Serious Question for MILFS (pics)
Replies
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18- when they turn into kids that sit on the computer all the live long day and your husband says they can if they want because they are "18 now and their own person and make their own decisions"I SAY USE IT TILL THIER 18
my 19 yr old is like that, but has dads SKINNY GENES at least
but my 18 yr old (how spent plenty of time being help or in the stroller because he was a bolter) still climbs trees, makes tanks out of balsa wood and has battles. uses his jumping Stilts, etc....0 -
I never used one nore will I ever!! IF your child is a "bolter" then they shouldn't be walking around. They should be in a stroller. and if they are defiant kids than some discipline needs to be done and they also need to HIGHLY taught of the dangers of "bolting" away from mommy OR daddy.
IF your child is Autistic then placing them on a leash isnt going to do much but upset them more... Put them in a stroller with seat belts...
I think children are human, not canine, and (with intelligent enough parents) are capable of being taught not to run off. If they are not old enough to be taught not to run off, they are probably not old enough to walk very long distances anyway and should either be carried or in a stroller....Children also have hands, not paws, that can be held when walking places.
If the child is running off they are clearly not getting appropriate discipline and teachings from the parent. My daughter not allowed to leave the house without holding our hands They ignored She has ignored me on a few occasion to test me, and we went home. period. Eventually she got it.. and how dangerous it is out...
A leash for a chid is not the answer because it is only temporarily solving the problem it is not teaching the child anything. The child needs to be free to walk in order to teach safety, and right from wrong.
AND the reason we put them on our dogs is cause ITS THE LAW!!!! I have 2 large German Shepherds, both which I have trained very well, they are OFF leash trained and walk by my side 100% of the time, and aren't distracted by anything... BECAUSE THEY ARE TRAINED/taught AND DISCIPLINED! .I would love to walk them off leash BUT the law says i cant!
better hold on tight to the reigns of that high horse of yours. It's a long way down.0 -
We raised three boys each about 14 months younger than the one preceding. Thus, at one point, they were 5, 4, and 3. We never used the leash-type thingies. But I do not begrudge anyone else the right to do differently.0
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I so agree with the lazy part...when we were raising our children(25 and 21) they were available but we chose not to use them and most of that reason was we felt we would be lazy if we did. I see people with the kids at the end of the leash while they are looking in store window etc. and totally ignoring the child. We didn't want to be those kind of parents and we felt the best way to do that was to always be engaged with our children when they were with us. This also included family gatherings etc. where we would be called the cruise directors cause we were always with the kids...all the kids while the other parents sat and drank and socialized. Just my opinion and everyone has their own way!!Never. But that's just my opinion.
This. I have two children, now 15 and 10. I never "harnessed" them or put them on a leash. I held their hands or put them in a stroller or a cart. My honest opinion? It's dehumanizing and lazy. And, I'm not trying to offend, I'm just giving you an opinion...something we all have and which was asked for by the OP.
I actually sort of agree with the laziness factor here. It is HARD work to keep an eye on your kid at all times. It's much easier to strap them into a harness and look when you feel it tug. I'm certainly not saying that all people who use harnesses do this, but I feel that many parents do see it as an easier way to handle the kid and not as a necessary safety precaution.
but isn't, like some have said on this thread "if they are likely to bolt, they should be in a stroller" just as lazy?
What are you suggesting? When your 1-2 year old child is too young to understand the dangers of traffic, that you'd have no safeguard at all? just your own interaction with them, like warning a child that young not to run in the road and expecting them to listen? Or would you have them in a stroller (that would be just as lazy as reins, if not more so because you just have to push them...... you can't actually get anywhere if your child is going crazy on the end of reins, you actually do have to teach them to walk next to you unless you just want to stand around while they run circles around you)....?
IMO it's no easier to control a child when they're wearing reins than when they're not. The only difference is if they're wearing them, they can't get as far as the wheels of a motor vehicle before you can stop them.0 -
I have a 9 year old and a 2 year old, never used one with either of them, I put my daughter in the stroller and go. My son is old enough to listen.0
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I never used one nore will I ever!! IF your child is a "bolter" then they shouldn't be walking around. They should be in a stroller. and if they are defiant kids than some discipline needs to be done and they also need to HIGHLY taught of the dangers of "bolting" away from mommy OR daddy.
