Some of you are just plain RUDE

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Replies

  • Mistyfied_MD
    Mistyfied_MD Posts: 62 Member
    I agree, some people seem to come to the forums in order to make themselves feel smarter and more knowledgeable at the expense of others. Try not to let it bother you. There are still lots of people here who do give honest feedback and constructive criticism =)
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
    The truth of the matter is when most people post a question on the forums, it is rare that they do it with an open mind and not a pre-conceived notion they are trying to get "validated".

    It takes time to learn your body, learn how to modify your diet/fitness in a healthy way. Most are simply hunting for quick fixes, or a single solitary correction that will put them back on track. The truth is, it is rarely exactly that simple.

    This gets further entwined in crap because people simply lack patience with their weightloss and fitness. People don't give their bodies enough time to adjust to changes they make, because they don't get instant gratification in what they just tried. So they end up making either alot of changes...or no changes...and thus don't make the progress they should, and then cry that nothing works for them in a follow-on post.

    You have to really READ what is being written, not dismiss a sarcastic statement as just rude, especially if there is a message in that statement. You aren't here to judge what a response is, just as we (community) really shouldn't judge the original post (that is sometimes hard to do when it is easy to see the intention within the post).

    I've seen plenty of "this doesn't work for me" posts, yet the person isn't willing to open their diary for people to review. Call it what you want, but when someone does that, they aren't asking for help..since they are hiding what they are doing from those they are asking questions to.

    I was in a pretty heated debate a while back with a girl that was certain that her diet was in line, but she hadn't recorded anything in two weeks, wasn't weighing/measuring her food, was relatively new to weight loss, and skirted around the questions I had. I finally had to get a little "direct" with her.

    Sometimes, that's just the way it goes! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • mkepunk
    mkepunk Posts: 1
    As someone said, 'that's the internet for you." They take they're life frustrations out on strangers because they're wearing a mask and flexing the keyboard muscles. Ignore it and pay them no attention. Good for you for taking steps to being more healthy. Good luck!!!
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,861 Member
    Good for you. Go enjoy your new "friends" while you all congratulate each other for everything. The "rude" (read: honest) people on the forums will still be here working hard and offering real advice if anyone needs something a little more helpful than a pat on the back.
    Most of the people who congratulate themselves for their "honesty" just really never learned to distinguish between honesty and cruel frankness. Stopping ugly people on the street to tell them they are ugly is cruel frankness. Calling yourself out for your own shortcomings is honesty.
  • squatsandlipgloss
    squatsandlipgloss Posts: 595 Member
    That's life for ya, honey. There's always those people that think they know everything about fitness and nutrition, especially giving someone they've never met advice on how to eat and workout. It's funny to me. But I choose to ignore it. I just roll my eyes, shrug and move on. Nothing you can do about it. Complaining isn't going to get you anywhere because they don't see that what they're doing is just useless, even if they have good intentions. But again, that's life, not just the forums.
  • tootchute
    tootchute Posts: 392 Member
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FONN-0uoTHI
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    one friday while bored at work i posted something of the same nature....18 pages later of people telling me off.....oy.....people are crazy....some of the forum posts here are like train wrecks....some are motivational, informative, others just sad.....
    if people are being mean for fun, yikes....what kind of miserable pathetic lives do you think they have?

    well crap I am at 8 pages now. HOWEVER, I have received 15 new friend requests and 6 personal messages thanking me. So guess its a pretty darn good day.

    Happy Friday, everyone!


    Yeah, you probably need some new friends. I noticed that 15 of your 38 friends haven't logged in for months now.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    bbgif.gif

    I don't know what's going on here but I am so glad that this gif has come into my life.

    me too...me too!! I'm attracted and repulsed at the same time...what does that mean???
    It means you have a fetish.
  • KatLifter
    KatLifter Posts: 1,314 Member
    The truth of the matter is when most people post a question on the forums, it is rare that they do it with an open mind and not a pre-conceived notion they are trying to get "validated".

    It takes time to learn your body, learn how to modify your diet/fitness in a healthy way. Most are simply hunting for quick fixes, or a single solitary correction that will put them back on track. The truth is, it is rarely exactly that simple.

