I DO NOT WANT my cake and I DO NOT WANT to eat it too...
Replies
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Just have a piece! I promise it won't kill you.
agreed! Why not a tiny slice and figure it in?
Is it a matter of unhealthy additives? Or a control issue over what you ingest?
But I understand that sometimes you just can't even have a bite and stay in control of "self".
Personally, I'd rather have pie for my birthday! Then I would lose control for sure!0 -
Op what exactly do you think will happen if you eat, say, 1 slice of this cake?
Fear of food like this is the real tragedy of the scaremongering over certains foods/nutrients.
It's your birthday and you are with your family, enjoy yourself.
Doesn't necessarily mean "fear of food" ~ couldn't it just be OP doesn't like cake?
How would it be enjoyable to eat something you just do.not like? I'm thinking *for me* change cake to lima beans and your suggestion doesn't sound pleasant at all
What would happen if I ate lima beans is my mouth would say "yuk". So too could be for OP re: cake, no? 0 -
Eat the damn cake!0
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For those who keep saying that a little bit won't hurt...for some people that sugar is as much of a drug as alcohol is for and alcoholic. One tiny taste is all it takes for a major bender.
I'm still working off the 10 lbs I gained after "just one bowl of ice cream". Alcohol? No problems...I can take it or leave it. But sugar and even white carbs will totally derange my metabolism and brain chemistry.
Refined sugar is a true drug for some people, and need to be treated that way. It's addicting and has a withdrawal syndrome. Since your sister-in-law cares enough about you to get a cake, she will care enough to respect your needs.
At family dinners, I generally remove myself from the table so I don't get too close to dessert (yes, I am weak, and this is what I have to do to be drug-free). I eat some fruit instead, or I eat extra veggies so I feel full by the time dessert rolls around.
I understand that this is a big deal for the O.P. Well-meaning relatives, friend and co-workers need to be informed of issues so as to support the O.P.'s goals. You don't offer alcohol to a recovering alcoholic, so why would you force sugar on someone who has a problem with it?0 -
OP, Here's what I'd do in your situation:
1) Make sure she's getting a NICE cake, size doesn't matter. Find a place you like that does nice cakes, hopefully not too far from your SIL. I know some people like the huge cheap cakes, no. Especially in N.A. , we've all gotten accustomed to "Costco sized" everything. Everyone should appreciate good quality, and if they don't, too bad.
2) Ensure it's YOUR favourite flavour. I don't think that's too much to ask, it is YOUR birthday. (BTW, happy b-day!) :drinker:
3) Work it into your macros for the day, and enjoy!
That's just me. I'm not "dieting", that implies a temporary situation, IMO. So to be sustainable for me at least, one has to work in the real world. Besides I WANT a piece every now and then! Cake too!0 -
I was only under on carbs, but who in their right mind says no to cake on their birthday? Send it to me... I'll be appreciative.Can I has your cake? I was under on fats and carbs last night.0 -
I'd do one of two things, if I were you:
1) Tell her ahead of time that you're craving a particular type of cake or pie or dessert for your birthday (I personally always ask for a pumpkin pie, or an ice cream cake....both are absolutely worth the cals to me!)
or
2) Take a piece of the cake, and pick at it. Leave some of the icing, which has the most calories and sugar.
But honestly, I never turn down my own birthday cake. It's once a year!!!!0 -
Here for cake.
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Can you just take one little bite?0
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For those who keep saying that a little bit won't hurt...for some people that sugar is as much of a drug as alcohol is for and alcoholic. One tiny taste is all it takes for a major bender.
I'm still working off the 10 lbs I gained after "just one bowl of ice cream". Alcohol? No problems...I can take it or leave it. But sugar and even white carbs will totally derange my metabolism and brain chemistry.
Refined sugar is a true drug for some people, and need to be treated that way. It's addicting and has a withdrawal syndrome. Since your sister-in-law cares enough about you to get a cake, she will care enough to respect your needs.
At family dinners, I generally remove myself from the table so I don't get too close to dessert (yes, I am weak, and this is what I have to do to be drug-free). I eat some fruit instead, or I eat extra veggies so I feel full by the time dessert rolls around.
I understand that this is a big deal for the O.P. Well-meaning relatives, friend and co-workers need to be informed of issues so as to support the O.P.'s goals. You don't offer alcohol to a recovering alcoholic, so why would you force sugar on someone who has a problem with it?
Yep, offering a piece of cake is JUST like offering a drink to an alcoholic.
Come to think of it, I have seen MANY people at my AA meetings who are there for sugar addiction...
*shakes head*0 -
Op what exactly do you think will happen if you eat, say, 1 slice of this cake?
Fear of food like this is the real tragedy of the scaremongering over certains foods/nutrients.
It's your birthday and you are with your family, enjoy yourself.
