Your most humiliating "fat" experience.
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That was a very cruel thing to say. He could have said it nicer.0
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I have a few. But the one that really sticks in my mind is when my cousin from New Zealand came over to stay.
I'm 5'2 and at the time (August 2011) I was about 136lbs, which was still with a healthy BMI.
He made numerous comments about my weight, a few examples was, "Carolyn, why don't you join a gym?" and "You could do with losing a bit of weight" Oh and bear in mind he was overweight himself.
Anyway, this one time I'd gone downstairs to get some food, I made 2 tortilla wraps with chicken pieces, lettuce, tomato and some light mayo. To which he uttered "Do you really need all that food" "You'd lose a few pounds if you didn't eat so much"
By November 2011 I weighed 115lbs.0 -
I would wear the swim suit and lap up the attention off other men right in font of your husband lol ten weeks after having my baby I got asked how far gone I was which wasn't good! And having get in the back of a car with a baby seat and another adult was quite a squeeze0
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I had my daughter in December and in the middle of January I went to buy a ring for her. I spoke to the sales lady and told her I was looking for a gem stone ring for my daughter for when she turns 16. The sales lady said to me...Maybe you should wait until after you deliver in case you have the baby in February. I was devastated.0
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I think when your humiliated part of you goes "oh well" and you got eat your feelings.
My turning point was a complete stranger coming up to me telling me "Congratulations"
Erm...not pregnant.
I laughed it off at the time but lay in bed that night thinking how hurt it made me feel.
Next day i got up and started working out. I'm now working out and cutting calories and it's dang hard work and the results are sooooo slow. But everytime i want a fatty meal or a day off i think about that stranger and socking him in the eye.
Sometimes you just need to stop feeling defeated and just get angry. 0 -
Most embarrassing fat moment: ripping my pants multiple times in public because of the holes I wore in the thighs...0
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A couple months ago I heard that my boyfriend at the time was talking to his friends about me. All of them questioned him on why he liked me, because I was "ugly and fat", and apparently the only thing good about me was that I was nice.
They didn't say those things to my face, but just hearing about it really hurt.0 -
Some of these stories make me feel very sad for the people they happened to. Some people can be so cruel!! I was teased as a kid for being heavy and it sucked.
As I grew up I put on more and more weight. I sat at a desk all day when I started working so I continued to gain weight. One year my boyfriend and I planned a trip to Cedar Point in Ohio. I was looking at the weight limits for the rides and said maybe we shouldn't go because I don't think I'll fit. But I convinced myself to go. I was able to on the older roller coasters but not the new ones. I let my boyfriend go on the cool rides while I walked around and found rides I could go on. I didn't want him to miss out just because I couldn't go on them. That was my wake up call!
Years later, we returned to Cedar Point and I was able to fit on every last roller coaster!! 0 -
I dont know if I have had any really HUMILIATING experiences, but I've felt embarrassed a time or two and it usually stemmed from sitting in chairs. At 5'11, 300+lbs, not every chair is going to big and sturdy enough to handle my size. I tried sitting in a plastic outdoor-sy sorta chair before and my weight made the chair buckle but I remember sorta laughing it all. Yea, its embarrassing but I dont remember being torn up about it. As far as name calling and stuff, sure I got my share of that but by the time I hit high school I learned to speak up for myself and defend myself. Meaning, I might feel fat, disgusting, ugly and all of those horrible things but I won't let you point those things out to me to try to hurt me. Now as an adult being called "fat" by anyone doesn't hurt me. Its an adjective that pretty much accurately describes me. If someone were to call me fat or does call me fat, its just like...do you want a cookie for pointing out the obvious? I know I'm fat, I claim it, I recognize it. As of right now I am making lifestyle changes to lose weight but not because I can't love myself at the weight I am at, but because I want to live a healthier life. I am sure when I get to my goal weight there will still be people who consider me fat and thats fine because my life will still go on.
As far as being humiliated by a spouse, I am a single person but I wouldnt let that fly. I would show them the door. You are more than your body, your weight. You are an actual person with feelings and emotions. If someone is committed to loving you, they wouldnt do things like that, in my opinion.0 -
Many years ago when my 2 older children were young we used to get season passes to an amusement park near us. I knew that I had gained quite a bit of weight, but was at the defeated point.... I'd been in 2 bad car accidents back to back and exercise of any kind hurt, would sometimes even put me out of commission for weeks at a time. I had given up... but didn't think it was that bad.
