Can men and women be "just friends"?

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  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    This topic amuses me, particularly with how emphatically some people say "no" while ignoring other users who say "yes." If the question is whether it's possible then the answer is obviously "yes" because some people do. If you yourself cannot be friends with people of the opposite sex then perhaps there is something wrong with you and you either have some growing up to do, or you are hanging around the wrong people. In any event, it is your issue to solve.
  • DalekBrittany
    DalekBrittany Posts: 1,748 Member
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    I don't think it is a good idea when you are married. Marriage is really hard and your wife/husband should be your main focus. I think if someone from the opposite sex is meeting your needs, for example, recreational or affection, that isn't good for the marriage. It only takes a few minutes to develop a crush. Not very respectful to your partner.

    ...that must be joyful relationship to be in. What works for you works for YOU but definitely not everyone feels the need to shun an entire gender as friends because they got married :huh:

    One of my best friends is a guy, who I was introduced to by my fiance. I am not even a little bit interested in him, and if he's crushing on me which is extremely unlikely (because I get the feeling if he was crushing on either of us...it'd be my fiance) it's really not my problem. It's not disrespectful to my fiance at all. What would be disrespectful is telling him he is not allowed to have friends that are females.
  • schaapj2
    schaapj2 Posts: 320 Member
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    not generally...but there are always exceptions. One or both generally has secret feelings or at the very least some sort of attraction-animal magnetism...generally physical, but it can be emotional. Unless the guy or girl is gay. That's about the only time firends of opposite genders are "just firends." Granted, you can still have a heterosexual girl and guy be friends, but one is likely keeping those feelings in check.
  • wanderlustlover
    wanderlustlover Posts: 84 Member
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    I have life long both guy and girl best friends, and I've lived with my male best friend for three years. Absolutely no feelings going on, but a whole lot of living-with-your-best-friend awesome?
  • socajam
    socajam Posts: 2,530 Member
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    I'm not allowed to be friends with anyone that's more attractive than my wife. She insists that all my lady friends be ugly or overweight. That makes life easy for me I guess.


    If this is true, sound very controlling and very insecure to me
  • amelia_atlantic
    amelia_atlantic Posts: 926 Member
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    Totally!

    I "Bro-Down" with my guy friends all the time and do active things.

    However; there's usually always a level of attraction. As long as it's never acted on, you will have bros for life.
  • placeboaddiction
    placeboaddiction Posts: 451 Member
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    yeah. I'm friends with lots of women. I get along better with them. My wife says women are always crushing on me though, i just never know...cause.. i'm still a guy. :)
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
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    YES!

    I have 4 guy friends to prove it.
  • Alisha_countrymama
    Alisha_countrymama Posts: 821 Member
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    yes, but it depends on
    *how much time you spend together
    *how close you are
    because if you spend to much time together, and get to close, I would say 90% of the time, one of the two will start to develop feelings for the other. Sometimes both do. But if just one does then they can end up with a broken heart when the other doesn't reciprocate.
    And you may say, I would never develop feelings for "so-n-so" and then next thing you know you do. It can come on quickly, or gradually, and you don't even realize it.
  • rosellasweet
    rosellasweet Posts: 163 Member
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    My best friend used to be a male, but he married someone who thought every girl in a two foot radius wanted him. Didn't really help that we lived together. He was the best man at my wedding (my best man, not my husband's) and he even got ordained to marry us. When it came time for him to marry the jealousy monster, he said I couldn't be in the wedding party. Pardon me? So I knew it was pretty much done. I have a best friend who's a girl who would and has sacrificed lots for me.

    Men and women can be great friends, just avoid the crazy ones...if you can.
  • socajam
    socajam Posts: 2,530 Member
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    I don't think it is a good idea when you are married. Marriage is really hard and your wife/husband should be your main focus. I think if someone from the opposite sex is meeting your needs, for example, recreational or affection, that isn't good for the marriage. It only takes a few minutes to develop a crush. Not very respectful to your partner.

    ...that must be joyful relationship to be in. What works for you works for YOU but definitely not everyone feels the need to shun an entire gender as friends because they got married :huh:

    One of my best friends is a guy, who I was introduced to by my fiance. I am not even a little bit interested in him, and if he's crushing on me which is extremely unlikely (because I get the feeling if he was crushing on either of us...it'd be my fiance) it's really not my problem. It's not disrespectful to my fiance at all. What would be disrespectful is telling him he is not allowed to have friends that are females.

    Exactly. If marriage stipulates who you have to be friends with, then you are better being off single. There is nothing worse than being with an insecure man or woman.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    If he's in a happy relationship.
  • toya316
    toya316 Posts: 137 Member
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    I can be friends w/ men...... As long as the man is NOT attractive and I don't have to many :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: .... :wink:
  • ljdborton
    ljdborton Posts: 51 Member
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    nope, no such thing as a platonic friendship between a man and a woman... because if there were the opportunity for one of them to be with the other if something happened with thier current relationship they would take that chance....one of the 2 would always take that chance... (please note there are situations where this may be different based on their preference of a partner) but for heterosexual people, there is no such thing as just friends....
    couples in relationships are friends with other couples and family members so of course the opposite sex is still involved as a friend but it is because of the other people involved ...never just the 2... when it is based on just the 2 people...it will lead to something...always :) just my opinion:)
  • kimmianne89
    kimmianne89 Posts: 428 Member
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    Yes! As long as you both know its just friends then it always seems to work out for me.
    The odd occasion you get a guy that just doesn't get 'just friends'.
  • Samiamy2k
    Samiamy2k Posts: 50
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    One of the most brilliantly written and executed scenes in modern cinematic history, not to mention an acute insight into the eternal struggle between yin and yang.

    http://youtu.be/i8kpYm-6nuE
    Why or why not
  • Samiamy2k
    Samiamy2k Posts: 50
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    One of the most brilliantly written and executed scenes in modern cinematic history, not to mention an acute insight into the eternal struggle between yin and yang.

    http://youtu.be/i8kpYm-6nuE < Click this link
    Why or why not
  • happywithme12
    happywithme12 Posts: 477 Member
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    Depends if the other party is ugly or not.


    wow thats kind of an idiodic thing to say---so your saying men and women can be friends as long as one of them is not attactive, LOL thats funny cause i don't agree with that at all
  • du4u02
    du4u02 Posts: 42
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    Here is where I get confused. I've heard many women say that they want their man to be their best friend. So for those ladies out there who have a male best friend that they're physically attracted to, why the heck aren't you jumping his bones?

    Anybody?
  • VpinkLotus
    VpinkLotus Posts: 849 Member
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    Absolutely. I think guys make super fun friends. They are less complicated, let their sense of humor show more easily, and are more honest than we tend to be. (although i do adore my friends who are girls so much too.) If you say you "can't" be firends with a gender you are elliminating an entire half of the world. So sad. :noway:

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