Your most humiliating "fat" experience.
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Going in for my yearly "Lady" appointment a few years ago. My wonderfully tactful doctor waits until I'm all gowned up, strapped in, feet up and lights on with her head half a foot from my parts, to tell me that it would be a good idea for me to lose fifty pounds. What the hell kind of timing is that??
Same thing happened to me last September! My doctor used to not do weigh-in's at the appointments and would instead just take our word for it. Well now everyone has to step on the scale. My weight had gone up so much since the last appointment (or from what I TOLD them my weight was) that she kept asking me if I had a thyroid condition and checked my glands about four times before the appointment was over.0 -
It makes me really sad that someone you love made you feel humiliated. You are so wonderful, and I love reading your posts,etc. I don't want to go on a husband-bashing tirade because I don't know the situation, but I just want to put it out there that is just plain mean and nasty. Very disrespectful.
I have been heavy most of my life, so I have a million humiliating experiences. I think the worst was years ago when I was a junior in high school. I was prom dress shopping at a store called, 'Cache' , and the saleswoman basically asked me to leave the store because they didn't make dresses for people my size (I was an 18 then, and probably a 20-something dress size). She wouldn't even let me touch the gowns. I felt so low. So yeah, don't shop there! They're snobby and mean! hahaha
Though, lately, I can't say that I've payed attention to anything humiliating. I'm older, and at this point in life if people have something nasty to say about my weight, it really doesn't phase me. I accidentally cut some guy off in traffic last year, and he called me a 'fat *****'. I actually laughed and clapped and then said, "Yeah, I'd be more hurt if that came from a guy who actually had all of his teeth! Way to go, stud!" and that shut him up pretty quick. Hahaha I know, totally childish, but boy did it feel awesome!
My whole thought on those blasted snooty shops is "What, my money doesn't spend as good as if I were thin? What If I was here to buy a GIFT for someone? Hope you work on commission, because you just lost out BIG TIME! Oh...and just so we are clear, I have a LOT of friends with money that will also NOT be shopping here when I tell them about your snooty little attitude. OH...right...and what IS your place? I SHOP here, you WORK here to serve ME the customer. Now, What was your name so I can spell it correctly in my letter to corporate?"0 -
I've had a few experiences that have been a bit humiliating. An old co-worker touched my stomach and said "ohhh what is this!!! When are you due" and I looked down and said "thats just my stomach". Similar to another story, this last summer when wearing a bathingsuit in public (family BBQ) my mom looks at me in front of everyone and laughs and says "what, they didn't have a bigger size?" I literally walked away holding back tears. Another one was when I was returning clothes that my mom bought me online for christmas. They were shirts that needed to be one size bigger cuz I got some D cups and they didnt fit lol Well after telling the attendant that I wanted to return them since it was already like 7pm after working a full shift I was tired and didnt want to shop. He looks at me and says "uhhhhh why don't you try other locations, they offer plus sizes". No disrespect to plus sized girls, but I don't wear plus sizes (yet). Needless to say I took down his information and complained. The worst part was that he was a MANAGER.0
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All I can think is, you married this man why?
This.
I mean, what the hell? Really? Who in their right mind yells at their girlfriend and tells her she's "Disgusting"? And then for you to Marry that man..?
He must be a really amazing person deep-down for THAT to be forgivable.0 -
I was taking a sign language class at the local community college. We had a party at the end of it. I overheard two guys talking. One said,"My wife kept talking about this Richard guy in class (me) and I got really jealous. Then I met him and saw how fat he was & I knew there was no reason to be". I obsessed about that for a looong time.
Some girls like bigger guys He should be a little more concerned with his wife's wondering eye and WHY its wondering lol 0 -
I feel so bad your husband said those things to you. I am so Blessed as my husband is very supportive. We have been married 28 years and over the years I have gained over 100 pounds. He tells me he loves me and just wants me to be happy. When I try to lost he is my best fan and when I failed he never made me feel like a failure. After lots of different diets this last year I had the lap band done. He is right there making what he thinks I can eat.
This experience that sticks in my mind is when I was in the 5th grade. We lived in a small town and it was a country school with four rooms, two grades in each class. At the start of the year the weighed everyone and posted this on the wall in the main hallway. I remember I was 210 pounds. Everyday I walked by there I felt it was in big BLOCK letters. I have been heavy as long as I can remember.
