Spa owner yells at Mom of Autistic child-Facebook Firestorm

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Replies

  • amaysngrace
    amaysngrace Posts: 742 Member
    Well, I know how the mother feels because my son is also autistic and non-verbal. Upon doing research, I discovered that the reason why my son cries when he gets a haircut is because the clippers feels like needles piercing his head, on top of the noise from the clippers being amplified, since some autistics have amplified hearing, where they can hear the overhead lights clicking, a person's watch ticking, and the sound of music from the speakers all at one time. Can you imagine this and not being able to tune this out because your body cannot do so? I mean anyone would go into sensory overload, but neurotypical people are able to block out and filter certain noises, that autistics cannot block out.

    Concerning my son, we have went through 3 barbers because most of them were unsympathetic or would stall with conversation instead of making the hair cutting process as quick as possible. We finally found a barber, who has other autistic clients, who is wonderful to my son. My son always cries when he is in the chair, and he is 6 years old now. I always have to hold him while in the chair, to soothe him. People are always staring at us because my son cries and rips the cape off and tries to escape.
    I even thought about purchasing a good pair of clippers and attempting to cut his hair myself, but I don't have the extra help to hold him, while I cut it.

    But, the fact that this owner embarrassed this mother due to her lack of sympathy towards autistic children and their parents is mortifying to say the least. If the owner was to even live one day in that mother's shoes and all the care that is involved with a child who is autistic, she would not have dared to say one word to her. But often times, that is what it takes, an intolerant person to walk a mile in someone else's shoes first, before they understand what that person goes through day to day.

    All I can say is that I commend that mother for "keeping her cool" because I would have went off on that owner, and her mouth would have dropped because she would not have known that she picked on the wrong person on the wrong day...
  • amaysngrace
    amaysngrace Posts: 742 Member
    I didnt read back through this post but I can relate. My oldest son (who is now 9) has high functining autism (but it wasnt so high functioning when he was younger) and a hair cut, grocery shopping, hell, putting his sock on him if the seams wernt lines up was pure HELL. He would scream and bite and scratch himself. If we were in public, some people probably thought I as beating on him. Going through it yourself, really gives life a new perspective, and Patience!



    Girl, I know what you mean, and for me, lots of praying...
  • amaysngrace
    amaysngrace Posts: 742 Member
    Oh no. I would have said something, though I am a man so I may be more quick to anger. Wait I say short people are quick to anger since the anger has less room to travel.

    It is so sad that people would be so cold, and not understand that the mother didnt wish to have a child born with autism, the child didnt wish to be born that way. There are things in this world that are completely out of your control. To bash a child let alone one with autism is sickening. If there is a cause to be upset at, this is one of them. Where is the group Autism Speak on this issue?

    out of all this, I would think there might be a niche market for a hair and nail salon that openly and is geared towards people with autism and their families.



    Definitely, salons, daycares, and how about hiring higher functioning autistics and aspies to work in the salon as employees?
  • mrdexter1
    mrdexter1 Posts: 356 Member
    The owner didnt know the kid was autistic and in assuming this was just a normal kid playing up had every right to tell the parent to keep it under control in her spa if she felt it was disturbing other clients....

    Cant see the fuss other than the facebook "hang em high" brigade getting off on one and the whole incident reminds me of a time someone jumped in front of me at a checkout and having verbally reprimanded them the " he s got problems card" was pulled by people with him as if that made it all right and i should have known ...

    I m off to the spa now in full support !
  • Justjamie0418
    Justjamie0418 Posts: 1,065 Member
    I disagree. for 1. with the alarmingly high dianosis rates and publicity about autism.. I think everyone should be aware that mot kids are not just bad.. if they are acting out to such a degree as this.. there may be an underlying issue of some sort.

    And

    2. If you are going to allow kids in your salon, you cant go around being nasty to thier parents.. even if they get out of hand... I maybe would have tried to distract the kid with a sucker or comb or magazine.. or try talking to the kid. Not yell at the parent. Thats just rude.
  • amaysngrace
    amaysngrace Posts: 742 Member
    I disagree. for 1. with the alarmingly high dianosis rates and publicity about autism.. I think everyone should be aware that mot kids are not just bad.. if they are acting out to such a degree as this.. there may be an underlying issue of some sort.

    And

    2. If you are going to allow kids in your salon, you cant go around being nasty to thier parents.. even if they get out of hand... I maybe would have tried to distract the kid with a sucker or comb or magazine.. or try talking to the kid. Not yell at the parent. Thats just rude.



