Your most humiliating "fat" experience.

1…34689…25

Replies

  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    Umm. Is it bad that I keep bringing home articles for at home workouts and leave them laying around for my wife - hoping against all hope that she will take the hint? Or that I bring home workout dvd's that she has said look like something she'd do (and then never sticks with them)? Or am I simply being an insensitive azshole? Where do you draw the line? I agree that he was being insensitive, but had he said other, kinder things to you in the past that you disregarded? Is a man (or woman) supposed to just be happy he has a wife, with no concern for what she does to her body or how she looks? Just live with it, shut up, and be happy? I've worked hard to be in better shape, shouldn't she?


    Oh, and this is all hypothetical don't get your panties twisted.

    I had a similar issue with my husband. I did not think that because I'm in shape, he should be. I'm in shape for me, not to manipulate other people into being what I want them to be. I just wanted him to be happy and healthy, not thin, just fit. I did not want him to feel criticized, nagged, or belittled. So I did the outdoor things that he likes to do, with him, to make it more fun for him to get exercise, and I cooked healthy meals for him. It's been working for 14 years.
  • AlmstHvn
    AlmstHvn Posts: 378 Member
    I was fat AND pregnant, and visiting my Mom down in Kentucky. I told her I was having trouble finding maternity clothes and was feeling really bad about things. She took me to a chain maternity store to look for work pants. They told me they didn't have any in my size. A MATERNITY store. I kinda lost it. "What - you all don't think fat women get pregnant? That fat women don't have sex? Why DON'T you carry the larger sizes? You're in Kentucky, for pete's sake" (Kentucky is known of having a high obesity rate). She said she'd talk to the store manager about ordering some larger sizes, but that didn't help me since I lived far away. I was so embarrassed.
  • KSEALM
    KSEALM Posts: 18
    in primary school some boy (who btw looks malnourished) wrote ''Go run, little did you know guys love skinny girls''. That was pretty humiliating.
    Oh, also in primary I was called 'fat *****' once. Cant choose which hurt me most
  • stargirl37
    stargirl37 Posts: 8 Member
    Getting kicked off a roller coaster a Busch Gardens. I was mortified. I was about 240lbs at the time. I have always had huge hips and even at my smallest they are wide. I had my sweatshirt tied around my waist and the girl behind me was like take it off you will fit....she was sweet but I put my head down and got off.
  • Heather4nne
    Heather4nne Posts: 566 Member
    I was in the H&M changeroom trying on a few things with my sister, and (as it wont to happen) a few of the shirts were too small around the bust and tummy. I asked one of the sales ladies if she'd mind exchanging it for the next size up and she looked at the shirt, looked pointedly at my stomach, and said "We don't carry sizes that big." And was only about a size 9 at the time. I've never been a violent person, but I wanted to equal parts cry and punch her right in the ovaries.
  • elainepote
    elainepote Posts: 5 Member
    Hi, this is my first post. First, I asked my husband the other day if I'd become his trophy wife when I lost weight and his answer? "You are already my trophy wife."
    Humiliation: I was living in Italy at the time and there was this wonderful bakery down the street from me. Just before Christmas, I stopped in to treat myself to a spiced fig cookie, yum. I only bought one. As the baker was getting it for me, he turned and looked at me for a second and then asked me if I had an eating disorder. OMG!!! I left there as fast as I could and never went back. The worst part, the ground was damp outside the door and just as I hit the steps, I FELL. However, a very nice lady and man came over and helped me up and to a table at the café next door. Really, it was so hurtful. (5’4” and 220 att)
  • Lizzy13676
    Lizzy13676 Posts: 1
    That is what I was thinking, you married him? Even at 235 pounds my husband tells me he doesn't see me the way I think of myself.
  • salgalbp
    salgalbp Posts: 218 Member
    I feel for ya OP!

