Online Dating, Yay or Nay

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Replies

  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    Is this really true? (I mean, obviously 10,000 is an exaggeration, but the concept). I'm a woman on an online dating site, I do NOT get many messages, and I send out quite a bit and then don't get any response. A single guy friend of mine seems to agree with you, that girls get tons and tons of messages . . . where did you guys hear this?? From women, or is it just what you're presuming?? thanks.

    I posted the same thing a couple pages back, but no one ever believes me so it's good to hear another woman with the same issue. A guy friend of mine got into a heated debate with me over it saying something must be wrong with my profile, so I brought it up and he said it looked good. So I've taken it to mean I'm just defective and not worthy. And there goes my self-esteem again...
  • kayteebeex
    kayteebeex Posts: 6 Member
    Is this really true? (I mean, obviously 10,000 is an exaggeration, but the concept). I'm a woman on an online dating site, I do NOT get many messages, and I send out quite a bit and then don't get any response. A single guy friend of mine seems to agree with you, that girls get tons and tons of messages . . . where did you guys hear this?? From women, or is it just what you're presuming?? thanks.

    I posted the same thing a couple pages back, but no one ever believes me so it's good to hear another woman with the same issue. A guy friend of mine got into a heated debate with me over it saying something must be wrong with my profile, so I brought it up and he said it looked good. So I've taken it to mean I'm just defective and not worthy. And there goes my self-esteem again...

    haha I am SURE you are NOT defective and unworthy! I think the guys are just talking out of their *kitten* and somehow it makes them feel better to think the online dating world is harder for them . . .
  • kayteebeex
    kayteebeex Posts: 6 Member
    So I recently received some very sound advice from a friend of mine. They suggested that I should start looking at dating NOW during this process that way I can weed out the ones who like me for me and not for my being skinny when I reach my goal. The only problem with this is how the fracking heck do you meet people? I mean seriously? I work, and I go work out with a friend but I don't go out. I refuse to date anyone at my job because... well... if you were at my job you would understand. So that leaves what? Online dating? Where would I go outside of online dating?

    Needless to say I am currently accepting advice from the world of MFP... please rain your wisdom upon me!!!

    My advice is online dating in additon to doing the things you love through www.meetup.com It's not a dating site but you will meet people (including guys!) and there are groups on there just for singles. Just type in any hobby and local groups doing just that will pop up. You'll get to enjoy your hobbies/interests and make friends and possibly boyfriends.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    Is this really true? (I mean, obviously 10,000 is an exaggeration, but the concept). I'm a woman on an online dating site, I do NOT get many messages, and I send out quite a bit and then don't get any response. A single guy friend of mine seems to agree with you, that girls get tons and tons of messages . . . where did you guys hear this?? From women, or is it just what you're presuming?? thanks.

    I posted the same thing a couple pages back, but no one ever believes me so it's good to hear another woman with the same issue. A guy friend of mine got into a heated debate with me over it saying something must be wrong with my profile, so I brought it up and he said it looked good. So I've taken it to mean I'm just defective and not worthy. And there goes my self-esteem again...

    haha I am SURE you are NOT defective and unworthy! I think the guys are just talking out of their *kitten* and somehow it makes them feel better to think the online dating world is harder for them . . .

    Haha thanks. I do wonder about that. All the rejection is horrible, though. Definitely wound up setting me back, so I quit trying the online dating thing and will probably never go back to it.
  • LeonorMG
    LeonorMG Posts: 93
    Nay.. Only if we have friends in common, but again, I'm only 18...
  • blisser99
    blisser99 Posts: 122 Member
    My sister in law met her husband on Plenty Of Fish. He is a really great guy. She is on MFP as well. They seem so perfect for one another. It can work out if you put in the effort. Just remember to be careful. Best of luck to you.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    Online dating for men: Send out 10,000 letters. Get one response.

    Online dating for women: Receive 10,000 letters. Respond to only hottest guys.


    Is this really true? (I mean, obviously 10,000 is an exaggeration, but the concept). I'm a woman on an online dating site, I do NOT get many messages, and I send out quite a bit and then don't get any response. A single guy friend of mine seems to agree with you, that girls get tons and tons of messages . . . where did you guys hear this?? From women, or is it just what you're presuming?? thanks.

    Every woman I talk to says the same thing. It goes something like this:

    'Oh my God...! This site is EXHAUSTING!! I'm thinking of deleting it because it's so overwhelming!!'

