Asking Bridal Party To Lose Weight

1246789

Replies

  • RJay64
    RJay64 Posts: 135
    The awful part about it is she knows some of the girls in my bridal party and she was telling me I should do the same as her and request them to lose some weight LOL. Some people *shakes head* ...I have been seeing this time and time again on television though, so I didn't know if it was the 'norm' or what.
    She opened the door for you to give your opinion on what she is doing. Give it, double guns.

    ETA: I'm glad to see you refer to her as an "acquaintance" -- and not your friend.
  • evileen99
    evileen99 Posts: 1,564 Member
    What does the size of the attendants have to do with a "perfect" wedding?
  • sangeyvang
    sangeyvang Posts: 182
    Hm I think I would probably encourage them to eat more so that I looked better! (just joking :tongue: )

    hahaha! that's great!
  • sangeyvang
    sangeyvang Posts: 182
    Dang really? I thought the people that's in your bridal party are supposed to be the ones closest to you, so how could they be replaced if they don't lose weight!? I just think that is ridiculous!
  • allisona28
    allisona28 Posts: 186 Member
    So immature!!!!!! You either love your friends the way they are or you not ask them to participate in the wedding...I've been in 18 weddings (bridesmaid) and have never had a bride so superficial to ask of her FRIENDS to change in any aspect of their lives...WOW!!! PITIFUL!!!
  • JuliaLee67
    JuliaLee67 Posts: 149
    I can see her showing the kids the wedding pictures in 15 years....

    "Who is that mommy?"

    "Some girl I worked with whose name I can't remember, but wasn't she pretty?"

    yeah, this. i thought bridesmaids were supposed to be your close friends, and i don't think you could call people you treated like that 'friends'. and besides, if some rando coworker came up and asked me to be in her wedding, i'd think it a bit odd, to say the least. i mean, does she not know enough slender people that she could have asked them first, instead of imparting such conditions on the people she does know? how would one go about asking that of a casual acquaintance, anyway?

    so many questions...
  • ostrichagain
    ostrichagain Posts: 271 Member
    You know what made my wedding day perfect? Marrying the man I loved and having the people I care most about standing with me.

    How anyone looked or what they wore didn't matter one bit.

    I think this is worth repeating. When I look back on my wedding day, the things that stand out most in my mind don't include my dress, my ring, the decorations . . . I just see my husband's hands shaking, my mom's tears, our family cheering . . . I get all choked up thinking about it.
  • CapnGordo
    CapnGordo Posts: 327
    Y'ALLZ JELLY
  • allisona28
    allisona28 Posts: 186 Member
    I would be ashamed to be that bride's friend
    ^^ THIS!!!
  • nickymarie011
    nickymarie011 Posts: 152 Member
    The awful part about it is she knows some of the girls in my bridal party and she was telling me I should do the same as her and request them to lose some weight LOL. Some people *shakes head* ...I have been seeing this time and time again on television though, so I didn't know if it was the 'norm' or what.

    She opened the door for you to give your opinion on what she is doing. Give it.

    Oh, I have. Several times. I cannot change someones mind about what they ultimately want. Got my own wedding to focus on. I did tell her though, she should really quit focusing on what size her bridesmaids are and focus on herself and fitting into her own dress. She is not exactly a skinny minny so I am not sure where she gets off on telling people they are fat and need to lose weight.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    That's nuts.
    I'm sorry. I'm getting married and will have bridesmaids of all shapes and sizes and every one will be beautiful.


    What a see you next tuesday. It's a wedding and that's great. But you aren't actual princess.
    The nerve.
  • sleibo87
    sleibo87 Posts: 403 Member
    wow thats crazy! My wedding party was such an diverse group of women. Everyone had such different body types I didn't even make them wear the same dress! All i said was pick a dress in this specific color and preferable not full length (why waste money on a dress you wont wear, and most the time people don't wear floor length dresses). Each of them picked a dress that fit their bodies and their style and I think it made them a lot happier.
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
    I know dinnertime who is crazy like this but she's actually saying she's not getting married until her hubby2b losses 50lbs. Not for health. Specifically for the wedding photos
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    Bridezilla-ISH? Really? That sounds disgusting. Get new acquaintances.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    The awful part about it is she knows some of the girls in my bridal party and she was telling me I should do the same as her and request them to lose some weight LOL. Some people *shakes head* ...I have been seeing this time and time again on television though, so I didn't know if it was the 'norm' or what.

    She opened the door for you to give your opinion on what she is doing. Give it.

    Oh, I have. Several times. I cannot change someones mind about what they ultimately want. Got my own wedding to focus on. I did tell her though, she should really quit focusing on what size her bridesmaids are and focus on herself and fitting into her own dress. She is not exactly a skinny minny so I am not sure where she gets off on telling people they are fat and need to lose weight.

    I'd honestly be tempted to egg her on because the friendship and her wedding are doomed anyway. You might as well encourage her to self destruct in the most spectacular way possible. Just don't forget your video camera.
  • NoeHead
    NoeHead Posts: 516 Member
    wow. that's special. what happened to asking someone to be her BM/MOH because you want to share that special moment with someone who's been with you through rough times and because you're best friend?

    my wedding had various sizes BM and MOH and it was great...but I didn't ask them because they looked good. they are my friends and years from now when i'm all "seasoned" I wanna look back at my picture and know those were the gals I hung out with on thirsty thirsdays, listened to each other after bad dates and comforted me when I was down. it just happened to be a bonus that whatever size they were, they were all gorgeous :)

    I hope your friend realizes what she sounds like. happy wedding planning for you though!
  • rshcraig
    rshcraig Posts: 53
    I know dinnertime who is crazy like this but she's actually saying she's not getting married until her hubby2b losses 50lbs. Not for health. Specifically for the wedding photos

    And again the list of marriages that won't make it six months. What happens afterwards if he gains some back?
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    Dropping the "friend" would be significantly easier than dropping the weight. Oh h3ll no.
  • jasoncbackus
    jasoncbackus Posts: 131 Member
    Your friend is on to something, a new reality show. Bridezilla meets Biggest Loser. I think it has real potential! she should hire a crew and pitch the treatment to the major networks! could be a winner.

