Soooo....I Have Cancer
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I can't add anything that hasn't already been said but just wanted to add my best wishes for a full and speedy recovery.0
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As a Relay For Life Team Co-Chair BIG HUGS to you. You WILL get through this. You have so many prayers coming your way from complete strangers here on MFP along with many many more prayers from your family and friends. You WILL beat Cancer!!!0
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Attitude makes all the difference. Give yourself permission to lean on others for any type of help you might need, moral support, emotional, whatever - for those little things like help around the house, cooking, cleaning, yard work. Remember that you were on top of this and that means it's more likely that you caught this early. I agree with the taking a notebook for every doctor's appointment to make sure to write everything down. If you can, I would also take someone in with you to catch what you may not. Do you have someone who's good at researching to find answers for what you hear? Be sure to ask as many questions as you need to so that you understand what to expect & remember the doctors provide you with a service and they should make sure you are knowledgeable.
I say all these things because it's been 10 years since I heard I had ovarian cancer. Not at all expected. BUT as you have done, I listened to my body in the first place and knew something was wrong. First doctor said it was nothing, second one realized it was a cyst that should be removed. I scheduled surgery to remove the cyst. Took a friend to my doctor's appointment because she had a better understanding of physiology than me, DH would have been there if I'd asked but I don't like trouble people - don't worry about troubling people. The surgeon was very surprised that we had as many questions as we did; once he got over that surprise he was very good about explaining and giving me suggestions of where to do further research. He did say there was a minimal chance my cyst could be cancerous. Still, no bedside manner whatsoever when he told me as I was alone in the recovery room that the cyst looked cancerous and they removed everything including appendix just to be safe. Also wasn't fun to hear nurse outside door refer to me as ovarian cancer, wanted to scream about being a person. However, I was stage 1, phase borderline which is generally unheard of for ovarian cancer. Never had chemo or any other treatment except the surgery. It happens more often that you might think.
Believe, as I do, that you've caught this early enough.0 -
They have made such great strides in erradicating cancer from the body. It's still lethal in some cases but they're finding new ways to lower the mortality rate every day. It's super scary but you can do it! And before you know it this will all just be a distant memory. BIG HUGS to you and wishing for a speedy recovery.0
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tl;dr...I know.
I have a history of some ugly white spots appearing on my tongue. They were first noticed by my dentist at a 6 month check-up in 2008 and then again by me in 2010. Biopsies were performed and and each time it was determined that it was just dysplasia. While it didn't seem like a big deal, my ENT removed the tissue from my tongue. It was not a pleasant experience to say the least.
Fast forward to May of this year and thing started to feel a little weird while we were in California on vacation. I decided to just let it go, see if it would go away, whatever. After about a week and a half, things weren't feeling better so I took a look in the mirror. I knew immediately that something was wrong. It looked completely different than the last 2 versions and was in a slightly different location. I was scared.
I scheduled an appointment with my ENT for Friday June 14. He did a very thorough exam of my tongue. I could tell he did not like what he was seeing and feeling. He sat down on his chair, expressed an enormous level of concern with what he saw, and then told me those words that I will never EVER forget:
“You have cancer.”
My mind started spinning out of control and I felt like one of the characters from Mortal Kombat was using my stomach as a speedbag. I think he just said I have cancer. That cannot be true…can it? This isn't supposed to happen to a 30 year old guy that doesn't smoke, doesn't chew, drinks in moderation, and is arguably in the best shape of his life, right? A thousand questions started flooding my mind. How did this happen? You know this just by LOOKING at it? What are the next steps? I know you are a smart doctor but there is a chance you could be wrong…right? Do I need chemo? Radiation? What do I tell my family? Am I going to die.....?
Two biopsies, CT scan, chest x-ray, blood work, an MRI, 2nd and 3rd opinions in hand, and 6 days later his original diagnosis was confirmed.
I have cancer.
Woah. I called my family and close friends and told them the news. I repeated the story about a dozen times over the following week or so but the words didn't really seem to sink in. That quickly changed during my 2nd appointment with my head and neck surgeon. We reviewed the MRI scan and the tumor was staring me right it the eyes. Talk about a reality check. This *kitten* just. Go. Real. My surgeon put his hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eyes, and said, "You're going to be okay. You're going to be okay."
