Hating on Fat People Just Makes Them Fatter
Replies
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I think it is only true for some people--and I would say roughly half (no formal or informal study, just strictly my opinion).
How many people are on MFP because they put their foot down and got serious about losing weight because their kid/wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/etc bluntly pointed out that they were fat?
I think being called 'fat' outright galvanizes some people into action just as it causes some people to be paralyzed with fear of making a change and eventually ending up fulfilling someone else's hurtful words.
Honestly, I don't think it is much different than people who grow up in broken homes: either when they grow up and get married, they are also going to get divorced like their parents did or they are going to be extra-determined not to marry until they have found someone with whom they will seriously commit to staying married.
Same goes for children of alcoholics or addicts as well. They are going to continue down the same path or they are going to be galvanized into taking control of their lives.0 -
I accept exactly zero responsibility for other people's obesity or lack thereof and all the responsibility for my own.
My mouth. My body. My choices.
/thread0 -
Hi guys, don't mind me. I'm just here with some logic.
Correlation does not equal causation.
And I am all about logic: thank you!0 -
How is not being able to ride a roller coaster or sit comfortably on a plane discrimination? I am not allowed to enjoy the bouncy castle at our local street fair, because I am an adult. Am I being discriminated against? (Seriously, am I? Because if I have a case I am going to make those ****ers let me bounce!)
I'm with Mr. Roger's Puppet cat!!! :laugh:0 -
So, does calling someone skinny, in turn, make them skinnier? Or calling someone smart, make them smarter? Or calling someone rich, make them richer? Or calling someone athletic make them more athletic?
So, basically, I'm not responsible for my own actions, but I am responsible for the words that people say to me. I have no control over my weight, my financial status, my level of knowledge...I'm just at the mercy of the general public and family members, and I just HOPE that they bless me with good words and not bad ones.
Or am I missing the point of the article?
Yes! Now you finally understand how the world works!!
(just kidding, obviously!)
*looks down*
you are bigger, better and have more stamina than anyone else
you are bigger, better and have more stamina than anyone else
you are bigger, better and have more stamina than anyone else
you are bigger, better and have more stamina than anyone else0 -
:huh: People eating too many calories just makes them fatter. Sorry, but as long as people continue to remove personal responsibility and put it on everything else, nothing will get any better. I was a tiny bit chubby as a kid and was teased relentlessly. Then I thinned out b/c I was super active. Then I got fat b/c I was less active and eating too much. My weight was a pretty regular topic of conversation with a couple people and it made me feel bad but it didn't make me any fatter. What made me fatter and kept me fat was the bad attitude that I saw reflected in another response here. I thought that I couldn't lose weight and that no matter how much I lost, I'd always be fat. So I just kept overeating and sitting on my a.ss. When you're content having really low expectations for yourself, there's no motivation to do better.0
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Never experienced people hating on me because of weight, even when I was heavier. However I can relate to the previous poster about the dark comments. When I was growing up my grandmother and mother use to say "come inside and stay out of the sun because you are dark enough". honestly, their issue with my darkness has no effect on me, I think I have tough skin and besides my dad taught me that my skin complexion is beautiful--my mom is the one that had issues with it not me. At age 37, I have never had to wear an ounce of makeup and I thank my dark skin color for that. I'm not sure why certain issues affect some more than others but I truly believe the immediate environment has a lot to do with it, if I listened to my mom, I would a nut case by now. My dad is from egypt(nubian)and mom black American so I'm not sure if was culture thing relating to the skin color.
sorry for getting off topic I guess in short what I'm trying to say is too many people let others determine their happiness0 -
So, does calling someone skinny, in turn, make them skinnier? Or calling someone smart, make them smarter? Or calling someone rich, make them richer? Or calling someone athletic make them more athletic?
So, basically, I'm not responsible for my own actions, but I am responsible for the words that people say to me. I have no control over my weight, my financial status, my level of knowledge...I'm just at the mercy of the general public and family members, and I just HOPE that they bless me with good words and not bad ones.
Or am I missing the point of the article?
Please tell me I am rich and beautiful. And clever.