Doesn't necessarily mean "fear of food" ~ couldn't it just be OP doesn't like cake?
it seems pretty clear from the op that she won't eat it on the basis it is processed and therefore "unhealthy"i do not eat dessert/packaged or, in my view,
'unhealthy'(sugar, fat and other 'questionable' food-like products)items.0 -
If you like and normally enjoy cake, eat it.
If you just don't want the cake 'cuz you'd prefer not to have it/don't like it so much, politely ask her not to do that and suggest something more to your preferences.
If you're just avoiding it because you have the mentality of "Halp, I haet prepackijd fewds cuz they made me fat!" yer doin' it wrong.0 -
I think it depends on who you're talking to whether it's rude or not. If I told my parents that I didn't want a slice of cake that they had bought for me, they' be ok because they understand how important my health is to me, and they know I don't eat processed sugar and fat anymore.
However it was my OH family, who don't really know me, they probably would be offended because they're uptight and take things very personally. I'd say, "Yes please, I'd love a slice, but I'm so stuffed from dinner, do you mind if I wrap it up and save it for later?"
Next year i'd make sure to call before hand and politely ask them not to buy me a cake.
If you knew she was going to by you one, this one's on you really, should have called her earlier!0 -
For those who keep saying that a little bit won't hurt...for some people that sugar is as much of a drug as alcohol is for and alcoholic. One tiny taste is all it takes for a major bender.
Interestingly enough those same people still eat fruit and other carbs, therefore blowing a little hole in that theory0 -
its a slice of cake, not a ticking time bomb... :explode: 0
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Wow, this probably why most of us got fat, are fat, were fat, gained weight, lost weight, gained it again, lost it again, or have f.cked up food issues because of this need to eat food so we don't hurt peoples feelings.
It would not be rude to speak to her BEFORE your party/b-day about the cake situation.
It would however be rude to make a big stink about it, out loud, in front of everyone RIGHT AS she's lighting the candles.
If the bday girl doesn't want cake she doesn't have to eat the effing cake.0 -
Hey we should trade families. Nobodys gotten me a cake in 5 years lol0
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For those who keep saying that a little bit won't hurt...for some people that sugar is as much of a drug as alcohol is for and alcoholic. One tiny taste is all it takes for a major bender.
I'm still working off the 10 lbs I gained after "just one bowl of ice cream". Alcohol? No problems...I can take it or leave it. But sugar and even white carbs will totally derange my metabolism and brain chemistry.
Refined sugar is a true drug for some people, and need to be treated that way. It's addicting and has a withdrawal syndrome. Since your sister-in-law cares enough about you to get a cake, she will care enough to respect your needs.
At family dinners, I generally remove myself from the table so I don't get too close to dessert (yes, I am weak, and this is what I have to do to be drug-free). I eat some fruit instead, or I eat extra veggies so I feel full by the time dessert rolls around.
I understand that this is a big deal for the O.P. Well-meaning relatives, friend and co-workers need to be informed of issues so as to support the O.P.'s goals. You don't offer alcohol to a recovering alcoholic, so why would you force sugar on someone who has a problem with it?
Yep, offering a piece of cake is JUST like offering a drink to an alcoholic.
Come to think of it, I have seen MANY people at my AA meetings who are there for sugar addiction...
*shakes head*
You have obviously never heard of Overeaters Anonymous. Yes it's real and yes I do go. Processed sugar to me is like crack. I can hardly bear to be around it.0 -
This image is going to have me laughing all damn day!Here is what you do...
Take the cake with a smile on your face
stare at her while you slowly walk
towards the trash can pause with the plate over the trash can
let you smile sink into a deep frown
drop the cake in the trash can.
This will both drive your point home and be so awkward that she will never again buy you a damn cake.0 -
This place never ceases to amaze me :drinker:0
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thinking about this a little more and would like to add a more helpful response.
only YOU know why you don't want cake or even THAT you don't want cake (in your s-i-l's case). You need to say something ahead of time. Tell her you have always appreciated her efforts to honor you on your birthday but you have made some lifestyle changes and prefer not to have a birthday cake this year. If she still wants to provide that for any other guests who aren't like minded that's fine but you won't be eating it. Tell her you would love a fresh fruit salad in a watermelon bowl (or something like that).0 -
Your SIL would need to be a delicate little flower to be offended by you not eating cake. If I bought someone a birthday cake and they said they didn't want a bit then I wouldn't be bothered, it'll be getting shared round the other guests anyway so I'm sure it wouldn't go to waste. It seems a bit of an unhealthy attitude to attach your feelings to whether someone else eats something or not. Not every occasion has to centre around food.
It's a good idea to tell her beforehand though. I'm pretty straightforward about stuff like that, I always think it's better to just let people know how you're feeling. I would never eat something to make someone else happy. Isn't it supposed to be part of a healthy attitude to food to only eat something when you want it rather than for the sake of it.
I eat cake when I want it and not when I feel like I have to.
