Is it your responsibility to stay in shape for your S/O...

Someone else's happiness with my body is not my responsibility.

That being said, The Mister has always known me as superfat. He's not small, either. I don't expect him to lose weight or whatever, but I support him if he does. He's supporting me with my decision, too.

Yes, it is your responsibility to stay in shape.

ooopps

Yes def! False advertising

I'd say a little of both - it is your responsibility to make sure you're healthy enough to actually spend your life with that person. At the same time, I agree with the poster who said:

If you're getting to married to someone who only wants to be with you when you're hot, you shouldn't have gotten married to them in the first place.

If they can't accept you when you've gained, then were they really being honest about why they loved you? Or if they loved you?

Edit: then again, some people may not want to be healthy enough to live a full life with the person they married. As Johnny Carson said, "Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die." I'm sure there are plenty of women who feel the same way.

Illnesses and accidents happen, yes. But assuming nothing of this sort happens, and your physical fitness can be reasonably improved with a diet and exercise change, I fully believe that you should.

Like I said, I believe it is my responsibility to my husband and children to keep myself healthy (not smoking, not using drugs, not participating in a dangerous lifestyle, etc). I do not consider maintaining a certain size or weight a responsiblity I "owe" my husband, though.

Yes I think it's both the man and the woman's responsibility to stay fit so they can remain attractive for their significant other.

I stay in shape for my boyfriend.
I don't care what my husband thinks.

LMAO. You win this thread.

I think it depends on the relationship and what each person expects out of it, there's no one right answer. I went from 125 to 185 over several years and my SO never said anything negative about it, I really appreciate him for that. However, I will not go back to my HW, I don't like it personally, I didn't like my body at that weight and I didn't feel good either (I wasn't eating well or being active). I don't think love should be conditional on appearance, but physical attraction is a different story and I think we should work to stay attractive to each other, but I'd love him no matter what, I really don't care about his weight as long as it doesn't affect his health or confidence.

I'd rather be single my entire life than marry or even date someone who thought it was my "responsibility" to stay in shape for him (or his for me).

You completely missed the point. I did not ask if you felt it was someone else's responsibility, but if YOU had that responsibility.

I don't feel like I did, yet your response doesn't make sense as a response to what I said.
I said no, I do not. I thought that was pretty clear, but maybe I'm wrong. Or maybe you're asking a question that is so far above my intellectual level that I just don't get it.

I feel that you did. You stated that you would not remain with someone who thought it was your responsibility to stay in shape for them. I was asking if YOU felt like it was YOUR responsibility to stay in shape for them.

That's not what I meant to say, so either you misunderstood my words or I incorrectly worded my thought. No, I don't think it is my responsibility to stay in shape for my s/o. My post wasn't about leaving someone because they felt that way, I meant it more in the sense of if I were aware that my s/o felt that way, we wouldn't get into a relationship to begin with.

I guess it's not something I've ever had to think about. I met my husband when I was 20 lbs heavier than I am now. Having had an ex who wanted me to stay heavy or get heavier (gross) it was very important to me at that time that anyone I entered into a relationship with would love me if I gained 50 lbs or if I lost 50 lbs. It feels horrible to have someone manipulate you into a body that isn't you, so I guess the concept of feeling like my s/o has any say over my body disgusts me. I want to be fit for me.

ETA: in case it still seems I'm missing the point, I have a "desire" to do this for myself and if I want to achieve my goal, it is my "responsibility" to do so... for me, not for my s/o. Because it's not his body, it's mine and if he didn't like it he shouldn't have married me. But apparently he did.

I will admit that I fancy the idea of other people seeing my husband as "a lucky guy" but I realize this is vanity. He says he doesn't care what people think and they should see that he is lucky regardless.

Am I still missing the point?

I enjoy sex. Sex is fun when I feel and look sexy. I enjoy that for a lot of reasons. I enjoy how my husband is attracted to me and I want to maintain that. When other people find me attractive it also feels good and adds to our sex life. There are many many other reasons why I enjoy and benefit from being fit and attractive (not just in the bedroom). These are my own choices. I do not think that marriage causes me to be less fit. I do think that I should care and put the effort in, but life is unpredictable and in unforeseen circumstances my husband will still love me the same. I will always put in the effort towards whatever I have control over. My husband appreciates it and I enjoy that also. Staying fit is a simple little thing that keeps us both happy on many levels. And because my husband benefits from my fitness and taking care of myself he is very supportive of me in my efforts. I am happy about that. I do think it helps to have his support and joy. He encourages me to keep going to the gym, to continue doing what is going to benefit me most, to make changes when I want or need to change up my fitness routines (will help watch my form if I ask). He is supportive of me watching what I eat and meeting my nutritional needs. When I want a new weight lifting book, he sees that as being important. Whatever difficulties or challenges we may face in life, sex is something that I know will always bring happiness to my husband and to our relationship. It's more enjoyable to always work at it and never let it become mundane. Also, my husband is honest with me when I ask him if I need to work on stuff. Kind, but honest.

Well that's the pro of your weight not being about attracting a mate, your physique and health are not dependent on another human.

And I also would add that being in shape is a tiny factor contributing towards sexuality.

^^This^^ is ABSOLUTELY true! I have heard many times that his/her drive and feelings of being sexy increased substantially when they lost the excess lbs and got fit! Whether it is from your internal health or your mental attitude, I cannot say, but I concur!!! ;o)