Help! my husband wont let me lift heavy weights

I had to join a gym and not tell my wife for a few months. she hates when I go for a run.

I mean just go do it and eventually he will come around, just don't admit you were cheating on him with gym.

I agree. Sneaky lifting is one strategy.

Just tell him you're going to zumba but hit the squat rack instead.

Lol^. Love this!!!! Made my day:)

My Ex told me the same thing. He never missed an opportunity to tell me how unattractive I was becoming from lifting. Whatever. Now I own my own gym, and he is a distant bad memory.

My boyfriend used to tease me about how often I ate - I subscribe to the theory that it's better (for me) to eat smaller quantities more often. I let it get to me, started eating how HE ate, and ended up gaining a lot of weight. The point is, men do not always understand how women's bodies work. You know what's right for you, just do it! He'll see that he is wrong. I wish I could have followed my own advice, then I wouldn't be trying to lose all this weight now!

Oh and just to clarify, I, of course, thought his comments were intended to tell me he didn't like how I looked. Wrong-O!!! He's just a joker, and didn't realize that teasing me about food was so hurtful.

Just tell him you're going to zumba but hit the squat rack instead.

Lol^. Love this!!!! Made my day:)

Excellent plan.The idea of leaving someone who likes you the way you are, and doesn't know much about women lifting, just because he's being silly, seems excessive. Keep communicating, have some success with your fitness goals, and he's likely to come around.

I understand what you're trying to say, and that "let" isn't the right word

My guy is terrified of me bulking up and looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger with long hair.

Know how I got him over that fear?
By telling him that it will make my booty look bigger.
When he questioned why I was lifting so heavy up top, I explained that I'm learning how to twerk it.

i don't see how getting healthy for you should in any way be a threat to him...if this is a true partnership. he needs to understand that you want to get strong for YOU...and for him.

My hubby is the same way. He doesn't think I should have any muscle definition at all. I told him it's not his body so I'll do whatever I want. If he doesn't like it he doesn't have to look at it.

If my husband said this to me, I would INCREASE my weight lifting schedule just to spite him. :laugh:

Please tell me then, as I am intrigued, how exactly do you compromise on the fact that your wife doesn't want you to sleep with other women?

Me personally? I don't.

If I did however decide it was that big a deal to me then I would, at a minimum, discuss it with her first rather than do it behind her back. Honesty is the best policy and all that.

The OPs husbands insecurities are a different problem and need to be resolved seperately. Insecurities does not give someone the right to stop their partner from getting healthy.

You're right they don't. However neither do they give people the right to simply disregard what their partner is feeling, well, not unless you want a non functioning relationship that is...

Isn't that what the OP's husband is doing? He is disregarding her feelings about what she wants to do with her body. Your example of sleeping with other people is not comparable. She isn't breaking her marriage vows by lifting weights.

Yes, and he needs to let go of his insecurities as well.

However, I think the over riding message of "do it anyway even if it is behind his back" or "who cares what he thinks and just do it" won't particularly add to a conducive future relationship.

The answer to these kinds of questions are painfully boring: talk to your partner openly and honestly, explain why it is important to you and how it will ultimately add to the relationship. I think that has a much better chance of working.

ps: I was being glib in the "cheating" scenario I admit

You're right they don't. However neither do they give people the right to simply disregard what their partner is feeling, well, not unless you want a non functioning relationship that is...

Isn't that what the OP's husband is doing? He is disregarding her feelings about what she wants to do with her body. Your example of sleeping with other people is not comparable. She isn't breaking her marriage vows by lifting weights.

If letting your spouse know that you prefer something different then them is disregarding the spouses opinion, then married people disregard each others feelings all the time. I tell my husband not to grow a beard. I'm not sure if he was ever serious about it or not, and I don't care. I don't want him to grow a beard. He tells me not get too skinny. He doesn't care whether I want to be skinny or not.

Does he workout with you?

If not, just do it and don't tell him. I normally wouldn't advocate keeping things from partners, but you know you won't get bulky and if it's just going to cause fights then you're best off keeping quiet IMO. When he starts noticing how good you look, then you can let him know the secret to your success :happy:

If he works out with you, then you're just going to have to do it anyway. You're your own woman and he needs to get over it. Maybe you could strike up a deal. You lift heavy, if and when you get bulky then you will cut back on it a little? He'll think he's won, but really you know that you'll never need to cut back.

Yeah too true. He has more safty concerns since niether of us is a great athlete he is in way better shape because of the army but we dont know a whole hell of a lot about how its done right

Ask him to read this:

http://www.exrx.net/WeightTraining/Safety.html

Weight training is a statistically safe sport.

Or ask him to join MFP so I can have a chat with him