So the first day we went, we got our passes, and did a walk through the park and did a few things, nothing really taxing... but man was it a hard day! I was exhausted and out of breath most of the time, and had to catch up to the hubby and kids several times.
The next visit, it was a little better as I had started walking when I could to try to build stamina.... so I decided I would try one of the roller coasters with the kids (they and the hubby had tried it and it was fairly smooth). It was one of the most popular so we waited in line for a couple hours. Finally we got inside, were picking our seats and I barely fit in the little car, but hey I fit! Then could NOT get the belt to latch, and couldn't get the bar to come down far enough to click into place! I was absolutely mortified.... How had I let myself get that bad?
Needless to say, by the end of the summer season I had lost my first 40 pounds, and not only was I keeping up with the rest of the family walking, but I was eventually able to fit in that coaster to ride!0 -
When people at work kept asking when I was due and 9 months later there was no baby. Let's just say that's when it really hit me... And I really should have been wearing a size 12 but I just couldn't bear to buy more bigger clothes, so I kept squeezing into the smaller ones (I was bigger before starting MFP, 167, now i'm 127).
Leave your husband. My boyfriend is proud of my changes, and still gets me to try and eat more because he thinks "I should indulge more and enjoy myself more because I've worked so hard". He has NEVER said I was fat or didn't look good (last time i put on a bikini i was mortified at 150 and chubby, but he didn't see what I saw.) Even when i'm uncomfortable he still wants to see "the goods" because he doesn't see me the way I see me. We are now close to the same weight and he says every time how nice I look, how proud he is, how he's glad i'm getting healthy for us and the family we want.
Time for you to move on.0 -
A couple months ago I heard that my boyfriend at the time was talking to his friends about me. All of them questioned him on why he liked me, because I was "ugly and fat", and apparently the only thing good about me was that I was nice.
They didn't say those things to my face, but just hearing about it really hurt.
Awww that's horrible, and he didn't even stick up for you or punch them!?0 -
My humiliation moments are any time I see a pic of me & my kids. I really hope they get to see a healthier happy person as they grow older. They're just little tykes now, so I have some time to do this. I really don't want them following in my fat footsteps. [looks for, doesn't find "chubby" emoticon]
As far as the significant other with the rude comment, I mean, it depends on the tone & delivery, I guess. But my immediate thoughts weren't so much how he said it, but that he THINKS it. I wouldn't respect a partner who thought that way about me, regardless of how they voiced it. Now, maybe my partner does think that and has the good sense not to express it, but I sure hope not... 'cause that would be the LAST TIME I HELP OPEN A JAR. EVAR!!! lol. srsly, tho. Not good support.0 -
friends child asked if i was having another baby!! ughhh so embarrassing!!0
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I think they are really motivating. Whenever I want to stop working out or do feel like picking the healthy option I think of my "fat" experiences. My friend pulled a chair out from under me, but I still landed on the leg of it. It snapped in 2. Definitely keeps me from stopping.0
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In June 2009 I went to visit my sister in Ohio and myself, her husband and her husband's brother all went to Cedar Point to ride rollercoasters (best amusement park EVER!!) We were all really excited to go on the Topspeed Dragster, which was the fastest and second highest roller coaster in the WORLD. It was FINALLY time to get on the rollercoaster, which we had been waiting for about 2 hours. I got in the seat beside my sister and tried to put on the "technologically advanced" seatbelt and it would not latch. It was policy that the people running the ride could not help you put the seatbelt on and rather you needed to be able to just latch it without any assistance. I could not :blushing: The young person runnng the ride told me that I could not ride the rollercoaster because I could not fit into the seat and seatbelt properly. I was completely mortified
It was at that moment I decided something needed to be done and I've had a back and forth ride with my weight loss but in the first 8 months I lost 80 pounds!! Since then I have struggled with losing the last bit over the last 3 years, but now I am 15 lbs and a wedding away from my goal weight and could not be any happier. The silver lining was that as humiliating as that situation was for me I NEEDED it to see how bad things had really gotten. I am happy that it happened now!! :happy: 0 -
Grade ten English class. Sit down at my desk - and I notice the chair is messed up already. It feels loose, unstable and I had a feeling - this is gonna break. Instead of switching the chair out though, I just tell myself to stay still on it LOL
That didn't work...
