Fat shaming and making fun of fat people

What about this? I was always VERY skinny growing up. I mean skinny as in my ribcage stuck out further than my boobs. I didn't gain weight until grad school when I was in my early 20's. But anyways, my sister who was and is morbidly obese always made fun of me for being skinny. She would call me anorexic, stick figure, skeleton, etc. If I ever insulted her back by calling her fat my parents would freak out and I would get in trouble. They said she could make fun of me for being skinny, because being skinny was good and being fat wasn't. So why the double standards?

Because we live in a society where thin/slender/slim is held up as the ideal and fat is considered totally unacceptable. Thin people are privileged; fat people are discriminated against. I'm very surprised that so many people on this thread are talking as though fat-shaming and "thin-shaming" are equivalent. I don't see that at all. I don't believe total strangers go up to thin people and confront them about their weight, express "concern" for their health, etc. As for what happens on MFP, nobody here is critiquing Miss America's body type to her face.

I actually have seen this happen. I had a college roommate who was always berating skinny girls. And I have gotten more than a few comments here on MFP "to my face" about my size. I've been fat and I've been thin, and I actually think I get more "concerned" comments now that I'm small.

In regards to your comment about it being ok to "thin-shame" because thin is the ideal, every time someone says anything about thin being ideal there's a chorus of shouting that "meat is for men, bones are for dogs," "real women have curves," etc. Which is it? Either being thin is the ideal, or it isn't. Even if it is the ideal, I still don't see how that makes it ok to shame women for being the ideal. Do they not deserve health self-esteem and the respect of other people just because they are thin?

Then one day I was out with my Mastiff, and as I was walking towards 2 guys who looked to be in their mid-20s, I heard one say to the other "Look at the size of that dog, it's enormous!" and the other looked at me and snickered "Which one do you mean?" Up to that point in life I would have slunk away, eyes to the ground and felt a bit teary. That day I had a total 'Falling Down' moment, and despite being a 5ft4" middle aged woman, I felled the guy with a full force kick to the crotch (yay for Brashers' walking boots...they're heavy beasts) and a smash round the head with a plastic retractable dog lead for good measure.

My system won't let me watch the video but I have coincidentally been thinking about this lately... I honestly think that there is such a DISEASE in our culture with the HUGE corporations that market unhealthy things to eat to us, and the constant brainwashing of commercials who make us believe happy healthy people eat fast food and drink tons of soda...

My 9 year old daughter just got a little "chubby" and started getting picked on in school. I have worked her whole life to make her understand how beautiful she is and it has been undone by 3rd grade boys in a few months...

I have decided to IGNORE the "Fat" comments and focus with her on "health." We are focusing on packing fruits instead of crackers and taking a walk instead of watching TV. I am talking to her about her heart, circulation, lungs, skin and hair cells and how they need the nutrition from good food as opposed to focusing on what's fattening or "bad."

It's been a few weeks in this mission and the difference is visible. Not only has she slimmed down a little (NOT MY MAIN GOAL HERE) but she feels confident again and isn't hanging her head in shame.

I wish everyone had somebody to make them feel beautiful and help them by buying healthy food and explaining how it heals the body. I know the government can't be our "parent" but I wish something could be done in the positive direction to educate people and stop the corporations from making people believe bad food is OK...

I am shocked -- shocked -- that there are not more responses like this on this board, especially when I see all the tickers many people here have showing that have lost 75 pounds or more. People just LOVE hating on the fatties, including other fatties, I guess, and for them weight loss is just an excuse to join in the bullying.

Fat shaming doesn't work.
But what does?

I have to stop myself from responding to a lot of people on this message board because of fat shaming. Whether they are former fat ppl or never have been fat ever, I've seen some really questionable and just mean and hurtful **** said about fat people on these boards. Not saying that all of it was intentional, but sometimes the way folks word things just sucks.

Thank you! I am shocked -- shocked -- that there are not more responses like this on this board, especially when I see all the tickers many people here have showing that have lost 75 pounds or more. People just LOVE hating on the fatties, including other fatties, I guess, and for them weight loss is just an excuse to join in the bullying.

Bottom line: Someone else's weight is nobody's business but their own. No one gets to say "He SHOULD lose weight and he doesn't, therefore LET'S GET HIM!" It's. Not. Cool.

I don't care if the particular guy in this particular video sounded whiny. IT DOESN'T MEAN HE DOESN'T LEGITIMATELY HAVE PROBLEMS, it just makes him whiny about his problems. Will losing weight help him avoid the fat shaming? Maybe! You know what else would help? If people stopped being ****ing bullying asshats, or even if society at large stopped giving a pass to bullying asshats just because their targets are fat.

Okay, something that is happening here is a failure to communicate properly. Many of the folks saying that are saying he's whining instead of doing something about it are NOT shaming him. You may interpret is as such, but that is not what is happening. They're stating that in order to actually lose the weight he wants to lose he needs to break out of his shell and put in the work. Motivation is the first hurdle to getting it done. He hasn't taken that step yet. He needs to get motivated enough within himself to do something about it. They're not ridiculing him because he's fat.