IF your child is Autistic then placing them on a leash isnt going to do much but upset them more... Put them in a stroller with seat belts...
I think children are human, not canine, and (with intelligent enough parents) are capable of being taught not to run off. If they are not old enough to be taught not to run off, they are probably not old enough to walk very long distances anyway and should either be carried or in a stroller....Children also have hands, not paws, that can be held when walking places.
If the child is running off they are clearly not getting appropriate discipline and teachings from the parent. My daughter not allowed to leave the house without holding our hands They ignored She has ignored me on a few occasion to test me, and we went home. period. Eventually she got it.. and how dangerous it is out...
A leash for a chid is not the answer because it is only temporarily solving the problem it is not teaching the child anything. The child needs to be free to walk in order to teach safety, and right from wrong.
AND the reason we put them on our dogs is cause ITS THE LAW!!!! I have 2 large German Shepherds, both which I have trained very well, they are OFF leash trained and walk by my side 100% of the time, and aren't distracted by anything... BECAUSE THEY ARE TRAINED/taught AND DISCIPLINED! .I would love to walk them off leash BUT the law says i cant!
Hmmm, I think our children are very different from each other :laugh:
Mine had more brains then sense. By the time they were 1 and could walk, they were working on figuring out how to get out of their car seats and stroller harnesses. And they could problem solve their way out. Of course, their mother (me) figured out how to unscrew the screen window in her bedroom and sneak out - at 2 years old. So, it shouldn't be too big of a shock.
One of my kids is on the autism spectrum, part of what that meant for him is that he didn't know the difference between what could just cause a little injury, and a "dead thing". That was my job as a parent, until he could work it out.
Yes, children can be taught. But, there is an in between time when they are learning, but yet are incredibly fast and lacking in any kind of sense of danger. They are children, not robots.0 -
I've never used one on either of my kids. My kids are 7 and 3, both very good at holding hands with me or daddy (or the adult they are with). Both know the dangers of the street, they can walk a bit ahead of me and dad, and know to stop at a street or ally and wait for a grown up.
It's personal opinion, but I don't like the harnessing idea. I'd much rather teach my kids about how to act when walking without walking them like a dog....
To each their own though, do what works for you
Unless it comes to an animal! Dogs should be walked on leashes and NOT CARRIED OR PUSHED IN A 'DOG STROLLER"... just sayin
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I never used one nore will I ever!! IF your child is a "bolter" then they shouldn't be walking around. They should be in a stroller.
Sorry but no. They should be walking for the good of their health. The USA has a childhood obesity crisis, yet you want to confine kids to strollers until they're old enough to learn to walk without reins? How ridiculous. How are they going to learn road safety if they're in a stroller? With reins, they can walk from as soon as they're able to walk, get strong legs, learn road sense, and it's a lot easier to teach your child to hold your hand, stop at the kerb, not run away, and all the rest, if they're on reins. Can you teach them that in a stroller? The answer is you can't. However you can teach them that if they're on reins. They learn that while they're a toddler and by the time they're 3-4, they'll not only be able to be trusted to walk next to you, hold your hand, stop at the kerb, understand road safety, they'll also have really strong legs.
I regularly went on long walks with my parents as a small child, at 5 I walked 8km one time. Do you really think I could have done that if my parents had had me in a stroller? No. I was on reins as soon as I could walk.
Glad someone else answered that with a sensible answer.
Can I just askthat If my child is a bolter HOW are they ever going to learn about road safely if they are strapped into a buggy. What should I do once they out grow a pushchair? Are you offering to push them around for me>
My eldest has autism and was a bolter. If we always took him out in a pushchair he would have never learnt road safety. He would wear a wrist strap in case he bolted (which would happen) but after a long rime he learnt the 'rules' and now at 13 can safely cross roads etc. I'm not a lazy or bad parent but I had to put my son safety first.
