Your most humiliating "fat" experience.
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You married him?!?!?! Eeeek.
I would say first I would have broken him with him. Then I would have been motivated to prove him wrong and then 'accidentally' be in the same place as him and let him see how awesome I looked.
However, since you married him. I would say, let ii motivate you to be a better you. Don't let the negative words of others, keep you from your goals.
Frankie0 -
All I can think is, you married this man why?
My thoughts exactly!!0 -
i saw a picture of myself digging on the beach with my son and I was at my biggest. My eyes went STRAIGHT to the hanging belly that had a fold that resembled an *kitten* and it was hanging... HANGING as I was in this photo smiling with my son. Why my husband didn't tell me NOT to wear a 2 piece bathing suit is beyond me. I guess love is blind (in my case- sorry to the gal above me), but I was humiliated by that photo.0
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I apologize but I must comment on that remark from your husband. My husband and I are both heavy. We have been married for 30 years. I was not always heavy nor was he. Never in all those years has my husband said anything like that or I to him. He has told me things maybe do not look the best, or other things like that and I to him. I would not want to hurt his feelings or he mine. We try to treat each other with respect and courtesy and always be kind to one another. You need someone like that.
I have to agree with this. My husband sees me through rose colored glasses. At my highest weight I still was complimented all the time. Sometimes I wonder if that is why it took me so long to see it myself. 24 years together, I slowly expanded and he didn't. He argues that at my current weight I'm the same size I was in high school.... and I'm a good 40lbs heavier! He still doesn't believe my starting weight. I understand how he sees me though, because I see him the same way. He has a little bit of a beer belly (pretty much always has) and I love every inch of it. When you love someone you don't see their flaws the way others do. I hope you and your husband can get to that place. As you get older you realize how little superficial things mean. I couldn't imagine how I would feel if my hubby ever said something like that to me.
My most embarrassing moment was when I was on vacation in the Dominican Republic. We went to the natural pool (sandbar in the middle of the ocean where the water is waist deep). When it was time to leave we had to climb a ladder back into the boat. I got one leg over and didn't have the strength to pull myself in. So there I dangled for a couple of minutes trying to figure out what the hell to do. My daughter came over and gave me a shove from below when she realized I was stuck. I'm sure the locals had a great laugh at the "fat tourist".0 -
yeah, this story should read "ex-boyfriend."0
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I've had several humliating "fat" experiences. tThe one that effected me the most was said by my Grandpa when I was 9 years old when I was overweight. I was excited because I had swam 15 laps in the pool (it wasn't an olymipic size pool but it was large) and I had done an exercise tape earlier. His response was, "That's good because guys don't like the fat girls. I know a few and they are sweet as can be but the guys won't get near them." (he was security gaurd at the high school of a neighboring town). I know he was trying to be helpful and he did motivate me... I started down the road of anorexia shortly after that and became an exercise junkie. I was painfully thin or thin or normal weight until I moved back home (due to economical and physical issues) and gained 43 pounds in the first year. Still trying to lose that weight.
Most recently my boyfriend's Uncle came over while I was at his apt. He had a few beers. I bet over in front of him to pick something up and he laughingly says "You have too much butt" I was humiliated. And of course my boyfriend remained silent because God forbid he goes against his family (we've been going out for 15 years). There are several more occasions but those are the two that are sticking out the most in my mind right now. The one my Grandpa said never leaves my mind.0 -
It was a sister trip to a theme park (four of us). I spent quite a bit of time nervous about whether I would fit but almost all of the rides worked -- until the last one -- the one I wanted so badly. Luckily they had a "try it out" seat at the entrance and couldn't do it. There I sat, waiting for them to finish the ride and trying not to cry. They came back and I said next year we were coming here and I'm going to ride that ride! So far I'm down 24 pounds and Steel Venom is going to be mine!
While I know that people probably look at me and think "geez, she should lose A LOT of weight" most people don't say anything. However, my neighbor (who for the second time in two hours couldn't remember that her daughter was in school -- pretty sure she was high) had to point out in a screaming fit that "she was fine" and I was a "f&*(ing fat *kitten*." People like that actually make me laugh -- I'm not the idiot that is so drunk or high that I don't know where my kids are. I can lose weight, you can't fix stupid. :laugh:0 -
All I can think is, you married this man why?
my thoughts exactly!0 -
All I can think is, you married this man why?
