Is it RUDE to offer your "fat clothes" to a friend?

Give your fat clothes to charity. When Hurricane Sandy struck New York and New Jersey, I spent a lot of time volunteering at the displacement shelter and there were never enough clothes for larger people. Statistically speaking women are more likely to donate gently worn clothes to good will then men. And slender or petite women donate more often the out of season or out of style articles in their wardrobe. There is definitely a need for them there and thank you to those who already donate to good will!

My entire current wardrobe with the exception of approximately 15 items is the result of gifted clothes.

First scenario: an MFP friend who was losing ahead of me sent me 48 items, all very chic gently used (including workout clothes--super important!!!) and some still with tags. Second scenario: my Aunt who has been very vocal (encouraging/congratulatory) in my journey said she had a whole closet full of clothes for me to come look through. We made a day and fashion show of it. I literally tried on close to 90 items or more and found 38 pieces that I love! All high end designer brands and many with tags still on them!

I was so stubborn about buying in between sizes that I went from a size 24 to a size 12 without getting new clothes. I had maybe a handful of things that were in between sizes and I could wear heavily belted. I had my pants fall down running TWICE. If not for these two wonderful acts of kindness and generosity I would've been a.) a fashion disaster and an embarrassment to be in public with wearing clothes 6 sizes too big and/or b.) flat broke from trying to piece together a wardrobe of in between sized clothes.

I realize my story is probably nothing like the situation with your friend, BUT gifted clothes changed my entire perspective about my journey and my progress. I truly was not seeing my loss for what it was because of the ill fitting clothes I was wearing! My confidence and self esteem skyrocketed!

It sounds like you should know you're friend well enough to be able to gauge her reaction if the situation is approached tactfully. If you're really uncertain then I love the ideas of the clothes swap or the FB offer. Just don't say or do anything that will come back to taint the situation. If it's a genuine nice gesture that's how it should be interpreted. Good luck!

Edited to add: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE whatever clothes you don't find a new home for: donate to a women's shelter or disaster relief. These people often only have what they could carry or the clothes on their backs. It can be absolutely devastating. There are so many people that can benefit from your gift. That's where all my "fat clothes" are going ????

Since you have shared clothes & have been friends forever I think she may be offended if you don't offer them to her first...I would be.

All you have to say is I am cleaning out my wardrobe anything you want? That is not offensive it is more thoughtful IMO

Are you and these friends on Facebook. Maybe you could make a general statement of "I have a few dresses I don't wear anymore, cute and in good shape, anyone want them?"
Less "personal" than zeroing in on that one chubby friend.....

Ooh good idea! I'm facing the same issue myself I love these clothes and they're still funky and in good condition. It would be a waste to just get rid of them

My mum gives me her 'fat clothes' all the time - and tells me so; I can see the look in her eye when they are also too small as well

yes. my mother in law does it all the time. "here, these are too big for me but they'll fit you." "they're big, so you should like them."

Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

Just what I would suggest!

Or have a swishing party - invite a few friends (of various sizes) to bring along some good clothes and you try them on and have a swap. Anything left at the end can go to a charity shop - some people even ask for a donation for every "pre-loved" garment rehomed so the charity gets that as well.

Just make sure you invite a few friends who used to be the size you are now but have got bigger (or smaller)

Personally I'd just say "I'm cleaning out my wardrobe and getting rid of a lot of stuff, are you interested in taking a look through it?" she can say yes or no.

this

especially between good friends.

yes

If you are really close friends then she shouldn't mind at all and would be glad to have some new clothes and also happy for you to have lost so much weight! If you are not that close then I second the idea of saying you are donating to charity and tell her she's free to take anything she likes

Are you and these friends on Facebook. Maybe you could make a general statement of "I have a few dresses I don't wear anymore, cute and in good shape, anyone want them?"
Less "personal" than zeroing in on that one chubby friend.....

^^ Sorry, didn't see this one. Great minds think alike!

Only if they ask.

I just had to deal with this. A friend, who I've never actually met in person - we know each other from online, is also losing weight. She started a lot bigger than me and has lost enough weight to be several sizes smaller than when she started. I'm going through my wardrobe both for season change and because everything is too big now, and I just asked her if she wanted anything. I know money is tight in her house. And she's made comments that she seems to be in either her workout clothes or her bathrobe lately. So I boxed up a bunch of things and sent them to her. And she knows that there's another box worth that's down a size from those things waiting for her.

I was nervous about offering because I didn't want to offend her, but she took it in the spirit in which it was intended. I know she's planning to lose even more weight and wearing these things will allow her to be clothed without spending anything. There's a note in the box that anything she doesn't want (or when she diets out of them) should be donated to the charity of her choice.

Heck, I had a gift card to Lane Bryant that I had earned for taking surveys that I can't use any more (hooray for sizing out!) that I put in the box, too, so she can get undies or bras.

tl;dr: if you're comfortable with your friends, then make the offer. Just don't go out of your way to offend them with your wording.

I don't think it is rude. Unless you say "ok, I lost weight and I would like to know if you want my fat clothes, since I can't wear them anymore. "


If they are your close friend, you can just say "Hey, I am getting some new clothes and wondered if you wanted to come raid my closet before I get rid of some clothes to make room".

Yes I think so. Just to be on the safe side just donate them to charity...I'm sure there is a person in need who has just a little less than you who would love to have them.