I also have 3 other children and my as I said above I use a harness with my youngest as she also has issues. The other two were very quick to pick up that they had to hold your hand etc and I never needed a harness with them.0 -
I will be getting a harness for my 2 year old for when I travel back to Michigan to visit my family. I have a 6 month old as well. I will be flying by myself with both of them. I have flown with the 2 year old 5 times since she has been born, and believe me, having multiple layovers and having to navigate through large, busy airports is scary. Now that I will be doing it, alone again, with 2 littles, you can bet your @ss my little girl is going to have a harness on. I can't imagine what I would do if something happened to her.
And no, a stroller isn't an option. Trust me, I have tried literally everything when travelling with my daughter, even one of those straps that attaches the car seat to a carry-on piece of luggage making it so that the child can sit in the car seat and roll with the luggage. All the things are too large and cumbersome with one child, let alone two children. My kids safety is way more important to me than anything else.0 -
I never used one nore will I ever!! IF your child is a "bolter" then they shouldn't be walking around. They should be in a stroller. and if they are defiant kids than some discipline needs to be done and they also need to HIGHLY taught of the dangers of "bolting" away from mommy OR daddy.
IF your child is Autistic then placing them on a leash isnt going to do much but upset them more... Put them in a stroller with seat belts...
I think children are human, not canine, and (with intelligent enough parents) are capable of being taught not to run off. If they are not old enough to be taught not to run off, they are probably not old enough to walk very long distances anyway and should either be carried or in a stroller....Children also have hands, not paws, that can be held when walking places.
If the child is running off they are clearly not getting appropriate discipline and teachings from the parent. My daughter not allowed to leave the house without holding our hands They ignored She has ignored me on a few occasion to test me, and we went home. period. Eventually she got it.. and how dangerous it is out...
A leash for a chid is not the answer because it is only temporarily solving the problem it is not teaching the child anything. The child needs to be free to walk in order to teach safety, and right from wrong.
AND the reason we put them on our dogs is cause ITS THE LAW!!!! I have 2 large German Shepherds, both which I have trained very well, they are OFF leash trained and walk by my side 100% of the time, and aren't distracted by anything... BECAUSE THEY ARE TRAINED/taught AND DISCIPLINED! .I would love to walk them off leash BUT the law says i cant!
Hmmm, I think our children are very different from each other :laugh:
Mine had more brains then sense. By the time they were 1 and could walk, they were working on figuring out how to get out of their car seats and stroller harnesses. And they could problem solve their way out. Of course, their mother (me) figured out how to unscrew the screen window in her bedroom and sneak out - at 2 years old. So, it shouldn't be too big of a shock.
One of my kids is on the autism spectrum, part of what that meant for him is that he didn't know the difference between what could just cause a little injury, and a "dead thing". That was my job as a parent, until he could work it out.
Yes, children can be taught. But, there is an in between time when they are learning, but yet are incredibly fast and lacking in any kind of sense of danger. They are children, not robots.
^^ all children are different. I agree with the above. You need to do what is right for you and your child. Just because we all don't agree doesn't mean you are doing the wrong thing when it comes to your kids 0 -
And why is this question for "MILFS"?? That doesn't even make sense.
THANK YOU!0 -
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24 years i ago i used the wrist type for my twins at the mall. it only took 15 mins or so to get them untangled ( lol). seriously, if your comfortable with it and it makes your children safer, then use them. some pple are just put off by the way they look while not considering their function and to those folks i say " mind your own business and i'll mind mine". But since you ask....0
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Only appropriate if your child has special needs.
End of dscussion.0 -
Why is this question only for the hot moms??
Because only our opinion's count. Just like in the real world.
Anyways, even though I knew people might hate it, I had to use one for my youngest. My oldest was more wary and cautious. My youngest was raised in a big city and was a runner! He was just out for whatever he can see as fast as possible, consequences be damned. So all of a sudden friends and family were gifting them to me or handing them down to me left and right when we realized we had a runner on our hands. Cute one's that look like little backpacks or stuffed creatures, monkeys and stuff. Handholding did not work, he wiggled free very easily and quickly and that's precisely how family became aware, they thought.oO( she must be doing it wrong, let me try) only to have him wiggle free and take off on them. It's like he was made with a coating of butter. So that's when the leash gifts came pouring in and were believe me well received and not offended at all. (previously we were all vehemently against them, but it was clear they were necessary now).
