Online dating. WTH!
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I met my husband on Match .com 10 years ago . It has been the best relationship I have ever had.
I messaged him - I looked at his photo for a whole month before messaging him because he was not my type, but I loved what he wrote in his BIO.( I didn't think he was cute) I can't believe that now because now when I look at him he is so very handsome to me:)
Best thing I ever did.
A few of the men I had chats with did not seem - real ? They seemed to be fooling around and just having fun . I wanted someone who actually wanted a relationship . Luckily so did he.
There are some pretty vulgar people out there and if you meet them in person it takes longer to figure it out in my opinion ,because online it comes out quite quickly haha.In my experience.
Oh , I was only on Match.com for 2 months , hubby was on for 4 months I think. He had lots of dates but nothing worked out till me- and I was not his type either ,so he said.
Just saying0 -
What happened to approaching a person and saying hello!!
Online dating is like finding a needle in a haystack!!!
Because everyone you say hello to is date worthy?
Both my long term relationships started as online.
There is no difference except you can meet a LOT more people online in a shorter amount of time then in real life, especially if you're shy and introverted like myself.0 -
i have tried on pof i found nothing l0ots of cute lady but they wouldn't even reply to my message ps my older brother met both his ex wife and his seacond wife on the net. there nasty cruel and demeaning. i can't stand her
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i have tried on pof i found nothing l0ots of cute lady but they wouldn't even reply to my message ps my older brother met both his ex wife and his seacond wife on the net. there nasty cruel and demeaning. i can't stand her
[img]http://blu.stb.s-msn.com/i/12/CB8FBDDA729F84D8BC8CA157217A_h316_w628_m5_cawOaFiyw.jpg[/img I think a lot of women are wary because odds are they have run across a lot of creeps. You would be amazed at how many guys seem so normal and then BAM. It's very discouragingl[/img]0 -
this is what i fear when on line
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Tried online dating but like in the real world -- if you do not make a lot of money, you are out of luck like me... Well that and the fact that I am not physically attractive...
If you read my post a little while ago, I was not attracted to my husbands photo- We chatted for a month before we met and I was very attracted to him by then. Oh and he kind of hid the fact that he owned his own business because of all the money grubbers out there- So I thought he was just getting by like everyone else - He's not rich by any means but he's not as broke as he said he was which is understandable.0 -
this is what i fear when on line
Ok, well imagine that the guy wearing the bra likes it. That's what we fear!0 -
I made many online attempts - from 2005 to 2009. I would put my profile up as "this time" I would find who I was looking for, only to quickly become discouraged, let down, frustrated and take my profile down. (Analogous to "this time I'm really starting my diet...")
My last attempt at being online I made one rule for myself: I was not allowed to take my profile down until I found who I was searching for. I endured getting contacted by the players pretending to want monogamous relationships, the "I want 'no baggage'" guys, the guys looking for women to support them and the list goes on. There were moments I felt discouraged and frustrated and even one time I thought about taking my profile down. But then I remembered the rule I made for myself... Dammit!
Finding "him" was like finding "a needle in a haystack". The decent ones are definitely far and few between, but they are out there looking for exactly what you are looking for. You just have to stay persistent and look at this as a game.
I kept my profile positive and playful, never stating what I didn't want. I also kept it simple. And, I didn't make my statements like broad public announcements. I was trying to reach one person and one person only so communicated as such...
My husband and I will be celebrating 4 years on the 28th of June. That's the day I found him and we first communicated. We dated for 3 1/2 years and married 6 months ago. And it gets better and better as time goes on!
Whatever it is you WANT for yourself, it IS out there. There is a woman who is looking for exactly the same things you are looking for. Just persist!0 -
this is what i fear when on line
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Sounds like you're more into looks than the person....
I meet my husband of 6 years through WoW (an online MMORPG), never saw him for the 5 years of talking except a few pics of his face and mine. After years I decided to meet him in person cause I... ready for this.. love his personality! I didn't care what he looked like just that it was him.
You might want to get over the looks and focus on the person, you might pass up meeting some amazing people cause you're to focused on their weight. An a post like this is just as bad as pointing at all the overweight people on this site and in the world calling them ugly cause they have 75+lbs to lose... to me you seem like the 'ugly' person due to your negativity.0 -
So just a bunch of random complaining.
For some reason, I signed up for an online dating thing.
A few observations:
"A few extra pounds" can be and often is 75+lbs overweight.
Many are "actively seeking a relationship" OR even "actively seeking a husband" (WHAT THE ****!?!)
"Average body type" can be and sometimes is up to 75lbs overweight.