    I'm a deer hunter and I was married at the time. So this was Winter 2008. I was 290lbs. Our marriage was in SHAMBLES! (I didn't know he had been with another woman for approx. 6mo at the time - I choose to not believe the signs)

    So we go out to a plowed field to be the "posters" for the people who were "driving" the deer towards us. We brought out those fold out camp chairs and we put them in the plowed field and when I sat down the plastic foot broke. He said "If you weren't so fat, maybe that wouldn't have happened" - I had a 12 guage loaded shotgun in my hands. I stood up out of the chair and my hands were shaking so bad because I knew I had to unload the gun because I was tempted to blow his knees apart.

    I unloaded the gun, got in the truck and left him in the field. I went to a deer stand and cried so hard I threw up.

    In all my years of being heavy and all my years of being teased nothing compared to that EVER!!!

    I left him June 2009 after finding out about the mistress, lies, money and gifts. It was the best thing I've ever done.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    I was seeing a lady not long ago.
    I showed her I was using MFP.
    It said I had logged for 220 days. (yay me!)

    Her response was "what good has that done you?"
    Being a little sensitive about my fat gut. I didn't much care for that statement!

    Come to find out she is on here and has been using the site for a long time.
    So she knew what this site was for......guess what I'm not dating her anymore!!
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
    OHHHH.... that is sooo sad... We all have some issues we need to work on. Don't let that one nasty comment ruin it forever. And I would tell you, to look around that beach and see what other people have on, no can look nice with out looking trashy. They make bathing suits for every size now. I will never be that person at the water park in a shirt and shorts again... never!!!

    GOOD LUCK !!!! and keep up the good work!!

    OH my gosh! The beach! The funny thing is, it seems like the beach is the one place in the world where a person can just relax and let it all hang out. But go ta swimming pool and suddenly there are people with issues! LOL!
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
    I'm so sorry you had to endure this abuse. We should try at all times to love and support. Easier said than done but there is no excuse for this!

    When dealing with issues like this we can apply the following: T H I N K before you speak!

    T - Is it TRUE?

    H - Is it HELPFUL?

    I - Is it INSPIRATIONAL?

    N - Is it NECESSARY?

    K - Is it KIND?

    If you can't answer yes to ALL of these then please SHUT UP!

    Hmmm. I like this. You just gave me a good homeschool lesson for my daughter.
  • msharp23
    msharp23 Posts: 14
    I'm so sorry you had to endure this abuse. We should try at all times to love and support. Easier said than done but there is no excuse for this!

    When dealing with issues like this we can apply the following: T H I N K before you speak!

    T - Is it TRUE?

    H - Is it HELPFUL?

    I - Is it INSPIRATIONAL?

    N - Is it NECESSARY?

    K - Is it KIND?

    If you can't answer yes to ALL of these then please SHUT UP!

    I teach middle school and this going up on my wall before the end of the day today!! Thanks for sharing!
  • PlunderBunneh
    PlunderBunneh Posts: 1,705 Member
    Going in for my yearly "Lady" appointment a few years ago. My wonderfully tactful doctor waits until I'm all gowned up, strapped in, feet up and lights on with her head half a foot from my parts, to tell me that it would be a good idea for me to lose fifty pounds. What the hell kind of timing is that??
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
    Umm. Is it bad that I keep bringing home articles for at home workouts and leave them laying around for my wife - hoping against all hope that she will take the hint? Or that I bring home workout dvd's that she has said look like something she'd do (and then never sticks with them)? Or am I simply being an insensitive azshole? Where do you draw the line? I agree that he was being insensitive, but had he said other, kinder things to you in the past that you disregarded? Is a man (or woman) supposed to just be happy he has a wife, with no concern for what she does to her body or how she looks? Just live with it, shut up, and be happy? I've worked hard to be in better shape, shouldn't she?


    Well, no he had not actually. I wasn't even very much larger than I had ever been. I was running at least three miles every day. I was eating well too. I wasn't the lay around and stuff my face type at all. I'm still not that type. I think there is a way to get a message across without being a jerk even though what needs to be said may still hurt. Tact is all that is needed to deliver the message, love is what is needed to help the hurt feelings someone may have. His being 60 pounds overweight never once led me to treat him poorly. Although maybe he deserved a taste of his own medicine.
  • tordek9
    tordek9 Posts: 7 Member
    A lot of responses on here about her Husband saying she was fat. My GF actually gets mad if I say she looks nice because she is a bit overweight and says me telling her she's fat or she shouldn't eat something helps her.
  • tamrod2
    tamrod2 Posts: 83 Member
    I have had that happen to me..not fitting into seats is so embarassing:embarassed:
  • LoggingForLife
    LoggingForLife Posts: 504 Member
    I feel for ya OP!

