Sabotage???

flitabout
flitabout Posts: 200 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I know I am not the only person who has this issue. So my husband for our entire 10 marriage has been an over the road truck driver, well until the last 2 months. For the first six weeks I made the food everynight that he likes to eat thinking that he wouldn't eat anything I was eating because he really is a very picky eater. In the the last 2 weeks I decided that he would just have to get over it. once he realized that how serious I was about getting my pre-baby body back he has been really supportive!:smile:
Last night my step son came home and asked me if I could make this better than sex cake that he had at my girlfriends house. I told him no I wouldn't make it. That is wasn't fair to me that I would have make a cake that I then couldn't eat. He said well you could make it in cupcakes like Cori did and he would just eat it outside. I will be darned before I could even say another world my hubby jumped in and said not unless you want to die!!! You have no idea how proud of my husband I was! For the first time since I started trying to lose weight I feel like I have an actual ally!
So I have to wonder, with my husband being so great about this if I haven't been just sabotaging myself all this time? At least I know that he will back me up and be there for me when I am having a weak moment. I feel really good about this!
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Replies

  • Morninglory81
    Morninglory81 Posts: 1,190 Member
    This is refreshing! I love the fact that you recognize you are the one who makes your choices. It is also sweet your husband is there to back you up!
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    I know I am not the only person who has this issue. So my husband for our entire 10 marriage has been an over the road truck driver, well until the last 2 months. For the first six weeks I made the food everynight that he likes to eat thinking that he wouldn't eat anything I was eating because he really is a very picky eater. In the the last 2 weeks I decided that he would just have to get over it. once he realized that how serious I was about getting my pre-baby body back he has been really supportive!:smile:
    Last night my step son came home and asked me if I could make this better than sex cake that he had at my girlfriends house. I told him no I wouldn't make it. That is wasn't fair to me that I would have make a cake that I then couldn't eat. He said well you could make it in cupcakes like Cori did and he would just eat it outside. I will be darned before I could even say another world my hubby jumped in and said not unless you want to die!!! You have no idea how proud of my husband I was! For the first time since I started trying to lose weight I feel like I have an actual ally!
    So I have to wonder, with my husband being so great about this if I haven't been just sabotaging myself all this time? At least I know that he will back me up and be there for me when I am having a weak moment. I feel really good about this!

    No, apparently you're not the only one..

    This comes across as pretty selfish of you. Just because you are on a "diet" doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

    You couldn't make your stepson a cake and simply not have any or make room if your day for a piece? I went to school for baking & pastry and I bake things all the time for others because I enjoy it and because I like doing nice things for other people. I either don't have any or I fit it into my calories for the day.

    Edit: Since this is MFP I feel the need to add a disclaimer. This is merely my thoughts on the subject in hopes to give you a little perspective and shouldn't be misconstrued as being mean, rude, or a bully. Have a great day! :flowerforyou:
  • katejkelley
    katejkelley Posts: 839 Member
    It sounds like you have a great husband!
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    I might be a little old fasion, but why is your step son asking you for sex cake?
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    Last night my step son came home and asked me if I could make this better than sex cake that he had at my girlfriends house. I told him no I wouldn't make it. That is wasn't fair to me that I would have make a cake that I then couldn't eat.

    Fair? My grandmother was a diabetic and she made the most delicious cakes and food for us. She always kept ice cream around so she could offer us some when we came over. It's harder and harder to find people that aren't selfish these days.
  • cherryd69
    cherryd69 Posts: 340
    I know I am not the only person who has this issue. So my husband for our entire 10 marriage has been an over the road truck driver, well until the last 2 months. For the first six weeks I made the food everynight that he likes to eat thinking that he wouldn't eat anything I was eating because he really is a very picky eater. In the the last 2 weeks I decided that he would just have to get over it. once he realized that how serious I was about getting my pre-baby body back he has been really supportive!:smile:
    Last night my step son came home and asked me if I could make this better than sex cake that he had at my girlfriends house. I told him no I wouldn't make it. That is wasn't fair to me that I would have make a cake that I then couldn't eat. He said well you could make it in cupcakes like Cori did and he would just eat it outside. I will be darned before I could even say another world my hubby jumped in and said not unless you want to die!!! You have no idea how proud of my husband I was! For the first time since I started trying to lose weight I feel like I have an actual ally!
    So I have to wonder, with my husband being so great about this if I haven't been just sabotaging myself all this time? At least I know that he will back me up and be there for me when I am having a weak moment. I feel really good about this!