    Like I said, until they have walked a mile in the shoes of a parent raising an autistic child, they will never understand. And if they could walk a mile in our shoes, they would not even be able to finish it. As a matter of fact, I think most would just bow out of the race and hand the shoes back over to us because they would be in such amazement, how we even cope day to day, let alone have the ambition to want to get up in the morning and do it all over again. Like they say, "Ignorance is bliss."
  • Dynamis600
    Dynamis600 Posts: 743 Member
    Having a child with autism and probably another one yet to be diagnosed. I have come to the conclusion that Autism seems to be the unacceptable disability. Mainly because the children look normal and are usually quite attractive looking children and also be cause the disorder is a social disorder and just don't get social cues and when in meltdown mode they cannot hear what is being said to them and are unable to calm down. They can go from calm to full on in seconds. So to tell a mum they need to discipline their child in this situation when the child is just not able to be reasoned with and certainly yelling at them just makes the situation worse and it takes longer for the mother to help the child calm.

    In this situation though autistic or not the behaviour of the owner was not acceptable. I have to admit though being judgemental about parents and kid's having tantrums before I had a child with autism, I know better now. The things is mums with kid's with autism do try to teach their kid's with autism social etiquette. A friend of mine took her son to her friends house, her DS's first words to her friend was "Your house stinks". She later told him that it was not good manners to say that someone's house stank. The next time they went over her son said " Your house really smells" being so literal he thought he was doing the right thing as he had not used the word stank.

    Being with other mum's with kid's with autism they just get so fed up with having to explain their child's behaviour they just don't any more apart from wearing a T-shirt saying I have autism but this often just sets up kid's for bullying. We are trying to get the word out about autism but some people really can't be bothered listening.
  • not cool
  • Joreanasaurous
    Joreanasaurous Posts: 1,384 Member

    Michelle Mott, owner of M-Spa Salon & Day Spa, released a statement Thursday saying her "actions were not intended to create any hardship or embarrassment for little Grayson and his parents.

    “To say that the last few days at M-Spa have been challenging is an understatement. We are all aware of the significant attention given to a Facebook posting regarding a recent haircut for one of our spa’s youngest customers. Social media has been used to create an impression of me and this event in ways which do not fairly reflect who I am and which seek to silence differing viewpoints about what occurred. While this is very unfortunate, I am not going to review those differences here.

    “Rather, I want to say that my actions were not intended to create any hardship or embarrassment for little Grayson or his parents. And while I believed that Grayson’s parents understood that, when Mrs. Bays stayed for her highlight and cut at our spa right after Grayson had left with his father, I want to reassure the Bays family of this point. I apologize to Grayson and the Bays for any embarrassment or hardship that they have experienced by my actions.

    “We look forward to better days ahead and we will continue to strive to be the best spa in southwest Michigan. To those who have voiced displeasure with me or with my spa over this incident, I will work hard to regain your faith in our services. To those who have indicated that my business should be boycotted, I would ask only that you consider the impact of such a boycott upon the many families who derive some portion or all of their livelihood from our spa. To those who have withheld judgment or have voiced support over the last few days, including my treasured customers and employees, I extend my heartfelt appreciation.”

    So the mom stayed and got her own hair done after she got yelled at and ran out of the salon crying? Really?
  • tlangenfeld
    tlangenfeld Posts: 2,330 Member
    Regardless of the situation, react with class.
    - H. Jackson Brown, Jr. -
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Any revelations on this story? I kept expecting some kind of story-changing facts to be revealed as this played out in the media.
  • sunshinestater
    sunshinestater Posts: 596 Member
    Any revelations on this story? I kept expecting some kind of story-changing facts to be revealed as this played out in the media.
    Pretty rare that they ever do that. My favorite was the case of the peanut-allergic girl who died from a kiss by her boyfriend, who had eaten peanut butter earlier. The follow-up story (that she actually died of an asthma attack after smoking pot) was barely a blip on the radar. Probably same here.
  • m0jk
    m0jk Posts: 133
    upscale spa, her business, her rules. dont bring kids...

    I am wondering what kind of spa it was... at the spas I go to where I spend over $100 it's supposed to be a relaxing atmosphere and I don't know why anyone would bring kids. I would be mad if I spent $100 to have someone bring their kid, autistic or not, just so I can hear crying during my manicure.

    Although if it is a place that offers kids haircuts, then crying kids could be expected.

    Also don't see what being autistic has to do with it. Sounds like she didn't know he was autistic before she yelled, so she wasn't yelling at him for being autistic, and children without autism cry all the time during haircuts anyway.

    very good points.. and everyone here is being way too anally PC about a point that didnt matter. The owner didnt say get that special kid outta here. the owner was mad the kid was being too loud and the parent failed to control it.

    plain and simple. yet you "sick" people wanna make a mountain out of a mole hill.

    parent should take the kid to super cuts, not a upscale spa.



    so your saying they cant go where ever they want because theyre a lower class or something? all i can say is your a 'word a cant write on here' and its not nice at all :mad:
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    Any revelations on this story? I kept expecting some kind of story-changing facts to be revealed as this played out in the media.


    I'm interested too.
  • djshari
    djshari Posts: 513 Member
    I find it odd that so many people can demonize the owner yet they weren't actually there so they don't exactly what happened... just like maybe the owner didn't know the kid was autistic? Think about that. People do exaggerate and sometimes the same scene just looks different from other people's perspective.