Let me tell you something I see from pretty much every fit guy or gal around.

THE MOST INSPIRING thing for a fit person to see is a fat guy in his second week at the gym, still busting his backside, sweating like a stuck pig to try and get fit. It makes the gym alpha in the corner get teary eyed with how much potential this heavy ball of clay has in front of him. They want to see him or her keep coming and succeeding, day in and day out. It makes them pump harder themselves. It makes them double down on their routines, just to get the sweat going again. They don't want to see the fat guy fail or never try. They want to see the fat guy burn his way out of his gelatinous cocoon and turn into a heavy metal, fire breathing, iron plated butterfly with latissimus wings that make his feet lift the ground when he flexes.

TL;DR: Fit people see fat people as potential future badarses, not fat tubs of crap. At least that's my experience.

Fat people at the gym don't owe you anything!! They don't need to prove themselves to "fit people". They don't need to be a fit person's inspiration porn either? I cant believe what I am reading? This potential heavy ball of clay in a gelatinous cocoon?! Respectfully, I have to say...Are you serious?!

Umm a fat person at the gym is a human being, not an object to be molded into something FIT people want to see. Someone else's body and being is none of anyone else's business unless they invite it to be. Judging someone based on their body size is just wrong. Making fun of people, putting them down, saying mean things to 'inspire them and lift them up', is wrong. Always has been, always will be.

You entirely missed the point of the person you quoted. Please reread what was written.

Hah, I was just going to say that.

Enlighten me. Saying that I totally missed the point doesn't help me understand what she said. What am I missing? She said the most inspiring thing for a fit person to see is a fat person in the gym giving it their all. Breaking out of their fat cocoon and becoming a fit butterfly. What did I miss?

OMG I just realized my ticker is a butterfly. Will I be a fit butterfly?

Because it is uplifting for one person to see another person succeed at something they know is very difficult. That's the point you missed.

What about this? I was always VERY skinny growing up. I mean skinny as in my ribcage stuck out further than my boobs. I didn't gain weight until grad school when I was in my early 20's. But anyways, my sister who was and is morbidly obese always made fun of me for being skinny. She would call me anorexic, stick figure, skeleton, etc. If I ever insulted her back by calling her fat my parents would freak out and I would get in trouble. They said she could make fun of me for being skinny, because being skinny was good and being fat wasn't. So why the double standards?

Because we live in a society where thin/slender/slim is held up as the ideal and fat is considered totally unacceptable. Thin people are privileged; fat people are discriminated against. I'm very surprised that so many people on this thread are talking as though fat-shaming and "thin-shaming" are equivalent. I don't see that at all. I don't believe total strangers go up to thin people and confront them about their weight, express "concern" for their health, etc. As for what happens on MFP, nobody here is critiquing Miss America's body type to her face.

I actually have seen this happen. I had a college roommate who was always berating skinny girls. And I have gotten more than a few comments here on MFP "to my face" about my size. I've been fat and I've been thin, and I actually think I get more "concerned" comments now that I'm small.

In regards to your comment about it being ok to "thin-shame" because thin is the ideal, every time someone says anything about thin being ideal there's a chorus of shouting that "meat is for men, bones are for dogs," "real women have curves," etc. Which is it? Either being thin is the ideal, or it isn't. Even if it is the ideal, I still don't see how that makes it ok to shame women for being the ideal. Do they not deserve health self-esteem and the respect of other people just because they are thin?

Wonderful comment. I've been called anorexic, sickly, skinny b!tch, and skinny s!ut just to name a few. These are comments to my face from perfect strangers. I have a very healthy sense of self and body image, as well as a healthy bmi. I've had girls harass me about what size jeans I wear, only to remind me that boys prefer "curvy" women. My friend Christian is ripped, but has been called a "holocaust victim" more than once because of how slender he still is. What an awful thing to say to someone.

Thin girls are not priviledged, we are not special. We work hard because we care about our health, and that's hardly a reason you can't do the same.

I stand corrected on the incidents people have reported here, and I'm really sorry that happened to you. I absolutely do not think it's okay! To me, it's nobody's damn business and totally out of line for strangers (and usually, non-strangers) to comment on appearance (I used to get this for being nearsighted, and I still cannot believe total strangers would hold up fingers in my face and ask, "How many?" or suggest I see an eye doctor, as if I had never thought about or done that). My point about privilege has to do with larger societal issues; for example, research shows that thin women earn more money than big women, that people have more positive attitudes toward thin than fat people, etc. I think it's important not to lose sight of the fact that perceptions and treatment of thin people and fat people are, generally speaking, not equivalent. The fact that some people have experienced outrageous harassment about their (thin) size doesn't fundamentally change that. I hope that makes sense.

I'm very surprised that so many people on this thread are talking as though fat-shaming and "thin-shaming" are equivalent.