Do men secretly want a more traditional housewife?
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But of course you can. My personal preference is for someone who is independent. Just my own preference.Depends on the guy. Myself and among most of my friends, nope, prefer a woman who has a job and is independent.
You can't be a working woman while doting on your husband?0 -
I consider myself pretty old fashion. I gave up my career to stay home and raise my kids, but I also run a home daycare and bring in a pretty good income myself.
I do all the cooking and laundry. My husband does the outside work and he will clean up the dishes after dinner. As for cleaning the house we share the job. I do the bathrooms, tidying and floor washing and he does the dusting and run the vacuuming (thankfully, because I HATE dusting!!) He does this, not because I expect him too, but because he wants to
I also make lunch for him everyday
We work as a team, sometimes he does more sometimes I do but we don't keep score. I don't think my husband would appreciate me be a lazy *kitten* prima donna who didn't want to do any domestic chores0 -
My thoughts exactly--I love him. Why would I not dote on him?
after careful google perusal of the many and varied definitions of the word "dote"
I am puzzled by the non-doters as I thought that this was what people in love wanted to do to one another? I suggest the lady posting this in her office print out the link provided as it makes prettier artwork for the office and more thought provoking. The end.
I wish I could post the link, but I don't have the image on a photo sharing website, nor do I have access to doing so at this time, unfortunately. I can say that a google image search will turn up hundreds of different copies in many different formats from modern to the original print.
In the same vein of thought, did anyone else find the life of a Stepford Wife appealing? (Excepting, of course, not having free will.)0 -
As a stay at home mom of 4, and wife to a guy that commutes over an hour to work and then again to come home...I'm happy to do all the stuff around the house! Most likely he or the kids (who do have chores) won't do things the way I want them anyway! HA!
He will however help bath the little guy or occasionally clean the downstairs bath and he also puts his laundry away after I wash/dry and fold it. Our teen boys take care of the yard work most of the time, and I do have a meal on the table every night.
He is a great provider and it has been wonderful for me to be home with the kids for the last 8 years. (and cheaper than daycare!) I don't know how I worked full time when the teens were little and still able to keep up with everything!
Hubby does coach a lot of the kids sports, too. I have no desire to work outside the home till the last one is in school, and I have no idea what I would want to do at that time. What we have works great. We are all happy and it runs smoothly
If he were an *kitten* about it..maybe this would read differently...LOL
edited to say that sometimes I am a total wreck when he gets home..and he will still tell me I look cute!! hehe0 -
no secret about it. Yes most men want this, it is in our DNA from the cave man days. Society has been at war against men and trying to train men to think differently.
the only secret is men want men to be men!! I always hear women talking and wanting REAL MEN. Where are all the real men at, etc.
Well I am glad we have the freedom to be whom we want to be, even if it is going against the grain.0 -
Many men want a wife who earns money and will wait on them hand and foot.0
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No thank you get out the house and get a job . I can cook, clean, and take care of the kids before and after work. So a woman staying at home will be useless.0
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No.
I want my woman to have a full time job, come home, cook, clean, take care of the kids, satisfy me sexually, and then let me go and hang out with my friends all day.
and this is why me and baby daddy didnt work out...0 -
The Good Wives Guide circa 1950!
Have dinner ready.
Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself.
Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away clutter.
Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, papers, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
Over the winter months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Prepare the children.
Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces, comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimise all noise.
At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him.
You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the right time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Make the evening his.
Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his real need to be at home and relax.
Your goal.
Try to make sure that your home is a place of peace and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone throught that day.
Make him comfortable.
Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or a warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is master of the house and as such, will always excercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.
You have no right to question him.
A good wife knows her place
For the record, I would like to say that I have this posted on my office wall at work. Some of the bullet points are little over the top--I'm not going to take off his shoes or arrange a pillow for him--but I think most are within reason. Who doesn't want their home to be a tranquil place? Who doesn't want to present a clean home? Who doesn't want to look good for her husband? We both work full time, so having dinner ready when he's home isn't an option, obviously. But I still consider making a wholesome and healthsome dinner (and lunch and breakfast) my responsibility. He didn't brow beat or shame me into it. Being a 1950's style housewife who also works isn't a role that was forced on me; it's a mantle I willingly took up out of the mutual love and respect that's between my husband and myself.
People forget that there is reciprocity at play here. I may do all the housework and have a dated set of responsibilities, but that does not mean that my husband is not without his duties, as well. He makes about twice as much as I do, which makes his job more profitable and beneficial to our household, which in turn means that we often rely more on his paycheck than on mine. Say what you will, but if the roles were reversed and I became the bread-winner, I would immediately feel more pressure. He also has duties at home like yardwork and home maintenance/repairs. We both tend the garden, but I would say he does the lion's share of the work on it.