This0 -
My ex wife told me I was too fat to have sex with while she was dumping me. I was 5'11" and about 200lbs.0
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Mine was 2 years ago. I'm 5'11", so with extra weight on me I'm Andre the Giant. Plus I've always been a little self conscious of my height, never even MIND my weight. I was probably like 250lbs, and I was coming out of a friends apartment building where there were a bunch of little kids playing out front. One of the little boys spotted me and as loud as an 8 year old can yell, he screamed "OH MY GOD, it's a HUGE FRIGGIN' LADY." I can still hear it in my head...(Maine-ah accent and all.) All eyes immediately turned to "huge friggin' lady". Since it's illegal to dropkick other peoples kids, I just went home and obsessed over it in my head. I mean, how HUGE do you have to be for an 8 year old to lose his *kitten* when he sees you?0
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I met my husband at a healthy weight and married him obese. We've been married 16 years (together for 22) and I am now 272lbs. He tells me that I should work on losing weight ONLY when I complain about it. He's been very supportive, but I think my yoyo dieting and complaining about it without working at it really bothered him. This year I have committed to finishing my journey for the first time.
I'm not bashing your husband because I don't know your situation, but I definitely wouldn't lose weight for him but for myself. If he doesn't like you now, he'll find something else not to like about you even after you lose the weight. Plus, I wouldn't want to waste my precious years on him, there is so much more happiness to be had. Believe me I know, this is my second marriage and it's the best one.
I have many embarrassing moments, my most memorable is when I was at King's Island with my 9yo daughter and she wanted to ride a coaster. I didn't fit and she had to ride it alone. She said she was very sad for me:(. It has still taken me 3 years to start my journey. Such a waste of time waiting that long, but I'm ready now.0 -
A couple of them. Before the gastric bypass I went to a local amusement park and went on a corkscrew roller coaster. The workers pushed hard to get the restraint to click into place. When they finally did get it it pinched my skin in the clasp. I was so humiliated that I didn't say anything. I rode the entire thing with my skin pinched. When it was released I went to the bathroom and looked at it. Bruised and red and bleeding. I cried for a solid 5 minutes in that stall. Then I pulled myself together and made sure not to attempt any rides that looked like i wouldn't fit. Mortifying!
And fast forward to recent: I had my son in Jan '12. In July I went to visit my mom at her seasonal camp up in Maine. I was wearing a cute sundress that I loved and was waiting outside of the little store sipping my water when this little girl (maybe like 4) comes up to me and points to Ian and says "baby!" And I smiled and said "yes, his name is Ian." Then she pointed directly at my stomach (arms length) and says "another baby?" I laughed and said "oh no, honey, I'm just fat." I laughed about it but inside I was dying. It pretty much ruined my whole day. I mentioned it to my husband who said "you had Ian just a few months ago, don't take it to heart."
I finally stopped 'waiting' for the baby weight to drop off and started doing something about it. Now I weigh less than I did when I got pregnant. Huzzah!!!
Also, to the OP: My first thought was "and you MARRIED this man???" So glad others had the same reaction. No one deserves that response, darling. You are beautiful!!!0 -
A few years ago, I had just gotten back to my apartment after grocery shopping and I was so lazy, so I overloaded my plastic bags so I wouldn't have to make multiple trips back to my car. The bags ripped on my way to my apartment, as I was walking past a really fit couple about to/finished with their daily run. They stopped to help me carry my "food" (all junk) to my apartment. They were really nice and didn't say anything to me about it, but I was so embarrassed that it motivated me to start eating better.0
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That wasn't a very loving thing to say to you. Sometimes, I feel my husband says these things with his eyes. But, for him to actually say it, I don't think I could get over that. It would motivate me to lose weight, then leave his *kitten*, wanting me and go for a far sexier man.0
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I was going out with someone and he said "you need to go to the gym" in a very nasty tone. Never went out with him again.0
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Omg...I could NEVER be with a man that has told me that. Im way bigger than you. Like 80 lbs bigger... and my husband still always tells me I'm sexy. Lol.
Anyway
... my most embarrassing moment was someone asking me when did I get pregnant. Im not pregnant. =/0 -
People say stupid hurtful things sometimes...hopefully that was a one time incident! Not a nice thing to say.0
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I know I've had many over the years, but one in particular stands out from when I was only in 4th/5th grade. I was a little chubby then, nothing like I am now, and actually once I started growing I thinned out a lot. Anyway, during those years there was this girl Abbey, who for what ever reason would call me a fat *kitten* in regular conversation all the time. At first I couldn't believe it. Then it just became a norm. Unfortunately, I never told anyone because I was more embarrassed about being fat. She moved away in the middle of 5th grade, but it has always stuck with me. I even remember the voice she would say it in, kinda low with a Southern draw to it. She made sure to really put an emphasis on it. Kids can be so mean.
