HELP! Should I date three more??

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  • thecanface
    thecanface Posts: 1,180 Member
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    OMG you're soooo old to not have a husband and kids already!! You look like you're some kind of hispanic... shouldn't you have 4 kids by now????

    get married girlfriend. times a running out.

    That is kind of racist. I am "some kind of Hispanic" -- I am Mexican. But only through my mom's side. My dad is not Mexican. He is "white mutt" mixed. I do need kids for my grandparents to be happy before they die. :ohwell:

    One drop rule.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    I'm positive I read the same study, and it said after 12 men you switch to women. I think an even dozen of each will help you decide what it is you really want.

    Hehehe! You're saying that because you're a woman right? :bigsmile:
  • HotCuppaJo
    HotCuppaJo Posts: 477 Member
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    WOW, I think you are over complicating things and also simplifying things.

    for starters how in the world do you know the first guy was cheating on you? Because guy #2 told you? Have you thought that guy #2 told you that so he had a shot at you?

    Marriage, not sure how you view it but I do not think it is something that should be rushed into. Do you have an education? Do you have a career? How about these other guys?

    You can PM me, add me as friends so I can better understand.

    I see what you did there. You're wanting to be one of the three aren't you..... :smokin:
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
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    ^ Don't listen to this. I like to keep my wife in a locked room. I think she's safer that way and it shows how much I love her.

    I hope that room is the kitchen.
  • Gunr2147
    Gunr2147 Posts: 63 Member
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    Chris is an insane liar who lied to you about Simon cheating. He did this so he could have you to himself, and now he wants to trap you forever. Run back to Simon, but do it slowly. Stop for 3 guys on the way.

    I wish you nothing but success on your journey.

    True.
  • jooonesy
    jooonesy Posts: 86 Member
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    But I'm a really scientific person. That's why I tend to do badly in relationships. Anyway, studies show that you should date 12 people before you choose one to settle down with, and I've only dated 9. :noway: (I found that in Wired magazine, they are just great).

    Can't agree with that... I only had 2 serious boyfriends before I got married. Nevertheless, I agree with the others... I find it odd that the friend of the boyfriend said you're being cheated on, couldn't prove it and now you're dating the friend. The "scientific" in you should caught on to that scheme a mile away.
  • hummingbird71
    hummingbird71 Posts: 298 Member
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    Scientific or not if it FEELS right then it's right! I certainly didn't date 12 guys before I got married... It was only 4-5... hell it's been so long I forget. See my 19th year of marriage is approaching very soon... 19 years and didn't date 12 guys before! Oh and then there is my sister who only dated 1 guy... 1!!! She got married and is on her 22nd year of marriage. Again if it FEELS right then don't mess with it... just the way I see it! Good luck!
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
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    ^ Don't listen to this. I like to keep my wife in a locked room. I think she's safer that way and it shows how much I love her.

    I hope that room is the kitchen.

    A-logo.jpg
  • anarjackson
    anarjackson Posts: 79 Member
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    I don't think you should settle right now. You haven't been dating Chris for a very long time to move for him, etc. I personally don't care for men who are constantly in my business or are jealous. It may be cute at first, but it will get old very quick. 26 is still young. You are beautiful, enjoy yourself and see what else is out there. Good luck doll!
  • HikerRR50
    HikerRR50 Posts: 144 Member
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    Well If you are willing to follow wired magazines advice I think you already have your answer :)
  • CoreyOhNoes
    CoreyOhNoes Posts: 14 Member
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    I feel like you should be soap opera writer.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    This new guy throws up all kinds of red flags. Two months and he constantly checks in on you, gets jealous, wants to move you away from your family, your support group and make you his (essentially)? No ma'am. Throw in the fact that he magically was the one that put the seed of doubt in your mind with your relationship with Simon? Run. Run far away. Date 3 more, 100 more, but this guy is not good news and has serious trust issues with YOU instead of the other way around.

    Honey, I know it is hard to see when you are so close to the situation and the relationship is still so new and wonderful feeling. But every ounce of logic speaks against staying with him. If you are logical in the very least sense, get out now.

    I speak only from experience. I had a very very rough relationship once. I was trapped 600 miles away from my friends and family, none of whom liked my boyfriend in the first place. I was depressed, suicidal, lonely as hell even though I had a man who supposedly loved me and wanted us to be together forever.

    They're good at telling you what you want to hear, but nothing else. Trust your family's judgement here.

    Thank you for this message, I really appreciate it! :flowerforyou: I'm sorry you had to go through that. I just really want to make sure I am doing the right thing, and I know we're still in the honeymoon phase, but everyone doesn't have the same experience like you had, you know?
  • Beezil
    Beezil Posts: 1,677 Member
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    I'm sorry, but ............ what?

    "...it isn't worth it to me to stay in a relationship where I can't trust someone" <<< I would wholly agree with that statement

    "....we have been together two whole months" <<< this is where I started to struggle. Two WHOLE months?!? Wowzer

    "I'm 26 and my biological clock is ticking" <<< you're losing me

    "....my ex is calling me ......so obviously I need to get out of the San Diego area" <<< nope, you've lost me.

