How many dates should a guy pay for?

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  • timberowl
    timberowl Posts: 331 Member
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    I agree with your philosophy. I usually expect the guy to pay until we're officially dating. And even after that, unless it's pre-arranged that I'm going to pay for it, I usually make sure it's a "surprise" when I pay (i.e. once every 5 dates or so, I'll slip the waitress my debit card on the way to the bathroom). The man is supposed to be the provider, he has to prove his ability to do so.
  • timberowl
    timberowl Posts: 331 Member
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    Angelcurry, I see your point on that. I'd never ask a guy out, but if I did, I'd make it a "free" event. :D
  • ajball90
    ajball90 Posts: 211 Member
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    Whoever invites should pay! I don't understand why some people think the boy should always pay!
  • ajball90
    ajball90 Posts: 211 Member
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    I thought it was equal rights? If so shouldnt the women pay now?

    Hahahha!
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    Perhaps I now qualify as "old school" but, unless there's some special arrangement, the gentleman always pays.
  • Elle408
    Elle408 Posts: 500 Member
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    Generally, I think the guy pays the first date, especially if he instigated it. After that it's fair game, I invite him for pizza, I pay - he takes me out to the pub, he pays... I wouldn't keep tabs though, life's too short.

    I did however date a guy who insisted on paying and would get quite offended if I even attempted to or mentioned that I was going to. I would just cook for him occasionally as 'repayment', if you like.
  • StrongAndHealthyMommy
    StrongAndHealthyMommy Posts: 1,255 Member
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    before we moved in together, he paid like 70% of the time...
    now.... I pay for most of them..... but I don't really pay for bills in the house


    we my exes... I let them paid for most of the dates..... if he cant afford dates, he cant afford to have a girl with him... Im kinda old fashion....
  • StrongAndHealthyMommy
    StrongAndHealthyMommy Posts: 1,255 Member
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    Think a guy should pay for the first date (and that includes the tip). After that, perhaps split the difference each time you go on a date. Now if we're talking anniversaries, let the guy pay for the entire meal. Maybe it'd be wise for the lady to handle the tip.

    its funny you talk about tips.... if the guys doesn't tip well, he wont get a second date with me..... I don't date cheap guys
  • xALEXANDROx
    xALEXANDROx Posts: 3,416 Member
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    Whoever invites should pay! I don't understand why some people think the boy should always pay!

    this.:)
  • Sharkington
    Sharkington Posts: 485
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    Maybe i have just been extremely spoiled, but I have an expectation that if I am invited out, the guy pays. Especially in the beginning. However, if it turns into something long term, it sort of just becomes shared because I like feeling as thought I am contributing something - even if it's just eating in and buying food for that.
  • mlcantwell
    mlcantwell Posts: 243 Member
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    I'm not sure how it works for everyone, including same sex couples, but I'd say the asker pays. Then maybe take turns or the more financially better off person pays. Once there is monogamy take turns?

    It'll all depend on the couple. My bf pays for most dates, and he makes plenty of money. I make him lunch to take to work multiple times a week, plan dinners/order the groceries, and other things that kind of balance the whole thing. When I make a decent wage I'll be taking him out more!
  • sittingontopoftheworld
    sittingontopoftheworld Posts: 33
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    I'm not sure how it works for everyone, including same sex couples, but I'd say the asker pays. Then maybe take turns or the more financially better off person pays. Once there is monogamy take turns?

    It'll all depend on the couple.

    Agreed 100%.
  • Vansy
    Vansy Posts: 419 Member
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    My boyfriend paid for pretty much all of them....then again, he pays for most things -- and at this point I'm fine with that, it's become a "what's mine is yours" deal. We're both pretty traditional in that sense though -- guy pays for dates, opens doors, etc. etc.


    I should mention that I did put up a fight on the first meal we ate together -- breakfast at 5am in Vegas after I'd been up for 26 hours and had run a marathon...lol.




    But as for "how many dates should a guy pay for?" -- I mean I think that's between the man and woman on the date...to each his own.
  • LetsMakeupXtina
    LetsMakeupXtina Posts: 627 Member
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    call me old fashioned, but my vote is all or at least most of them.
  • donniesaurous
    donniesaurous Posts: 176 Member
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    The first 500 or so.

    ha haa! i wish this was true! i let my boyfriend pay for the first two, but from then on we started taking it in turns, now (three years later...) whoever drives doesn't have to pay! i tend to drive everywhere as I'm not a big drinker anyway, so being on soft drinks it makes me the cheaper date!
  • kirstie1926
    kirstie1926 Posts: 48
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    i'm extremely liberal and would be defined as a 'feminist' (even though i hate that word and i don't believe it defines me). yet i'm still old fashioned in some ways, hmm, maybe it's my midwestern mentality. but if i go on a first date and the man doesn't pay, there will be NO second date. of course i'll offer to pay half or pay the tip, but he should still say 'no' and pay the entire amount. the next few dates he should pay too and i'll pick up the tab maybe at the bar for a few drinks.

    someone else stated on this thread that it makes the woman feel powerless if the man pays. i call that bs. in any relationship, the roles reverse constantly between who's dominant and who's passive, one minute you have the upper hand, the next you don't. my father treats my mother like a queen, but she's rules with an iron fist. they've been together for 46 years and i would never describe either one as powerless in any way.
  • sgtdub555
    sgtdub555 Posts: 692
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    the guy will always pay for whatever the girl wants does not want thinks she wants and imagines she wants.

    Oh wait you are talking about food. Why not split it until you decide you like each other?
  • rudarbe
    rudarbe Posts: 164 Member
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    No.
  • sarahxx68
    sarahxx68 Posts: 42
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    My guy typically pays for dinner whenever we go out, and I'll leave the tip. I am the one who buys the movie passes for 'date night', so it works out. He's also much more well off than me.
  • rachjenn
    rachjenn Posts: 87
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    I don't think a guy should have to pay for any dates.... although I know there's a "thing" that the guy should pay. I'd accept a free meal only if he insisted, but I'd always insist first I'd pay my own way. I wouldn't be annoyed or think anything of it, if the guy did let me pay half :-)

    My mum always says men expect something in return if they pay for a meal... Haha

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