Your most humiliating "fat" experience.

sure looks matter in a relationship...but I know, hands down... that my husband can probably get a new girl in a minute, but she will not be me. He will be miserable and then he would think, he chose a petty thing to give me up over. So I think to myself when I am feeling blue over my weight, noone is perfect, and you can choose to choose someone upon their looks and have great arm candy...or you can choose on personality and substance and be happy.

So, you can not have one with out the other? My ex used to tell me I would never find someone as awesome as him.

I am with a gorgeous and generous man now that treats me like a princess.

I think many of the women on this site would like to think that they are great arm candy with a personality and substance. The thought that your husband can not get both is pretty disrespectful to him..

When I stepped on the scale at my 6 month post baby checkup and it read 220lbs. I looked in the mirror and I still looked VERY pregnant. At 5'5, I was a sad sight. I was so mad at myself for letting it get that bad. It was a HUGE wake up call.

I think I've been lucky that I don't really have any "fat" experiences to share. But with luck, it's also been a lot of planning, because I have intentionally kept myself away from so many situations where this could occur. I won't exercise outside of my house because I fear something like the drive-by comments listed above. I bring my own larger chairs to events because I fear I might break someone's chair. I always search out weight limits. I haven't flown in over 15 years. Etc., Etc.

I am sorry for all the pregnant comments, but in a way, they have finally given me something to be thankful about in my body type. I'm fat all over and just have never had that "pregnant" look.

That would be very humiliating - and that would be something that would hurt me, never motivate me. My husband's family believes saying things motivates people - and maybe it does for some of them, but it doesn't for me. His sister has always been very large and I've heard them make comments about her being able to fit in a chair. I called them out on it later and they honestly believed that by pointing it out, she would realize she needed to lose weight. I laughed and said she knows she is overweight! A 300 pound person doesn't need someone to point it out - they are constantly reminded about it in every aspect of their life. They should have a safe and accepting place with their family. I also told them that comments like that would just force me to eat more - certainly not motivate me to lose weight. I'm grateful that that conversation happened early in our marriage, before I put on 75 pounds. If not, my husband might have said some things thinking he was "helping" which might have in turn destroyed our marriage.

I count myself pretty lucky that I've always held my weight well,always stayed at least moderately active, and I've been pretty self confident, I've had my off days and on days, but I am a loud mouth, sardonic person who holds her own.On the shallow side I've never felt ignored by the opposite sex, and I have an awesome boyfriend who always says great stuff about me and supports me losing some weight to a size I'm more comfortable. I have come to the point in my life where I realize I'll never be "skinny" and that's fine with me. Being a size 10 or 12 would be the hottest version of me, and I accept and love that.

Positive stuff aside there is some stuff that I'll never forget. Mostly it taught me to tell people to f*** off.

- When I was younger my Trindadian grandfather came to visit after a few years of not seeing me and asked me if I was still able to get up on my pointe shoes (I did ballet my whole young life until I was 18) Island people, esp the older generation can be really tactless. They think it's funny, but you just sound like a butt, sorry granddad.

- I was walking home from high school, guys yelled at me out of car, initially hitting on me, but when I didn't turn around they called me fat. I realized that they were just pouty because I didn't turn around and offer to b*** them, like all the other girls I'm sure that's worked on (being sarcastic)

- I went to Wet Seal once and I tried on an "XL" shirt, it got stuck, I tried in vain to take it off, but I was on my own and I had to ask the store associate to help me get it off. She had to rip it off me. She was really nice though, she told me "Oh you know these are Asian sizes, they are smaller." I still didn't go back in that store for 6 months though.

- I was in a long line at McDonald's with my bf, when two (I'm presuming crazy) older people who only spoke Spanish started coming up to me and my bf and talking to us. I've NEVER been called pregnant before ever, but apparently(my bf translated) she was asking me about my baby and the old man was saying that we were too fat blah blah. I think I was sad because while I got angry, and wished I knew Spanish so I could tell them to f*** off, my bf was the more humiliated one, he took me out of the line to go to the drive thru and was crying, he felt unable to tell them off because he has that Cuban sense of "be respectful to your elders" thing ingrained in him. I guess I felt embarrassed because I couldn't defend him and he felt unable to defend himself. That's the only time I've ever been called pregnant...it was bizarre.

Through life you have little jabs and stuff here and there, underhanded "compliments" but I count myself lucky that I let a lot of that roll off of me. And honestly I know it helps that I have an hourglass figure and I'm pretty. Shallow but true.

Either way I still think it's unacceptable for people to be so cruel to others about appearance, etc. It's crap and it's damaging, and it's a waste of time.

I hope you get where you want to, and tell your husband to go do many things where the sun doesn't shine.

A gal I work with once remarked that my arms were as big as her legs. I don't think she was trying to hurt my feelings, she's just not very sensitive and says whatever is on her mind. But yeah, that wasn't pleasant.