    Here's a few quotes from the OP and another woman on this thread alone:
    Soooooooooooo I took advice and made an account on POF.... Yeah... This whole online dating this is fricking overwhelming. It's been like.... 10 minutes and I have 10 messages!!! Ahhh!!!! Stressing me out man!!!
    As far as common courtesy - women get like 100 messages a day in the beginning, I have a job, I don't have time to be courteous to all those people, especialy the ones who just cut and paste messages. Moreover, the few times that men have taken the time to write nice thoughtful messages and I wasn't interested, I have written them back nicely and let them know, but 9 times out of 10 the response is something like - but why? come on give me a chance, let me send you some more pics, I can change. Or the always appreciated - well fine I didn't want to talk to you anyway! If men could graciously accept a nice "rejection," I might write back to those I wasn't interested in - but that isn't the case, so I write back to those I'm interested in, and thats it.

    *shrug*...I dunno, like I said, I got very very few messages, and only a handful more replies to my messages if that. Most of my female friends here on MFP say 'That's insane!! I'd totally message you if you were within ten thousand miles of me!!' lol. But the fact remained that I didn't get very many messages or replies...soooooo!...who knows? Maybe it's a regional thing =p.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    Every woman I talk to says the same thing. It goes something like this:

    'Oh my God...! This site is EXHAUSTING!! I'm thinking of deleting it because it's so overwhelming!!'

    Here's a few quotes from the OP and another woman on this thread alone:

    So yep, it's confirmed. Damn, I shouldn't have opened this thread. Was feeling really good today.
  • shorty458
    shorty458 Posts: 163 Member
    People can meet people anywhere. An old co-worker of mine actually met her husband at a bus stop! I met my husband online, except for I wasn't looking for anything. It was back in 2000 and we were in a local chat room on AOL. We talked just as friends for 9 months, we met, and were friends for a little while, and that turned into love. :)
  • Cre8veLifeR
    Cre8veLifeR Posts: 1,062 Member
    I met my hubby on e-harmony. He's my best friend, makes me laugh, is supportive and fun and we have everything in common. We have lots of passion for each other even still! I'm all for it!
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    Every woman I talk to says the same thing. It goes something like this:

    'Oh my God...! This site is EXHAUSTING!! I'm thinking of deleting it because it's so overwhelming!!'

    Here's a few quotes from the OP and another woman on this thread alone:

    So yep, it's confirmed. Damn, I shouldn't have opened this thread. Was feeling really good today.

    If you're defective, so am I.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    Every woman I talk to says the same thing. It goes something like this:

    'Oh my God...! This site is EXHAUSTING!! I'm thinking of deleting it because it's so overwhelming!!'

    Here's a few quotes from the OP and another woman on this thread alone:

    So yep, it's confirmed. Damn, I shouldn't have opened this thread. Was feeling really good today.

    If you're defective, so am I.

    But guys apparently get few messages and girls get a *kitten* ton. I'm a girl who got, like, four messages in four months despite being active on various sites.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    Who knows at this point.
    I haven't been able to bait at all.
    Im trying, and It all feels pointless.
    Someone will come along, Its early in the process
  • Kristinemomof3
    Kristinemomof3 Posts: 636 Member
    I met my hubby online too. We'll be married 18 years this summer.
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member

    But guys apparently get few messages and girls get a *kitten* ton. I'm a girl who got, like, four messages in four months despite being active on various sites.

    Maybe post your profile here so people can help you revamp it? Take some new pics?

    It might be your location, Charlottesville is small and I think most people search within a short distance of where they live. I'm in DC so lots of people here = lots of people online = lots of messages. Don't get down on yourself about it!
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    Every woman I talk to says the same thing. It goes something like this:

    'Oh my God...! This site is EXHAUSTING!! I'm thinking of deleting it because it's so overwhelming!!'

    Here's a few quotes from the OP and another woman on this thread alone:

    So yep, it's confirmed. Damn, I shouldn't have opened this thread. Was feeling really good today.

    If you're defective, so am I.

    But guys apparently get few messages and girls get a *kitten* ton. I'm a girl who got, like, four messages in four months despite being active on various sites.

    I have guy friends that get tons...yet I get almost none.

