Is it your responsibility to stay in shape for your S/O...

I think you owe it to your partner to be in the best shape reasonably possible within the constraints of your lifestyle.

I don't think it's fair or right to become something completely different (ie fat blob with poor hygiene) once somebody is legally bound to you just because you can.

I stay in shape for my boyfriend.
I don't care what my husband thinks.

Lol XD

I don't think its your responsibility TO your spose. But keeping in shape for yourself is the best thing you can do for YOURSELF for so many reasons, health, energy, self esteem, and yeah staying physically attractive to their S/O can be one of those benefits.

That being said - I think that if someone doesn't keep in shape they have to accept that thier S/O may become less physically attracted to them. I think its human nature. Physical attraction is not everything though. It doesn't mean the relationship will fall apart or that thier S/O won't still be attracted to them at all or will stop loving them.

I don't have a S/O at the moment, but I think you absolutely have that responsibility, especially if you are married. Boyfriends/girlfriends can walk away at any time. Spouses (ideally) cannot.

I got in shape (and I'm staying that way) because I wanted to, not because I thought I had to for someone else. I have seen the benefits of adopting this as a lifestyle and not just to fit into a dress or to look good on the beach for the summer and then go back to ignoring my body. So first and foremost, I think you owe it to yourself.

But I believe that physical attraction is critical to a healthy romantic relationship, and sex is most definitely critical to a healthy marriage. Obviously, as you age, things are going to change about your body (wrinkles, gray hair, pregnancy, etc.), and that's fine. But there is no excuse for gaining a dramatic amount of weight and expecting your spouse to continue on like nothing has changed. People always say "If your husband/wife loved you, they shouldn't care." Well, if YOU loved him/her, why would you gain 50 lbs and act like that doesn't affect some key areas of your relationship?

I stay in shape for my boyfriend.
I don't care what my husband thinks.

:laugh: Funny cos its true

So is your partner at fault if they become less sexually interested as a result?

Is your partner at fault for becoming bored with the same boring stories you've told for the past 20 years?

There's also the concern of health. I mean if youre damaging your health in a way that can be avoided and putting yourself at risk for death or hospital stays or worse then youre not being fair to your significant other. Sure youre with them through better or worse but if worse is avoidable and you dont have to put unnecessary stress on your other half mentally, physically, emotionally then you do owe that to them. Its one thing to get sick because you cant help it. Its another to put yourself into that shape with eating, lack of exercise and what not.

I think so, yes. While there will be times we all gain/lose weight, and of course everyone will age and looks will fade. But that doesn't mean you should try to take care of yourself. If your S/O doesn't support you though and accept you no matter what, there may be other issues to deal with. But I do feel the effort should be there to be attractive to your other half. But when the time does come that you gain weight...your S/O should be there to support you and give whatever support you need when you are ready to get healthy agian.

It is your responsibility to stay in shape for yourself.

^^^ This.

Someone above mentioned complacency; I think keeping a relationship fresh is much more important than what size clothes you fit. If you're both happy in yourselves and have a fulfilling life together, neither of you would care what the other looks like.

I think it's my responsibility to get in shape primarily for myself and to set a healthy example for my kids.

While I'm 1 size bigger than when I got married, I haven't "let myself go". I do want to be attractive to my husband so I do things that I know he prefers (for example, he loves when my hair is long, so it's currently long), but ultimately we love each other and are married for life so we are both in this with the knowledge that at some point far down the road physical attraction may wane. Hopefully it doesn't, but our looks will definitely change and we know that.

It is your responsibility to stay in shape for yourself.

^ Agreed!

Sex as a weapon is a form of abuse, no matter what excuse is used..i.e. I'm just motivating you. or I'm not attracted to a fatty...etc. THIS IS A PROBLEM!

The latter is not using sex as a weapon though. I wouldn't have sex with someone I'm not attracted to, and it's not because I'm trying to punish him. It's because I don't want to endure an awkward, unsatisfying sexual encounter. If it feels like a chore, you're doing it wrong.

I agree that you should never withhold sex to get someone to do something, but if you're not into it, you're not into it.

So is your partner at fault if they become less sexually interested as a result?

No. There is no blame. In a marriage two people work out things together. Hopefully as problems arise they are discussed or resolved in some way. I guess there is a high divorce rate because things aren't always resolved. I think in the big scheme of marital problems and struggles " letting oneself go" or gaining weight is just one of many issues that could occur. Personally I think it's a pretty minor one, but I know different people have different priorities.

You start getting serious when your S/O starts using Sex as a weapon.

Fortunately that goes both ways