The next steps are surgery to remove the tumor and the lymph nodes in my neck, skin graft/reconstruction on my tongue, a 7-14 day recovery in the hospital, an additional 2-3 week recovery at home. After review of the pathology results of the lymph nodes and tumor I'll know whether or not I need radiation. At this time it seems as though it will be necessary (according to my surgeon, but it's technically TBD) which means 6-6 1/2 weeks of treatment followed by ~4 weeks of recovery afterwards.
Right now it's the fear of the unknown that scares me the most. I have no idea what to expect coming out of surgery. I'll likely need a feeding tube from my noes to my stomach and it's possible that I'll need a temporary tube in my trachea depending on how swollen my mouth and throat are when he is finished working. These things scare me but I know that I am in the hands of incredibly talented and compassionate doctors and nurses.
I have no idea why I'm sharing this with a bunch of strangers in the interwebz. I'm not looking for pity and I'm not looking for sympathy. Maybe I'm just using this as a form of therapy.
If you've made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read my story.
One thing is certain: I'm ready to put up the fight of my life and come out on the other side as a stronger person.
So heavy....my heart aches for you as I think what you must be going through trying to grasp this news. Please stay strong, fight this...you have your age on your side. Biggest hugs and prayers for you. You're gonna be okay, I just know it :flowerforyou:
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Stay strong, you can get through this!0
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I have close relatives who have gone through cancer treatments, and are out the other side. My words of adivce is to accept support from family and friends, therapists as needed. And remember, you have cancer but don't let it rule your life, it is not the be all and end all of your existence. You can do this. :flowerforyou:0
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I truely believe in the power of prayer! I am sending prayers your way for a speedy and complete recovery! :flowerforyou:0
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Wow, I have no idea what to say. So I'll just wish you all the best. Stay strong.0
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I wish I had magic words that could take away all the fear, anxiety, anger and a ton of other feelings you probably have. We learned just over a year ago that my dad had Cancer, it was a roller coaster of emotions. You seem to have a strong spirit, hope and a lot of fight, it's amazing how much those things will help you. I wish you all the luck in the world. Feel free to message me if you would like to talk.0
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You are brave for posting this, and I applaud you for reaching out during what must be a very difficult time for you. I'm sure the diagnosis was very tough for you to deal with, but now you are moving toward getting treatment. I wish you much health and healing. Stay strong....and on the days you are weak, allow your loved ones to lift you up.0
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That totally sux- but I know one thing- you will win. You are on this website- you care enough to do what it takes and to do it right. You have already shown that you can master your health and win. You will beat cancer. No doubt about it.0
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if it helps, both my mum and sister have had cancer that was spotted in time and came through it. also a friend had breast cancer and she had to have her lymph nodes removed and one breast removed, had to go through chemo, lost all her hair. it was incredibly scary for her, but she came through it in the end with the love and support of her friends and family and the good care from the doctors. i'm sure you'll get through it and hopefully the experience will (in a strange way) have a positive effect on your outlook on life.0
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Hang in there, be strong, do not give up! I'm so glad you posted this because there will be people praying for you, including me. I believe in miracles and healing. I don't know what your faith is, but I know from experience a very powerful two word prayer................Jesus Help. He'll be there and will give you a second (third, forth) chance.0
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With your positive attitude everything will be alright. My thoughts and prayers to you.0
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You seem to be very strong of spirit & ready to get thru the surgery. Thank The Lord your surgeon said you will be ok.Take him at his word.Surround yourself with friends & family to help you thru these hard times.
Being young & otherwise healthy will go a long ways in healing.Hugs & prayers. Pat C0 -
you WILL get through this (((hugs)))0
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Seriously, you guys are the best. I am totally overwhelmed by the replies to this thread along with the messages that many of you have sent. From the bottom of my heart: Thank You.
#strongerthancancer0 -
God is good!! Nothing is impossible to Him!!0
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Thank you for sharing your story.
All I can really think to say is:
KICK ITS *kitten*!!!
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
13 pages of comments in and I still feel the need to post. My grandfather had tongue cancer probably close to 20 years ago. They removed it from the back of his tongue and used part of the back of his thigh to replace the tissue. Sounds very similar to what you are going through. All you can do is feel like the best is going to happen. He was in his 70s when he had it done and lived a long time after it. We always joked with him about having part of his *kitten* on his tongue, it even grew hair which he said was quite a weird feeling.