    It is what it is...letting something like that determine how you feel about yourself is a really poorly chosen path. I've been single two years now, excepting the few short episodes I listed earlier in this thread. I've had total *kitten* friends go through ten girls I'd have happily dated in that same time period. I could misconstrue this to mean something is wrong with me, I'm ugly, I'm a horrible person, or any of a dozen other reasons that stem from who I am. I don't really think that's it though, and the last thing in the world I'd do...is let it effect my self worth.

    You shouldn't either!!
  • gerard54
    gerard54 Posts: 1,107 Member
    I'll date a computer...
  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
    I met my husband online. We've been together over five years and married for more than three. I say go for it!
  • JennW130
    JennW130 Posts: 460 Member
    I met my husband online. I wasn't looking for anybody at the time either, and he was looking for some ummm fun when he took leave and came back to TX! lol! We've been married for 6 yrs now.
  • Rebirth08
    Rebirth08 Posts: 174 Member
    If you are comfortable with doing it, go for it...many people who go online would not otherwise meet anyone good for them; and there is nothing bad about online dating. You get to see just how many people in the world are just like you. I put up a profile here and there, but it's not for me. I like random - even if I did meet someone online, it would have to be random. For example, I have a friend who lives in Ghana who I have been talking with for a good 5 years, and we randomly met through Myspace, LOL.
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
    Is this really true? (I mean, obviously 10,000 is an exaggeration, but the concept). I'm a woman on an online dating site, I do NOT get many messages, and I send out quite a bit and then don't get any response. A single guy friend of mine seems to agree with you, that girls get tons and tons of messages . . . where did you guys hear this?? From women, or is it just what you're presuming?? thanks.

    I posted the same thing a couple pages back, but no one ever believes me so it's good to hear another woman with the same issue. A guy friend of mine got into a heated debate with me over it saying something must be wrong with my profile, so I brought it up and he said it looked good. So I've taken it to mean I'm just defective and not worthy. And there goes my self-esteem again...

    haha I am SURE you are NOT defective and unworthy! I think the guys are just talking out of their *kitten* and somehow it makes them feel better to think the online dating world is harder for them . . .

    I also wonder.... I get very few responses to my add or to my winks/emails to men.
    I thought losing weight may help from a 'shallow' perspective, but nah still no response.

    ETA: I certainly didn't lose weight to attract men via online dating, just an observation as I have lost most of my weight while on the dating scene.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Anyone else like burgers?
  • EricMurano
    EricMurano Posts: 825 Member
    So I recently received some very sound advice from a friend of mine. They suggested that I should start looking at dating NOW during this process that way I can weed out the ones who like me for me and not for my being skinny when I reach my goal. The only problem with this is how the fracking heck do you meet people? I mean seriously? I work, and I go work out with a friend but I don't go out. I refuse to date anyone at my job because... well... if you were at my job you would understand. So that leaves what? Online dating? Where would I go outside of online dating?

    Needless to say I am currently accepting advice from the world of MFP... please rain your wisdom upon me!!!

    I think you should start internet dating (well, dating in general) NOW because you're a pretty and attractive girl NOW. I looked at the photos in your profile and you're good looking.

    As for "how do you meet people?" - just be open to meeting people and do things outside of the house. Get more real-life social. Internet dating is a good way to meet potential mates but you have to be meet a lot of people and you have to 'filter' a lot. Do not get discouraged when you don't meet mr (or miss?) Right for the first few months or even years. Just keep meeting people that look like they could be a good fit and decide early on whether you want to see them again.

    Be 'picky' but not so much that you have unrealistic expectations. Everyone has things about them that you won't like. It's a hard line to draw but you will find the balance when deciding who to accept and who to disconnect with.
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
    Every woman I talk to says the same thing. It goes something like this:

    'Oh my God...! This site is EXHAUSTING!! I'm thinking of deleting it because it's so overwhelming!!'

    Here's a few quotes from the OP and another woman on this thread alone:

    So yep, it's confirmed. Damn, I shouldn't have opened this thread. Was feeling really good today.

    If you're defective, so am I.

    But guys apparently get few messages and girls get a *kitten* ton. I'm a girl who got, like, four messages in four months despite being active on various sites.

    I have guy friends that get tons...yet I get almost none.

    It is what it is...letting something like that determine how you feel about yourself is a really poorly chosen path. I've been single two years now, excepting the few short episodes I listed earlier in this thread. I've had total *kitten* friends go through ten girls I'd have happily dated in that same time period. I could misconstrue this to mean something is wrong with me, I'm ugly, I'm a horrible person, or any of a dozen other reasons that stem from who I am. I don't really think that's it though, and the last thing in the world I'd do...is let it effect my self worth.

