Help! my husband wont let me lift heavy weights

meeper123
meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
He has got it in his head that if i do i will bulk up. I know thats not true I showed him youtube videos to prove it but he hated how the girl looked in it and now thinks if I lift too much I will look like her. One she had to work to look like that and I wont. Two there is no way I could get like her without years of work how can i help him put this to bed
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Replies

  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    Let might be the wrong word but he gripes and nags if i do
  • JessHealthKick
    JessHealthKick Posts: 800 Member
    Just talk to him? He's your hubby so you will have ton convince him.

    Wait a second, he isn't allowing you? Do you live on a chain or something? Just tell he you wanna lift a bit and ignore him. If he's rude and doesn't understand, that should be his problem not yours.

    edit: eh OK. Lemme guess, he is overweight too then? And is seeing you progress and feeling insecure about the fact he has done nothing about his body and HE should be lifting too? I don't know, hard reading between lines.
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    Yeah I suppose. Just trying to think of a clever way to avoid a fight
  • JJordon
    JJordon Posts: 857 Member
    I love it when people fell asleep in biology. Even I didn't fall asleep that much in the weight lifting class. So many things have to happen in sequence for that to happen, IIRC. You need to be eating at caloric surplus, you'd need to lift for months to years, if not up to a decade. You'd basically have to be a bodybuilder for that to happen.

    A mind full of broscience... can be a terrible thing indeed.
  • thatjulesgirl
    thatjulesgirl Posts: 200 Member
    Your husband won't LET you??


    Think about that for a while.... then go lift something heavy.
  • Textmessage
    Textmessage Posts: 387 Member
    I'm pretty sure slavery is over. Take a cue from Nike and just do it. ;)
  • halexandra
    halexandra Posts: 24 Member
    Honestly, just do it and he'll see you know what you're doing! He may be nagging a lot but it seems like you know your facts. Strength training is highly beneficial, just go for it and be safe!
  • treagal
    treagal Posts: 264 Member
    does he watch what you are doing at the gym? just do it, prove him wrong.
  • Rgtjax85
    Rgtjax85 Posts: 99 Member
    Remind him that the purpose of your goal is to live a healthier and stronger life. If I were married I would support anything that could add years to her life. The healthier you are the better for both of you. Be blessed.
  • Linkdapink
    Linkdapink Posts: 128 Member
    There's a few success stories on here doing New Rules of Lifting for Women - some stunning girls with amazing bodies. Show him those - they're not bulked up... e.g:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/733029-no-weight-loss-or-body-fat-loss-after-2-weeks-on-insanity
  • morielia
    morielia Posts: 169 Member
    My husband doesn't "let" me do anything. I'm a grown woman, and I do whatever I want. If you want to lift heavy, lift heavy. This is one of those instances where his opinion doesn't matter. I'd think he would have more important things to worry about than how much weight you're lifting. Would he rather you be out of shape? Working out is supposed to make YOU happy, not him.
  • ashlinmarie
    ashlinmarie Posts: 1,263 Member
    My husband doesn't WANT me to start lifting...he has the same thought in his head and he likes my soft curves...but I want to wear a tank top and not worry about arm flab or thigh jiggle in my shorts or tummy bulge in a bikini! I'm doing it anyway because how else will he learn that I'm not going to bulk up?
  • AmandaBiggs09
    AmandaBiggs09 Posts: 42 Member
    Go to this link (http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/). Scroll down to "Staci Now" where she is 142 lbs. She looks amazing and no bulky muscles.
  • angelams1019
    angelams1019 Posts: 1,102 Member
    I can think of a clever way to avoid a fight...And it works every time! :drinker:
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    lol wait for his next deployment and lift like a fiend. When he comes home he'll be so glad you did it.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    won't let you?

    you're an adult, it's your body.
  • nz_deevaa
    nz_deevaa Posts: 12,209 Member
    Ignore him, go lift some weights and deal with it when he starts thinking you look too bulky.
  • Vansy
    Vansy Posts: 419 Member
    I don't get it....he won't let you?