Another time, I was in a yoga class, and I am quite flexible so teachers often expect me to go farther in poses than the rest of the class... So I was in this Utkatasana twist and the teacher decided to help me do a bind (this requires clasping one's hands together as they reach around my butt). She tried and tried, and finally I had to tell her that my butt was too big for this. We both kind of laughed it off at that point

I was fat AND pregnant, and visiting my Mom down in Kentucky. I told her I was having trouble finding maternity clothes and was feeling really bad about things. She took me to a chain maternity store to look for work pants. They told me they didn't have any in my size. A MATERNITY store. I kinda lost it. "What - you all don't think fat women get pregnant? That fat women don't have sex? Why DON'T you carry the larger sizes? You're in Kentucky, for pete's sake" (Kentucky is known of having a high obesity rate). She said she'd talk to the store manager about ordering some larger sizes, but that didn't help me since I lived far away. I was so embarrassed.

Getting kicked off a roller coaster a Busch Gardens. I was mortified. I was about 240lbs at the time. I have always had huge hips and even at my smallest they are wide. I had my sweatshirt tied around my waist and the girl behind me was like take it off you will fit....she was sweet but I put my head down and got off.

Hi, this is my first post. First, I asked my husband the other day if I'd become his trophy wife when I lost weight and his answer? "You are already my trophy wife."
Humiliation: I was living in Italy at the time and there was this wonderful bakery down the street from me. Just before Christmas, I stopped in to treat myself to a spiced fig cookie, yum. I only bought one. As the baker was getting it for me, he turned and looked at me for a second and then asked me if I had an eating disorder. OMG!!! I left there as fast as I could and never went back. The worst part, the ground was damp outside the door and just as I hit the steps, I FELL. However, a very nice lady and man came over and helped me up and to a table at the café next door. Really, it was so hurtful. (5’4” and 220 att)

I feel for ya OP!

I'm a deer hunter and I was married at the time. So this was Winter 2008. I was 290lbs. Our marriage was in SHAMBLES! (I didn't know he had been with another woman for approx. 6mo at the time - I choose to not believe the signs)

So we go out to a plowed field to be the "posters" for the people who were "driving" the deer towards us. We brought out those fold out camp chairs and we put them in the plowed field and when I sat down the plastic foot broke. He said "If you weren't so fat, maybe that wouldn't have happened" - I had a 12 guage loaded shotgun in my hands. I stood up out of the chair and my hands were shaking so bad because I knew I had to unload the gun because I was tempted to blow his knees apart.

I unloaded the gun, got in the truck and left him in the field. I went to a deer stand and cried so hard I threw up.

In all my years of being heavy and all my years of being teased nothing compared to that EVER!!!

I left him June 2009 after finding out about the mistress, lies, money and gifts. It was the best thing I've ever done.

I'm so sorry you had to endure this abuse. We should try at all times to love and support. Easier said than done but there is no excuse for this!

When dealing with issues like this we can apply the following: T H I N K before you speak!

T - Is it TRUE?

H - Is it HELPFUL?

I - Is it INSPIRATIONAL?

N - Is it NECESSARY?

K - Is it KIND?

If you can't answer yes to ALL of these then please SHUT UP!

I teach middle school and this going up on my wall before the end of the day today!! Thanks for sharing!

I have had that happen to me..not fitting into seats is so embarassing:embarassed:

Several...but one that stands out is I was in a costco parking lot and a group of guys drove by and yelled Jenny Craig

Umm. Is it bad that I keep bringing home articles for at home workouts and leave them laying around for my wife - hoping against all hope that she will take the hint? Or that I bring home workout dvd's that she has said look like something she'd do (and then never sticks with them)? Or am I simply being an insensitive azshole? Where do you draw the line? I agree that he was being insensitive, but had he said other, kinder things to you in the past that you disregarded? Is a man (or woman) supposed to just be happy he has a wife, with no concern for what she does to her body or how she looks? Just live with it, shut up, and be happy? I've worked hard to be in better shape, shouldn't she?


Oh, and this is all hypothetical don't get your panties twisted.

If your wife has mentioned an interest in working out, then I don't see anything wrong with leaving articles around or buying DVDs for her. My boyfriend bought me a Wii because I expressed interest in playing some of the dancing games, and I thought it was really sweet of him. Doing something like that isn't putting pressure on someone or being judgmental; it's doing something nice for them based on something they mentioned.

On the other hand, telling someone they look "disgusting" in their swimsuit is really mean. Asking her if she needed a bigger one was also mean. If she needed a bigger one, she'd buy one. Sometimes, my boyfriend and I go to a concert, and he asks for a "Large" t-shirt. I know he probably needs an XL, but I keep my trap shut because first of all, maybe the Large will fit (and sometimes it does), and second of all (and most importantly) it would hurt his feelings.

The most important thing is how you approach her. If you approach it out of love and concern and acknowledge that she's brought it up and maybe you can help her or workout together, then yes, that's okay. If it's something along the lines of, "You look fat now, so either lose weight or leave. I got myself in shape, so you should too," then that's pretty harsh. It sounds like you're really trying to help her, though. Give it time. It took me a year or so to finally take the first step toward losing weight, and my boyfriend was supportive and loving the entire time, always making sure to focus on my health and how much he worried about me and not how attracted he was or wasn't. He made it more about living a long life together.