Remember you are a good person and have alot to offer.0 -
Cruel remarks don't motivate me. They mostly make feel like cutting a *****.
Friends or loved ones who would say those things would be out of my life so fast their heads would spin. I don't need anyone tearing me down so I can build myself back up.0 -
This thread is kinda depressing isn't it? I posted earlier and I'm just so sad (I know I'm a rose colored glasses kinda gal) that people can be so cruel to the people they supposedly love. What have we become.....ugh! SAD!0
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Whenever I gain weight, my mom always says "WOW, you sure are gaining weight" (mostly in my younger years when I was bigger). To this day, I always insist on her not getting me clothes because she always says, "what size should I get you? XL? 12 jeans." Even when I was in shape she'd say this.0
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This thread is kinda depressing isn't it? I posted earlier and I'm just so sad (I know I'm a rose colored glasses kinda gal) that people can be so cruel to the people they supposedly love. What have we become.....ugh! SAD!
My thoughts exactly...0 -
I'm 5'7" - 5'8" and weighed around 156 lbs at the time and wearing those stupid shirts that kind of flare out right under the boobs (empire waist?? Not a good combo with a pre-existing gut) Anyhoo, my boyfriend (now husband) and I were in NYC at a museum and decided to get a glass of wine at one of the eateries in there. The guy at the counter was like "waitaminute...aren't you pregnant?" I was mortified. I started to cry right there. In hindsight, I'm glad he said that, because that's when I realized I was letting myself go. That was the highest weight ever, and I gained 20lbs of it in a year or so. I changed up my lifestyle right after that!0
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Sophomore year of college. In the car with my first serious boyfriend and his two nephews in the back seat. One of them just says "Lisa, you are fat." He had to be about 10 years old. I know kids don't have a filter, but it HURT. Boyfriend didn't sy anything to him. I think he was hoping I just didn't hear. I am friends with this ex bf on Facebook and sometimes see that his nephew posts things to him and I can't help but relive that awful comment and just still hate this kid (though not a kid anymore as he must be in his early 30s) a little bit. I just can't forget it even though it is certainly not the only time in my life I have been called fat by someone.
Sad part is that I was 5'9" and about 170 which is my goal right now. I would love to be there again already! What would this kid have said if he saw me at my worst a year ago??? Ugh.0 -
9th grade. Waiting in the school hallway for the classroom door to be opened. David Tweed said to me (yes it was over 15 years ago but I still remember his name), really loudly, "You're the only fat chick I've ever seen who doesn't have any boobs!" I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me.0
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I don't get it. I always felt that a Woman's beauty comes from her essence, her personality. I've spent time with some gorgeous plus-sized women and it never would have crossed my mind to comment on their weight.
My most humiliating experience happened last year, I met up with an old friend I hadn't seen in years for a few drinks. His jaw dropped when he saw me "Jesus Christ what the **** happened to you?" He shouted. I had gained a lot of weight and I knew my buddy was a tactless chump so I was expecting something like this. What I wasn't expecting was for my weight gain to become the main issue of the evening. Every time I changed the subject he would bring it back round to how huge I'd got.
It made me feel really bad. Not long after this I discovered this site and in 6 months I've lost 70 pounds, with 30 left to lose.
What really griped me is that back in the day when we used to hang out, I was in great shape and he was overweight. Not once did I ever comment on his weight.
I'm hoping that, unlike my friend and The OP's husband, my experiences being overweight will have taught me humility and sensitivity.0 -
the worst?
6 years old
(yes, 6)
partway through grade two, the school decided I should be moved ahead early into grade three, so 1/2 way through the year I was moved ahead.
First day, walking into grade 3 classroom, already feeling very awkward as these kids had all been together 1/2 a year already and i didn't know them, plus I was a year younger than them, teacher pointed me to a desk near front of the room.
Even at that age i knew I was very fat so already extremely selfconscious, I sat on the chair, everyone watching the fat kid.
Chair broke as I sat down... pieces of chair and fat kid collapse on the floor in front of entire class.
Because school uniform was a dress, I was doubly embarassed because of course the skirt flew up showing my panties
Amidst the uncontrolled laughter, at my expense, I did not even have the luxury of running from the room in tears as i knew, even at that age, everyone would laugh even harder.
Even now, at 56, I can feel my face getting red just thinking about it as if it had just happened.