He made it through toddlerdom and now is leash free but walking into rails since he likes to look back and talk to people behind him when walking forward.
Yes. Pray for me. Skateboards, bikes are next. Yikes!0 -
I never used one nore will I ever!! IF your child is a "bolter" then they shouldn't be walking around. They should be in a stroller. and if they are defiant kids than some discipline needs to be done and they also need to HIGHLY taught of the dangers of "bolting" away from mommy OR daddy.
IF your child is Autistic then placing them on a leash isnt going to do much but upset them more... Put them in a stroller with seat belts...
I think children are human, not canine, and (with intelligent enough parents) are capable of being taught not to run off. If they are not old enough to be taught not to run off, they are probably not old enough to walk very long distances anyway and should either be carried or in a stroller....Children also have hands, not paws, that can be held when walking places.
If the child is running off they are clearly not getting appropriate discipline and teachings from the parent. My daughter not allowed to leave the house without holding our hands They ignored She has ignored me on a few occasion to test me, and we went home. period. Eventually she got it.. and how dangerous it is out...
A leash for a chid is not the answer because it is only temporarily solving the problem it is not teaching the child anything. The child needs to be free to walk in order to teach safety, and right from wrong.
AND the reason we put them on our dogs is cause ITS THE LAW!!!! I have 2 large German Shepherds, both which I have trained very well, they are OFF leash trained and walk by my side 100% of the time, and aren't distracted by anything... BECAUSE THEY ARE TRAINED/taught AND DISCIPLINED! .I would love to walk them off leash BUT the law says i cant!
better hold on tight to the reigns of that high horse of yours. It's a long way down.
Silly Allons! She doesn't need reins, she and the horse are so well trained that they are completely unnecessary.0 -
Only appropriate if your child has special needs.
End of dscussion.
Ridiculous.
People have got themselves all worked up because of a tenuous association between leads/ leashes and dogs, and are prepared to put their kids at risk rather than look different.
Are you going to take your kid's car seat away now? Is that dehumanising too?
What about safety gates on stairs? That makes your kid look like a little animal in a zoo. Dehumanising! Take them away. The kid will learn not to fall down the stairs!0 -
I used one occasionally for my eldest kids after having a major panic when my eldest legged it in a large clothing store when he was around 1 years old but I haven't used them for my youngest 3 - yet anyway. I thought it was pretty weird when I saw someone putting reins on their 3 year old the other day as I feel my 3 year old is quite grown up most of the time and she goes to school and everything but she has gone missing a few times when shes become distracted so maybe its not that odd to put reins on a 3 year old after all.
I know it can be difficult to keep my lot (5 kids 9 and under) in check sometimes when we're out and make sure no one is drifting towards the road(!) so, whatever you have to do to keep them safe.0 -
i always used them. i have 5 kids, and i live in southern california where its pretty fast and busy. i started using these once my kids started walking, and then stopped once they either hit about 4 or it got too tight... i think they are fine! the kids like it because it leaves both their hands free, and, they are not a hostage to a stroller!
***now, if i could just find a bigger size for my 15 year old!0 -
I didn't bother reading any of the other pages of this so if someone else said this, I apologize.
I don't see the problem. It gives your child the freedom to walk/run without running AWAY/into traffic/getting lost. How is that a bad thing?
Another bonus, it gives the kid exercise instead of making them sit in a stroller or being carried or any of that. And on a site like MFP I'd think that would be a big seller--even kids need their exercise!0 -
What other people do to keep their kids safe isn't my business. I have one, I've never used it.