In a total moment of karma - I went to put an unflattering post-it note on the back of my friend in front of me. As soon as I leaned over, giggling to myself, the chair broke - down I went. It was loud and clearly I am not exactly a gymnast, so there was nothing smooth about my "dismount".
I remember as I hit the ground I KNEW what happened and I was mortified. I wasn't sure how to react but in another moment of cosmic justice - the friend I had JUST attempted to belittle via post-it note to the back....yells out
"Get that guy a crate"
Everyone - including me laughed - and my moment of horror pretty much died there. Moral of the story - be nice to your friends, they will be there to pour salt on your wounds when you deserve it LOL0 -
All of these stories about women being mistaken for pregnant women are just horrible. People have no social etiquette, I swear. I don't ever assume someone is pregnant because its just really rude. Some people could be suffering from fibroids or other aliments that are causing their stomach to protrude. And some people, like me tend to hold most of their weight in their abdomen area. Unless a woman tells me out of her own mouth that she is pregnant, my rule is to not mention it or bring attention to it. To me, this isn't a hard rule to follow. Sorry to hear so many women being confronted with this. It really annoys me.0
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In June 2009 I went to visit my sister in Ohio and myself, her husband and her husband's brother all went to Cedar Point to ride rollercoasters (best amusement park EVER!!) We were all really excited to go on the Topspeed Dragster, which was the fastest and second highest roller coaster in the WORLD. It was FINALLY time to get on the rollercoaster, which we had been waiting for about 2 hours. I got in the seat beside my sister and tried to put on the "technologically advanced" seatbelt and it would not latch. It was policy that the people running the ride could not help you put the seatbelt on and rather you needed to be able to just latch it without any assistance. I could not :blushing: The young person runnng the ride told me that I could not ride the rollercoaster because I could not fit into the seat and seatbelt properly. I was completely mortified It was at that moment I decided something needed to be done and I've had a back and forth ride with my weight loss but in the first 8 months I lost 80 pounds!! Since then I have struggled with losing the last bit over the last 3 years, but now I am 15 lbs and a wedding away from my goal weight and could not be any happier. The silver lining was that as humiliating as that situation was for me I NEEDED it to see how bad things had really gotten. I am happy that it happened now!! :happy:
I just posted my Cedar Point story just before you did! Yeah, the Dragster was definitely one I wanted to go on and couldn't. Keep up the great work and get to your goal!0 -
We all surely have some experience related to out weight that lingers in our minds. I wouldn't say I was even fat when this happened. I am 5'3", at the time I weighed 145 pounds. I was in the process of losing weight I gained from quitting smoking. Anyhoo, we were talking about going to the beach. My now husband, then boyfriend, made the remark that I should get a bigger swim suit. I was wondering what was wrong with the one I had. I asked him what he meant and why he said that. He would never really clarify. Finally he just yelled at me that I look disgusting in my swim suit. Needless to say, I haven't put on a swim suit since. I actually bought one last year, but I could never bring myself to wear the thing.
When you look back on these things do they motivate you? Do you feel a sense of hopelessness that drives you to failure over and over?
Maybe we just have very different body types, but I am 5'3", and I like myself best at about 140. Any less than that, and people frequently ask me if I am eating enough. =/ I can't believe he said something like that. I'm sure that you look completely fine in swim suit. You poor thing. Besides, even if you are a little pudgy at that weight, there are people that look WAAAAY worse that wear them. Like me for example =P Don't let someone kill your confidence, ok?0 -
I was going to a dr who had this "miracle" diet for me. I followed it religiously (I've got 24 hour witnesses) and did my exercising 4-6 days a week. I just wasn't losing. He told me that when I was ready to lay off the Twinkies and Ding Dongs I could make another appt. I made another appt - with someone else! I got a complete physical and found my body is severely sensitive to too few calories. I also learned I have not lost bone and muscle like most my age. My new specialist said I could not go below a certain weight and be healthy. I was at THAT weight when I was at that other dr.0
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Hmm...starting to think Cedar Point doesn't like us "fatties"...I couldn't ride the Star Wars thing the year it came out (do NOT ask me what it is called...) because my big butt couldn't buckle the belt. By like a nanocemtimeter. And we had just eaten a big, fat & alcohol filled meal, and tried to ride at the end of the day. Probably could have fit first thing in the AM, thank you bloat. Horrifying. Good news is I could ride it now.