Just believe things will be alright and it will be.0 -
Praying for you....0
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You can beat the cancer!! It takes a lot share a story like that. You are very brave and very strong!! You will be fine!0
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*Hugs* Praying for you0
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Words just aren't enough at a time like this but I'd be remissed if I didn't take the time to at least try and speak something to your heart. How courageous, you are to even share with us what you are currently facing. I truly believe it's a sure sign and evidence that you will come out on the other side of this thing, GREATER, STRONGER and BETTER!!!
I, too was given the same news 10 years ago and like you, I couldn't understand how as I didn't indulge in behaviors and habits as well that triggers this kind of a thing. All I can say is that I never would have made it to the otherside of this thing w/out FAITH in an all wise and knowing God! From that day to this day I've trusted Him, leaned on Him and his sovereignty. He is able to do "exceedingly, abundantly above all that we can ask, think or imagine!" (Ephesians 3:20)
Hang in there! One day at a time! I once heard it said, trying to eat a whole elephant all at once can be very burdensome and disheartening. But if you eat it, one bite at a time, it's less intimidating! Giants, do fall!!!
Hugs,
Camechia Nesmith aka "Colorfulbutterfly"0 -
tl;dr...I know.
I have a history of some ugly white spots appearing on my tongue. They were first noticed by my dentist at a 6 month check-up in 2008 and then again by me in 2010. Biopsies were performed and and each time it was determined that it was just dysplasia. While it didn't seem like a big deal, my ENT removed the tissue from my tongue. It was not a pleasant experience to say the least.
Fast forward to May of this year and thing started to feel a little weird while we were in California on vacation. I decided to just let it go, see if it would go away, whatever. After about a week and a half, things weren't feeling better so I took a look in the mirror. I knew immediately that something was wrong. It looked completely different than the last 2 versions and was in a slightly different location. I was scared.
I scheduled an appointment with my ENT for Friday June 14. He did a very thorough exam of my tongue. I could tell he did not like what he was seeing and feeling. He sat down on his chair, expressed an enormous level of concern with what he saw, and then told me those words that I will never EVER forget:
“You have cancer.”
My mind started spinning out of control and I felt like one of the characters from Mortal Kombat was using my stomach as a speedbag. I think he just said I have cancer. That cannot be true…can it? This isn't supposed to happen to a 30 year old guy that doesn't smoke, doesn't chew, drinks in moderation, and is arguably in the best shape of his life, right? A thousand questions started flooding my mind. How did this happen? You know this just by LOOKING at it? What are the next steps? I know you are a smart doctor but there is a chance you could be wrong…right? Do I need chemo? Radiation? What do I tell my family? Am I going to die.....?
Two biopsies, CT scan, chest x-ray, blood work, an MRI, 2nd and 3rd opinions in hand, and 6 days later his original diagnosis was confirmed.
I have cancer.
Woah. I called my family and close friends and told them the news. I repeated the story about a dozen times over the following week or so but the words didn't really seem to sink in. That quickly changed during my 2nd appointment with my head and neck surgeon. We reviewed the MRI scan and the tumor was staring me right it the eyes. Talk about a reality check. This *kitten* just. Go. Real. My surgeon put his hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eyes, and said, "You're going to be okay. You're going to be okay."
The next steps are surgery to remove the tumor and the lymph nodes in my neck, skin graft/reconstruction on my tongue, a 7-14 day recovery in the hospital, an additional 2-3 week recovery at home. After review of the pathology results of the lymph nodes and tumor I'll know whether or not I need radiation. At this time it seems as though it will be necessary (according to my surgeon, but it's technically TBD) which means 6-6 1/2 weeks of treatment followed by ~4 weeks of recovery afterwards.
Right now it's the fear of the unknown that scares me the most. I have no idea what to expect coming out of surgery. I'll likely need a feeding tube from my noes to my stomach and it's possible that I'll need a temporary tube in my trachea depending on how swollen my mouth and throat are when he is finished working. These things scare me but I know that I am in the hands of incredibly talented and compassionate doctors and nurses.
I have no idea why I'm sharing this with a bunch of strangers in the interwebz. I'm not looking for pity and I'm not looking for sympathy. Maybe I'm just using this as a form of therapy.