P.S. I love cake! My sister made me a castle cake for my birthday complete with edible glitter covered maltesers on top of the turrets, it was amazing!0 -
For those who keep saying that a little bit won't hurt...for some people that sugar is as much of a drug as alcohol is for and alcoholic. One tiny taste is all it takes for a major bender.
I'm still working off the 10 lbs I gained after "just one bowl of ice cream". Alcohol? No problems...I can take it or leave it. But sugar and even white carbs will totally derange my metabolism and brain chemistry.
Refined sugar is a true drug for some people, and need to be treated that way. It's addicting and has a withdrawal syndrome. Since your sister-in-law cares enough about you to get a cake, she will care enough to respect your needs.
At family dinners, I generally remove myself from the table so I don't get too close to dessert (yes, I am weak, and this is what I have to do to be drug-free). I eat some fruit instead, or I eat extra veggies so I feel full by the time dessert rolls around.
I understand that this is a big deal for the O.P. Well-meaning relatives, friend and co-workers need to be informed of issues so as to support the O.P.'s goals. You don't offer alcohol to a recovering alcoholic, so why would you force sugar on someone who has a problem with it?
Yep, offering a piece of cake is JUST like offering a drink to an alcoholic.
Come to think of it, I have seen MANY people at my AA meetings who are there for sugar addiction...
*shakes head*
You have obviously never heard of Overeaters Anonymous. Yes it's real and yes I do go. Processed sugar to me is like crack. I can hardly bear to be around it.
Sure I have heard of it.
Comparing the two is ridiculous in my mind..0 -
For those who keep saying that a little bit won't hurt...for some people that sugar is as much of a drug as alcohol is for and alcoholic. One tiny taste is all it takes for a major bender.
I'm still working off the 10 lbs I gained after "just one bowl of ice cream". Alcohol? No problems...I can take it or leave it. But sugar and even white carbs will totally derange my metabolism and brain chemistry.
Refined sugar is a true drug for some people, and need to be treated that way. It's addicting and has a withdrawal syndrome. Since your sister-in-law cares enough about you to get a cake, she will care enough to respect your needs.
At family dinners, I generally remove myself from the table so I don't get too close to dessert (yes, I am weak, and this is what I have to do to be drug-free). I eat some fruit instead, or I eat extra veggies so I feel full by the time dessert rolls around.
I understand that this is a big deal for the O.P. Well-meaning relatives, friend and co-workers need to be informed of issues so as to support the O.P.'s goals. You don't offer alcohol to a recovering alcoholic, so why would you force sugar on someone who has a problem with it?
Yep, offering a piece of cake is JUST like offering a drink to an alcoholic.
Come to think of it, I have seen MANY people at my AA meetings who are there for sugar addiction...
*shakes head*
You have obviously never heard of Overeaters Anonymous. Yes it's real and yes I do go. Processed sugar to me is like crack. I can hardly bear to be around it.
People with alcohol addiction don't go around substituting rum balls.
for a sugar addiction, you don't eat cake, then gorge on some sugary fruit? This is getting weird.0 -
Wow, this probably why most of us got fat, are fat, were fat, gained weight, lost weight, gained it again, lost it again, or have f.cked up food issues because of this need to eat food so we don't hurt peoples feelings.
It would not be rude to speak to her BEFORE your party/b-day about the cake situation.
It would however be rude to make a big stink about it, out loud, in front of everyone RIGHT AS she's lighting the candles.
If the bday girl doesn't want cake she doesn't have to eat the effing cake.
have you polled most of mfp, or are you making assumptions?0 -
I look forward to birthday celebrations... Because of the cake!!
I do understand where you are coming from though, however I would handle this very delicately because you don't want to turn off your family and lose their support in your journey. Advance notice of your preference would be nice or just have a sliver of cake OR you can just fit a real piece in your day! Either way - happy birthday!
Cheers!0 -
take the cake and do this
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Open your mouth and tell her you don't want traditional Birthday cake. It's your birthday you can have whatever you want. You sister in law is just trying to give you a good birthday. Tell her birthday cake is not your thing and you would prefer _______________ and that is she wants cake to get a small side cake.0
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"Yep, offering a piece of cake is JUST like offering a drink to an alcoholic.
Come to think of it, I have seen MANY people at my AA meetings who are there for sugar addiction... "
Tyty, I think you will find that most of your AA attendees have multiple addictions, including tobacco and sugar. I had to go to one of those in med school for training...there was caffeine and plenty of cookies and doughnuts. Drugs are drugs. And have you ever heard of "Overeaters Anonymous"?
I have many patients who have gone through rehab. They tell me outright about the extra sugar many of them use.
Your alcohol addiction is no more or less important or significant to you than another person's compulsive issues with another substance or behavior, or even as life-threatening. Please don't belittle other people's struggles, just because you don't share the same one.0 -
YesWill it be rude to refuse a piece?
"Thank you"What can I say to her when I'm offered a piece?
Just eat a small piece. It won't kill you. Be thankful that she thinks of you on your birthday!0
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