Serious Question for MILFS (pics)

Options
1…457910…20

Replies

  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Options
    As a mother of a 7 yr old and a 2.5 yr old, I find it quite sad to see a child leashed like a dog.

    These are the choices I give my 2.5 yr old, he either a) walks nicely with me and holds my hand along busy roads or crossing the street or b) he looses ALL privilages of walking and must be put into the ring sling (I never bothered purchasing or using a stroller for him and chose to use carriers since he was an infant). That's it, only the 2 choices. If you use a stroller or a wagon, then use that.

    I am a no nonsense type of parent though and expect my children to act appropriately. This is done by my example above. You either do as your told or you loose out, its that simple. You want to run into the street or away from me, your in the (insert whatever you use, such as the stroller or carrier). Its that simple with me.

    But what if after all this, the kid still gets lose?

    ( I guess you have a point though. I guess for some people life really does need to be simplified, doesn't it?)
  • Lauren8239
    Lauren8239 Posts: 1,039 Member
    Options
    I never used one nore will I ever!! IF your child is a "bolter" then they shouldn't be walking around. They should be in a stroller. and if they are defiant kids than some discipline needs to be done and they also need to HIGHLY taught of the dangers of "bolting" away from mommy OR daddy.
    IF your child is Autistic then placing them on a leash isnt going to do much but upset them more... Put them in a stroller with seat belts...
    I think children are human, not canine, and (with intelligent enough parents) are capable of being taught not to run off. If they are not old enough to be taught not to run off, they are probably not old enough to walk very long distances anyway and should either be carried or in a stroller....Children also have hands, not paws, that can be held when walking places.
    If the child is running off they are clearly not getting appropriate discipline and teachings from the parent. My daughter not allowed to leave the house without holding our hands They ignored She has ignored me on a few occasion to test me, and we went home. period. Eventually she got it.. and how dangerous it is out...

    A leash for a chid is not the answer because it is only temporarily solving the problem it is not teaching the child anything. The child needs to be free to walk in order to teach safety, and right from wrong.



    AND the reason we put them on our dogs is cause ITS THE LAW!!!! I have 2 large German Shepherds, both which I have trained very well, they are OFF leash trained and walk by my side 100% of the time, and aren't distracted by anything... BECAUSE THEY ARE TRAINED/taught AND DISCIPLINED! .I would love to walk them off leash BUT the law says i cant!


    I feel very very sad for you. Seriously.
  • Tamm04
    Tamm04 Posts: 182 Member
    Options
    Honestly for us it was NEVER even an option to put our children on a 'leash'. Our dog yes, but not our kids :wink: Our two girls learned quickly to hold our hands and stay with us, or there were sudden and quick consequences, like sitting down or missing out on something fun we were about to do until they were willing to stay with us. Once they realized we meant it, it wasn't an issue. We of course also took the time as they were sitting (and also later) to tell them why it was important to stay with us.
  • Otterluv
    Otterluv Posts: 9,083 Member
    Options
    As a mother of a 7 yr old and a 2.5 yr old, I find it quite sad to see a child leashed like a dog.

    These are the choices I give my 2.5 yr old, he either a) walks nicely with me and holds my hand along busy roads or crossing the street or b) he looses ALL privilages of walking and must be put into the ring sling (I never bothered purchasing or using a stroller for him and chose to use carriers since he was an infant). That's it, only the 2 choices. If you use a stroller or a wagon, then use that.

    I am a no nonsense type of parent though and expect my children to act appropriately. This is done by my example above. You either do as your told or you loose out, its that simple. You want to run into the street or away from me, your in the (insert whatever you use, such as the stroller or carrier). Its that simple with me.

    But what if after all this, the kid still gets lose?

    ( I guess you have a point though. I guess for some people life really does need to be simplified, doesn't it?)

    Yep, quick black and white answers or they just get loost. Subtleties and grey areas are hard for some people.
  • runzalot81
    runzalot81 Posts: 782 Member
    Options
    My son never needed it. He's not a runner and he doesn't have special needs. I do understand how it would be appropriate for different personalities.
  • chubbymama07
    chubbymama07 Posts: 12
    Options
    i have a 2 year old boy, and i use ours at places like the zoo, mall. ect.. any busy place where if he took off i'd have a hard time finding him. I couldn't honestly care less who is against it, my son is my NUMBER ONE priority and i will do anything in my power to keep him safe. he can not get to far away from me with it, nor can someone snatch him up and run off before i knew it, which btw is one of any mothers biggest fears i would think! Ours buckles to his back, no more uncomfortable than a back pack, and he loves the thing, he actually wears it around the house sometimes because he thinks the monkey on his back is pretty cool :)
  • candacefausset
    candacefausset Posts: 297 Member
    Options
    I used to think those things were awful! I always said I would never put my child on a leash but after having my first child, I sometimes consider them and think I might go buy one. My 20 mo daughter is really good about holding hands with us whenever she is walking beside us. But sometimes she pulls if she sees something exciting. She has yet to let go and I normally hold firmly on my end but I would never shame a parent who uses one now as I can see the importance. Increases in traffic, urban and metro areas as well as general population over the last 50 years has really made it dangerous for children sometimes. I used to think it was just bad parenting or lazy parenting but now having my own 20 mo, I realize, they can get fast! And knowing that two seconds of her running fast before I realize she is headed in the direction of a busy street, was all it would take for me to lose her forever, I vote for doing what makes it easier for you to feel your child is safe. Especially if you have multiple young ones.