Also, if you really have to ask yourself why you're with your husband, than it might be time to really evaluate your marriage and if it is right for you. I know it can be scary, but being happy should be your priority and his.0 -
My boyfriend isn't allowed to buy clothes for me anymore. when he met me I was an anorexic 80 pounds. He helped me get out of that I got up to 100pound. I now weigh 159 and he still thinks I'm a size small. He doesn't see the weight gain, he just sees me. We've been together for 15 years (since I wsa 16) and the only time he commented on my weight was when he thought I was too skinny. All he wants is for me to be happy. which i think is why my weight got out of control - my parents and my boyfriend never told me I was gaining weight and I don't figure it out till I went to the doctor and the nurse said "Damn! What happened to you?" (another humiliating moment). But everyone i know says they don't even notice the weight gain. It's bizarre to me.0
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lol, how bout all of elementary/middle school?0
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I'm so sorry you had to endure this abuse. We should try at all times to love and support. Easier said than done but there is no excuse for this!
When dealing with issues like this we can apply the following: T H I N K before you speak!
T - Is it TRUE?
H - Is it HELPFUL?
I - Is it INSPIRATIONAL?
N - Is it NECESSARY?
K - Is it KIND?
If you can't answer yes to ALL of these then please SHUT UP!0 -
I was taking a sign language class at the local community college. We had a party at the end of it. I overheard two guys talking. One said,"My wife kept talking about this Richard guy in class (me) and I got really jealous. Then I met him and saw how fat he was & I knew there was no reason to be". I obsessed about that for a looong time.0
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you may find some of the weight you're looking to lose may be the husband.
THIS!!!!!0 -
I always felt people just had to keep reminding me I was fat. Calling me "big guy" or "big boy." Or if we were at a food gathering, people would say things like. "did you save some for us." My mom did't like the fact that I was big. She would call me names. She thought it would motivate me but all it did was made me worse.0
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I went through an incredibly stressful period in my life and put on 50lbs thanks to stress eating (and then another 20lbs on top of that!). I was also in major denial about my weight gain. Well I was working on a story about people in an addiction recovery program and basically spent a week sitting in on some of their sessions and talking to patients who were willing to share their story. During some down time, one of the patients came up to me and asked me when my baby was due. I told her that I wasn't pregnant and rather than apologizing, she stuck her arms out in a circle (like she was simulating a big belly) and puffed up her cheeks and walked away. Granted, this woman had some serious issues (anorexia, alcoholism, bipolar disorder) but it still really hurt!0
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I was going out with someone and he said "you need to go to the gym" in a very nasty tone. Never went out with him again.
Did he call the police when you slapped him?0 -
Although that may have been a motivating factor to jumpstart your weight loss, I'm sure it also destroyed your self esteem at the same time. At first, it seems he told you without telling you, but since you kept pushing for a reason, he may have thought it better to just say it "real". However, the words he used may have not been the best choice. I can tell you, my husband, may think such things but would never say them, because of the backlash he would receive in return. Men just don't understand that no matter what, all we really need is encouragement, support and to know that no matter what.....WE STILL LOOK GOOD!0
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We all surely have some experience related to out weight that lingers in our minds. I wouldn't say I was even fat when this happened. I am 5'3", at the time I weighed 145 pounds. I was in the process of losing weight I gained from quitting smoking. Anyhoo, we were talking about going to the beach. My now husband, then boyfriend, made the remark that I should get a bigger swim suit. I was wondering what was wrong with the one I had. I asked him what he meant and why he said that. He would never really clarify. Finally he just yelled at me that I look disgusting in my swim suit. Needless to say, I haven't put on a swim suit since. I actually bought one last year, but I could never bring myself to wear the thing.
When you look back on these things do they motivate you? Do you feel a sense of hopelessness that drives you to failure over and over?
You said your now Husband? I would have never marrie dhim if he yelled at and said that. Just saying.0 -
Maybe because he can say the truth while everyone else is busy trying to protect her feelings while she is going around embaressing herself- he was trying to help her. Apparently, she had to pull his teeth for him to tell her too. I support a guy telling his girl when she does/does not look good. I would want my girl to tell me when I look like **** too, instead of pumping my ego with things that I *want* to hear.0
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