People in my age range who "smoke often" look like it. (No offense to the smokers I guess but it does NOT do good things to your skin/face)
Apparently people can get attached even with just a tiny bit of chatting. I'm expecting to get a message like "why didn't you answer my message" or "what took so long to answer my message"
I often see face only pictures. That's fine. But don't post face only pictures and then after someone starts chatting then post a full picture and suddenly The average body type is 75lbs over weight.
There is ONE that I have talked to that we actually made plans to meet, and she is a member here too. But who knows how that will work out.
Maybe it just boils down to I'm not really into the hassle of going on dates. I see women that are from a town just a few miles away, but I don't like the town so I won't message. Or don't like the hair color, or don't like who knows what. There is always something.
You know the saying that showing up is half the battle? Well mind set can take even that advantage away. Your current mindset is not going to yield good results. You have to be in the right place mentally - enthusiastic, open, honest, wanting to meet people and have fun. Sounds like you have some mental housecleaning to do first in order to move forward in a positive, healthy way. You'll get there. You just aren't ready yet.0 -
this is what i fear when on line
LMAO. Saved that one. I've been there myself unfortunately.0 -
well personally i'd prefer the warning! if someone says 'actively seeking relationship' and you aren't or find it weird, at least you know not to go for them!by the way, what is wrong with someone being upfront about "actively seeking a relationship"?
I guess I just look at it as if it happens, it happens.
And actively seeking a relationship tells me you are going to try and force the issue and/or try to move things more quickly than they should move.
And possibly kill your pet rabbit and put it on the stove if you decide things aren't going to work out....
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I don't see what's wrong with "actively seeking a husband." Some of us, not naming any names *cough* me *cough* feel like we're too old to beat around the bush.
Wouldn't you like us to be honest upfront? No? Ok. Nevermind.0 -
I've been out of the dating scene for 18 years but I must say that I'm totally surprised by the number of attractive people on this thread that mention having a difficult time meeting people.
If I were ever to re-enter the dating scene, I would be honest about what I was looking for but would also ensure my profile was appealing enough to spark interest. You'd hate to waste time on dates only to learn you don't have any of the same goals/interests.0 -
I've learned that there are certain things to become aware of when viewing profiles in regards to body type. Generally if you look at the pictures, and lack of body pictures, or certain angles only, it becomes a red flag. I think the most popular type of body picture for people not being truthful is the straight down picture. It makes everyone look thinner than they actually are due to depth of field. If that's the only type of body picture, I probably wouldn't consider messaging the woman. The whole body type thing doesn't bother me at all since it's all subjective. If I like what I've read, and what the pictures indicate regardless of size, I'd take a chance probably.
I don't really actively use any online dating since at the moment I'm pretty happy being single and working on myself... don't really want to complicate things by trying to start up with dating. But I view online dating the same as real life. The only true thing a person can determine is physical attributes in real life dating. We don't know what the person is saying is true. The same basically holds true with online dating in my opinion, I haven't ever gone on a date with a girl that didn't look like the one in her photo. Maybe I was just lucky. But whenever I'm ready to start truly dating again... I will use both forms and be cautious with them both. I see no reason to not leave all doors / possibilities open whenever I wanna date.0 -
I look at the guys on the sites...and wonder "if they are so great, why are they on here"? Of course, the opposite could be said too. I am not sure I would meet anyone off of a dating site, but it does work for some people, so who's to say?
The people I know who do online dating are mid-career professionals whose friends are all hooked up & who've exhausted their real-life network, and/or who don't feel like (or have the time/energy for) hanging out in bars on their own *in case* they accidentally meet someone ok.
(It's something I'd consider doing if I didn't have time/energy to go out & like accidents - not that I go looking for them! Necessarily.)0 -
I met my husband via online dating more than 14 years ago! It's not all bad but the internet really does make some people feel as if they don't have to be honest! Good luck!0
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Sounds like you're more into looks than the person....
I meet my husband of 6 years through WoW (an online MMORPG), never saw him for the 5 years of talking except a few pics of his face and mine. After years I decided to meet him in person cause I... ready for this.. love his personality! I didn't care what he looked like just that it was him.
You might want to get over the looks and focus on the person, you might pass up meeting some amazing people cause you're to focused on their weight. An a post like this is just as bad as pointing at all the overweight people on this site and in the world calling them ugly cause they have 75+lbs to lose... to me you seem like the 'ugly' person due to your negativity.
Sounds like you didn't actually read all of the replies.
But OK.0 -
this is what i fear when on line
:laugh:0 -
this is what i fear when on line
:laugh:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...Always better to Skype and know.
I have no judgement about online dating, Its not something Im willing to do tho.0 -
Ugggg
I'm in the middle of telling someone the level of clingy-ness they are exhibiting after a few times chatting is a huge red flag and that it's never going to happen.
