Is it your responsibility to stay in shape for your S/O...

it's my responsibility to ______________ for ME.
--stay in shape
--keep healthy mind
--have reliable income
--keep ordered home
--maintain balanced life

i don't do any of that for anyone else. not anymore. if i don't make me my #1 priority, i neglect myself 'in the service of' others. which is really just co-dependent justification.

Uh no it wasn't in my wedding vows .... I do think it is my responisiblity to stay and try to stay healhty though so we have a long hapy life together...Not to retain my hot 17 year old perky breast flat stomach pre baby body.

Why wouldn't you if you reasonably could?

You mean like cosmetic surgery? It's a fact of life that breasts are not always going to look like they did when you were 17 or 18, unless you have surgery.

No cosmetic surgery for me. I'll be healthy and fit and as close as I can to my pre-baby body without it. If my husband doesn't like it, well, tough. It would be pretty shallow of him to think that way.

I enjoy sex. Sex is fun when I feel and look sexy. I enjoy that for a lot of reasons. I enjoy how my husband is attracted to me and I want to maintain that. When other people find me attractive it also feels good and adds to our sex life. There are many many other reasons why I enjoy and benefit from being fit and attractive (not just in the bedroom). These are my own choices. I do not think that marriage causes me to be less fit. I do think that I should care and put the effort in, but life is unpredictable and in unforeseen circumstances my husband will still love me the same. I will always put in the effort towards whatever I have control over. My husband appreciates it and I enjoy that also. Staying fit is a simple little thing that keeps us both happy on many levels. And because my husband benefits from my fitness and taking care of myself he is very supportive of me in my efforts. I am happy about that. I do think it helps to have his support and joy. He encourages me to keep going to the gym, to continue doing what is going to benefit me most, to make changes when I want or need to change up my fitness routines (will help watch my form if I ask). He is supportive of me watching what I eat and meeting my nutritional needs. When I want a new weight lifting book, he sees that as being important. Whatever difficulties or challenges we may face in life, sex is something that I know will always bring happiness to my husband and to our relationship. It's more enjoyable to always work at it and never let it become mundane. Also, my husband is honest with me when I ask him if I need to work on stuff. Kind, but honest.

I like this. Sounds like a healthy, supportive relationship.

That's probably the rudest, *kitten*-backwards thing I've read in awhile.

If your SO isn't attracted to you through the various changes your body will eventually go through, then it'd be time to part ways. My husband's stuck by me through the gains and losses in all my yo-to dieting phases and ALWAYS told me/made me feel beautiful. Never batted an eyelash through his own weight changes either!

...to keep them sexually attracted?

Or should they just accept you as you are?

I was reading a thread earlier about some spouses letting themselves go after marriage and it struck me as odd. I have always subscribed to the former. Your thoughts?

Not to keep them sexually attracted, because they should accept you as you are HOWEVER you need to respect yourself and protect your own body, which ultimately means healthy eating and regular exercising.

You should WANT to look, be and feel your best for yourself and your S/O.

There's a pretty big difference between staying with the person you love, and liking where they are physically.

I have an interesting spin on this. When Hubs and I met 15 years ago, I weighed about 240 he liked that about me, especially since "the girls" were huge. I'd dieted on and off over the years but didn't get serious about it until these last few years and have managed to actually keep the weight off and really improve my fitness level. While he's one of my biggest supporters, he's also made comments about me getting "too skinny" eventhough I've got about 20 or more pounds left to lose. In my case, getting in shape had nothing at all to do with pleasing him. It was about me getting healthier and finally becoming more comfortable with my body. He will admit though that sexy time is a lot more fun now that I have better endurance and am lighter and a bit more bendy. LOL!

He on the other hand has gained weight over the years. He was super skinny when we first met and stayed that way until he started working as a delivery driver (more sedentary) and drinking beer. He's lost about 30 pounds since he gave up beer but still has a bit of a gut. i don't mind at all though. He's still the guy I've been crazy about for years and I don't see that fading any time soon.

All that said, I do think it's good to get healthy and/or stay healthy when you're in a relationship, especially if you have kids. The people that love you want you to be around as long as possible and it's up to you to make the effort to do that for them. I remember watching a Jack Lalane show a few years ago where he said something about it being important to stay in shape for your partner so that you could have a long lasting sex life. Made total sense to me! If you're not in shape you can't do as much together and sexy time becomes increasingly difficult, especially as you age. And let's face it, sex is important for keeping the bond of intimacy going in a relationship!

Your responsible to yourself. You can set the example for others in your house.