You are rich, beautiful, and clever.0 -
There was a study done where teachers were told that the class was tested and a group of "bloomers" identified, and that the bloomer kids would have a spurt of intellectual growth that year. And at the end of the year, the kids were evaluated, and it was found that the bloomers had in fact outperformed their classmates. The twist is, there was no 'bloomer' test, the kids were just randomly selected -- what was being tested was how the expectations of the teachers would affect the kids learning. So yes, giving people positive reinforcement can have positive outcomes. And giving people negative reinforcement can have negative outcomes.
You are rich, beautiful, and clever.
Please tell me I am rich and beautiful. And clever.So, does calling someone skinny, in turn, make them skinnier? Or calling someone smart, make them smarter? Or calling someone rich, make them richer? Or calling someone athletic make them more athletic?
So, basically, I'm not responsible for my own actions, but I am responsible for the words that people say to me. I have no control over my weight, my financial status, my level of knowledge...I'm just at the mercy of the general public and family members, and I just HOPE that they bless me with good words and not bad ones.
Or am I missing the point of the article?0 -
I am going to try to post here without getting too crazy... or nasty.
At the end of the day, motivation is different for everyone but this is my backstory:
I have always been fat (I was 10lbs11oz when I was born!). I am built enormous, I will never be a "petite" (and before you're like "big bones are a lie" - I am 6ft tall, have a size 12 ladies feet, 7 3/4 hat size and hands as big as my 6'3" boyfriends'... I am just a big lady before you even add the weight). Not only have I always BEEN fat, but I have always KNOWN I was fat. I have been told, on various occasions, that I am fat - an elderly man once walked up to me as I was rifling through a sales rack and said "oh honey, you KNOW none of those are going to fit you so why bother even looking?". My grandfather bullied me mercilessly about my weight to the point where I decided if I ever had children, they would never meet him. I can honestly say that nobody telling me I was fat ever made me want to lose weight, even those things.
When people correlate "fat" with "stupid", it makes me want to be SMARTER, not thinner. When people correlate "fat" with "lazy", it just makes me want to be more efficient, not thinner. When people correlate "fat" with "ugly", it just makes me want to go out and buy a new dress - not get thinner.
The ONLY thing that made me "want" to be HEALTHIER is self worth and self love. Shame does not build that.. When I looked in the mirror and said "hey, you are a fundamentally good person - you are AT LEAST as good as all those thin, healthy people out there, you deserve as many good things as they do.", THAT was when, after a lifetime of yo yo dieting, I lost 72lbs and have maintained 60 of those for over three years.
I find there tends to be a large difference between men and women, especially when it comes to body shaming. Women often have a much more emotional attachment to their fat (once I was grown and making my own food choices, mine was protection after sexual abuse as a child - it was like that physical barrier of fat stopped me from allowing anyone close enough to hurt me again) and have spent years cultivating it, and so telling people how "disgusting" their coping mechanism is doesn't often make them want to change, but cling to it tighter because it is what they've always known. It seems that OFTEN (not ALWAYS, there are no hard fast rules in this conversation, IMHO), men gain weight because they've been drinking too much with their buddies or playing too many video games or whatever - they can recognize it and cut it out. For women, there is often a lot more to wade through than "eat less, move more".
Just my $0.02.
Are you being serious? I honestly can't tell0 -
Oh boy, another article for people who are too lazy and/or uncaring about their health to fall back on instead of eating less and moving more. Victim mentality FTMFL.
win!!!0 -
Yes & no. I understand what people are trying to say, that's your choice to stay fat, but also not every person has the same experiences.
I understand that yes, it can lead to one staying fat - I lived it. ALL MY CHILDHOOD and into adulthood. I was abused, bullied, physically attacked and more - because of my size.
And the more they did it, the heavier I got. Which lead it to getting worse - no one stepped in to help, no one cared and several times in my childhood I wanted to DIE rather than have them continue to hurt me.
It didn't EVER occur to me until I was older than I could do something about it.
The world NOW and THEN are too different places.
So yes, I do understand both sides of this issue - even now, painful memories are still there, but now I can deal w/ it.0 -
let's all just tell them they look great until they get diabetes0
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The line that stood out to me was "For those that had thought they experienced discrimination based on weight, 4 years later they were twice as likely to be obese."
No1 rule of research... correlation does not equal causation.0 -
discriminating against people in some way due to weight, like not being able to ride a roller coaster
This was the best bit. Fat people aren't allowed to ride roller coasters because people are MEAN! And here I thought it was a safety thing. Silly me.
