Absence Before Marriage

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  • joleenl
    joleenl Posts: 739 Member
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    To those who express a need to "test drive the car" before buying--you all know how much the value of a car plummets the minute it's driven off the lot, right? :wink: I feel that sex is no different. It's cheapened if you give it out before marriage.


    Nice to think of women in terms of resale value.


    Which is exactly where the concept of virginity/being non shop soiled came from. Buying and selling women and girls.

    Yeah I agree. As a female, if you are waiting because you want to give your virginity to your husband as a "gift" or because you think it makes you more "valuable" as a women that is just plain wrong. IMO if you are waiting for marriage then you should expect the same from your partner. Women are "not" gifts to men. Having sex out of wedlock does not devalue a women. IMO waiting is cool when it's a mutual thing between man and women.
  • holothuroidea
    holothuroidea Posts: 772 Member
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    @Squeakyjojo- I am so glad I'm not the only person disturbed by all the car analogies.
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
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    To those who express a need to "test drive the car" before buying--you all know how much the value of a car plummets the minute it's driven off the lot, right? :wink: I feel that sex is no different. It's cheapened if you give it out before marriage.


    Nice to think of women in terms of resale value.


    Which is exactly where the concept of virginity/being non shop soiled came from. Buying and selling women and girls.

    I didn't say just women. I fully mean this to apply to men, too. :wink:
  • peleroja
    peleroja Posts: 3,979 Member
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    I'm not religious, and I have some pretty strong ideas about the "purity" concept as a way to control women. I read a lot of books including "The Purity Myth" by Jessica Valenti in my late teens which really influenced my feelings on the subject. I'm not a big fan of marriage generally either, so I think my stance on the subject is probably pretty clear. I wouldn't date anyone who believed in the necessity of abstinence before marriage because there would obviously be some incompatible core values there. Fortunately, though, I have the perfect man for me already.
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
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    Im abstinent and 24 but I doubt that I will stay this way before I Get married. I wanna try ALL the Kool Aid flavors before I settle for Tropical Punch!
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,139 Member
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    why is this on MFP?

    Or did the over lords make this a non fitness site?
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,472 Member
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    um, no,,, I need to know if they are good in bed or not,
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
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    To those who express a need to "test drive the car" before buying--you all know how much the value of a car plummets the minute it's driven off the lot, right? :wink: I feel that sex is no different. It's cheapened if you give it out before marriage.


    Nice to think of women in terms of resale value.


    Which is exactly where the concept of virginity/being non shop soiled came from. Buying and selling women and girls.

    I didn't say just women. I fully mean this to apply to men, too. :wink:

    So you're slut-shaming both men and women.......wonderful. :grumble:
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
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    I was engaged for 2 months (dated for 7months before that)*, my husband and I were both abstinent before marriage, and have been married almost 22 years.
    It works for some people apparently.

    * time of dating included for folks who think it is needed to live together for 2 years first. not saying that it is needed too NOT, but 'different strokes for different folks'
  • smframe1
    smframe1 Posts: 17 Member
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    I would agree with waiting until you are married. It's worth it. Even if someone has not waited until marriage there can still be restoration from past hurts. We have a very loving and forgiving God.:) I guess I'm just old fashion.
  • Lady_Chilli
    Lady_Chilli Posts: 161 Member
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    Each to their own but its not for me.
  • pestopoli
    pestopoli Posts: 111 Member
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    Abstinence is not for me at all.

    I don't care what other people want to do with their bodies, and I attach no moral value to having sex or not having sex.