    No, apparently you're not the only one..

    This comes across as pretty selfish of you. Just because you are on a "diet" doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

    You couldn't make your stepson a cake and simply not have any or make room if your day for a piece? I went to school for baking & pastry and I bake things all the time for others because I enjoy it and because I like doing nice things for other people. I either don't have any or I fit it into my calories for the day.

    Edit: Since this is MFP I feel the need to add a disclaimer. This is merely my thoughts on the subject in hopes to give you a little perspective and shouldn't be misconstrued as being mean, rude, or a bully. Have a great day! :flowerforyou:

    This, Just because you 'cant' have it, dosnt mean others shouldnt be allowed to enjoy it. I make cakes all the time in this house. The other week i did 2 different types, banana and walnut, and lemon with poppy seed, i made them into individual cakes, that way i could still have one the next day if i wanted.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    wait, can I have the recipe for this better than sex concoction?
  • MzPix
    MzPix Posts: 177 Member
    You could teach him how to make the cake.
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member
    I don't have kids, but I don't believe that because I do something that everyone has to follow. If my husband wants funfetti cake, I'll make it. What's it going to hurt? I can have some or not, that's my decision. It's not my decision to tell him what he can't have.
  • cherryd69
    cherryd69 Posts: 340
    wait, can I have the recipe for this better than sex concoction?

    Google and you shall find, although this is type 2 :)

    http://allrecipes.com/recipe/better-than-sex-cake-ii/
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
    why would you want to deny others anything if you are the one on the self proclaimed diet. Why not make it a lifestyle change and if it fits in your macros - ENJOY.

    You only have one go around on this marble so we might as well enjoy it. I just find it unfair of you to be making decisions for everyone else, when this is only pertaining to your food issues.
  • Morninglory81
    Morninglory81 Posts: 1,190 Member

    This comes across as pretty selfish of you. Just because you are on a "diet" doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

    Your right just because she is on a diet doesn't mean everyone else has to be. They can make their own food. Just because she is mom doesn't mean she has to be short order cook.
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member

    This comes across as pretty selfish of you. Just because you are on a "diet" doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

    Your right just because she is on a diet doesn't mean everyone else has to be. They can make their own food. Just because she is mom doesn't mean she has to be short order cook.

    Does it say how old her step son is? What if he is too young to cook?
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    I might be a little old fasion, but why is your step son asking you for sex cake?


    It's a West Virginia type cake.
  • hopefaithlove24
    hopefaithlove24 Posts: 454 Member
    I know I am not the only person who has this issue. So my husband for our entire 10 marriage has been an over the road truck driver, well until the last 2 months. For the first six weeks I made the food everynight that he likes to eat thinking that he wouldn't eat anything I was eating because he really is a very picky eater. In the the last 2 weeks I decided that he would just have to get over it. once he realized that how serious I was about getting my pre-baby body back he has been really supportive!:smile:
    Last night my step son came home and asked me if I could make this better than sex cake that he had at my girlfriends house. I told him no I wouldn't make it. That is wasn't fair to me that I would have make a cake that I then couldn't eat. He said well you could make it in cupcakes like Cori did and he would just eat it outside. I will be darned before I could even say another world my hubby jumped in and said not unless you want to die!!! You have no idea how proud of my husband I was! For the first time since I started trying to lose weight I feel like I have an actual ally!
    So I have to wonder, with my husband being so great about this if I haven't been just sabotaging myself all this time? At least I know that he will back me up and be there for me when I am having a weak moment. I feel really good about this!

