Why do people say men and women can't be platonic friends?

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Replies

  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    Just doing a bit of reading in my down time at work, and came across a "study" apparently proving that men and women cannot be just friends. But it doesn't actually suggest that men and women can’t be friends; nor does it seem it was ever the researchers’ objective to prove it.

    I don't understand this collection of sentences together.

    So there is a study a third party is proclaiming to prove that men and women cannot be friends even though the study doesn't suggest that and that wasn't the goal of the study? or are the people who did the study proclaiming it?
  • Rosplosion
    Rosplosion Posts: 739 Member
    It really depends on how the two individuals deal with any sexual attraction/tension that may arise. I am not good at dealing with it in an ethical manner given that I'm married. I'd have to agree that men and women don't generally make good platonic friends unless they're enjoying the said tension/attraction and can deal with it in a way that both are comfortanle with.
  • Maribel_1986
    Maribel_1986 Posts: 457 Member
    I can be friends with women.

    If they're attractive I'll probably want to sleep with them.

    If they're not attractive then I probably won't.

    I just assumed that's how it works for you ladies as well . . .

    That's EXACTLY how it works for us!!!

    I completely agree with you
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    You can not have a man friend as a platonic friend.

    If you have a friend there is a reason for it and male/female is because of an attraction/physical/sexual

    If female/female it is because of empathy/attraction/physical/envy and sometimes sexual.

    This is the short version
    ...........


    Negative, ghost rider.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    Just doing a bit of reading in my down time at work, and came across a "study" apparently proving that men and women cannot be just friends. But it doesn't actually suggest that men and women can’t be friends; nor does it seem it was ever the researchers’ objective to prove it. It looks like they set out to show that experiences reflect men’s short-term sexual desires relative to women’s - which is something rather different. I would like to get opinions from both men and women on this.

    In my opinion, I do think that men and women can sustain a platonic relationship. There may be some attraction, but that doesn't mean that they are unable to maintain fulfilling and non-sexual relationships. Friendship itself can vary from person to person, incorporating everything from a best friend since grade school to someone you once drunkenly kissed at a party. Sexual attraction may add an extra dynamic to friendships between men and women, and could also lead to occasional problems. But stop to think... seeing it as some sort of friendship ultimatum would make for a lot of lonely people.

    Again, I'm just looking for personal opinions.

    I have a lot of male friends. And we're not sexually attracted to each other.
  • TimFranklin423
    TimFranklin423 Posts: 26 Member
    Ehh... It's a hard one. Honestly though, I've noticed that 90% of the ones who actually believe that men and women can be platonic friends are Women. Men, for the most part, know the truth. We know how we think, and we know just how very little it takes to completely change the way we look at a woman "friend." It may just be something as silly or simple as the way that she smiled or said something that day that completely changes the way you see her from then on out, even if we originally did not find them attractive. Sorry ladies..blame the testosterone.

    Women on the other hand seem to have no problem, for the most part, being strictly friends with a man. I won't sit here an act like I, or any other man, will ever understand the female psyche, but I would say it is exponentially easier for a woman to remain having strictly platonic feelings for a male friend.

    Just my 2 cents.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    That's nonsense. Men and women can be friends. They have to be first. How else are they gonna get close enough to unzip one anothers pants. *smh*
  • samanthajade124
    samanthajade124 Posts: 217 Member
    You can not have a man friend as a platonic friend.

    If you have a friend there is a reason for it and male/female is because of an attraction/physical/sexual

    If female/female it is because of empathy/attraction/physical/envy and sometimes sexual.

    This is the short version

    It's apparent to me that maybe some of you just haven't found a person that truly GETS you. Not one that wants to sleep with you, but just understands who you are. This type of person can be male or female.
  • Tuffjourney
    Tuffjourney Posts: 971
    Marriage and platonic friendship, aren't they the same thing?:huh:
  • BlackStarDeceiver
    BlackStarDeceiver Posts: 590 Member
    I can be friends with women.

    If they're attractive I'll probably want to sleep with them.

    If they're not attractive then I probably won't.

    I just assumed that's how it works for you ladies as well . . .

    ^this
  • phoximom
    phoximom Posts: 365 Member
    That's nonsense. Men and women can be friends. They have to be first. How else are they gonna get close enough to unzip one anothers pants. *smh*

    ha ha well said!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I can be friends with women.

    If they're attractive I'll probably want to sleep with them.

    If they're not attractive then I probably won't.

    I just assumed that's how it works for you ladies as well . . .

    That's EXACTLY how it works for us!!!

    I completely agree with you

    So in summation, if you've been friends with lots of people of the opposite sex for a long time, it means you're unattractive. The end.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    You can not have a man friend as a platonic friend.

    If you have a friend there is a reason for it and male/female is because of an attraction/physical/sexual

    If female/female it is because of empathy/attraction/physical/envy and sometimes sexual.