    You shouldn't either!!

    Differences aside from the Body Pump thread, I think the problem with people feeling that way about you on MFP is becuase they have gotten to know you here... they know your healthy liftstyle, what makes you tick, how you can motivate, your interests blah blah... online dating you get a one shot deal, you don't get the friendships you have formed here. MFP should be a dating site :)
  • dragonz11
    dragonz11 Posts: 57 Member
    my partner and I meet online on vodafone chat and have bin together almost 10yrs this yr :0)
  • toddis
    toddis Posts: 941 Member
    If you are wary of online dating you can always try things like Meetup.com and find groups with people of similar interests. Goofy community college courses like russian baking or grass basket weaving or whatever your interest is...etc.

    As far as women getting more messages than men...well...Many of those messages aren't exactly for promising relationships.

    As far as doing it now prior to losing weight...that's a personal choice. Would you select a man in the same position as you?
  • seanezekiel
    seanezekiel Posts: 228 Member
    Go to a bar and get sloshed.

    Someone will leave with you, no matter your weight.

    Sad
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    Is this really true? (I mean, obviously 10,000 is an exaggeration, but the concept). I'm a woman on an online dating site, I do NOT get many messages, and I send out quite a bit and then don't get any response. A single guy friend of mine seems to agree with you, that girls get tons and tons of messages . . . where did you guys hear this?? From women, or is it just what you're presuming?? thanks.

    I posted the same thing a couple pages back, but no one ever believes me so it's good to hear another woman with the same issue. A guy friend of mine got into a heated debate with me over it saying something must be wrong with my profile, so I brought it up and he said it looked good. So I've taken it to mean I'm just defective and not worthy. And there goes my self-esteem again...

    haha I am SURE you are NOT defective and unworthy! I think the guys are just talking out of their *kitten* and somehow it makes them feel better to think the online dating world is harder for them . . .

    I also wonder.... I get very few responses to my add or to my winks/emails to men.
    I thought losing weight may help from a 'shallow' perspective, but nah still no response.

    ETA: I certainly didn't lose weight to attract men via online dating, just an observation as I have lost most of my weight while on the dating scene.

    I don't see why anyone wouldn't reply to you, to be honest.

    I wish you luck...dating in general sucks. Online dating can be both better, and worse.

    But it still sucks lol.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Dating sites are too much pressure. Plus it tends to attract creepers and emotionally unstable people.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    Every woman I talk to says the same thing. It goes something like this:

    'Oh my God...! This site is EXHAUSTING!! I'm thinking of deleting it because it's so overwhelming!!'

    Here's a few quotes from the OP and another woman on this thread alone:

    So yep, it's confirmed. Damn, I shouldn't have opened this thread. Was feeling really good today.

    If you're defective, so am I.

    But guys apparently get few messages and girls get a *kitten* ton. I'm a girl who got, like, four messages in four months despite being active on various sites.

    I have guy friends that get tons...yet I get almost none.

    It is what it is...letting something like that determine how you feel about yourself is a really poorly chosen path. I've been single two years now, excepting the few short episodes I listed earlier in this thread. I've had total *kitten* friends go through ten girls I'd have happily dated in that same time period. I could misconstrue this to mean something is wrong with me, I'm ugly, I'm a horrible person, or any of a dozen other reasons that stem from who I am. I don't really think that's it though, and the last thing in the world I'd do...is let it effect my self worth.

    You shouldn't either!!

    Differences aside from the Body Pump thread, I think the problem with people feeling that way about you on MFP is becuase they have gotten to know you here... they know your healthy liftstyle, what makes you tick, how you can motivate, your interests blah blah... online dating you get a one shot deal, you don't get the friendships you have formed here. MFP should be a dating site :)

    I'm no different in my day to day life than I am here. Matter of fact, I'm no different anywhere on the internet lol. My screen name here is my screen name pretty much everywhere...for a reason. You mentioned the body pump thread...which is kind of funny, because threads like those are pretty much why I have the friends I do have on MFP lol. Kinda ironic to be honest.

    I do agree about MFP being a dating site though, and it pretty much is in a very large way. Sooooo many people have met their husbands and wives here, it's great :).

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