    Parents who shame or look down on another parent for doing so need to get over themselves.
  • chubbymama07
    chubbymama07 Posts: 12
    Options
    hmmm.. i own one for my 2 year old boy, he LOVES it
  • chubbymama07
    chubbymama07 Posts: 12
    Options
    I never used one nore will I ever!! IF your child is a "bolter" then they shouldn't be walking around. They should be in a stroller. and if they are defiant kids than some discipline needs to be done and they also need to HIGHLY taught of the dangers of "bolting" away from mommy OR daddy.
    IF your child is Autistic then placing them on a leash isnt going to do much but upset them more... Put them in a stroller with seat belts...
    I think children are human, not canine, and (with intelligent enough parents) are capable of being taught not to run off. If they are not old enough to be taught not to run off, they are probably not old enough to walk very long distances anyway and should either be carried or in a stroller....Children also have hands, not paws, that can be held when walking places.
    If the child is running off they are clearly not getting appropriate discipline and teachings from the parent. My daughter not allowed to leave the house without holding our hands They ignored She has ignored me on a few occasion to test me, and we went home. period. Eventually she got it.. and how dangerous it is out...

    A leash for a chid is not the answer because it is only temporarily solving the problem it is not teaching the child anything. The child needs to be free to walk in order to teach safety, and right from wrong.



    AND the reason we put them on our dogs is cause ITS THE LAW!!!! I have 2 large German Shepherds, both which I have trained very well, they are OFF leash trained and walk by my side 100% of the time, and aren't distracted by anything... BECAUSE THEY ARE TRAINED/taught AND DISCIPLINED! .I would love to walk them off leash BUT the law says i cant!


    Hmmm, I think our children are very different from each other :laugh:

    Mine had more brains then sense. By the time they were 1 and could walk, they were working on figuring out how to get out of their car seats and stroller harnesses. And they could problem solve their way out. Of course, their mother (me) figured out how to unscrew the screen window in her bedroom and sneak out - at 2 years old. So, it shouldn't be too big of a shock.

    One of my kids is on the autism spectrum, part of what that meant for him is that he didn't know the difference between what could just cause a little injury, and a "dead thing". That was my job as a parent, until he could work it out.

    Yes, children can be taught. But, there is an in between time when they are learning, but yet are incredibly fast and lacking in any kind of sense of danger. They are children, not robots.

    ^^ all children are different. I agree with the above. You need to do what is right for you and your child. Just because we all don't agree doesn't mean you are doing the wrong thing when it comes to your kids =)









    Every child is different and every mother will have her own way to mother thier children. You are absolutely ridiculous to think that every 2 year old will want to SIT in a stroller for hours while at the zoo, mall. ect... i think that THAT is way more miserable than being able to let them walk and play safely close to thier mothers/fathers. I'm usually not an argumentative person but when it comes to children and raising them, i think your negative opinions should stay in your head!
  • CristinaL1983
    CristinaL1983 Posts: 1,119 Member
    Options
    I remember the last thread on this.

    This is normal in the UK, kids are on reins (what they're called in the UK) generally because it's better for them to walk than be in a push chair (aka stroller) from a young age, and the reins stop the child from running into traffic. UK pavements (aka sidewalks) are usually quite narrow so your kid only has to dash about a metre and a half before they're in danger. UK kids often go walking rather than being in a stroller from age 1 or 2, which is too young for them to be trusted to be obedient versus ending up under the wheels of a lorry (aka truck)

    Threads like this make me lol, due to the cultural differences between USA and America. It also disturbs me that someone would frown upon something that is basically for a child's safety. Like I said they've been around for decades in the UK and they have not caused any child to be emotionally damaged. I have not heard of one person ever who went to a counsellor (aka shrink) as an adult, complaining of psychological problems caused by being put on reins as a toddler. I have, however, heard of numerous fatal and crippling accidents involving small kids being hit by cars on busy streets.

    ETA:in the UK they're generally used for kids aged 1-3, by which time they're old enough to be trusted not to dash out into the road. Though I wouldn't judge a parent who used them for a slightly older kid, I'd trust their judgement. But usually it's just toddlers.

