Help! my husband wont let me lift heavy weights

How many men would back down from lifting weights if their partner wouldn't "let them" because they would look "too muscular"?

I understand his need to protect but come on i am not a moron!

I doubt that he thinks you're a moron. Also, hey, he's been deployed, and you've been depressed about it. This shouldn't be a make or break issue in a marriage. Relax, both of you, and have some fun together. You won't be lifting heavy for a while anyway.

Read the article linked below. It should have some good ideas on how to approach this issue.

http://articles.elitefts.com/training-articles/strongher-university-the-female-psyche/

I understand his need to protect but come on i am not a moron!

I doubt that he thinks you're a moron. Also, hey, he's been deployed, and you've been depressed about it. This shouldn't be a make or break issue in a marriage. Relax, both of you, and have some fun together. You won't be lifting heavy for a while anyway.

Great point no way i can lift a lot right now i have chicken arms more bone than muscles it will be forever before i can lift heavy anyways

You'd be surprised how much you can lift, especially on squats. I lift at home. I never max out. My husband, who is a serious lifter, taught me all the "holy crap, I'm about to drop this" procedures to avoid injury. The only thing I've had to do regularly is what I refer to as "the roll of shame", which is failing about halfway up on a banch, and gently letting the bar down on my chest and rolling it down my body. You're lifts will go up fairly quickly as well, being new to lifting, gains can come pretty fast, strength wise. You will gain some muscle, you will not get bulky if you're actively trying to lose weight. It will mostly help you retain muscle while you lose fat, which keeps you looking more "toned" which seems to be what most women on the forums here desire. Muscleandstrength.com has some great demo videos for lifts. Read a book like New Rules of Lifting for Women. Have your hubs read it, too. Talk to him about it this way: You'd like to give heavy liftin g a shot. You'll get a bench, weights, rack and never attempt to lift close to your 1RM on your own. You'll lift. You'll progress. You'll see how you like it. He can see how it affects your body. Give him a "pass" to comment if he thinks he doesn't like your look, and have a discussion about how you feel and how he feels. But, unless you decide to do a bulk cycle, eat at a surplus and do it for over a year and/or continual bulk/cut cycles, you're more than likely not going to get overly musclar or hard loking. I've been lifting "heavy" for over a year (I did take a 3 month break). I put on some weight, some muscle, mostly fat, over the holidays. I am 5'4", 127-130 pounds )117 at my smallest, lifting heavy). I am around 26-20% bf. I wear a size 2. I have curves, I am by no means overly muscular. I will say, my husband loves that I lift, and he LOVES my "squat booty" in yoga pants. I had knee issues and took some time off from heavy squatting. Husband was very happy when I started again, it definitely gives me a rounder booty!

Your husband won't LET you??


Think about that for a while.... then go lift something heavy.

^ THIS!! :happy:

Your husband won't LET you??


Think about that for a while.... then go lift something heavy.

THIS x1000

Please tell me then, as I am intrigued, how exactly do you compromise on the fact that your wife doesn't want you to sleep with other women?

Me personally? I don't.

If I did however decide it was that big a deal to me then I would, at a minimum, discuss it with her first rather than do it behind her back. Honesty is the best policy and all that.

The OPs husbands insecurities are a different problem and need to be resolved seperately. Insecurities does not give someone the right to stop their partner from getting healthy.

You're right they don't. However neither do they give people the right to simply disregard what their partner is feeling, well, not unless you want a non functioning relationship that is...

I think the biggest disconnect here is that the husband doesn't necessarily want the OP to not lift heavy, but that he doesn't want her to get "bulky". His main goal seems to be that he doesn't want you to look bulky, which is fine, that's an aesthetic thing and everyone will have different tastes.

The problem is that he's associating that look with lifting heavy, which won't get 99% of women to that point. You can either have a bunch of discussions about how lifting heavy won't make you a musclebound female bodybuilder with no boobs (probably this is his concern), or you can just do it knowing the results won't be what he's actually afraid of.

May be he's just worried you'll be stronger than him ????

This is where I would tell him to go pound sand.





Then go to the gym and lift something heavy.




Put it down.



Repeat.

When he says "Honey I don't want you lifting weights cuz you'll sprout a penis and bulging veins. Then you will taekwando my wimpy *kitten* against the wall."

Go to the gym and lift something heavy.

Tell him lifting weights will give you more endurance to do other things longer.

Dueling pistols at sunrise! Winner take all!

I'm going through the same thing. He's afraid I'm going to get bulky like a dude. I'm NOT a fan of blowing off my spouse and doing whatever I like - I'd be mad if he did that to me. What I don't understand is wanting to stop something that isn't even happening yet. And what if I WANTED to be big and huge? Guess what, I do! I used to weigh 98 lbs and looked like death. Now I weigh 115 and actually have some tits and *kitten*. He doesn't even notice it. I get joy and confidence from lifting, but when I get home I feel embarrassed. He likes to refer to people who go to the gym as "meatheads" and makes jokes when I come home pumped about my workout. It's really weird too because he's a professional athlete...who is lucky and never has to set foot in a real gym. Advice before I quit?