I gained from quitting smoking. Anyhoo, we were talking about going to the beach. My now husband, then boyfriend, made the remark that I should get a bigger swim suit. I was wondering what was wrong with the one I had. I asked him what he meant and why he said that. He would never really clarify. Finally he just yelled at me that I look disgusting in my swim suit. Needless to say, I haven't put on a swim suit since. I actually bought one last year, but I could never bring myself to wear the thing.
When you look back on these things do they motivate you? Do you feel a sense of hopelessness that drives you to failure over and over?
omg! Sorry, but your hubs sounds like a d*ck!
My advice to you: JUST DO IT! Put the swim suit on. Even if its just in your bathroom by yourself. Let yourself feel the feelings that arise. Let them move through your body (but remain kind to yourself and those feelings. Don't judge them) The longer you wear the swimsuit, the sooner those feelings will pass. :flowerforyou:0 -
Your husband kind of sounds like a jerk
I had the same thought. If he had to comment at all, there are probably nicer ways of saying this.0 -
My most embarrassing moment was having to get a seatbelt extender on an airplane. Luckily (I've heard horror stories) the flight attendant was so sweet and discreet about it.0
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I see way too many posts here made by (mostly) women whose husbands/boyfriends call them "disgusting" or "ugly" or "fat", it's sad. I get telling your partner, in a respectful way, that an article of clothing is not flattering, but nobody who loves you should say you look "disgusting". It's not motivational, it's just assholish behavior. Motivation needs to come from within, not from *kitten* making comments at you. Wtf.0
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For one I can't believe you would marry someone that said something so hurtful. Anyways, my most embarrassing moment was my anniversary trip with my ex-husband to Kings Island. I LOVE roller coasters..but there was one that it took 3 people to get my belt latched...yea..that's who you want riding on the ride w/you! =(0
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DH told me I was fat and gross and ugly... sex with me was a chore. THAT didn't motivate me... It made me sad and hungry.
What motivated me was the doctor telling me that he would be happy with me if I could lose 10lbs by Christmas. (It was July) He had said I would begin to feel better and that I need to let everyone in my family start to fend for themselves and to start looking out for me. THAT was my motivation.0 -
All I can think is, you married this man why?
this...0 -
My husband and I planned an wonderful weekend getaway at a nice hotel in Atlantic City. They had a FANTASTIC spa and he surprised me with a full day package of treatments (I suspect it was so he could spend the day gambling and I wouldn't bug him). I got down there and you had to wear a robe into the spa area, no clothes and no shoes. THey didn't have a robe big enough to fit me. Three women kept bringing me bigger and bigger robes (in the a changing room FULL of people) and when they got to the largest men's size all stood there staring at me like "Now what?"
They refunded our money and I beat a hasty (and tearful) retreat back to our room where my husband was still getting dressed. It took him about half an hour to wheedle out of me exactly what happened. He kept apologizing for giving me the gift package, and kept asking if I wanted to switch hotels. It wasn't his fault and I had to buck up and pretend it didn't bother me so he would stop feeling so bad.0
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