My daughter ran away from me and toward a road once - we were at home and I was in our garden -- she was three and had NEVER done anything like that before and I literally, looked down at my foot because I felt a sharp pain, looked back up and she was GONE - that fear is indescribable. If I was going to wonder around a city, I would use it. If I was taking her to a big zoo or amusement park without another adult, I'd use it. If there were two adults and one kid -- I might not. Two kids and two adults -- eh, I would definitely take it. It so easy to get distracted for literally 5 seconds. I am sorry, I am not so foolhardy as to think I am a perfect parent who is ALWAYS on top of it. I am also not foolhardy enough to think a toddler has the mental ability to understand the complexities of dangerous situation.
To every parent here who is slamming these -- you've apparently never had a close call or you'd be keeping your traps shut. You are lucky, but in all likelihood your day is coming. If you don't have kids and are her saying they are terrible... hahaha. Really, you have NO idea.0 -
My parents just taught us to never run into the street for any reason and reinforced it constantly until it became ingrained.0
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Only appropriate if your child has special needs.
End of dscussion.
No. Try not to be so trite because then what if there's a mom out there who really needs it and thinks it will mark her child as being "special needs" and refrains from using one when it might be necessary and the kid ends up hurt? Try to think of the unexpected, some kids are just more active and less predictable, it could have to do with anything from hearing problems to eyesight to just a regular sense of adventure and a big zest for life?
I almost feel like editing my above post due to your answer and not wanting anyone to think my kid is that. However, I'm gonna try to stand my ground here that those things were invented for a reason, there's a reason they come in toddler sizes cause those little guys can be incredibly spontaneous and strong and hard to handle sometimes. Male or female, special needs or not. Crowded places can get scary if you're kid decides to suddenly run amock and you're carrying bags or luggage or whatnot. Try not to judge other people. Just try. Really, take a deep breath....and try. If it's too hard for you, maybe you should go have yourself evaluated, you might have special needs.0 -
I love this response. Might I add, kids need to be bolters or runners in order to use harnesses. Also, put them on your kid if your kid wants to walk "like a big boy/girl" without holding your hand. This is a good compromise.Never. They're kids, not dogs.
Why do you put them on your dogs? Because you love them? Do you love your kids less?
Also, use them if you have other things in your hand - bags, a stroller, another child.
Just because parents survived without harnesses in the past doesn't mean they're not a great idea now. How many of you lived without cell phones, GPSs, or microwaves in the past, but you have one today?0 -
Under the age of 5, children's elbow joints are immature and can be prone to dislocation. It is suggested to never attempt to restrain a struggling child by hand or arm, but to use the trunk instead. So if a child is exceptionally wiggly, a leash can make sense for them.
I have a 5 year old who is by nature calm and cautious who never tugged while I was holding his hand. I have an 18 month old who is ready to conquer the world. While I haven't used a leash I have absolutely thought about it for trips we're planning to the zoo and Sea World.
I have noticed from years of observing this argument that generally the ones most vocally against it either don't have kids or have the one calm kid you get first that tricks you into having more. :laugh:
Of all the things parents do this just really doesn't even belong on anyone's judgmental radar. They're using it to ensure safety, not because they're lazy parents who want to dehumanize their kids.0 -
Those things are gross. I'm on my 4th kid who never needed that; they aren't necessary.
Maybe they are/were not necessary for your children but they were for mine and for many parents as reflected in this forum. So please don't generalize.
Mi kids were both bolters, and runners, specially the oldest and only 1 year apart. My husband and I used to spend more time running and looking after them than enjoying our trips to the mall or the park. It was heart wrenching and upsetting, so I had the oldest one in a harness until he was almost three years old because I knew that his brother would not run away without him.
To the OP, just do what is best for you and your children and trust your wife's judgment. No need to ask advice or opinion in MFP. As you can see there are very different and nasty opinions in here.0 -
As a mother of a 7 yr old and a 2.5 yr old, I find it quite sad to see a child leashed like a dog.
These are the choices I give my 2.5 yr old, he either a) walks nicely with me and holds my hand along busy roads or crossing the street or b) he looses ALL privilages of walking and must be put into the ring sling (I never bothered purchasing or using a stroller for him and chose to use carriers since he was an infant). That's it, only the 2 choices. If you use a stroller or a wagon, then use that.