    No, apparently you're not the only one..

    This comes across as pretty selfish of you. Just because you are on a "diet" doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

    You couldn't make your stepson a cake and simply not have any or make room if your day for a piece? I went to school for baking & pastry and I bake things all the time for others because I enjoy it and because I like doing nice things for other people. I either don't have any or I fit it into my calories for the day.

    Edit: Since this is MFP I feel the need to add a disclaimer. This is merely my thoughts on the subject in hopes to give you a little perspective and shouldn't be misconstrued as being mean, rude, or a bully. Have a great day! :flowerforyou:

    ^^^ THIS!
  • SarahRose35
    SarahRose35 Posts: 127 Member

    This comes across as pretty selfish of you. Just because you are on a "diet" doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

    Your right just because she is on a diet doesn't mean everyone else has to be. They can make their own food. Just because she is mom doesn't mean she has to be short order cook.

    My thoughts exactly. I disagree with those saying she should have made the cake. It is UNFAIR that she should have to spend her time making something she is trying to stay away from. If he wanted that cake so bad, he could have made it himself (;
  • PepperWorm
    PepperWorm Posts: 1,206
    This is not sabotage.

    If you can't budget for scale now and then, how do you expect to get through this lifestyle change?

    And if your son asked for some cake...good lord, don't deny it to him just because YOU don't want any.
  • MzPix
    MzPix Posts: 177 Member
    Your right just because she is on a diet doesn't mean everyone else has to be. They can make their own food. Just because she is mom doesn't mean she has to be short order cook.

    Absolutely.
    I’m really surprised by the number of people who feel that this woman has some sort of duty to make a cake for this kid and by not doing so she is being selfish. Really? Is this 1950 suburbia?

    If my son came over to my house and asked me to bake him a cake, I would reply “Your oven broken?”
    I’ve got better things to do with my time than take cake requests from family members, and just perhaps the OP might have a life that goes beyond that as well.

    She isn’t being selfish, and she isn’t denying anyone anything they rightfully earned, and she isn’t making decisions for others, and she isn’t pushing her diet on anyone else. She is assertively turning down a request that she is under no obligation to fulfill in the first place.
  • Morninglory81
    Morninglory81 Posts: 1,190 Member
    This is not sabotage.

    If you can't budget for scale now and then, how do you expect to get through this lifestyle change?

    And if your son asked for some cake...good lord, don't deny it to him just because YOU don't want any.
    My son asks for cookies and candy almost daily should I indulge him just because he voiced the request?
  • Morninglory81
    Morninglory81 Posts: 1,190 Member

    This comes across as pretty selfish of you. Just because you are on a "diet" doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

    Your right just because she is on a diet doesn't mean everyone else has to be. They can make their own food. Just because she is mom doesn't mean she has to be short order cook.

    Does it say how old her step son is? What if he is too young to cook?
    Than he is to young to make decisions about what is eaten. It's just that simple.
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member

    This comes across as pretty selfish of you. Just because you are on a "diet" doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

    Your right just because she is on a diet doesn't mean everyone else has to be. They can make their own food. Just because she is mom doesn't mean she has to be short order cook.

    Does it say how old her step son is? What if he is too young to cook?
    Than he is to young to make decisions about what is eaten. It's just that simple.

    Yes, let's tell the child that he can only have cake "if he wants to die."
  • kellyhdent
    kellyhdent Posts: 46
    my husband is an otr truck driver as well, and usually doesn't eat the same things that I do... he enjoys fried foods, lots of carbs, etc... but NEVER GAINS ANY WEIGHT {frustrating beyond measure!}. when he is home, and he wants those foods, I cook them for him because I know he wants them and enjoys them... which I don't mind. just because I make him maple bacon cupcakes doesn't mean I have to eat 6 of them, I usually pass on them {self control} and don't worry about it. no sabotage going on, that's his decision, not mine!
  • HeidiCooksSupper
    HeidiCooksSupper Posts: 3,836 Member
    Selfish? No, no, no! If he's old enough to have a girlfriend and have even a vague idea of what is meant by "better than sex" then he is old enough to make his own darn cake. He is also old enough to have learned about empathy and wouldn't ask his stepmother to do this for him if he knew she was struggling to control her eating.