Do I dote on him? Yes. Does he dote on me? Absolutely. People like to look at "The Good Wife's Guide" and ridicule it, but they're forgetting about the give and take between the husband and the wife. This is not a one-sided relationship with all of the work delegated to the wife; husbands have responsibilties that go hand-in-hand with these.
To actually answer the OP's question, my husband was delighted to find me so old-fashioned. A woman who's head over heels for him, is genuinely excited by domesticity--including cooking the meals, cleaning the house, keeping up with the laundry, etc.--and is willing to entertain pretty much anything he would suggest, from attending tractor pulls to spur of the moment road trips. It helps that I actually enjoy this particular role, but I can make room for the fact that not everyone would take joy in it.
This is me too! :-) My husband does all the "man" work (I never take out trash, mow, clean cars or anything) Generally I do all the traditional wife work. I never ask him to help, but because he is awesome he usually sees me cleaning, doing laundry or other chores and just starts helping if he doesn't have other chores to do. We never have to bicker about who does what. If he sees I'm tired he will grill dinner and clean by himself and "make" me nap :-) SO in the end we are a team no matter what.
We know what needs to get done and we do it, but I take pleasure in "housewife" work and enjoy presenting him with healthy meals, packing healthy lunches, and keeping a clean house so I generally am in charge of this aspect of our life. When we have kids (if ever) I hope to be in financial position to be able to stay home and raise them like I was raised. In the end I am a wife/mom first and a career woman second (I am also the resident nutritionist and trainer haha)
Its nice to see other women who don't see being a traditional wife as demeaning. If I could stay at home and keep a perfect house and cook every meal etc I would do it in a heartbeat!0 -
Jill of trades!0
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duh>>> men want a good little fun loving trollop,
all the time,0 -
No secret about it... I would love it if my girl would clean... even.... a little.0
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Secretly? No. I've made it abundantly clear. Has that gotten me anywhere? No!0
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depends on the man how he was raised and culture
Agreed.
My boyfriend now is VERY traditional because that's how he was raise. Hell, his father is 71 and STILL works two jobs 6 days a week for his house and family. He works one job 7am-3pm then another 4pm-11pm. He comes home when everyone is asleep, and he leaves back out while everyone is asleep. His wife (my boyfriend's mother) has adapted her schedule in order to be able to even see him. She gets up at 4am with him, and she sits up with him at midnight while he eats before bed. His mother and father are also the care takers of all the elderly on both sides of the family, which includes cutting everyone's grass, doing house repairs, paying for most of the bills and having everyone over to their house every holiday in order to get the family together (and one has cancer and has been ill for quite sometime). His parents also own a rental house, which his father must upkeep. Honestly, I don't know how they do it.
But back to your question: Because he was raised to take charge and be the one who can DO IT ALL, he wants me to stay at home once we have children. He wants me to be Susie Homemaker. He always comments on how he loves coming home to me and his son and there's dinner after he's been working all day, and he loves going to sleep at night with the house cleaned by me WHILE HE takes care of EVERYTHING else. The outside house work, the extended family, his son (he's not OUR son, so he feels like he should do more than I do even though I would gladly drive him to school, etc...but he refuses to let me), the bills. He doesn't want me to have to worry about anything other than taking care of him and our children and making sure we all can properly function in our lives (feed, bathed, fun).
Nonetheless, I have a graduate degree with a high paying job, currently. I do not foresee me leaving until I take leave for when we have children. I will ALWAYS work at some capacity (after children, who knows how it will work out). He isn't against me working, obviously, but he wants to take care of me (i.e. be the bread winner). I find it very manly and sexy.0 -
I don't know. I love making a man feel like a man and adored, appreciated. I do like working though, at something I enjoy.0
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My guy jokes about wanting me to be a traditional housewife, but he also likes the significant income boost from my job. And he realizes that with my demanding career I can't devote my life to his needs, so he can't have it both ways. So we have to approach household chores as a team, and we are both completely ok with that.0
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Can someone please make me a traditional housewife I hate working! I'd rather watch Regis and Kelly, catch up on my soap, complain about making lunch for my two year old, do a few chores, complain I have to run to the store to get some groceries, then make dinner, and complain to my husband how rough my day was. Please please make me traditional.0
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Just a thought my Grandma was a 50's wife and she was a full time teacher and mother to 5.0
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I LOVE being a doting housewife. Love love love it! I have a wonderful husband that treats me like a princess and I, in turn, love treating him like a king. He never EVER demands anything of me, I do it all because it brings me joy.
Ya know who gives me the most grief about being a housewife? Other women. They get catty, snoddy and try to make me feel like I am not a real woman because I enjoy staying at home and taking care of myself, my husband and my home. It is funny to me that after each and every time a woman who degrades me for staying at home, turns around with in an hour and says "I wish I could stay home".