    ...I mean -- shouldn't that be YOUR choice about how you wish to workout. I mean you could always say "listen, I'm going to lift weights; and if I bulk up I'll stop or back off lifting weights" ---- since you know you won't bulk you should be good to go, and able to lift weights for as long as you want.
  • JessiBelleW
    JessiBelleW Posts: 831 Member
    If its going to become this huge fight/ deal why bother to tell him at all? Why not just go do it and enjoy the results?

    I am all for honestly in relationships but I think with health and weight loss it is too easy to get side tracked and put off by non supportive friends and Significant others. It is your body and you have the right to do to it whatever you like! Good luck you can do it!
  • katy_trail
    katy_trail Posts: 1,992 Member
    does he watch what you are doing at the gym? just do it, prove him wrong.

    let him watch and he'll want you doing the lifts all the time....ever seen a she squats page?
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Neck punch him.
  • daybehavior
    daybehavior Posts: 1,319 Member
    Instead of showing him a video and scaring him, you should have pointed him to one of the many countless topics on here on this issue.

    CLIFFS: Women (and men for that matter) don't just get "bulky" by accident. It's a long term, deliberate and scientific process that requires tons of hard work and dedication. Women aren't genetically designed to be bulky so its an even bigger uphill battle for them to even begin to look so.
  • kedlyo
    kedlyo Posts: 19 Member
    First, be the captain of your own ship. Marriage should be a partnership, not a property/owner relationship.
    Second, show him any of the following articles:

    http://www.somatraining.com/index.php/soma-blog1/89-5-reasons-women-wont-bulk-up

    http://physicalliving.com/strength-training-for-women-why-women-dont-bulk-up-from-strength-training/

    http://nzrealhealth.co.nz/fitness-myths-why-women-wont-bulk-up-from-weight-training/

    Third: Ask him if he wants to push you around in a wheelchair for a large portion of your later life? Or pay the medical bills for and watch you suffer with hip fracture, spinal fracture, etc. because you developed osteoporosis? Osteoporosis strikes 1 in 3 women, and strength training is key in preventing it from striking YOU!

    There are many more reasons than that to strength train, but that is the first one that popped in my head when I thought about ways YOUR strength training will positively affect HIM.
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    Instead of showing him a video and scaring him, you should have pointed him to one of the many countless topics on here on this issue.

    CLIFFS: Women (and men for that matter) don't just get "bulky" by accident. It's a long term, deliberate and scientific process that requires tons of hard work and dedication. Women aren't genetically designed to be bulky so its an even bigger uphill battle for them to even begin to look so.

    Well the girl looked awesome to me but not to him
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    First, be the captain of your own ship. Marriage should be a partnership, not a property/owner relationship.
    Second, show him any of the following articles:

    http://www.somatraining.com/index.php/soma-blog1/89-5-reasons-women-wont-bulk-up

    http://physicalliving.com/strength-training-for-women-why-women-dont-bulk-up-from-strength-training/

    http://nzrealhealth.co.nz/fitness-myths-why-women-wont-bulk-up-from-weight-training/

    Third: Ask him if he wants to push you around in a wheelchair for a large portion of your later life? Or pay the medical bills for and watch you suffer with hip fracture, spinal fracture, etc. because you developed osteoporosis? Osteoporosis strikes 1 in 3 women, and strength training is key in preventing it from striking YOU!

    There are many more reasons than that to strength train, but that is the first one that popped in my head when I thought about ways YOUR strength training will positively affect HIM.

    Even i didnt know that
  • matt2442
    matt2442 Posts: 1,259 Member
    he wont let you and you just listening to him? What a healthy relationship you have.

    LIFT
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    Lift what you want.

    Tell him it wasn't heavy....for you
  • sz8soon
    sz8soon Posts: 816 Member
    You've gotten some good advice on how to go about discussing this with your husband- my advice is to take a big look at your self esteem and your relationship with your husband. Sounds like a much bigger issue is invloved.
  • sexymuffintop
    sexymuffintop Posts: 636
    I don't tell my partner what I'm doing in the gym. Occasionally he has the same idiotic thoughts that I am lifting too much weight. Needless to say I just do what I do and he mostly leaves me to it. He likes me to be happy, and lifting makes me happy. Jess happy = his life much easier, so he has learnt through default not to critique my workout lol.
  • SkimFlatWhite68
    SkimFlatWhite68 Posts: 1,254 Member
    Don't tell him?

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