    This gets further entwined in crap because people simply lack patience with their weightloss and fitness. People don't give their bodies enough time to adjust to changes they make, because they don't get instant gratification in what they just tried. So they end up making either alot of changes...or no changes...and thus don't make the progress they should, and then cry that nothing works for them in a follow-on post.

    You have to really READ what is being written, not dismiss a sarcastic statement as just rude, especially if there is a message in that statement. You aren't here to judge what a response is, just as we (community) really shouldn't judge the original post (that is sometimes hard to do when it is easy to see the intention within the post).

    I've seen plenty of "this doesn't work for me" posts, yet the person isn't willing to open their diary for people to review. Call it what you want, but when someone does that, they aren't asking for help..since they are hiding what they are doing from those they are asking questions to.

    I was in a pretty heated debate a while back with a girl that was certain that her diet was in line, but she hadn't recorded anything in two weeks, wasn't weighing/measuring her food, was relatively new to weight loss, and skirted around the questions I had. I finally had to get a little "direct" with her.

    Sometimes, that's just the way it goes! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    applause-gif-tumblr-47_original.gif?1363040789
  • Katina3333
    Katina3333 Posts: 259 Member
    Most of the people who congratulate themselves for their "honesty" just really never learned to distinguish between honesty and cruel frankness. Stopping ugly people on the street to tell them they are ugly is cruel frankness. Calling yourself out for your own shortcomings is honesty.

    ^ this
  • crista_b
    crista_b Posts: 1,192 Member
    I agree, some people seem to come to the forums in order to make themselves feel smarter and more knowledgeable at the expense of others. Try not to let it bother you. There are still lots of people here who do give honest feedback and constructive criticism =)
    The thing is, the people here that are truly offering honest feedback and constructive criticism are usually the ones who get called out for being "mean". They're rarely (if never) doing anything at the expense of others, but as craigmandu said, "The truth of the matter is when most people post a question on the forums, it is rare that they do it with an open mind and not a pre-conceived notion they are trying to get "validated"."

    Almost all of the "you guys are so mean" threads come about because of a discussion from a question someone asked and got good, honest, helpful feedback and continually gave excuses as to why they "can't" follow it. That's when the vets on here get frustrated. If you're going to ask for advice, don't shoot down every idea then complain when people stop giving you ideas.
  • aftergypsies
    aftergypsies Posts: 248 Member
    People get "brave" on the internet. They find they can say what they want without consequence. No worries. Hopefully one day their attitudes from the internet come out in real life and they use it to the wrong person and get punched in the face.

    This excuse of "we aren't rude - we're just HONEST" is a cop out. You do not have to be snide to be honest. It's a little thing called TACT. Some people just don't have any, unfortunately.
  • gogojodee
    gogojodee Posts: 1,243 Member
    1249359642345_zps76858689.gif


    bahaha.

    I love threads like this.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    If you are offended by these boards you should definitely avoid pregnancy boards!

    And wedding boards. My first post on The Knot did not end well. I asked for advice when you have parents involved in a wedding who do not get along and the first response was " If your parents pay for your wedding, you are just a spoiled brat. Adults pay for their own wedding". :ohwell:
  • boothekm
    boothekm Posts: 60 Member
    I wouldn't give people you don't agree with (who are not part of the circle of people you care for) the time of day.

    I was always taught that you do not try to correct people who you do not know or care for. It's just a waste of your time.

    Take time to correct/fight/disagree with those you love. Random strangers are probably not going to change their lifelong lack or difference of morals for you.
  • sweetpea03b
    sweetpea03b Posts: 1,123 Member
    Honestly after 5 years on and off with MFP I have learned (and strongly suggest to others) you take the information you receive in these forums with a grain of salt. Some might be great tips, some might be "self-made experts" or so they think... and alot of them really need hobbies and just love pi$$ing people off in these forums. So... at the risk of sounding like a 4th grade teacher... my advice is to THANK the ones that are helpful and IGNORE the ones that aren't.
  • Katina3333
    Katina3333 Posts: 259 Member
    bbgif.gif

    I don't know what's going on here but I am so glad that this gif has come into my life.