    He's not asking her to help him with an illness. He's asking her for a damned cake and those of you who suggest she is being selfish are seeming to suggest that she should be a doormat and bend her wishes to his selfishness.

    Sounds like Papa needs to teach the boy about the feelings of others.
  • SarahRose35
    SarahRose35 Posts: 127 Member
    If he has a girlfriend, I'm pretty sure he's old enough to cook.

    The 'better than sex cake' is like a chocolate cake with caramel in it & whip cream on top. Or at least that's what my mom makes....
  • Morninglory81
    Morninglory81 Posts: 1,190 Member

    This comes across as pretty selfish of you. Just because you are on a "diet" doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

    Your right just because she is on a diet doesn't mean everyone else has to be. They can make their own food. Just because she is mom doesn't mean she has to be short order cook.

    Does it say how old her step son is? What if he is too young to cook?
    Than he is to young to make decisions about what is eaten. It's just that simple.

    Yes, let's tell the child that he can only have cake "if he wants to die."
    WOW that escalated! Being a bit silly now aren't we?
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member
    Selfish? No, no, no! If he's old enough to have a girlfriend and have even a vague idea of what is meant by "better than sex" then he is old enough to make his own darn cake. He is also old enough to have learned about empathy and wouldn't ask his stepmother to do this for him if he knew she was struggling to control her eating.

    He's not asking her to help him with an illness. He's asking her for a damned cake and those of you who suggest she is being selfish are seeming to suggest that she should be a doormat and bend her wishes to his selfishness.

    Sounds like Papa needs to teach the boy about the feelings of others.

    It said her girlfriend's house. And a huge WTF to the dad needing to teach the boy a lesson. He just asked for cake. She didn't make it because of her choices which the house now has to follow. She didn't say she didn't want to make it because she was tired. She said she wouldn't make it because she couldn't have any.
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member

    This comes across as pretty selfish of you. Just because you are on a "diet" doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

    Your right just because she is on a diet doesn't mean everyone else has to be. They can make their own food. Just because she is mom doesn't mean she has to be short order cook.

    Does it say how old her step son is? What if he is too young to cook?
    Than he is to young to make decisions about what is eaten. It's just that simple.

    Yes, let's tell the child that he can only have cake "if he wants to die."
    WOW that escalated! Being a bit silly now aren't we?

    Those were her words not mine - actually her husband's words.
  • MzPix
    MzPix Posts: 177 Member
    Also,
    why can't dad make the cake?
  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
    if the step son understands phrases like "CAKE" let alone ... "Better Than Sex" Cake, something tells me he's probably old enough to read to understand things so he could probably ask for the recipe and make the cake himself.

    Or Dad could make it ...


    Problem solved. :)
  • Morninglory81
    Morninglory81 Posts: 1,190 Member

    This comes across as pretty selfish of you. Just because you are on a "diet" doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

    Your right just because she is on a diet doesn't mean everyone else has to be. They can make their own food. Just because she is mom doesn't mean she has to be short order cook.

    Does it say how old her step son is? What if he is too young to cook?
    Than he is to young to make decisions about what is eaten. It's just that simple.

    Yes, let's tell the child that he can only have cake "if he wants to die."
    WOW that escalated! Being a bit silly now aren't we?

    Those were her words not mine - actually her husband's words.
    Only after the boy refused to hear no to his request and tried to press for it further. That threat is more likely a response to the boys unwillingness to hear the word no than anything else.

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