Strange weight loss comments...
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'are your boobs getting smaller? they better not! ' :noway:0
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My grandma said "you have such a pretty face,I want be rest to be. The same"
Grandfather chimed in saying"I will pay you a thousand dollars to lose weight"!....he was serious tooo
I'm 5"6,21,have a son....was 178lbs at that point though .0 -
Your husband is like my bf...I feel so fortunate to have a guy who loves me whatever size I am. Partly, it's that he loves me for who I am and, let's face it, my boobs are never going away. He has expressed concern that I might lose my curves and I can't imagine that will happen. This morning, he saw me in one of my new outfits (aka clothes that actually fit perfectly) and was like, "you're getting skinny!" with very happy eyes :-) I'm wearing a size 18w pant and XL top. I have a pair of 16w pants and still need a 20 at times. I'm not skinny, but I'm getting there :-)
He initially asked me out based on my appearance when I weighed more than I do now.
my husband likes curves, too. i've always been VERY curvy. even when i was smaller. i'm currently still larger than i was when we got married, but i'm on my way down. at any rate, he sometimes makes comments about me 'losing my butt' or my belly, but he's finding things he likes about the changes, too. i often have to reassure him that i'll never lose my hips, and my butt will still be big, just it'll be smaller...but i know he'll be happy when i'm done. and it's helpful when he smiles at the changes he likes.
it's funny, there's a lot of psychological stuff that goes with the size we are and the changes we make. internally things change, and externally things change. not just our size or our shape, but the way we're treated, the way we think, the way we feel... and the getting used to those changes is surprising me. i haven't lost much, i still have quite a ways to go, but already i'm seeing that. very interesting.0 -
Wow...what would possess someone to say that to a stranger.0
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One of my college students (who thinks I cannot hear her): "She's lost a lot of weight! How could you not notice? She doesn't even need to wear a bra anymore!"
Great ?0 -
My sister told me that I am NOT supposed to be smaller than her. Nobody told me that rule!
Worse is my friend who reminded me that MY boobs used to weigh something. I'm a breast cancer survivor who had to have a double mastectomy...WHAT?!?!0 -
You look great!0
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"Omg you look so much better. You were getting really big"
Ugh thanks.. o.00 -
I'm a school principal. My administrative assistant says, "Don't lose anymore weight. The parents may think this school is too stressful for you and that's why you're losing weight. I don't want them to think you're sick or stressed out." SMH
Lol. I'm a teacher. I might tell the parents at next parents' evening that I have lost weight due to the stress of teaching their kids!
I haven't really had any strange comments. I often get 'what diet are you doing?'. Um, none. It's called eating healthily and exercising. The other day I got told I was skinny and having 2 kids must agree with me!0 -
"Gosh its a shame you lost all of the weight and none of it came off your butt"0
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My sister told me that I am NOT supposed to be smaller than her. Nobody told me that rule!
Worse is my friend who reminded me that MY boobs used to weigh something. I'm a breast cancer survivor who had to have a double mastectomy...WHAT?!?!
OMG. I am soo sorry she said that. What a ... yeah know. *hugs*0 -
DH and I are both trying to lose weight. He has lost more than me and is now in healthy BMI range. At sister-in-laws recently she commented on both of us. She told him he looked sexy now! Also that he looked pregnant before! He just replied that oh yes he was but he just didn't want to tell anyone cos he wasn't sure whose it was! That shut her up.
She told me I looked younger and sexy too. Gee thanks I think....amazing knack of making a compliment seem like a veiled insult.0 -
Bump!0
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I hate when people say that they're proud of me. So does that mean that they weren't proud of me before?
I truly believe that people don't understand the psychological implications that their flippant statements about the weight of others have on them. As someone who has struggled my entire life with my weight and has to take steroids just to survive, it really hurts when people just make comments without thinking.
And honestly, the flattery is weird. I don't even know how I'm going to react once I get in my goal weight zone. I'm probably going to move somewhere where no one knows me. Haha.0 -
I've learned to understand that "Your face is small," can be a compliment, maybe meaning I've lost weight. I don't know whether to say "Thank you" or "Okay?" but the Koreans tend to say this.0
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I think people either say weird things about weight loss because they are uncomfortable or unaware of the sensitivity of the subject. It also seems strange when people don't say anything after substantial loss> like no one wants to bring up how overweight you once were and might even still be.