PS your hubby sounds like a douche. I sure hope he has learned to be more tactful, because that was a real jack@ss thing to say.0 -
Like being smacked in the face twice!
I was managing a portrait studio,and at one point late last year, a woman showed up early for her son's photos. He was coming to the studio with his dad,and they ended up being late. So, I had all of this extra time just setting up and listening to his mother. At one point, she patted my belly and asked me when I was due. I politely informed her that I was not pregnant. She said, "Oh, I understand, baby weight is very tough to lose. How many little ones do you have?" Trying not to make the situation more awkward by causing a scene (I am EXTREMELY sensitive about my weight) I told her I do not have any children. She looked mortified, and started stammering saying, "Now why did I think you were pregnant?" At this point, I just wanted her to shut up, so I blurted out, "It's because I'm fat. It's fine." Tears actually appeared in her eyes as she attempted to tell me that I'm not fat, just a "little chunky". Eventually she decided to say, "You glow, that's it, you're absolutely glowing. You must know the lord." I decided to change the subject to back drops.
Ok, So that has been several months ago, and I have lost 10+ pounds and a couple of pants sizes since then. Last week, my boyfriend and I went to visit my parents. I had been in more recently,and, apparently, my mother had decided that this visit was to tell them that I was going to have a baby. She cooked a good sized dinner complete with desserts. When we arrived, she was all smiles and hugged us both. After a couple of hours, my baby brothers, who are both still children, mentioned it. I stared at my Mom for a very awkward moment before crushing her hopes of grandchildren. My 13 year old brother then said, "Hey, you're not as big. You lost weight." I told him that I had lost several pounds and I was glad someone had noticed.0 -
I have had several small ones over the years:
* Always being picked last for teams in gym class
* Being called "fatty" for years by my skinny older brother
* Having to bite my lip to keep from crying every time my mom suggested I just "push away from the table"
* Having to set foot into Lane Bryant for the first time, and every time thereafter
* Getting up from a chair and pulling up the whole thing because my saddlebags got stuck on the chair arms
* Seeing the nurse in my GYN's office realize the paper gown will not cover me and have to leave the room to get me a cloth gown
* Seeing the nurse in my Internist's office switch to the "extra large" BP cuff (although in my defense I think she just assumed the regular one wouldn't fit--my upper arms are pretty small for a big girl)
* Having to state my weight out loud in the ER triage room with my husband present. I totally lied and knocked off like 15 pounds because I was afraid he would pass out if he knew the truth. I was there b/c I thought I was having a heart attack, but 15 minutes later I burped and realized it was combination of bad gas and a panic attack.
Unfortunately, none of these was enough to spur any kind of change.
The big kicker, and the thing that motivated me to finally do something about my weight after 41 years? When I started having trouble going to the bathroom last summer. Not actually trouble "going", but getting up and down from the toilet was causing me knee pain. I've always been a very healthy person despite my weight problems, but all I could think was that I was going to end up like one of my extremely morbidly obese co-workers who walks with a cane.
I don't like surprises, so I tend to be a little anxious when it comes to new experiences and research things extensively. That is especially true when it comes to any kind of physical activity or a weight limit or some type of equipment/clothing required. I think a lot of the inhibitions I have developed come from this. I can't wait to get my weight down to a point where I can just live my life without worrying about everything.0 -
All of these stories about women being mistaken for pregnant women are just horrible. People have no social etiquette, I swear. I don't ever assume someone is pregnant because its just really rude. Some people could be suffering from fibroids or other aliments that are causing their stomach to protrude. And some people, like me tend to hold most of their weight in their abdomen area. Unless a woman tells me out of her own mouth that she is pregnant, my rule is to not mention it or bring attention to it. To me, this isn't a hard rule to follow. Sorry to hear so many women being confronted with this. It really annoys me.
I've heard it...several times. Even when I was a lot smaller than I am now. My rule is: Unless the baby is crowning, don't assume a woman is pregnant! haha0 -
I can't wait to get my weight down to a point where I can just live my life without worrying about everything.
It looks like you're off to a fantastic start!
