Serious Question for MILFS (pics)

Sometimes use them on my 2yr old as he will run off as fast as he can and Il be pushing the baby and cant just let go and run after him. I have the reins on him but have a lose grip so he doesnt feel like his tied up and he doesnt mind them at all. I prefer him to wear them as then I know he cant run away in the blink of an eye!

That's a rough question... I'm not going to lie, I have tried using one ...it didn't work well for me.. But I think since each child is different , it's going to be different choice for each parent... Wish you the best of luck...

Quote:
'As I've stated many times and will continue to state, just because the child doesn't want to hold your hand doesn't mean that YOU can't get a good grip on their hand. I raised my niece from 2 years old and onward and that was all it took. I just don't think it's necessary to strap a kid into a harness and pull them around,....'

When I held my son by the hand, he would try to throw himself on the ground and then I would have to pick him up or put him in a stroller. When he was restrained, I didn't 'pull him around'. He walk by me, or wandered off or tried running away and I would follow him then take his hand like I would have if he wasn't restrained. If he was examining something, when the time was right, I would take his hand and bring him back to the sidewalk to continue on. I never 'pulled' him around, nor dragged him. The restraint was there in case I wasn't fast enough to catch him when he would bolt.

Why do most people that are against these assume that because the child is restrained we treat him like an animal. I would not tug on my child harness like you would do like a dog to keep him in line. It was a precautionary tool, to stop him IF I was not fast enough to catch him. I am sure some parents use it in a way that even I don't find acceptable, but I also don't think it's ok to generalise that everyone would use them this way.

I had 2 small kids that were 17 months apart and I never put one on them. Even when we went to Disneyland I never did. I don't like them.

I'm suggesting that people hold hands like we always have. As I've stated many times and will continue to state, just because the child doesn't want to hold your hand doesn't mean that YOU can't get a good grip on their hand. I raised my niece from 2 years old and onward and that was all it took. I just don't think it's necessary to strap a kid into a harness and pull them around, nor do I find strollers necessary. When they're old enough to walk, let them, but hold their hand.

You can't judge all children by one.

You can't judge 9-24 month olds by a 2 year old.

I don't personally use a leash, but I also don't judge.

Never. But that's just my opinion.

This. I have two children, now 15 and 10. I never "harnessed" them or put them on a leash. I held their hands or put them in a stroller or a cart. My honest opinion? It's dehumanizing and lazy. And, I'm not trying to offend, I'm just giving you an opinion...something we all have and which was asked for by the OP.

I so agree with the lazy part...when we were raising our children(25 and 21) they were available but we chose not to use them and most of that reason was we felt we would be lazy if we did. I see people with the kids at the end of the leash while they are looking in store window etc. and totally ignoring the child. We didn't want to be those kind of parents and we felt the best way to do that was to always be engaged with our children when they were with us. This also included family gatherings etc. where we would be called the cruise directors cause we were always with the kids...all the kids while the other parents sat and drank and socialized. Just my opinion and everyone has their own way!!

I actually sort of agree with the laziness factor here. It is HARD work to keep an eye on your kid at all times. It's much easier to strap them into a harness and look when you feel it tug. I'm certainly not saying that all people who use harnesses do this, but I feel that many parents do see it as an easier way to handle the kid and not as a necessary safety precaution.

but isn't, like some have said on this thread "if they are likely to bolt, they should be in a stroller" just as lazy?

What are you suggesting? When your 1-2 year old child is too young to understand the dangers of traffic, that you'd have no safeguard at all? just your own interaction with them, like warning a child that young not to run in the road and expecting them to listen? Or would you have them in a stroller (that would be just as lazy as reins, if not more so because you just have to push them...... you can't actually get anywhere if your child is going crazy on the end of reins, you actually do have to teach them to walk next to you unless you just want to stand around while they run circles around you)....?

IMO it's no easier to control a child when they're wearing reins than when they're not. The only difference is if they're wearing them, they can't get as far as the wheels of a motor vehicle before you can stop them.

I'm suggesting that people hold hands like we always have. As I've stated many times and will continue to state, just because the child doesn't want to hold your hand doesn't mean that YOU can't get a good grip on their hand. I raised my niece from 2 years old and onward and that was all it took . I just don't think it's necessary to strap a kid into a harness and pull them around, nor do I find strollers necessary. When they're old enough to walk, let them, but hold their hand.

Sure, when a kid is two it is a bit different than when they are walking and less than a year old or even less than two. When my daughter was walking and less than a year old, I couldn't even reach her hand. Plus kids that age have very limited verbal skills and part of my fear was that she would either get lost (and not be able to tell anyone who she belonged to) or be snatched and not be old enough to realize to scream etc... Most of the people here have said that the upper end they used them was about 3 years old. A lot of others have said that 2 is the highest. All due respect, your opinion isn't completely relevant or formed by experience as you don't have the experience with children in that age range.

I grew up in one and it did no harm. My mother used one on all four of us and we didn't care nor have we ever held anything against her for doing it. It meant she knew we were safe, we knew we were loved because she cared about our safety. I never used one for mine ONLY because I had twins and it was hard enough going places with two of everything WITHOUT the added tangles, being pulled in two different directions, etc.

I would think as soon as the child is old enough to observe their surroundings and know what is dangerous, what to avoid, and listens well to parents, it would be time to remove the harness. Maybe 4 or 5? Certainly by kindergarten.

It depends, most of my siblings (I'm the oldest of twelve) never wandered nor were they slow walkers... HOWEVER there was ONE haha He was once so persistent on running from me in the mall I chained him to my Tripp pants(Don't judge me, I deserved those rebel days haha) At that time I think he was about five... I now have one of my own who has just learned to walk, I doubt I will need a harness for her though since she doesn't like to leave my side.. ever.....Needless to say though I did get a lot of looks of worry from parents of other children who passed me in the mall.. Do what ya gotta do to protect your young, if that means a harness (or chaining them to you Tripps) then do it and don't worry about how it looks.. Just don't gag and blindfold them too.... lol

I didn't have them with either of my daughters who are now teenagers. We didn't have that stuff. We taught our kids to hold a parent's hand when crossing the street or walking in a parking lot, and I never had a problem with them bolting on me.

That being said, I know some children don't really listen. SOME children may need things like this. I prefer to teach, as a leash teaches them nothing.

NOW, that being said..lol..I used one for my 2 year old son when we were at an outdoor concert. We knew we were going to be there all day and didn't want to just leave him in the stroller. It was quite full of people and, eventually, it got dark. So, special events and busy places, I can understand.

I resent the insinuation that having my daughter in a harness means I didn't care to teach her the right manner and precautions. We taught her from very early on the importance of staying close to us, and we are not the kind that "spare the rod" either. I always held her hand, but I had the harness as a second line of defense. My daughter is very intelligent, physically strong, and rather rebellious by nature, so I take offense at the idea that only children with "special needs" wear harness.