    This is the short version

    You're right, I just wanna bang everyone.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    That's nonsense. Men and women can be friends. They have to be first. How else are they gonna get close enough to unzip one anothers pants. *smh*

    copious amounts of alcohol.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    I have lots of guy friends and they don't want to sleep with me. They made that very clear. Painfully clear. :cry:

    jlawstroke_zpse2c4552e.gif
  • selina884
    selina884 Posts: 826 Member
    Ofcourse they can, so long as its platonic on the female side. ;)
  • VoodooLuLu
    VoodooLuLu Posts: 636 Member
    that's bull I have a lot of male friends and we are really just friends and have been for years!!!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Ehh... It's a hard one. Honestly though, I've noticed that 90% of the ones who actually believe that men and women can be platonic friends are Women. Men, for the most part, know the truth. We know how we think, and we know just how very little it takes to completely change the way we look at a woman "friend." It may just be something as silly or simple as the way that she smiled or said something that day that completely changes the way you see her from then on out, even if we originally did not find them attractive. Sorry ladies..blame the testosterone.

    Women on the other hand seem to have no problem, for the most part, being strictly friends with a man. I won't sit here an act like I, or any other man, will ever understand the female psyche, but I would say it is exponentially easier for a woman to remain having strictly platonic feelings for a male friend.

    Just my 2 cents.

    Heh, he said hard one. And I beleive you tho' you don't have to start saying "honestly". reminds me of that song which is propably apropo here. "when i think about you...lalala....i honestly do". lalalaa.
  • lydia_the_tattooed_lady
    lydia_the_tattooed_lady Posts: 324 Member
    I live with my best guy friend and I have bunches of guys friends. We are both straight and completely unattracted to each other----we just end up telling people that we're cousins so we don't get questioned about it ahahaha We've known each other since we were 10 so he's like my brother.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    OP has never heard of...

    friend-zoned-dating-friendship-demotivational-posters-1348629835.jpg
  • matt2442
    matt2442 Posts: 1,259 Member
    I want to bang everyone on my fl...it shouldn't even be called a friends list, just Matt's bang list. I see where this question is coming from
  • samanthajade124
    samanthajade124 Posts: 217 Member
    Just doing a bit of reading in my down time at work, and came across a "study" apparently proving that men and women cannot be just friends. But it doesn't actually suggest that men and women can’t be friends; nor does it seem it was ever the researchers’ objective to prove it.

    I don't understand this collection of sentences together.

    So there is a study a third party is proclaiming to prove that men and women cannot be friends even though the study doesn't suggest that and that wasn't the goal of the study? or are the people who did the study proclaiming it?

    My apologies. The research in question looked at cross-sex friendships through the perspective of evolutionary psychology.

    They posed questions to individuals in opposite-sex friendships and found that men were more likely to be attracted to their female friends than women were to their male friends, and that men also overestimated their own attractiveness to friends of the opposite sex. A second study then found that most people considered physical attraction to a platonic friend to be a burden rather than a benefit.

    So, what they concluded was that men and women just can’t be friends; it’s against science.


    Which is ridiculous.
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,605 Member
    I've got lots of male friends. To my knowledge none holds secret shagtastic intentions. And I certainly have no intention of ever making the beast with two backs with any of them.

    Grown ups. It's a good thing.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    I want to bang everyone on my fl...it shouldn't even be called a friends list, just Matt's bang list. I see where this question is coming from

    this is... ummmm... awkward.

    de-friend request incoming.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    I want to bang everyone on my fl...it shouldn't even be called a friends list, just Matt's bang list. I see where this question is coming from

    :angry:
  • Missellaneous02
    Missellaneous02 Posts: 70 Member
    I wonder this myself. I have mostly male friends and very few female friends. As far as I can tell my male friends only think of me as a friend. But who knows. It definitely has happened a few different times where a male friend has confessed his attraction for me. I hope they are not all my friends just because of my boobs :frown:
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I live with my best guy friend and I have bunches of guys friends. We are both straight and completely unattracted to each other----we just end up telling people that we're cousins so we don't get questioned about it ahahaha We've known each other since we were 10 so he's like my brother.

    I live with my worst guy friend who used to be my best guy friend until paleo.
  • OneEyeUp
    OneEyeUp Posts: 373 Member
    All of you women who believe that you can have male friends who don't want to bang you, ignorance is bliss.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    I want to bang everyone on my fl...it shouldn't even be called a friends list, just Matt's bang list. I see where this question is coming from

    The feeling is mutual.
  • micheleld73
    micheleld73 Posts: 914 Member
    i have several male friends who have never been anything other than that: friends. it is very likely that either they or i have, at some point in time, been attracted to and entertained the idea of taking things a little further with the other. i think it helps to try to befriend people who you aren't attracted to at all...but that makes me sound shallow.

    ^THIS^

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