Yup... fat all my life, from birth.
Thank heavens for mfp helping me keep my act together FINALLY!0 -
This thread is kinda depressing isn't it? I posted earlier and I'm just so sad (I know I'm a rose colored glasses kinda gal) that people can be so cruel to the people they supposedly love. What have we become.....ugh! SAD!
Perhaps someone who is that unsupportive, rude, or insensitive person will read this stuff and maybe, JUST maybe think before they speak in the future.0 -
This thread is kinda depressing isn't it? I posted earlier and I'm just so sad (I know I'm a rose colored glasses kinda gal) that people can be so cruel to the people they supposedly love. What have we become.....ugh! SAD!
Perhaps someone who is that unsupportive, rude, or insensitive person will read this stuff and maybe, JUST maybe think before they speak in the future.
Perhaps! 0 -
A year and a half ago and 40 pounds heavier I went to go try on a Halloween costume and I asked for a size large. The little A-hole working there said, "Are you sure? You know we carry those in plus sizes." While he laughed with his friends. I was so embarrassed!0
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I have never liked to share how much I weigh with people around me, meaning the actual number on the scale. It's no shocker that I'm overweight, you can see it by looking at me. But for some insecure reason I keep the number private.
In my first semester of nursing school, in a group of about 10 students, we all had to practice weighing each other. I had to stand on one of the old school scales, the kind that has the metal tabs that clank loudly when you slide them, and get weighed repeatedly by various classmates. At the time I weighed probably 80lbs more than anyone else in the class. Humiliating.0 -
i hated that for the opposite reason.I have never liked to share how much I weigh with people around me, meaning the actual number on the scale. It's no shocker that I'm overweight, you can see it by looking at me. But for some insecure reason I keep the number private.
In my first semester of nursing school, in a group of about 10 students, we all had to practice weighing each other. I had to stand on one of the old school scales, the kind that has the metal tabs that clank loudly when you slide them, and get weighed repeatedly by various classmates. At the time I weighed probably 80lbs more than anyone else in the class. Humiliating.
weighing in the classroom sucks bigtime.0 -
no offense but what an *kitten* there are a lot better ways to tell some one that they need to hit the guy or get a better bathing suit dont let something like that stop you from swimming! swimming is actually one of the best exercises that you could end up getting because it literally works every muscle in your body. but i commend you on how well you've done.keep up the good work and remember if your doing the best you can don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise!:bigsmile:0
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Thankfully, I have never had anyone say something cruel to me about my weight, broken a chair or been asked if I'm pregnant, though I've lived in fear of all those things. My humiliations were always kind of quiet ones. Embarrassed when I couldn't keep up with others, not being able to fasten my seatbelt on a plane, but being too mortified to ask for an extender, sweating like crazy just standing still, being so wedged in a booth I could hardly breathe, seeing a horrific picture of myself and having someone say it was a "good one" of me, or avoiding doing things with others because I knew the weight wouldn't let me.
If anything, I avoided much of life to keep from having embarrassing experiences, which is sad all on its own. Having lost most of the weight, it's made me realize what a hermit I've become. So now I'm on to the fun but very scary part - learning to actually live my life without the hinderance of a weight problem. Better late than never, I suppose!0 -
jesus people are so cruel! keep running your doing greatI've had so many.... people are cruel.
I had one a few months ago...while out running I got yelled at by a passing car. "Keep Running Fat *kitten*" I still feel horrible inside when I think about this situation.0 -
mmm i had a real *kitten* for an ex husband so i completely understand.( divorced me over face book while i way away in a different country for work,said i hadn't earned respect after i waited for him for two years to get out of prison etc) the best way to keep pushing yourself when you feel low is by thinking how GD AWESOME YOU ARE and how DARE anyone talk to you like that. your better than that and your better than they ever deserved and instead of wallowing kick butt at your work out and take some time to do the things you love with just as much intensity. At the end of the day look back and let yourself enjoy how much butt you kicked and just how amazing you really are and what a dumbass they are. lol works for me on bad day, days i had to deal with my ex etc.!I always try to find ways to help this man understand. He is like talking to a wall. He seems like an emotionless hole sometimes. Of course he wasn't always like that. He said that in the beginning when a guy wants sex, he will do anything he needs to do to get it on a regular basis. What?! I figured as much. In hind sight I wonder why I was ever so blind. But it is what it is now. This is what happens when we believe in our heart that someone is really good underneath and that they deserve a chance.