If you've made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read my story.
One thing is certain: I'm ready to put up the fight of my life and come out on the other side as a stronger person.
Kick its *kitten*.0 -
You WILL get through this!0
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I wanted to thank you and commend you for your post. It was very courageous of you to post it and since we haven't heard from you since July 2 I assume you are in the middle of the treatments. We look forward to an update and pray all is going well.
Because of your post I gave my tongue a thorough self-exam and found a couple of strange white patches on the side. I have an appt with an ENT tomorrow to get them looked at. If it turns out to be cancer I will be so thankful for your courage because who knows how long it would have been till I found it without reading your post.
Good luck and update us when you can.0 -
Surgery went well according to my doc. 9 hours and 40 minutes later I was in the ICU.
After sugery I had a breathing tube in my left nostril, feeding tube in my right nostril. My neck swelled to the size of a softball from the lymph node removal and had a 2 draining tubes in it. My right forearm had a sleeve-like bandage on it to cover the incision they made to take the artery/vein for my flap reconstruction. My right wrist had this weird vacuum bandage on it covering the area that they harvested skin for my tongue from. My right thigh had a ~1.5 inch x ~4 inch area where they took skin to replace to skin on my right wrist. Turns out I didn't need a trachostemy which was good (one less tube coming out of my body...).
On Tuesday night my blood pressure, pulse, and temp started to soar and I was sweating profusely. My room was set to be maintained at 74 degrees F so the blood vessels in my mouth wouldn't constrict in order for the flap to heal. Every. Single. Bone in my body was saying, "Time to wave the white flag dude. You're done." It was a very odd experience. Every breath seemed to take 5 minutes. I closed my eyes and said to myself, "Not a chance you're giving up now. Keep fighting. Don't give up." I have no idea if they gave me any meds (I'd be surprised if they didn't) but my BP and pulse eventually came back down.
I was transferred to a "regular" hospital room on Wednesday late in the afternoon. Later that evening my surgeon paid us a visit. He looked at my mouth, said it looks great, and asked if he could share some good news with us. He said (more) words that I will never forget: "The margins on the tumor were exceptionally clear, and so were all of the lymph nodes we removed." Tears welled up in my eyes as well as my wife's. Through a swollen tongue I was able to manage a "Thank you, doctor. Thank you." Since the question was on both of our minds my wife asked what this means as far as radiation is concerned. He said the path results were definitely a game changer but he didn't want to completely rule it out yet. My surgeon is going to meet with a radiation oncologist at his hospital (this whole thing was done out of network....that's a whole other story that I could go on and on and on about....), discuss this at a weekly cancer forum, and also consult a radiation oncologist (in my network) where I would likely receive treatment if needed.
The tubes slowly but surely came out over the week but I came home with my feeding tube still in. Ugh. What a pain in the *kitten*. It didn't hurt but was uncomfortable and made it difficult to swallow and breathe. It came out at my appointment last week which was awesome. After he removed it my doctor handed me a small cup of water and said, "Here you go. Cheers." It was the first sip of water I had since the night before surger and it tasted oh so good.
I don't know what the deal is but I've been in essentially ZERO pain since leaving the ICU. It's been at least a week and a half since I've taken any sort of pain med. I'm not complaining. I asked my doc about this at my appointment last week...I was concerned that there may have been some sort of damage or something??...and he just chuckled and said no pain about the best thing we can expect and while not "normal" it isn't uncommon.
All my wounds are healing and I'm just waiting for the swelling in my mouth to go down so I can start eating real food again.
I can't get too far ahead of myself and I know I'm not out of the woods yet but things are looking pretty good. I still have a long way to go, especially if we do radiation. But I'm very grateful to be home and even more excited that I can eat soft solid food as long as I can tolerate it. It's getting boring though but I know it's just temporary.
I have an appointment next Tuesday with my radiation oncologist where we will discuss the pros and cons of radiation for my situation.
Be Well,
Josh0 -
Thank you Josh for the update and I wish you the best. You are a trooper and a fighter and you will conquer this. Glad that your wife is so supportive, half of the battle is won right there!!
Hopefully you will be able to chew some real food soon; in the mean time, I bet that the smoothies will keep you nourished :drinker:
The best to you!
Ely0
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