I have recently been told, how she "can't believe how my shape has changed" as opposed to just shrinking I guess? But I'm thinking, of course my shape will change, I used to have no waist and a blob for a middle - now I have some curve. I also think it's not helpful when people try to say that no one looks at you and focuses on the fat. When you are significantly overweight it is part of your identity and one the very first things people notice and take note of I think. Un-fun comments I have also herd are "how it must be nice to have such a smaller belly and to be able to see my toes"! Really!? Is that what you were looking at me and thinking before? I totally could have gone my whole life not knowing that!0 -
Sounds like you have some real unsupportive people around you who like to see you hurt over your body issues. I wouldn't let them get off the hook... Either call em on it and they will learn not to disrespect you, or disassociate from them. People who have never lost any real weight have no idea how much work it is and not just at the table or the gym, but ALL the time, ALL the thinking patterns and deprivation and shame and 2 steps forward - 1 step back, and 1 step forward, 2 back... But if these people are close to you I think they might have an idea of the struggle, and are not comfortable with you doing something so difficult because then they cant focus their energy on you and what judgement they might make - they would actually have to think about how will power could better their own life. In my experience most people wish they had more will power in at least one area that is holding them back from perceived "happiness"0
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Sounds like you have some real unsupportive people around you who like to see you hurt over your body issues. I wouldn't let them get off the hook... Either call em on it and they will learn not to disrespect you, or disassociate from them. People who have never lost any real weight have no idea how much work it is and not just at the table or the gym, but ALL the time, ALL the thinking patterns and deprivation and shame and 2 steps forward - 1 step back, and 1 step forward, 2 back... But if these people are close to you I think they might have an idea of the struggle, and are not comfortable with you doing something so difficult because then they cant focus their energy on you and what judgement they might make - they would actually have to think about how will power could better their own life. In my experience most people wish they had more will power in at least one area that is holding them back from perceived "happiness"0
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My mom tells me how I get skinnier every time she sees me, and two hours later comments how I have a big butt. Umm....?
Also I hate the "you don't have to worry about it! Have another slice/bigger piece/dessert/more cheese/eat sausage/etc." After you just sat there wondering out loud how many calories it had and commented on how fattening/unhealthy it was? Really? You made it sound so appetizing. And maybe I'm not hungry any more? Probably my least favourite scenario.0 -
My little sister was getting rid of some clothes and she had a men's size small tshirt that I asked if I could keep because i like it and it would be awesome to be able to have it as an inspiration item. (currently in a tightish size medium at 185 lbs with goal of 130-140)
my boyfriend's response: "if you get to the point where you can comfortably wear a small tshirt, i probably wont be attracted to you anymore. that would be too skinny."
well then i guess ill find someone who is attracted to me??
Hahahaha, got something like that from my man, he told me that he felt bones where he has never felt bones before, then went on to warn me not to loose anymore weight or else he is going to bring a fat girl home.........really????0 -
know most of the people that are telling you that are secretly wishing they can be doing the same they just won't admit it. don't worry about any of that stuff stay focused on your goals don't let anyone mess that up just shrug it off and say thanks.0
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My sister told me that I am NOT supposed to be smaller than her. Nobody told me that rule!
Worse is my friend who reminded me that MY boobs used to weigh something. I'm a breast cancer survivor who had to have a double mastectomy...WHAT?!?!
OMG WTF. well done on beating breast cancer. You are a fighter.0 -
My mom and 2 of my friends keep saying my bum is now flat and/or I have no bum. I am a pear shape and DEFINITELY have huge hips and bum even with weight loss. No, my rear end doesn't stick out as far in a pair of jeans or make my shirts ride up in the back now. But it's not flat or small!! Not even close.
My fiance who likes big butts and cannot lie: "Your legs and belly are getting smaller which just makes your bum look bigger and rounder! WTF are they talking about!?" Love that man ;-)0 -
'wow you must've been REALLY big then'.... :frown:0
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I think you have to take the comments with the intent they were given. Some people may be trying to compliment, but it comes out wrong. Be grateful they are trying to be supportive. Others are trying to hurt or are jealous. Those you can be angry at!0
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I can't think of any rude comments, but I do agree with a previous poster who stated that a lot of people don't mean to be rude, they are just awkward or uncomfortable because they obviously notice a difference and aren't sure what to say. My problem actually is that I've always carried my weight well and literally no one believes that I've lost as much weight as I have. They know that I've lost A LOT of weight and completely transformed my body, they just don't believe that I was heavy enough to lose 110 pounds. This is especially humorous when I tell them I want to lose another 20 lol. It's a blessing and a curse.