:laugh:0 -
Oh boy, another article for people who are too lazy and/or uncaring about their health to fall back on instead of eating less and moving more. Victim mentality FTMFL.
win!!!
Ok, but what people who have an underline medical condition. I have a friend who suffers from pcos and she really is struggling to lose weight and there are plenty of women just like her. She does eat less, no processed foods and workout but because of her condition weight loss is not as easy. I'm not saying people should not take ownership of their health or anything like that, I'm just saying some might have an underline medical condition which causes obesity/overweight.0 -
For me it wasn't a choice between "fat" or "thin" until I had the strength to do something about it. Now that I have that strength it is finally a choice - and I've chosen health. It took a long time though and I understand very well those who still struggle to reach that state of mind. Add me as friend if you would like respectful honesty and empathetic support, there is this type of presence to be found here, too.0
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This article is about as nonsensical as those who make "the media" responsible for eating disorders. :noway:0
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idk, when my Bro said that I was looking more out of shape than he could ever remember, and ask me when I was due, That's the day I went and took a good look in the mirror and realized he was 100% right.
It isn't de-motivating to everyone. It is all in how you choose to perceive/accept it .....if it's fact, it's a fact. And in my case it sure was a simple fact. And it motivated me to revert back to a healthier lifestyle.
I think this is the key right here...it's how it's perceived. Women, many of whom already feel badly about being overweight/obese, will perceive it as a negative, no matter how politically correct...or not...the comment is worded. Self esteem plays a big part in perception.
When I was younger, my mother or father telling me I was getting fat made me eat more. No doubt. Because I already felt bad about myself, and I am/always will be a stress eater, the negativity made me stress...and I ate more.
My boyfriend calls me a 'big girl'. I am. But I'm not fat. I'm having a hard time being ok with that 'big girl' thing. But I shouldn't. He actually means it as a compliment. I'm TALL, and I'm not a stick figure...I'm at a healthy BMI. Yep. Certainly not a SMALL girl.
We all have to make our own decisions about our health...it can't be thrust upon us. Love yourself enough to take care of yourself. That's the key.0 -
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No matter how much a loose I will always be fat.
With that attitude, you're right.
The victim mentality that I see a lot on this site drives me up the flippin wall. Quit letting other people have power over you and take control of your own life!!! We're adults and we have responsibility for our own actions. Quit blaming everyone else and looking for a convenient excuse! If someone makes you feel bad, it's probably because they were speaking the truth. No one gets their feelings hurt over something that doesn't apply to them.
This^^ The victim mentality drives me crazy too!0 -
Oh boy, another article for people who are too lazy and/or uncaring about their health to fall back on instead of eating less and moving more. Victim mentality FTMFL.
win!!!
Ok, but what people who have an underline medical condition. I have a friend who suffers from pcos and she really is struggling to lose weight and there are plenty of women just like her. She does eat less, no processed foods and workout but because of her condition weight loss is not as easy. I'm not saying people should not take ownership of their health or anything like that, I'm just saying some might have an underline medical condition which causes obesity/overweight.
But that would have nothing to do with the topic. It wasn't rude people that made your friend fatter, it was her medical condition. No one is implying those people are at fault or not taking responsibility. It's the people with nothing wrong with them except a cronic case of 'excess food into mouth' that are the topic. I'm not saying it's ok to be rude to people, it's definitely not, but (medical cases withstanding) only the person putting food in their mouths can claim responsibility for their weight.0 -
Why do you feel personally invested in it? Why not take a neutral approach and instead see if there is something you can do to help a person, who is struggling?No matter how much a loose I will always be fat.
With that attitude, you're right.
The victim mentality that I see a lot on this site drives me up the flippin wall. Quit letting other people have power over you and take control of your own life!!! We're adults and we have responsibility for our own actions. Quit blaming everyone else and looking for a convenient excuse! If someone makes you feel bad, it's probably because they were speaking the truth. No one gets their feelings hurt over something that doesn't apply to them.
This^^ The victim mentality drives me crazy too!0 -
I'm probably going to get trolled a ton for this, but here we go... As a person who used to be morbidly obese, I don't think some of you realize what it is like to be fat-shamed or intimidated by others. Is it an excuse? No. But is it a very real obstacle for some people? Yes.
