If you can't say anything nice, get thee to internet forums

I think sometimes it's necessary for people to point out to us the foolish and costly things we're doing when it's obvious we're not seeing it. When people come on here and ask about things like hypnosis - yeah, they need to know that they're being gullible and getting taken advantage of, and to get it together and do what actually needs to be done. No one remembers the time someone told them politely that they were being stupid. But they certainly remember the time someone came out and directly told them they were.

Some people have way too much time on their hands, get obsessive and get angry when they're hungry

I remember when all this was just fields....

:laugh:

I just read the thread in question. I think it's a beautiful thing that people often accused of being "unsupportive, joke-at-my-expense" people were incredibly informative/supportive, and the people who had maybe 2 post counts or who had only been here a month or two were the, "EAT 500 CALORIES."

Which is to say... people seem to consistently form opinions of others on these forums from one or two threads... but look, they're different people!

Any forum I've ever been on (I've been on a few for various interests) is like that. You just kinda get used to it.

sometimes you get disgusted and leave. maybe we're just in a transition state and still learning how to deal politely with each other within the anonymity of forums? Or maybe it's up to everyone to educate everyone they come across? still, the line between jocularity and hostility can't always be conveyed whilst typing.

Any forum I've ever been on (I've been on a few for various interests) is like that. You just kinda get used to it.

sometimes you get disgusted and leave. maybe we're just in a transition state and still learning how to deal politely with each other within the anonymity of forums? Or maybe it's up to everyone to educate everyone they come across? still, the line between jocularity and hostility can't always be conveyed whilst typing.

No I completely agree with you. I'm just saying that sometimes you have to get thick skin if you want to post on a forum. There are always going to be people who disagree, especially on here. So many different methods and ideas floating a round. And then you get the @ssholes. Many people do use the anonymity of the internet to become someone they're not.

I made my very first forum post last night and really got some great advice and encouragement from lots of lovely people who are actually losing weight. I also received a hefty dose of passive aggressive snark. I just want to say that it is possible to lend some friendly, helpful advice whilst shelving mean comments. I've seen it on several threads, the first few responses to "General Diet and Weight Loss Help" are pretty darn positive/helpful....and then the heckling begins. Is this really necessary? Should there be a separate thread called "You ask dumb questions and I really could use a hug". Just sayin'

i looked up that thread. i didn't really see the passive-aggressive snark. outside of one sarcastic comment and 1 comment by a low cal nutter, there was nothing really out of the ordinary there. :huh:

ETA: the low cal nutters are pretty common on this site, so technically their comment isn't out of the ordinary.

^ This. And the vast majority of the snark is simply good natured ribbing. The best help and advice I've received both here and IRL is often in the form of someone experienced giving a little good natured ribbing. It sticks a bit better for whatever reason.

I'm a noob & I really, sadly, love the snark. It's like the Regretsy hoarde got tired of twiddling their thumbs & drinking whiskey & decided to workout instead. I wouldn't be checking in here as much at all if it was all rainbows & unicorns.

It's the Internet after all.

I have to admit, the post title is funny. :laugh:

The truth is that many people expect MFP to a hand-holding site where dangerous and/or ineffective weight loss tactics are to be met with praise, support, or otherwise benign responses.

But no one here is beholden to hold your hands or be your cheerleader. And no one is under any obligation to follow some code of "niceness." Everyone has different humor styles - and many of us are sarcastic.

As long as people aren't running around calling each other fat slobs and/or directly insulting other members, it's fine. Too many people take sarcastic responses as a direct insult.

Truth is, many of us don't feel any random member is so important as to warrant direct insults. Most of what people call "insults" and "snark" is in their heads.

Develop a friends list that matches with your support needs and you'll fare far better.

(And this is coming from someone who prefers absolute kindness and gentle support - but that's why I gather friends who are able to support me that way. I do not expect an active forum of hundreds of members to conform to my needs.)

Eat fish, throw out the bones.

I was just thinking myself that 90 percent of contributors on here have massive attitude problems. I post on other internet forums about other subjects and I've never seen such rude, aggressive and needlessly antagonistic responses to posts.

I don't think we all need to hold hands but if you've got nothing nice to say and nothing constructive don't bother replying IMO. Also a lot of he 'know it alls' either purposely or mistakenly don't read the questions properly or take the time to understand it.

I was just thinking myself that 90 percent of contributors on here have massive attitude problems. I post on other internet forums about other subjects and I've never seen such rude, aggressive and needlessly antagonistic responses to posts.

I don't think we all need to hold hands but if you've got nothing nice to say and nothing constructive don't bother replying IMO. Also a lot of he 'know it alls' either purposely or mistakenly don't read the questions properly or take the time to understand it.

I really think that /b at 4Chan ought to be an internet starter. That would show people what horrible people are like on the internet.

Pictures and sarcastic responses that are not even allowed to contain cursewords are so very, very mild.