A HA! I just remembered a very painful awkward conversation with my aunt! Can't believe I had forgotten this. I guess I was blocking it out LOL! So, I see my aunt for the first time in about six months, the difference between me having lost about 40 pounds to me having lost about 100 pounds. She makes SEVERAL objectionable comments; a.) "when (my uncle) mike mentioned at (another aunt) jeanna's wedding that you had lost so much weight I really couldn't see it but now I can." OKAY, I had lost 40 pounds, everyone could see it, but okay whatever. b.) she made me take off my shirt (had a tank top underneath) so she could see me better because I shouldn't be "hiding my body anymore"! UMM I'm not hiding my body but we were still getting snow in March and I don't run around in just tank tops in snow... c.) "do you think you've lost too much now? I can see your collar bones and your ribs"! NO! I have always had a large bone structure, you could see my collar bones and ribs when I was younger (in shape) too. d.) "oh but what's this?" (squeezing my little fat roll on my belly) ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?! Please don't ever touch me again! LOL! Not cool! e.) asks my mom a few days later if I'm anorexic and/or if I'm eating enough. MY LITTLE FAT ROLL says that I'm eating plenty! LOL. (p.s. I eat about 2000 calories/day so obviously this is not a real issue). f.) also tells my mom that my face has gotten too skinny and that I was prettier when I had a little more roundness in my face. SUCK IT!! Look at my profile pic, my "before" face is definitely NOT more attractive!!! Wow that feels good to get out. Great post OP, I guess I was really bottling that up inside LOL!
Things that no one should ever tell/ask a "dieter"/someone who's losing weight:
-are you allowed to eat that?
-are you cheating on your diet?
-are you going to eat all of that?
-is that all your going to eat?
-what diet are you on?
-are you sick?
-do you have an eating disorder?
-you looked better when you were bigger
-you shouldn't lose any more weight
-don't lift weights or you'll get bulky (HAD to throw this one in!!!)
-can't you just skip this one workout?
-do you really have to workout today/every day/all the time? (YES, because it helps me burn off my frustration from idiots like you that ask me silly questions/make ridiculous comments...lol)
***unless someone has shown clear examples of having distorted perception of their own bodies, we clearly know ourselves and our bodies best, let us handle our diets (noun vs verb) and our exercise routines. K? Thanks.0 -
I notice a lot about the "non comments". I have experienced this too. I've lost 26 lb since the end of March but since 2008 I've lost about 70 lb. My dad and stepmom have not commented at ALL and don't say anything even when other members of the extended family, or acquaintances, make "OMG You look great, you've lost a lot of weight" comments right in front of them. I don't get it.
My dad was always pretty overweight, and a big 6'4" guy...but now he's lost a lot of weight himself from walking for his health. I would think that he of all people would comment favorably about my weight loss but he never does. The other day I made a comment about selling my clothes that were too big and still nothing. We go to lunch once a week together and 2 yrs ago we were eating chicken fried steak...now it's veggie flatbread or sharing a piece of fish and he still has never commented!0 -
I notice a lot about the "non comments". I have experienced this too. I've lost 26 lb since the end of March but since 2008 I've lost about 70 lb. My dad and stepmom have not commented at ALL and don't say anything even when other members of the extended family, or acquaintances, make "OMG You look great, you've lost a lot of weight" comments right in front of them. I don't get it.
My dad was always pretty overweight, and a big 6'4" guy...but now he's lost a lot of weight himself from walking for his health. I would think that he of all people would comment favorably about my weight loss but he never does. The other day I made a comment about selling my clothes that were too big and still nothing. We go to lunch once a week together and 2 yrs ago we were eating chicken fried steak...now it's veggie flatbread or sharing a piece of fish and he still has never commented!
Dads find it awkward. Maybe he's afraid he will hurt your feelings if he noticed you were bigger, or maybe he's just oblivious (some people are)? It killed my dad to see me at 262lb but he never mentioned it. Now I've lost 70lb and he'll tell me I look great, but only at the prompting of my mother. Ask your Dad what he thinks. Great job by the way - we rock!0
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