    Love the picture!
  • RJay64
    RJay64 Posts: 135
    The awful part about it is she knows some of the girls in my bridal party and she was telling me I should do the same as her and request them to lose some weight LOL. Some people *shakes head* ...I have been seeing this time and time again on television though, so I didn't know if it was the 'norm' or what.

    She opened the door for you to give your opinion on what she is doing. Give it.

    Oh, I have. Several times. I cannot change someones mind about what they ultimately want. Got my own wedding to focus on. I did tell her though, she should really quit focusing on what size her bridesmaids are and focus on herself and fitting into her own dress. She is not exactly a skinny minny so I am not sure where she gets off on telling people they are fat and need to lose weight.

    "... focus on herself and fitting into her own dress." This got a big old HAH from me :laugh:

    Oh, and Best Luck and Wishes for YOUR wedding day :drinker:
  • saschka7
    saschka7 Posts: 577 Member
    I would be ashamed to be that bride's friend

    Me too. That is so obnoxiously sad and pathetic. If I were a bridesmaid and the bride told me she wanted her bridesmaids to lose weight or they would be replaced, I would check my watch and say "Gotta run. I promised myself I would strictly limit my interactions with losers today. And you can go ahead and replace me now because I'm pretty sure that on your wedding day I'll be busy hanging out with people of substance which obviously does not include you."

    I'm not a violent type, but I would just love to see a meltdown, knock-down drag-out fight between a bridezilla and a bridesmaid who told her to eff off over something like this.
  • fitandgeeky
    fitandgeeky Posts: 232 Member
    My sister did this. No one in her bridal party was larger than a size 8. Fortunately, it was during one of my better times and that stipulation didn't effect me. I still wanted to choke her for it. What's worse, the bride and all the other bridesmaids went on a ridiculous crash diet, cheering each other on. I was the odd one out.
  • nickymarie011
    nickymarie011 Posts: 152 Member
    The awful part about it is she knows some of the girls in my bridal party and she was telling me I should do the same as her and request them to lose some weight LOL. Some people *shakes head* ...I have been seeing this time and time again on television though, so I didn't know if it was the 'norm' or what.

    She opened the door for you to give your opinion on what she is doing. Give it.

    Oh, I have. Several times. I cannot change someones mind about what they ultimately want. Got my own wedding to focus on. I did tell her though, she should really quit focusing on what size her bridesmaids are and focus on herself and fitting into her own dress. She is not exactly a skinny minny so I am not sure where she gets off on telling people they are fat and need to lose weight.

    I'd honestly be tempted to egg her on because the friendship and her wedding are doomed anyway. You might as well encourage her to self destruct in the most spectacular way possible. Just don't forget your video camera.

    She's screwing herself over anyway lol. Her future sister in law declined being a bridesmaid because of her request. Way to go to get your new family to like you... Meh, she's not always this bad, it just seems the wedding planning has brought out the crazy in her.
  • scookiemonster
    scookiemonster Posts: 175 Member
    You're right. And I'm more than thrilled and proud to say that I do not have a single friend in my life who is such a shallow, nasty, hurtful, narcissistic human being.

    This. Insisting that people lose weight to make your wedding pictures look good is about as full-on ***** as it gets, and I'm proud to say that there's nobody wasting space in my life who would ever do that. If I didn't know they were like that and it came out during wedding planning (which tends to bring out the worst in people), I think I'd have a hard time ever looking at her the same way again after that.

    I have a hard time with brides who insist on cookie cutter bridesmaids to begin with. Matching dresses and shoes is one thing, but some brides just go way too far. If you ask me to be in your wedding party, it's because you love me for who I am and you want me there. I am here to support you and be there for you on a day that will change the rest of your life. If you just want me to fill out a quota of matching manikins to look pretty in your pictures, find someone else. Being a bridesmaid is expensive and time consuming, and I don't need to do that for someone who can't even love and respect me for who I am. I treated my bridesmaids with love and respect and honored the fact that each one is a unique and special person, and that's why I wanted them there in the first place. Some of the entitlement that people think comes with being "the bride" (like you're not one of a zillion who have come before you) just makes me sick.

    Weight loss is hard work, and, more importantly, it's intensely personal. It's not something you do because some ***** wants prettier wedding pictures. Anybody who can't respect that isn't worth my time.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Wow.
  • beckydragonpoet
    beckydragonpoet Posts: 50 Member
    I don't know this person, but if you want skinny chicks that you don't know well hire models, although they will be way prettier than the bride and will likely take your man or women depending on who you marry. I'm assuming the person they are marring is as vacuous as them so...
  • Well that's a wedding sure to last. *snort*
  • nickymarie011
    nickymarie011 Posts: 152 Member
    My sister did this. No one in her bridal party was larger than a size 8. Fortunately, it was during one of my better times and that stipulation didn't effect me. I still wanted to choke her for it. What's worse, the bride and all the other bridesmaids went on a ridiculous crash diet, cheering each other on. I was the odd one out.

    See, I knew it wasn't that far fetched. Bride to be's have been getting crazier and crazier. I hope I don't drink the Kool- aid lol
  • tyme4rme
    tyme4rme Posts: 2 Member
    she doesn't want bridesmaids she wants a cast. she isn't anyones friend.