    I'm a deer hunter and I was married at the time. So this was Winter 2008. I was 290lbs. Our marriage was in SHAMBLES! (I didn't know he had been with another woman for approx. 6mo at the time - I choose to not believe the signs)

    So we go out to a plowed field to be the "posters" for the people who were "driving" the deer towards us. We brought out those fold out camp chairs and we put them in the plowed field and when I sat down the plastic foot broke. He said "If you weren't so fat, maybe that wouldn't have happened" - I had a 12 guage loaded shotgun in my hands. I stood up out of the chair and my hands were shaking so bad because I knew I had to unload the gun because I was tempted to blow his knees apart.

    I unloaded the gun, got in the truck and left him in the field. I went to a deer stand and cried so hard I thre

    In all my years of being heavy and all my years of being teased nothing compared to that EVER!!!

    I left him June 2009 after finding out about the mistress, lies, money and gifts. It was the best thing I've ever done.

    You have a lot of self control. I might have blown his knee caps off. He's a jerk...good job leaving his sorry *kitten*!
  • tamrod2
    tamrod2 Posts: 83 Member
    Several...but one that stands out is I was in a costco parking lot and a group of guys drove by and yelled Jenny Craig:cry:
  • dym123
    dym123 Posts: 1,670 Member
    mine came while I was getting a pedicure, don't know how this came up, but the tech made a comment about how my weight prevented me from being able to do myself (which was true at the time), but didn't explain why every other chair in the salon will filled with skinny women also getting a pedicure. Suffice it to say, thanks to losing 76lbs and becoming more flexible, I will be doing my own pedicures this summer.
  • cubbies77
    cubbies77 Posts: 607 Member
    Umm. Is it bad that I keep bringing home articles for at home workouts and leave them laying around for my wife - hoping against all hope that she will take the hint? Or that I bring home workout dvd's that she has said look like something she'd do (and then never sticks with them)? Or am I simply being an insensitive azshole? Where do you draw the line? I agree that he was being insensitive, but had he said other, kinder things to you in the past that you disregarded? Is a man (or woman) supposed to just be happy he has a wife, with no concern for what she does to her body or how she looks? Just live with it, shut up, and be happy? I've worked hard to be in better shape, shouldn't she?


    Oh, and this is all hypothetical don't get your panties twisted.

    If your wife has mentioned an interest in working out, then I don't see anything wrong with leaving articles around or buying DVDs for her. My boyfriend bought me a Wii because I expressed interest in playing some of the dancing games, and I thought it was really sweet of him. Doing something like that isn't putting pressure on someone or being judgmental; it's doing something nice for them based on something they mentioned.

    On the other hand, telling someone they look "disgusting" in their swimsuit is really mean. Asking her if she needed a bigger one was also mean. If she needed a bigger one, she'd buy one. Sometimes, my boyfriend and I go to a concert, and he asks for a "Large" t-shirt. I know he probably needs an XL, but I keep my trap shut because first of all, maybe the Large will fit (and sometimes it does), and second of all (and most importantly) it would hurt his feelings.

    The most important thing is how you approach her. If you approach it out of love and concern and acknowledge that she's brought it up and maybe you can help her or workout together, then yes, that's okay. If it's something along the lines of, "You look fat now, so either lose weight or leave. I got myself in shape, so you should too," then that's pretty harsh. It sounds like you're really trying to help her, though. Give it time. It took me a year or so to finally take the first step toward losing weight, and my boyfriend was supportive and loving the entire time, always making sure to focus on my health and how much he worried about me and not how attracted he was or wasn't. He made it more about living a long life together.

Categories