Unfortunately so far NOT so good. I'm going to need a diagram I'm afraid.0 -
Maybe it just boils down to I'm not really into the hassle of going on dates. I see women that are from a town just a few miles away, but I don't like the town so I won't message. Or don't like the hair color, or don't like who knows what. There is always something.
i didn't even read through the replies, I just had to laugh at this. ^
and you know, if you have super specific tastes in women, be specific in your profile. If a guy says "I prefer athletic types" I don't try to get to know him.
In the past week, I met with and really hit it off with 2 guys I met online. I had to weed through at least a hundred messages to find guys that I clicked with and also thought would be a good match physically, but that's what it takes. If you are "not really into the hassle" of meeting women, what are you doing on an online dating site? lol you want them to just come to you like magic?
oh wait... are you a troll?0 -
i do hide myself for a reason. initially. pics can come later.see, that's why i prefer online dating.
i don't put any clear pics up, so they have no clue what i look like.
the guys who contact me tend to do so because they find what i wrote in my profile, my humour and my interests. i have interesting and fun relationships that way.
meeting guys offline... it's a case of transparent ''hey, you're pretty and slim and have big knockers! we must be soul mates.''
utterly pointless. whilst looks arn't everything, initial attraction is important. no pic, no chat, no matter how funny or articulate you may be. people hide themselves for a reason.
and, though you say it's pointless, i've had great results.0 -
i talk to people for weeks first. often months. occassionally years, if they live a long way away.Actually if I did meet someone, say at a concert, I would talk with them on the phone before we went out on a date. Maybe not weeks, but I wouldn't go out with them the next night either.
i'm only going to meet a person who genuinely enjoys talking to me and isn't doing it only as a means to an end.0 -
Maybe it just boils down to I'm not really into the hassle of going on dates. I see women that are from a town just a few miles away, but I don't like the town so I won't message. Or don't like the hair color, or don't like who knows what. There is always something.
i didn't even read through the replies, I just had to laugh at this. ^
and you know, if you have super specific tastes in women, be specific in your profile. If a guy says "I prefer athletic types" I don't try to get to know him.
In the past week, I met with and really hit it off with 2 guys I met online. I had to weed through at least a hundred messages to find guys that I clicked with and also thought would be a good match physically, but that's what it takes. If you are "not really into the hassle" of meeting women, what are you doing on an online dating site? lol you want them to just come to you like magic?
oh wait... are you a troll?
sounds like he's just overwhelmed with decisions so uses any arbitrary measure to eliminate options, vs investing in each. i think people advising him to just try meet people 'in real life' are probably right0 -
Maybe it just boils down to I'm not really into the hassle of going on dates. I see women that are from a town just a few miles away, but I don't like the town so I won't message. Or don't like the hair color, or don't like who knows what. There is always something.
i didn't even read through the replies, I just had to laugh at this. ^
and you know, if you have super specific tastes in women, be specific in your profile. If a guy says "I prefer athletic types" I don't try to get to know him.
In the past week, I met with and really hit it off with 2 guys I met online. I had to weed through at least a hundred messages to find guys that I clicked with and also thought would be a good match physically, but that's what it takes. If you are "not really into the hassle" of meeting women, what are you doing on an online dating site? lol you want them to just come to you like magic?
oh wait... are you a troll?
sounds like he's just overwhelmed with decisions so uses any arbitrary measure to eliminate options, vs investing in each. i think people advising him to just try meet people 'in real life' are probably right
Ya I think so too.0 -
If you're going on a dating site, you're doing it wrong. Theres a reason those people need a dating site to land a date or try to find what they're looking for..
I met my boyfriend on a video game forum (young nerds in love, aww), we were best friends for 3 years and never saw eachothers face, he lived in California and I in Washington.. He had family up here and we met up while he was visiting.. and thats how we hit it off.
Oh, and then he joined the air force and is now stationed in Georgia! :grumble:
But its all good, I just spent 3 weeks down there with him and we went to Universal Studios and all sorts of fun places. Long Distance is ok with me because I enjoy my independence and alone time. But I understand its not for everyone.
Honestly, I say select a hobby you like and find a forum with people who share the same interests as you.. I know some people here on MFP that have gotten married / are dating eachother.. Usually when you're not looking is when they pop up.0 -
utter rot. i've met fantastic men on dating sites. charming, intelligent and attractive.If you're going on a dating site, you're doing it wrong. Theres a reason those people need a dating site to land a date or try to find what they're looking for..0 -
Since everyone was saying I only care about appearance.......
So I was talking to someone yesterday/last night who didn't have a picture at all. So when I finally asked and she sent one she went from 36 to 46+ years old.
LOL.0
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