    ".Anyway, studies show that you should date 12 people before you choose one to settle down with" <<< well, if you read it, it must be true, especially in Wired.

    "What if I miss my soul mate?" <<< you're seriously asking these questions and STILL entertaining marrying someone you've been with for two WHOLE months?

    "I know the forums get snarky sometimes ..." <<< honest to god, this is the first time I've ever been snarky on any social network or forum in my life, but what did you seriously expect?

    You're 26, been with someone for 2 months, have some weird idea of a ticking bio clock at 26, considering leaving your state because someone keeps phoning you and you're entertaining marrying someone when you think you should shop around first.

    I strongly believe that if you are even considering being with someone other than the person you are with, then you shouldn't be with them because you are not invested. If you are having to ask complete strangers if you are ready to marry & do something with your biological clock at 26, then you are already know the answer ... "NO"

    I'm sorry to be as snarky as I am obviously being but, again .... what?

    This. ALL of this.
  • DesireeAshley90
    DesireeAshley90 Posts: 137 Member
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    I still can't get over the fact that you broke up with someone off of a hunch that he might be cheating. Nevertheless it sounds like you weren't very into him in the first place.

    I most definitely think you could overlook someone great and perfect for you all because you want to listen to a "study". If I listened to all studies in the world, I would realize I should be dead by now. I'd say go for it.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    xBSmSNG.jpg
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    ^ Don't listen to this. I like to keep my wife in a locked room. I think she's safer that way and it shows how much I love her.

    I hope that room is the kitchen.

    Well, the beer doesn't open itself
  • Desterknee
    Desterknee Posts: 1,056 Member
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    Just have a MMMF fourway.

    no no no no....someone has to be the Square peg for the round hole...or is that the round peg for the square holes?

    it's MmmF

    or Mmmf...

    or mmmF

    here...in case it's TL;DR

    someone's gotta bottom.

    DP and one in the piehole

    QFT....so it's MMMf


    Thanks for the correction! Now OP will know how to properly phrase her craigslist ad!
  • ketchupqueen
    ketchupqueen Posts: 29
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    I'm positive I read the same study, and it said after 12 men you switch to women. I think an even dozen of each will help you decide what it is you really want.

    Hehehe! You're saying that because you're a woman right? :bigsmile:

    It has worked really well for me! I'm so glad I read that study. I just sort of alternate like man, woman, man, woman, man, man, woman...whatever. As long as it adds up to 12 of each I don't think it matters exactly when you fit them in. You can do it!! Have you tried plentyoffish?? :flowerforyou:

    :laugh: :laugh:
  • amandajones1978
    amandajones1978 Posts: 140
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    OK, mfpeeps. I have issues. I broke up with my boyfriend Simon a few months ago because one of his friends (Chris) told me Simon might be cheating. I couldn't prove it, but of course I broke up with Simon because it isn't worth it to me to stay in a relationship where I can't trust someone. :ohwell:

    After a few weeks, Chris and I randomly started dating, so now me and him are together and have been for two months. It's great because I know I can trust him. My ex never checked up on me, but Chris is interested in who I was talking to on the phone or who is PMing me here or he just calls me to see where I am and what I'm doing at different points during the day. :love: Sometimes he gets jealous of other guys flirting with me. He really cares and it's adorable. :love:

    The problem is that even though we have been together two whole months, he has to move for his job and wants me to go with him. He wants to get married. I'm 26 and my biological clock is ticking, so I'm not totally against it. Add to that the fact that my ex is calling me lately saying he wants to work things out so obviously I really need to get out of the San Diego area. :angry:

    But I'm a really scientific person. That's why I tend to do badly in relationships. Anyway, studies show that you should date 12 people before you choose one to settle down with, and I've only dated 9. :noway: (I found that in Wired magazine, they are just great). I can't ask my family and friends because they are biased and really liked my ex and don't like Chris, but I need input. What do I do? Do I risk not dating three more people? What if I miss my soul mate? And what if Chris is the best man I'll ever know and I let him go? :sad: :sad:

    I know the forums get snarky sometimes and I do have a sense of humor and inteligence, but I'm actually looking for real advice here, not rudeness. After all, we're all here for the same reasons. :flowerforyou:



    Do you also believe Twilight is the greatest love story ever?

    If you are asking complete strangers these questions, then you already know the answer. NO.
  • Kattamer81
    Kattamer81 Posts: 90
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    I've just gotta add my two cents here...if you're thinking about shopping around, Chris is NOT your soulmate. You'll know if he's your soulmate, you won't have to doubt. And if he's your soulmate, yor devotion to him certainly wouldn't be shaken by a magazine article.

    Second, Chris sounds really controlling and manipulative. Having been married to a man like him for five years (I'm now very gladly divorced), I can tell you that this is one road you do not want to go down. The checking up on you might seem charming at first. But every day, month, year that goes by it gets more and more smothering...and eventually it will just choke the happiness out of your life.

    Finally, if your family doesn't like him, it's a pretty big red flag. Do you really want to deal with that for the rest of your life? Just think about it...

    I can't say if 12 is a magic number for you...but I can give you the advice to give this more time than 2 months before making a life-changing decision. If he really loves you, if he really is your soulmate he'll wait.

    Good luck!

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