I am a no nonsense type of parent though and expect my children to act appropriately. This is done by my example above. You either do as your told or you loose out, its that simple. You want to run into the street or away from me, your in the (insert whatever you use, such as the stroller or carrier). Its that simple with me.0 -
Under the age of 5, children's elbow joints are immature and can be prone to dislocation. It is suggested to never attempt to restrain a struggling child by hand or arm, but to use the trunk instead. So if a child is exceptionally wiggly, a leash can make sense for them.
I have a 5 year old who is by nature calm and cautious who never tugged while I was holding his hand. I have an 18 month old who is ready to conquer the world. While I haven't used a leash I have absolutely thought about it for trips we're planning to the zoo and Sea World.
I have noticed from years of observing this argument that generally the ones most vocally against it either don't have kids or have the one calm kid you get first that tricks you into having more. :laugh:
Of all the things parents do this just really doesn't even belong on anyone's judgmental radar. They're using it to ensure safety, not because they're lazy parents who want to dehumanize their kids.
QFT....i remember saying over and over how "easy" it was to have a kid based on my first one, and I don't know what all these people are complaining about? Kids are easy! LMAO :laugh:0 -
When my son was a bit over a year old and I flew to another state to see my sister, I used one. There was no way I could carry/hold his hand while I also managed our baggage and his carseat in and out of two busy airports as I had no one to help me.
That's the only time I recall using it (it's been almost 10 years) but it was seriously a lifesaver then.
They're not always necessary but there is nothing wrong with using them when you need to. Safety before dignity, although I highly doubt there are many 2 or 3 year olds who are overly concerned with how dignified they look. Most of them probably love the cute animals that often are a part of the harnesses and enjoy that extra 12-24" of freedom they get from the harness as opposed just holding their mom or dad's hand.0 -
What I find fascinating about this discussion, is that strollers are being hailed as the "correct" alternative for reins ("leashes")
I really don't understand why.
No matter how good a parent you think you are, your child will go through a phase where they don't have the neurological capacity to understand the danger of traffic, even though they can walk and run. This is the age/developmental stage for which reins are designed. Those who are against reins, say that kids at this age/developmental stage should be in a stroller. WHY???
- on reins they are walking next to you, getting exercise. in a stroller they are completely sedentary
- on reins they can explore a little and interact with their surroundings. in a stroller they just passively watch
- on reins they are in control of where they walk. in a stroller, the mother controls where they go
- on reins, you still have to teach your child to walk next to you, you will get precisely nowhere if you don't. You have to have some degree of control and discipline over them just to walk down the street. In a stroller you don't do that, they're strapped in and you push them where you want to go
- on reins, you need to interact with your child, at the bare minimum you need to get them to walk in the right direction (or actually walk, not just sit, etc). In a stroller you don't need to interact at all, you just push them
- on reins, you have the opportunity to teach your child to stop at the kerb. in a stroller the child can't even see the kerb and will probably never hear you say the word kerb
- on reins you can hold your child's hand, you wrap the reins strap around your wrist, then hold their hand. It's no different to walking without reins, except that if they do make a dash for the traffic, the reins strap around your wrist will stop them getting far enough to get hurt. In a stroller, you can't hold your child's hand while you walk.
- on reins your child is getting exercise, building up their leg bones and muscles, in a stroller, they're not. Yes I know I already said that, but it's such an important point, I felt it deserved being emphasised.
I'm not talking about using them for older children who are able to comprehend the dangers of traffic (unless they have learning disabilities) - I'm talking about kids at the developmental stage that usually happens between age 1 and 3, where they don't yet have the ability to understand.... pro-reins parents have those kids on reins, the haters of reins say they should be on strollers.
As for doing all the above with a child that young without the reins, well yes you can, but if you are on a busy street, by a river or whatever, I'd rather not play russian roulette with my child's safety, just because a few parents in the USA think that it looks a little bit like a dog lead, or that it's better for them to be in a stroller than actually using their legs. If you're certain your 1 year old can be trusted by a busy road without reins, then that's your call.
So please explain to me why a stroller is better than reins for kids in this stage of developement.0
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