I was 32 before I got married and had a great career and enjoyed it for the most part, and still have a part time gig I do from home when I feel like working or a client has a campaign they need me to do, but nothing gives me the satisfaction that laying down in clean sheets that smell like bleach and downey with the man that I love more than anything and know that he is happy, well fed and comfortable and happy because of me.0 -
My hubs grew up in that traditional house - dad worked, mom did the housework... he provided, she provided for him.
I on the other hand did NOT grow up like this. Both parents had jobs, all 3 of us where lack-key kids, he "tried" to lazy around when he got home but mom typically threatened him enough to go do some housework.
My and the hubs are the OPPOSITE of the 1950's family - I make most of the money, I have the stressful taxing job, but somehow I STILL end up doing all the housework, the cooking, the YARD work, bills, etc. I end up doing them because we would be living in a dark, smelly messy rat-trap w/ fast food and nothing else.
My hubs would LOVE it if I stopped harking at him to help, to STOP bringing up the fact that I am the breadwinner.... you know what, DON'T LIKE WHAT I HAVE TO SAY, STEP UP YOUR DAMN GAME.
Remember - you reap what you sow. In this day & age, most women have good paying job, an education and more. But somehow they are still saddled w/ all the crap that many "men" consider "women's work - dishes, cooking, housework, etc. Life isn't what it was in the 1950's, times have changed.
I would stay home and play "Sally Homemaker" if he was the breadwinner - but he isn't & he doesn't. So in order for OUR life to be plaseant, I do BOTH sides/roles.
*rant over - back away from the box and goes back to "working" for his living*0 -
Any media portrayal where a woman's hair, make up, and outfits are eternally "done" are extremely appealing to me. #spanishsoaps, #porn, #gossipgirl, #prettylittleliars, #themovieswherewomenfrommonstersandspiesinstilletos
My thoughts exactly--I love him. Why would I not dote on him?
after careful google perusal of the many and varied definitions of the word "dote"
I am puzzled by the non-doters as I thought that this was what people in love wanted to do to one another? I suggest the lady posting this in her office print out the link provided as it makes prettier artwork for the office and more thought provoking. The end.
I wish I could post the link, but I don't have the image on a photo sharing website, nor do I have access to doing so at this time, unfortunately. I can say that a google image search will turn up hundreds of different copies in many different formats from modern to the original print.
In the same vein of thought, did anyone else find the life of a Stepford Wife appealing? (Excepting, of course, not having free will.)0 -
I'm a teacher so I live both worlds: breadwinner and working mom 10 months of the year and stay home mom in the summer. My whole family is happy when I am able to spend more of my time and energy focusing on our family. However, after 2 months, I get antsy and am ready to go back to work. The rest rejuvenates our family life and makes it obvious to us all that we work best when we all pitch in. My husband thought he wanted me to stay home, but even he sees that I am happy when I work which sets a good example for our daughters and makes our home life happier in the long run.0
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Can someone please make me a traditional housewife I hate working! I'd rather watch Regis and Kelly, catch up on my soap, complain about making lunch for my two year old, do a few chores, complain I have to run to the store to get some groceries, then make dinner, and complain to my husband how rough my day was. Please please make me traditional.
Alright, alright. After my break.
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We both work. I wouldnt' say the house work was even but he helps.
However. He doesn't think you need to sweep the bathroom in order to qualify it as "clean". :grumble:0 -
My hubby likes a more traditional scenario( we are both in out mid 40's), but will support me when I work(worked) outside the home!! I like having my on $$$0
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I want a stay at home wife, but I'm not sure my income could support that...
I do this myself and look in the mirror just so I can get my 1950's house wife fix:
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I want a stay at home wife, but I'm not sure my income could support that...
I do this myself and look in the mirror just so I can get my 1950's house wife fix:
How YOU doin?
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I would love to be a traditional house wife, cleaning the house, taking care of the children, being provided for, being beautiful ALL day!? BRING IT ON! Of course my reality is the opposite so maybe thats why haha.0
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I didn't read what people have said so far, but I will say this:
Secretly everyone wants to be the center of their spouses universe. Even someone like me who likes to have her own space would love it sometimes if my husband could be commanded to do everything I want and need done at the very second I want it. Constantly make me his only priority and cater to my every whim. I don't care if you are a man or a woman.
However, that is totally unrealistic and anyone who centers around you only eventually suffocates you because they don't have any of their own interests. So in reality the only people who really want someone who centers everything around themselves is an abusive person who wants to completely control the other person and not let them ever be their own person.
FYI, outside interests aren't always a job outside the home, it could be anything, volunteering, hobbies, etc.0 -
I may lose a man card on this one, but I do the bathrooms exclusively, almost all of the cooking, and most of the dishes and kitchen cleaning. I also do the mowing, gardening, tree trimming, and house and car repairs, so hopefully that lets me keep it :laugh:
You should stop chore-hogging! That's selfish.
:laugh: :laugh:0
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