Serious Question for MILFS (pics)

I don't care what people say - I have a 4 year old "bolter" and for her safety, I have one. She picked it out (a little cow) and I explained to her what it was for. She loves it - I also have 3 other children, one a 2 month old and I need to know that she is safe whenever we go out. She loves to run and obviously at her age, she has no concept of danger.

Never. They're kids, not dogs.

That is uncalled for. I used reins and it kept them safe.

I was walking along the road the other day and to my utter horror a woman coming towards me suddenly shot towards the busy main road, it was then I realized that her little boy had darted away from her. When she grabbed hold of him, he was on the give-way lines and just about to cross into the traffic.

This is exactly the point, they are kids and kids can run about and they may not be road traffic-wise.

I agree, it is uncalled for. They make them for safety reasons and I hate when EVERYONE who hates them says "they're for dogs". They're really not, it's to keep your child safe, especially in crowds - there's crazy people out there who will just snatch your kid from you, even if you're holding their hand. If anyone wants to look at me crazy for keeping my child safe, keep looking because it doesn't phase me!

Those things are gross. I'm on my 4th kid who never needed that; they aren't necessary.

My son got up and walked when he was 9 months old, and from then on refused to sit in a stroller or be picked up. I got a harness because he was simply too short for me to hold his hand. Worked for us.

I leash my kids and let my dogs run loose.

Honestly in my opinion I would never 'harness' my child. That is like leading them on a leash and they most certainly are not a furry little pup.

My daughter holds my hand and sometimes holds my pocket to stay close which has worked extremely well as she now prefers it and feels sad if I don't. It just doesn't feel right to me to leash a child.

I can't even believe this is an issue. If you have a bolter, or are in a busy place/ near a road then it makes sense. What are the arguments against it? Do people think it's 'cheating' or somehow demeaning for the child? 'Um sorry you got run over, kid, people were too concerned about your rights to freedom or that the other parents might judge.'

Do we not get enough judgement in the world without people judging each other over the use of a harness ffs? If you use a harness in the car or the stroller, why not on the street? Also, a minor point but they can save many a scraped knee if a newly walking toddler trips up.

And we did have them in the 70s cos I have pics of me in one, and I used one with my oldest son when he was little (he's now 18) as he was rather clumsy. I don't think they are over protective at all, just another tool in the box.

Edit : People who 'don't agree with them'....what is there, 'not to agree' with? Is this another American over-reaction as I've never heard of it even being an issue over here in the UK.

I put one on mine as soon as she could walk. I didn't stop until she was old enough to know not to bolt at the very first opportunity, which was about early 4 years old. We used to joke that my daughter couldn't walk, she could only run. My wife was born with the tendency to daydream and be easily distracted; her occasional absent mindedness was NOT a good combination with a bolting toddler, it takes only one mistake to lose my daughter forever. Harnesses are not illegal, so I would rather see the sneer of total strangers than the lifeless body of my daughter after a car ran over her.

I put one on mine as soon as she could walk. I didn't stop until she was old enough to know not to bolt at the very first opportunity, which was about early 4 years old. We used to joke that my daughter couldn't walk, she could only run. My wife was born with the tendency to daydream and be easily distracted; her occasional absent mindedness was NOT a good combination with a bolting toddler, it takes only one mistake to lose my daughter forever. Harnesses are not illegal, so I would rather see the sneer of total strangers than the lifeless body of my daughter after a car ran over her.

Excellent post :flowerforyou:

I am completely and totally against them. That being said, I do NOT have children myself.

However, I did raise my niece, who was always a hyperactive child, and a good strong grip of her hand did the trick just fine. They don't have to be holding onto your hand for you to hold onto theirs. That's just my opinion though. Hopefully I don't offend anyone. I don't agree with the "leashes are for dogs" thing. You put your dog on a leash so they don't run into traffic and die, not BECAUSE they are an animal.

I was just telling my cousins a story about this yesterday. When I was a kid, my mother used them on my brothers (twins and bolters) and me (an independent wanderer). We were at the mall when my brothers were about 2-3 so I was 5-6. A lady came up to my mom and went off on her about how her kids weren't animals and shouldn't be leashed like dogs, etc.. We happened to be standing at in the center court where the 4 wings of the mall met. My mom said, "She goes that way, he goes this way, and he goes the other way, which one do I chase and whose two heads end up in the river?" Mom said the lady turned white, shut her mouth, and walked off. This was just a couple years after the Adam Walsh kidnapping.

With most everything to do with child rearing, I firmly believe you have to do what's best for the child and your family. If a harness is what is needed to keep them safe, then so be it.

If you kid is a known bolter and is willing to wear a harness, go for it. Safety first, right? It's not about what other people will think of seeing your child in a harness; it's what's appropriate for your child's safety.

I only wish I could've gotten my youngest to wear a harness when he was a toddler. But he'd have a total meltdown with it on. Screaming, punching, kicking, the whole nine yards. Couldn't even get him to hold my hand without him clawing and biting me. Ended up just having to stick by his side like glue when we were in a parking lot or sidewalk street. So glad he outgrew that stage.

or leashes

I'm calling bull on this argument. Not everyone did make it. There were lots of deaths due to accidents. Just look up the statistics. It's one of the reasons we now have carseats, seatbelts, and helmets. My mom remembers them being told to put babies underneath the front dash, where the passengers feet would go. Can you imagine doing that now? And what would happen?

I have a cousin still dealing with a traumatic brain injury that happened when he was 10, my father had a cousin accidentally shoot another cousin when they were 7, my father in law lost a sister when they were 7 to drowning. These things happen, just nobody ever talks about it. We were lucky, Dave.

That's the key. Not everyone is going to make it no matter what we do. Take some precautions, take some risks. Everyone has to draw the line for themselves. The question was "would i" and then answer is "no, never". Everyone else is free to do as they see fit.

If you kid is a known bolter and is willing to wear a harness, go for it. Safety first, right? It's not about what other people will think of seeing your child in a harness; it's what's appropriate for your child's safety.

I only wish I could've gotten my youngest to wear a harness when he was a toddler. But he'd have a total meltdown with it on. Screaming, punching, kicking, the whole nine yards. Couldn't even get him to hold my hand without him clawing and biting me. Ended up just having to stick by his side like glue when we were in a parking lot or sidewalk street. So glad he outgrew that stage.

No, problem with it. If your kid likes to take off and run. Times are different now, kids getting snatched up more these days.

I have two children, 4 and 7, and have never used one. I don't really like them and would not use one unless it was an extreme situation. We go out all the time, multiple trips to Disney and we've managed. If your child is a bolter, I can understand the impulse to use one. However, if you start using one as soon as they start walking, how are they going to learn to pay attention to whats around them and stay with you if you are always doing it for them with the harness? Just my opinion.

I think that's rather like saying we won't learn to drive safely if we always have a seatbelt on. Or you equally apply that argument to holding their hand - how will they learn if you hold onto them? Yet they still learn how to be safe. You would still be explaining how to cross roads/ not to go off with strangers etc. You don't use a harness in place of parenting, anymore than holding their hand is.