    This is pretty much the reason I got one. And as someone else mentioned, my daughter was 9 months when she was walking. I couldn't reach her hand so I would watch her like a hawk or carry her. When we went somewhere that was crowded with lots of things to see, I would put the backpack on her, see how I felt and then if I thought there was a risk that she could be snatched and I might not see or that if she ran, I wouldn't find her, I would put the "leash" part on the backpack. Maybe a couple of the times that we were in the zoo, conditions were right for it probably before she hit two years old. Other than that, I didn't use it (only because I didn't see a risky situation). She loved the backpack. I didn't want to keep her confined to a stroller as there have been health and brain development benefits shown in toddlers walking or being carried vs. stroller and I didn't want to risk her safety either.

    I don't really concern myself with what other people think about what I do. We all have our opinions. I have opinions about strollers and other people have opinions about the "leashes" we each make the best choice we know how and then deal with the fact that other people are judging our decisions. NBD.
  • frommetobetterme
    frommetobetterme Posts: 124 Member
    Options
    Do what is right for you and your family. Discuss it with your wife and take into consideration your childs behaviour.

    I think that whether you use it or not is your decision and we should not judge others.

    I personally think that even if you teach your kid that either you listen or you get put in a stroller, it only takes them running off once for something to happen. Do you really want to take that risk?

    I've never used one with my second child because most of the time, he's busy pushing his stroller. I don't believe in holding my childs hand for the whole length of a walk. A child needs the freedom to explore his/her surroundings.

    However, my first was a bolter, very active, very curious and very strong headed. I prefered him being restrained and able to walk and explore than stuck in a stroller where he couldn't develop because he couldn't exercise or discover his surroundings. I was also able to teach him to not wander and to hold hands at critical moments (crossing the street, in a busy market) while he was restrained.

    Yes some parents use the restraint as a way to be inattentive, but not all. I think that having a child in a restraint doesn't rule out the capability to teach them proper behaviour. These things are not mutually exclusive.

    That being said. Being a parent is difficult enough as it is. Why not use the tools that are available to make teaching and keeping our children safe more efficient?

    Food for thought...
    If you don't believe in restraining your child because it is dehumanising, too much like how you treat a dog, does that also mean that you have never used a crib to stop a toddler from wandering during the night, or a baby gate to stop your child from going to dangerous places, or bribed them with a treat (food or something else) to either teach or get them to do what you wanted?
  • kwoodson94
    kwoodson94 Posts: 37
    Options
    I never used one and I had 5 children and a set of twins. I just don't like the way it looks, I guess that is what seems offensive or like walking your pet. however, I have learned to have an open mind and if this is being used to keep a child safe, then by all means it is important to that parent and child. Someone on this thread said we all parent different, and that is true. I am happy that the difference in this case is to keep the child safe and for their best interest. Hopefully, the restraint is just short term and the parent continues to work on the rules when on an outing. Maybe use short trips to practice rules of safety so that eventually they can do away with the restraint. just my two cents worth.
  • peachfigs
    peachfigs Posts: 831 Member
    Options
    Thread title disappoints.
    Leashes and MILFS should be about something else.

    I know. Maybe OP has a different definition of MILF
  • ThatSoundsHard
    ThatSoundsHard Posts: 475 Member
    Options
    LOL it's totally personal. I was a wanderer as a child and was therefore tethered a lot of the time.

    I bought one of the ones with the little animal backpack thingy when my daughter was around 1.5 - 2. It was a normal thing growing up so it never really seemed like an issue.

    I'm not sure she ever actually used it though. Maybe once or twice. I've used it with my little guy, he was walking before the age of 1 and really wasn't old enough to "just learn" about safety or hand holding or whatever. He's 2 now and holds hands and listens just fine. We haven't used it in ages and probably won't ever use it again. Who knows though.
  • talk2elles
    talk2elles Posts: 124 Member
    Options
    My daughter loved her reins/harness because it left her free to explore and use both her hands to pick daisies or buttercups. It also meant that I could 'save' her if she tripped.

    Lots of people don't like them but I think the body reins/harness are great, and if your child is happy then I wouldn't worry
  • CristinaL1983
    CristinaL1983 Posts: 1,119 Member
    Options
    Thread title disappoints.
    Leashes and MILFS should be about something else.

    I know. Maybe OP has a different definition of MILF

    Maybe OP will only listen to MILFs and doesn't think other people give valid opinions. But, yeah, I was expecting something different when I got here.
  • Articeluvsmemphis
    Articeluvsmemphis Posts: 1,987 Member
    Options
    I have two nieces and one nephew. by the time they were old enough to walk, they were smart enough to know if they jetted away from us in public I would leave them,(not serious, but they didn't know that part) lol. needless to say they would try to be sneaky and run off, but when i paid them no attention they ran back to me
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
    Options
    is your son wearing a hair bow and a skirt?
  • crista_b
    crista_b Posts: 1,192 Member
    Options
    is your son wearing a hair bow and a skirt?
    I wondered that too but didn't want to mention it. :laugh:
  • Cadori
    Cadori Posts: 4,810 Member
    Options
    is your son wearing a hair bow and a skirt?
    I think he probably just google imaged harnesses and didn't actually take a picture of his son.

Categories