I've lost 120 lbs overall, 80ish since I started using MFP... I had the privilege of using an office gym for the better part of a year before having to use a regular one, so luckily for me my initial experience with the gym was a positive one (workin' out with the guys was the highlight of my day after awhile.) Fast forward to when I use a regular gym: I have been mooed at, laughed at, pointed at and laughed at, made fun of by two guys on each side of me on the treadmill, made fun of by a group of guys, actually had "Man the harpoons!" yelled at me, etc.
It's not an excuse. I certainly haven't let it stop me. But, I know I have 120 lbs of weight loss behind me, I know that I can do it, but I imagine it might be harder to 'get back in the saddle' to someone who's already overwhelmed.0 -
This was a thoughtful, honest post and so true! I know there are many people out there who can identify with this point of view.
"The ONLY thing that made me "want" to be HEALTHIER is self worth and self love. Shame does not build that.. " - I was looking for a way to say this but you did it so well.
Thank you for adding your $0.02.I am going to try to post here without getting too crazy... or nasty.
At the end of the day, motivation is different for everyone but this is my backstory:
I have always been fat (I was 10lbs11oz when I was born!). I am built enormous, I will never be a "petite" (and before you're like "big bones are a lie" - I am 6ft tall, have a size 12 ladies feet, 7 3/4 hat size and hands as big as my 6'3" boyfriends'... I am just a big lady before you even add the weight). Not only have I always BEEN fat, but I have always KNOWN I was fat. I have been told, on various occasions, that I am fat - an elderly man once walked up to me as I was rifling through a sales rack and said "oh honey, you KNOW none of those are going to fit you so why bother even looking?". My grandfather bullied me mercilessly about my weight to the point where I decided if I ever had children, they would never meet him. I can honestly say that nobody telling me I was fat ever made me want to lose weight, even those things.
When people correlate "fat" with "stupid", it makes me want to be SMARTER, not thinner. When people correlate "fat" with "lazy", it just makes me want to be more efficient, not thinner. When people correlate "fat" with "ugly", it just makes me want to go out and buy a new dress - not get thinner.
The ONLY thing that made me "want" to be HEALTHIER is self worth and self love. Shame does not build that.. When I looked in the mirror and said "hey, you are a fundamentally good person - you are AT LEAST as good as all those thin, healthy people out there, you deserve as many good things as they do.", THAT was when, after a lifetime of yo yo dieting, I lost 72lbs and have maintained 60 of those for over three years.
I find there tends to be a large difference between men and women, especially when it comes to body shaming. Women often have a much more emotional attachment to their fat (once I was grown and making my own food choices, mine was protection after sexual abuse as a child - it was like that physical barrier of fat stopped me from allowing anyone close enough to hurt me again) and have spent years cultivating it, and so telling people how "disgusting" their coping mechanism is doesn't often make them want to change, but cling to it tighter because it is what they've always known. It seems that OFTEN (not ALWAYS, there are no hard fast rules in this conversation, IMHO), men gain weight because they've been drinking too much with their buddies or playing too many video games or whatever - they can recognize it and cut it out. For women, there is often a lot more to wade through than "eat less, move more".
Just my $0.02.0 -
discriminating against people in some way due to weight, like not being able to ride a roller coaster
This was the best bit. Fat people aren't allowed to ride roller coasters because people are MEAN! And here I thought it was a safety thing. Silly me.
They should have limits on roller coasters, a bigger lady just fell out of the texas giant. Although I don't think an official reason has been released, this site has a video at the bottom about how a bigger person would not be as safe on this ride.
http://www.thecoastercritic.com/2013/07/woman-dies-new-texas-giant.html0 -
Oh boy, another article for people who are too lazy and/or uncaring about their health to fall back on instead of eating less and moving more. Victim mentality FTMFL.
win!!!
Ok, but what people who have an underline medical condition. I have a friend who suffers from pcos and she really is struggling to lose weight and there are plenty of women just like her. She does eat less, no processed foods and workout but because of her condition weight loss is not as easy. I'm not saying people should not take ownership of their health or anything like that, I'm just saying some might have an underline medical condition which causes obesity/overweight.