    This woman for president. Yeah, I'm here as well. Having sex or not having sex doesn't matter one flying fig, either way. Be an ethical, fulfilled person, and sleep with everyone, or no one. It's your life.
  • BeautifullyHuman123
    BeautifullyHuman123 Posts: 37 Member
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    Deeeeeeeepppppp
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    Me and my wife waiting for marriage, then of course we were to tired, so it was the day after. Sex is a gift to be given and won and anyone who does it before they have a marriage license issued by the state is just a filthy person in my opinion. yuk no thank you.
    After marriage we immediately started to experiment and got into some pretty wild swingers parties with a lot of coke. I don't even remember half of those nights. crazy times. So after marriage sex is ok. We currently each have several partners of each gender and everyone IS married so its ok. I try to only use the coke in moderation as its a rather bad habit I'm told.
  • brittaney10811
    brittaney10811 Posts: 588 Member
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    i think it's becoming less the 'norm' as time goes on. My husband and I were each other's first, and only. We didn't wait until marriage, but we both knew we were going to get married. We were together 5 years before the wedding, and are coming up on 2 years married now. No kids, lots of love. I have no complaints. :)

    that being said, i am very glad that neither of us have had another parther. we've realized the more we've been together, the more we appreciate never sleeping with anyone else. Definitely creates a bond, and a sense of trust, that you couldn't have otherwise.
  • hiyomi
    hiyomi Posts: 906 Member
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    When I saw absence at first, I was like uh oh that's not a good sign O_O
  • brittaney10811
    brittaney10811 Posts: 588 Member
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    Me and my wife waiting for marriage, then of course we were to tired, so it was the day after. Sex is a gift to be given and won and anyone who does it before they have a marriage license issued by the state is just a filthy person in my opinion. yuk no thank you.
    After marriage we immediately started to experiment and got into some pretty wild swingers parties with a lot of coke. I don't even remember half of those nights. crazy times. So after marriage sex is ok. We currently each have several partners of each gender and everyone IS married so its ok. I try to only use the coke in moderation as its a rather bad habit I'm told.


    bahahahahahahaha!! i was wondering when a post like this would come up, lol:laugh:
  • pestopoli
    pestopoli Posts: 111 Member
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    To those who express a need to "test drive the car" before buying--you all know how much the value of a car plummets the minute it's driven off the lot, right? :wink: I feel that sex is no different. It's cheapened if you give it out before marriage.


    Nice to think of women in terms of resale value.


    Which is exactly where the concept of virginity/being non shop soiled came from. Buying and selling women and girls.

    I didn't say just women. I fully mean this to apply to men, too. :wink:

    So you're slut-shaming both men and women.......wonderful. :grumble:

    Yeah, it's pretty low to compare your own body to a market commodity. Have some self respect. Your sexuality only deepens and enhances as you gain experience. Restricting that experience on the notion that you can "use up" your sexual value is a sick, twisted idea.
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
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    To those who express a need to "test drive the car" before buying--you all know how much the value of a car plummets the minute it's driven off the lot, right? :wink: I feel that sex is no different. It's cheapened if you give it out before marriage.


    Nice to think of women in terms of resale value.


    Which is exactly where the concept of virginity/being non shop soiled came from. Buying and selling women and girls.

    I didn't say just women. I fully mean this to apply to men, too. :wink:

    So you're slut-shaming both men and women.......wonderful. :grumble:

    Thanks for the personal attack, but no. If you had bothered to read my original post without running your mouth first, you'd have seen that I specifically said I did NOT judge anyone for doing it differently. And seeing as neither my husband nor I were virgins when we married, I can't very well "slut-shame" (whatever that even means, anyway) anyone without calling myself a slut.

    But yay for attacking people who believe differently from you! It's nice to know that it's not just Christians who do it! :flowerforyou: :noway:
  • LMT2012
    LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
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    I'm not religious, and I have some pretty strong ideas about the "purity" concept as a way to control women. I read a lot of books including "The Purity Myth" by Jessica Valenti in my late teens which really influenced my feelings on the subject. I'm not a big fan of marriage generally either, so I think my stance on the subject is probably pretty clear. I wouldn't date anyone who believed in the necessity of abstinence before marriage because there would obviously be some incompatible core values there. Fortunately, though, I have the perfect man for me already.

    This is brilliant. Let me also add that if abstinence is something a person feels deeply about, why wear it on their sleeve? Do it because it makes you warm and fuzzy and don't expect a medal.

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