Help! my husband wont let me lift heavy weights

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  • metacognition
    metacognition Posts: 626 Member
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    Trust me. You need to lift heavy to see the best results. You won't get big - not even a little. I use heavy weights at the gym (for a girl) but I'm small!
  • irishblonde2011
    irishblonde2011 Posts: 618 Member
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    Just keep doing what you are doing. Don't get into a debate over it. He will come around when he sees how great you look :smile:
    Does he work out?

    Seriously I wish someone had told me to lift heavy at the start...those girls are hot lol

    Good luck.
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    wow... my husband doesnt tell me what to do, or even make suggestions... i dont even know what to say about that...

    i go to the gym, and my husband has no idea what i do there... all he knows is that ive shed over 60 pounds of fat off my body, and hes happy with that. i couldnt imagine having my husband boss me around... ive been an adults for many years now
  • angelams1019
    angelams1019 Posts: 1,102 Member
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    Get a new husband. What an incredibly selfish, ignorant, small-minded, insecure, cheuvanistic thing to say. Screw that guy. Do what makes you happy!

    YOU SAID IT FOR ME!!! thank you !

    She should leave her husband because he's scared of her getting "bulky"? I'm going to assume you two are single...

    OP: Its just a lack of understanding on his part. Just lift what you want and discuss other things. Cross that "bulky" bridge when you get there...But I have a pretty good feeling that you wont end up having to cross that bridge at all! :smile:
  • mareeee1234
    mareeee1234 Posts: 674 Member
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    I'm allowed to do what I want at the gym...and so yeah, I lift :D

    but my parents disapprove and think i will bulk up

    it is SO FRUSTRATING!!! LKGFJHFLG;'DF GAHHH
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
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    He's afraid you'll emasculate him. Gawd forbid you pile on more muscle than him. Lol :sick:
  • Kmanouchehri90
    Kmanouchehri90 Posts: 81 Member
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    Lift what you want.

    Tell him it wasn't heavy....for you

    Hahahaha brilliant!
  • JustMQ
    JustMQ Posts: 63 Member
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    Neck punch him.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    And then get back in the kitchen and make him a sandwich :wink:
  • Ivoryelaine
    Ivoryelaine Posts: 18 Member
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    Women do not bulk up they got more definition. You don't get any more defined than you want, it's not like something you can't stop when you start, if he really does not like how you look then you can change it if you want if you get more definition than he likes. Bottom line, my hubby likes me about 10lbs heavier than I like myself....at this point I am not close to either of our favorite weights for me, however, he has allowed me to get lighter than his "favorite" weight for me with no complaints, as he says "it's you living in your body" I have lifted weights in the past and will again as I heal from an injury. Likely he afraid of you not looking and feeling feminine and that is likely one of the things he loves about your appearance, find pictures of women who are strong and look feminine so he can see. Also he likely likes you to feel a little soft and inviting to hold and the idea of you being all muscled up does not fit well with that....for one thing, it takes a long long time to get there IF you ever can really feel muscular all over....and for another you don't have to be more muscular than you want to be, muscle burns more fat and is healthier, good for you and good for him for you to be healthier.....plus you start out with light weights any way.....and you get better definition by lifting lighter weights in a really really slow and controlled manner than heavy ones where you lift more quickly and with less control.....maybe you can make both of you happy by lifting the lighter weights more slowly and with more control and more reps?
  • runner2runner
    runner2runner Posts: 1,937 Member
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    It seems like your husband is not very well informed about the benefits of lifting weights, even heavy ones, especially for women. If he was he wouldn't make such a fuss about you lifting. Get him read up on the benefits so he sees that he has nothing to worry about. But even then why, would he be fussy about you putting on a bit of muscle? Educate him on those benefits, but in the meantime you keep lifting those heavy weights to reap the having a healthy body and mind.
  • flash53
    flash53 Posts: 46 Member
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    You will not get big and muscular. A lot of women that are on steriods are big and bulky. Women have estrogen as well as testosterone. The testosterone is so low in women you will not get big and bulky. As long as you dont take steriods you will not look manly. Look up fitness model Jamie Eason. She is a perfect example of a women who lifts weights and that is not bulky. Jennifer Nichole Lee and Jillian Michels are other women to look at. Jennifer Nichole Lee will have a slight more muscle that Jamie or Jillian but she works out about six days a week two hours a day. You will get muscle toned with a lean sexy look and a great looking butt which he would be happy with. Plus for women it it is very hard to get below 20% body fat because of mother nature so you wont be too ripped either. Good luck with all your goals.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    Just go to the gym and tell him you're just doing cardio like a good girl.
  • Justkeepswimmin
    Justkeepswimmin Posts: 777 Member
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    My husband comes to power (group power class) with me and is supportive however, he and I have different views on what's attractive.

    I told him it's easier to lose muscle than build it and if it gets to that point he can ask me to stop

    ASK not demand, and he knows I will definitely not want to be in a position to be unattractive to him.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    Let might be the wrong word but he gripes and nags if i do

    be honest arent there things that he does and your reaction would be considered nagging and griping to him? and does that stop him from continuing to do it?

    just do it and guaranteed in 3-4 months he'll be glad you did
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    I didn't read the comments. I also don't understand why you need your husband's permission. Do you go to the gym? You kind of need to, if you've never lifted heavy (it's a process to get there). Do you have a gym membership? Do you need his permission for that? Entice him with cardio kitten gym results, to get the membership. Then, when you are there, do what you want, try what you want. Get fit, and slim (from the weights)...he will change his tune when he sees your rock'n slim and defined bod!!!
  • JezziedotM
    JezziedotM Posts: 31 Member
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    I didn't read the whole thread so sorry if this has been said, but why not just lift heavy anyway? Is he there monitoring your workouts?
  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
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    Neck punch him.

    When someone tells me what not to do. I do it twice and in their face. YMMV.
  • upgetupgetup
    upgetupgetup Posts: 749 Member
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    I didn't read the comments. I also don't understand why you need your husband's permission. Do you go to the gym? You kind of need to, if you've never lifted heavy (it's a process to get there). Do you have a gym membership? Do you need his permission for that? Entice him with cardio kitten gym results, to get the membership. Then, when you are there, do what you want, try what you want. Get fit, and slim (from the weights)...he will change his tune when he sees your rock'n slim and defined bod!!!

    This is the get-stuff-done answer, and I kind of agree, no reason he has to know what you're doing anywhere. However, that means you're going to have to hide your logs in your locker, & read & watch instructional vids when he's not around. That kind of hiding would not be something I could live with, in any case, but especially if I were excited about something new.

    Convincing him might take a long time, though, takes people ages before the switch gets flipped even when they want to believe it.

    Wth, I guess hide your logs in the laundry room or something, where I guess he probably won't be :grumble:

    edit: no that is crappy, I hate the idea of that, just work on him constantly and do what you want.
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    My husband had similar ideas, do you know what? I did and do what I want. I do not exist for him, it's my body and life I will do what I think is best for me.

    I suggest you do the same.

    ETA: he now tells me how good I look : )
  • sisierra
    sisierra Posts: 707 Member
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    I think its cute that there's this notion of "let". is he in gym with you, saying no no no, thats too much weight dear! ???

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