Great job! 0 -
In June 2009 I went to visit my sister in Ohio and myself, her husband and her husband's brother all went to Cedar Point to ride rollercoasters (best amusement park EVER!!) We were all really excited to go on the Topspeed Dragster, which was the fastest and second highest roller coaster in the WORLD. It was FINALLY time to get on the rollercoaster, which we had been waiting for about 2 hours. I got in the seat beside my sister and tried to put on the "technologically advanced" seatbelt and it would not latch. It was policy that the people running the ride could not help you put the seatbelt on and rather you needed to be able to just latch it without any assistance. I could not :blushing: The young person runnng the ride told me that I could not ride the rollercoaster because I could not fit into the seat and seatbelt properly. I was completely mortified It was at that moment I decided something needed to be done and I've had a back and forth ride with my weight loss but in the first 8 months I lost 80 pounds!! Since then I have struggled with losing the last bit over the last 3 years, but now I am 15 lbs and a wedding away from my goal weight and could not be any happier. The silver lining was that as humiliating as that situation was for me I NEEDED it to see how bad things had really gotten. I am happy that it happened now!! :happy:
I just posted my Cedar Point story just before you did! Yeah, the Dragster was definitely one I wanted to go on and couldn't. Keep up the great work and get to your goal!
Note to self: Stay away from Cedar Point....0 -
Going in for my yearly "Lady" appointment a few years ago. My wonderfully tactful doctor waits until I'm all gowned up, strapped in, feet up and lights on with her head half a foot from my parts, to tell me that it would be a good idea for me to lose fifty pounds. What the hell kind of timing is that??
Same thing happened to me last September! My doctor used to not do weigh-in's at the appointments and would instead just take our word for it. Well now everyone has to step on the scale. My weight had gone up so much since the last appointment (or from what I TOLD them my weight was) that she kept asking me if I had a thyroid condition and checked my glands about four times before the appointment was over.
I only chuckle because if anyone actually believed the weight on my driver's license (which I am getting closer to now, thanks to MFP) and were to see my actual weight, they would think the very same thing. I would not be able to leave the room without someone forcing me to go in for a check-up regarding my thyroid. I never raised the weight from 160 *shiftily looks around*, and when I started MFP, that was roughly 50lbs inaccurate; now it is only 20lbs inaccurate:drinker:0 -
I don't like surprises, so I tend to be a little anxious when it comes to new experiences and research things extensively. That is especially true when it comes to any kind of physical activity or a weight limit or some type of equipment/clothing required. I think a lot of the inhibitions I have developed come from this. I can't wait to get my weight down to a point where I can just live my life without worrying about everything.
BOY do I understand this! I check EVERYTHING for weight limits, seat sizes, seatBELT sizes, and everything else i can think of not to be embarrassed when I get someplace and can't go/do/participate.
One great NSV though was when I went home for Christmas this last year. With all the hubub about how airlines are cracking down on overweight/obese travellers I was FREAKING out. I hadn't flown in YEARS and then it had to be first class (or buy a second seat) and I had bought my own seat belt extenders so I never have to ask the flight attendent to use one. I researched the seat sizes, the seat belt lengths, and everything before I got on that plane. I measured our little conference chairs at work and they were the same size... I could fit in those. I took my seat belt extendor JUST in case. I took my own snacks so no one would stare at me ordering food (and because they were healthier than what the flight would offer). NO problems, I fit in the seat, didn't need the extendor and felt GREAT. The chick next to me (skinny little thing) used up WAY more room than I did with her fidgeting and moving around. I agree that I can't wait until I just don't have to think about things like that anymore. It's going to be *awesome*.0 -
I am 5'3" and looked pretty good at 140--at 130 I start to look really skinny. I think I have big bones. I used to think that I was fat, but now just really want to even get back to 150!
The worst thing that ever happened to me was a couple of weeks ago. I was walking out of the mall, and a car was backing out of a parking spot. I was trying to figure out if they were adjusting or pulling out, so I was keeping my distance. The passenger obviously felt that I was too close because he said "Get out of the way fat *kitten* or you're going to get run over." I was so humiliated and I cried. My husband was mortified, and tried to say that maybe they were talking to him (he is thin). He didn't hear the guy or he would have said something...although I wouldn't have wanted him to b/c who knows if they're crazy or have a gun in this day and age...0
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