But that would have nothing to do with the topic. It wasn't rude people that made your friend fatter, it was her medical condition. No one is implying those people are at fault or not taking responsibility. It's the people with nothing wrong with them except a cronic case of 'excess food into mouth' that are the topic. I'm not saying it's ok to be rude to people, it's definitely not, but (medical cases withstanding) only the person putting food in their mouths can claim responsibility for their weight.
Okay, I finally --just, I'm sorry but I truly have to ask. Does anyone know the percentages of how many people are actually afflicted with PCOS? Just asking because my FL is nearly 500 strong and so far I know of only ONE who has that condition. If anyone is so inclined to answer my question please if you also know the actual incidence of "thyroid" problems and "broken metabolism" rates, I'd love to know those percentages ONCE AND FOR ALL.
Bonus points if they are all in a handy link to ONE webpage so I can quote it on my profile wall o' handy links for all posterity.0 -
If people laugh at someone overweight, they are pretty pathetic if you ask me. If they make fun of you when you are at the gym, they are low-lives. Kudos for what you have achieved.I'm probably going to get trolled a ton for this, but here we go... As a person who used to be morbidly obese, I don't think some of you realize what it is like to be fat-shamed or intimidated by others. Is it an excuse? No. But is it a very real obstacle for some people? Yes.
I've lost 120 lbs overall, 80ish since I started using MFP... I had the privilege of using an office gym for the better part of a year before having to use a regular one, so luckily for me my initial experience with the gym was a positive one (workin' out with the guys was the highlight of my day after awhile.) Fast forward to when I use a regular gym: I have been mooed at, laughed at, pointed at and laughed at, made fun of by two guys on each side of me on the treadmill, made fun of by a group of guys, actually had "Man the harpoons!" yelled at me, etc.
It's not an excuse. I certainly haven't let it stop me. But, I know I have 120 lbs of weight loss behind me, I know that I can do it, but I imagine it might be harder to 'get back in the saddle' to someone who's already overwhelmed.0 -
I am going to try to post here without getting too crazy... or nasty.
At the end of the day, motivation is different for everyone but this is my backstory:
I have always been fat (I was 10lbs11oz when I was born!). I am built enormous, I will never be a "petite" (and before you're like "big bones are a lie" - I am 6ft tall, have a size 12 ladies feet, 7 3/4 hat size and hands as big as my 6'3" boyfriends'... I am just a big lady before you even add the weight). Not only have I always BEEN fat, but I have always KNOWN I was fat. I have been told, on various occasions, that I am fat - an elderly man once walked up to me as I was rifling through a sales rack and said "oh honey, you KNOW none of those are going to fit you so why bother even looking?". My grandfather bullied me mercilessly about my weight to the point where I decided if I ever had children, they would never meet him. I can honestly say that nobody telling me I was fat ever made me want to lose weight, even those things.
When people correlate "fat" with "stupid", it makes me want to be SMARTER, not thinner. When people correlate "fat" with "lazy", it just makes me want to be more efficient, not thinner. When people correlate "fat" with "ugly", it just makes me want to go out and buy a new dress - not get thinner.
The ONLY thing that made me "want" to be HEALTHIER is self worth and self love. Shame does not build that.. When I looked in the mirror and said "hey, you are a fundamentally good person - you are AT LEAST as good as all those thin, healthy people out there, you deserve as many good things as they do.", THAT was when, after a lifetime of yo yo dieting, I lost 72lbs and have maintained 60 of those for over three years.
I find there tends to be a large difference between men and women, especially when it comes to body shaming. Women often have a much more emotional attachment to their fat (once I was grown and making my own food choices, mine was protection after sexual abuse as a child - it was like that physical barrier of fat stopped me from allowing anyone close enough to hurt me again) and have spent years cultivating it, and so telling people how "disgusting" their coping mechanism is doesn't often make them want to change, but cling to it tighter because it is what they've always known. It seems that OFTEN (not ALWAYS, there are no hard fast rules in this conversation, IMHO), men gain weight because they've been drinking too much with their buddies or playing too many video games or whatever - they can recognize it and cut it out. For women, there is often a lot more to wade through than "eat less, move more".
Just my $0.02.
Are you being serious? I honestly can't tell
I am being sincere and completely serious.0
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