    Somebody popped the wrong pills that morning! :laugh:
  • tekwriter
    tekwriter Posts: 923 Member
    I too think rude to be mean to someone. If it is the 50th time you've seen why am I not losing weight, and you want to scream just pass that person by. It is most likely their first time.
  • d9123
    d9123 Posts: 531 Member
    People get "brave" on the internet. They find they can say what they want without consequence. No worries. Hopefully one day their attitudes from the internet come out in real life and they use it to the wrong person and get punched in the face.

    This excuse of "we aren't rude - we're just HONEST" is a cop out. You do not have to be snide to be honest. It's a little thing called TACT. Some people just don't have any, unfortunately.

    y u mad tho?
  • PAnn1
    PAnn1 Posts: 530 Member
    corrinnebrown I didn't bother to read all the pages of comments to your post, but I agree with you 100%!
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    I'm so sad I'm this late to the Internets today... This would have been a good place to hang out 10 pages ago. Damn.
  • WannaDizzolve
    WannaDizzolve Posts: 270 Member
    Thank you for bringing this issue to the forefront. You're right, some of the people on here lack any semblance of civility. Heck, you can see it in the comments on this post.

    i see this as an admin failure. A whisper of sex and they lock a thread, but people can treat each other with absolute disrespect and they let it go.
  • aftergypsies
    aftergypsies Posts: 248 Member
    People get "brave" on the internet. They find they can say what they want without consequence. No worries. Hopefully one day their attitudes from the internet come out in real life and they use it to the wrong person and get punched in the face.

    This excuse of "we aren't rude - we're just HONEST" is a cop out. You do not have to be snide to be honest. It's a little thing called TACT. Some people just don't have any, unfortunately.

    y u mad tho?

    Lol y u use memes from 3 yrs ago tho?
  • crista_b
    crista_b Posts: 1,192 Member
    Good for you. Go enjoy your new "friends" while you all congratulate each other for everything. The "rude" (read: honest) people on the forums will still be here working hard and offering real advice if anyone needs something a little more helpful than a pat on the back.
    Most of the people who congratulate themselves for their "honesty" just really never learned to distinguish between honesty and cruel frankness. Stopping ugly people on the street to tell them they are ugly is cruel frankness. Calling yourself out for your own shortcomings is honesty.
    However on the forums, when someone says something to the extent of "I eat 500 calories per day and exercise for 8 hours, but I can't lose any weight. HELP!" and someone replies with advice saying that they need to seriously up their calorie intake because their body can't properly function like that, but the OP doesn't want to, that doesn't make the person giving the advice rude. If that person were to go around to randomly look at food diaries of people that he/she is not friends with and just start leaving bits of "advice" like "you shouldn't have that much sodium" or "you're undereating," that would be. There's a difference.
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    On the positive side...I think this is the first "Why are people so mean" thread I've seen all week.

    Wait, is that even possible?
  • brainzap
    brainzap Posts: 145 Member
    YES
    4'11 girl: Is it ok if I eat 1,200 calories a day?
    People: NO UR GONNA STARVE UR GONNA SHRIVEL UP AND DIE EVERYONE NEEDS WAY MORE THAN 1,200 CALORIES UR GONNA STARVE AND DIE LOLZ UR DUMB EAT A SANDWICH
  • bonniecarbs
    bonniecarbs Posts: 446 Member
    I stopped reading the forums some time ago, saying the same thing you are saying. But I missed the forums, so I learned how to read them, and to just realize that all people are not nice like me! Enjoy the ones that you like, ignore the others and keep on stepping.
  • bgelliott
    bgelliott Posts: 610 Member
    Just here to observe...

    :indifferent:
  • dfurton83
    dfurton83 Posts: 36 Member
    Just remember sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me!! Unless of course, someone throws a dictionary at you. That my hurt.

    When I see a derogatory post I just ignore it and remember a lot of people who log on here have poor self esteem and feel better when putting others down, have been picked on by someone themselves or are just plain mean. Just be glad you aren't miserable with life enough to feel the need to post nasty comments. In the age of technology and anonymity a thick skin is needed no matter what type of forum you are visiting.

    My absolute favorite area on MFP are the success stories I stick reading to those. Most members post how they got to where they are now, they are very inspirational.
  • totalsham
    totalsham Posts: 217 Member
    Im new here, and i already see what the op is stating. its like they turn into vicious people after losing a few pounds only to lash at the same people who need help, advice and support like they did before losing the weight.
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