I guess to answer my own question, I do find that memories such as this do hold me back at times. I don't dwell on the bad stuff, but sometimes I am reminded when I see a certain picture or read or hear a certain comment. Letting go of hurt feelings is something I need to work on in my own life. Not just for my health, but for my happiness.0 -
I think the most embarrassing moment I had was when a guy at my work heard me talking to my dietitian and told me that i was fat because i was eating to many f**ing hamburgers and milkshakes and no wonder i was on the chuncky monkey list. truthfully i felt like crying but losing my temper was just a bit more satisfying especially when i threw my diet log in front of him and then asked if he ate as well or exercised as much as i did( i was on a 1600 calorie diet working out 10x a week for about 8 months didnt help much because i had stomach problems and i'm 6 feet tall so it literally made my body go into survival mode) his face turned a very interesting shade of purple and he stomped out of the office. satisfying but still semi hurtful0
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I can't really choose a most embarrassing moment because I feel like every moment is embarrassing. I feel like the worst times were probably in high school because teenagers can be such jerks. I was called "the fat cheerleader" when anyone referred to me. That was extremely hurtful and I ended up only cheering two seasons because of it.0
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OMG. Never ever say you are not attractive just because you have gained some weight! You are beautiful and you need to be positive!All I can think is, you married this man why?
I often ask myself the same question. Too often in fact.
I know that being the weight I am Im not an attractive woman at all, but if my hubby EVER said anything so mean and disrespectful I would not put up with it. Your partner should stand by you and if he noticed you had gained weight should have come to you in private and just said so in a normal, nice way out of concern rather than supificial reasons.0 -
My ex used to ask me "Are you really going to eat that? You better be planning to hit the gym hard later." right in front of waiters whenever he would take me out to dinner. It would make me flush with embarrassment for dating such a jerk, and it made me feel terrible about myself.
He did this from the time I began actively trying to lose weight, never letting up on me - even after I had lost 60 pounds, and was technically considered underweight.0 -
We all surely have some experience related to out weight that lingers in our minds. I wouldn't say I was even fat when this happened. I am 5'3", at the time I weighed 145 pounds. I was in the process of losing weight I gained from quitting smoking. Anyhoo, we were talking about going to the beach. My now husband, then boyfriend, made the remark that I should get a bigger swim suit. I was wondering what was wrong with the one I had. I asked him what he meant and why he said that. He would never really clarify. Finally he just yelled at me that I look disgusting in my swim suit. Needless to say, I haven't put on a swim suit since. I actually bought one last year, but I could never bring myself to wear the thing.
When you look back on these things do they motivate you? Do you feel a sense of hopelessness that drives you to failure over and over?
Oh my god!! What a jerk. You post has actually made me angry. How dare he speak to you like that and make you feel humiliated!! I would have hit my partner if he did anything like that to me.
Anyway... my most humiliating fat moment is wearing those slimming pant things to a wedding (with an overnight stop) this was the first time that me and my partner slept in the same bed together and well I forgot I was wearing them. I got changed for bed and I was so embarrased. He was not bothered and 2 1/2 years later we are still together and now I dont even bother with the big pants!!0 -
Anyhoo, we were talking about going to the beach. My now husband, then boyfriend, made the remark that I should get a bigger swim suit. I was wondering what was wrong with the one I had. I asked him what he meant and why he said that. He would never really clarify.
I get the feeling there was a whole annoying argument, where you would not let the topic drop, that occurred at this point.Finally he just yelled at me that I look disgusting in my swim suit.
I wasn't there. But this seems like it was written to put him in a bad light.
Maybe he was trying to, with some candor, protect you from the humiliation of going to the beach in a very unflattering swimsuit? Then instead of simply taking the advice (or ignoring it), from someone you love - you sound like you badger him and start a fight until he lashed out.
What exactly did he need to clarify? If he suggested that you needed a bigger suit - it's obviously because this one, in his opinion, was too small and not flattering.
We see, a couple pages later, that this sort of advice is not considered universally inappropriate.Why my husband didn't tell me NOT to wear a 2 piece bathing suit is beyond me.
For me, If I look like crap in my clothes - I _EXPECT_ my loved ones to point this out to me.0
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