Hating on Fat People Just Makes Them Fatter

IDK percentages, but it really doesn't matter. Those things are just another variable in the Calories in-calories out equation, specifically your calories out are lower, and you might need to make slightly different dietary choices. As a person with thyroid disease, I don't really accept that as an excuse, you just need to work harder and it might take longer than a person without those conditions.

Pretty much. I have PCOS and "supposedly" that makes it harder for me to lose weight. Before I came to MFP I thought it was SO hard for me to lose weight, and I definitely blamed my PCOS. But the facts are that a) I wasn't doing it right. b) I didn't want it enough. c) I had a bad attitude and didn't think I could do it.

Now I train, eat a deficit, try to hit my macros, and I'm losing weight. It's not super hard. It's not very complicated. It's harder and more complicated than anything I ever did before, but that's because before, I just wasn't trying hard enough. I really struggle with sweets - I'd like to eat ice cream at every meal - and I hear that PCOS causes me to crave sugar and carbs (I don't know or care if it's true. Doesn't really matter if it is, or if I just love sugar). But everything I put in my mouth is my choice and who's to say that it's harder for me to resist than it is for someone else?

I don't want to downplay the struggles of others with PCOS, or any other obstacle, but for me, I had to take 100% of the responsibility to finally be successful. It's still a struggle. Last week and the week before, I ate at or above maintenance. It was driving me crazy and I was trying to figure out if it was hormones or stress or what, and all the while, I kept overeating. Finally I realized that it didn't matter if it was hormones or stress. What mattered was my response and the choices that I made. Acknowledging that I was effing up and not looking to place blame is allowing me to get back on track. Maybe there's an underlying problem making me want to eat a pint of ice cream at midnight, but I don't have to figure out what that problem is or fix it in order to choose not to eat a pint of ice cream after I'm already at 1800 calories for the day. That's not to say that I shouldn't tackle that underlying issue separately, but I can't blame it for what I put in my mouth, and I can't use it as an excuse for not doing what I need to do.

Motivation ultimately does come within.

However, external motivation can play a role--pro athletes pair with certain coaches and trainers precisely for their ability to motivate and challenge. If someone is committed and strong, good luck demotivating them. Good coaches, however, can improve a so-so performer, or they can take existing motivation and light it on fire.

I remember one coach I had, soccer, a former Marine, yelling at me to run faster (I was a slow kid on the team): "You're no different than anybody else," he yelled. And in that fashion, I kept pace with everyone else. Curious how he knew how to motivate me.

Motivation ultimately does come from within, but it's also true, on a site like this, that people are seeking out others for motivation and inspiration. There's a fine line between criticism and insults, as well as a fine line between being "supportive" and enabling a dieter's lack of accountability.

I've been giving it some thought, the whole yelling thing. I don't think I'd be able to not run if a drop-dead gorgeous Marine would yell at me to run for dear life. If I don't see a point of some kind to the running for dear life or the person is doing nothing but piss me off, then so long motivation. I doubt I'd be ready for a yelling PT currently, but maybe once I've gained a bit more confidence in the capabilities of my body. The essence here is "gradual progress" and everyone is entitled to the time they need.

I think there comes a point when you decide I need to lose weight. For some people it can be a comment from another person or the fact that you could not ride the roller coaster with your child. For others it may take many of the situations before they decide to lose weight.
I have lost weight a couple of times and put it back on plus more.
I can guarantee my motivation does not come from rude comments. As a matter of fact, I will turn into Queen $itch and tell you to go take a long walk off a short pier. I would prefer you to keep your comments to yourself, just as I will keep mine about you to myself.
:glasses:

To each their own. I've given up trying to logic with HAES and Thin Privilege its no longer worth my time.

I never told anyone they were fat, nor did I have room to talk. But I didn't get told as much as people I hear about.

People take this **** way to seriously, need to live a little. As a former fat guy in training to become fit we all need to take a moment a laugh otherwise you'll die too early in life.

Dr. Cox (John C. McGinley) I Hate My Body
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nwh8ygvNdgo

As far as walking a mile in someone else's shoes, are you really proposing that "i think most people who say blah blah blah people are man blah blah blah im going to use this as an excuse have never had that kind of pressure put on them"?

Really?

So, and I'm just throwing this out there, all the people here that are fit and saying "stop making excuses" were always fit? Or that they have never had depression or self esteem issues? You think that, just maybe, some of the people that are saying "stop making excuses" are speaking from experience?

I'm not trying to create a great debate here, but the stop making excuses thing has been successful for a good number of people and not just in weight loss.

i meant, you can say you had pressure but you have no idea how it effects that person. 4 people could be called fatty and 4 people could have completely different reactions to it.

there have been many people who have overcome it and gone on to be physically healthy. just as there are people who have eaten 1200 calories have gotten fitter, as there are people who have eaten 3000 calories.

the point is there isnt any one single path that you can say everyone can follow and get the same results. the human race is very diverse. so is our way of thinking

It makes me sad how many people missed the point.

I do want to clarify I did NOT write this, I posted it from Yahoo. I am not 'deciding' to stay fat (see the ticker) and neither is the author. This article isn't about the fat people, it's about YOU deluding yourself into thinking you are helping said fat person by trying to tell them they are disgusting, rolling your eyes when they struggle at the gym, making fun of people who are not what you think they should be.

It's not an excuse to be fat. No question that fat comes from too many calories. I didn't lose weight by accident after all; I get how this works.

Trust me, every fat person KNOWS they are fat. Someone on the outside being a prick about it, doesn't change that. But it can lead someone who is already struggling with self esteem issues (and fat is often a symptom of that) right to the fridge. Yes, they are ultimately responsible for their actions and blaming other people for that is totally ineffective but that doesn't change the fact that being a bully isn't helping.

The examples in the article ARE less than stellar. Not fitting on a roller coaster isn't bullying....but having a line of people behind you making whale jokes or whatever would be. I've never been big enough to really experience some of this, but I have seen it and until you've seen someone just crumple when they hear some of these hateful things? When you see someone struggling to get healthy and they are treated as less than human? I can't even believe how horrible some people are -- and in a place like MFP, I often see it dressed up as helping...and by god, its the exact opposite.

The point is, don't kid yourself that you are "helping" by trying to bully someone into being thinner. If you do that, you are just being a jerk.

And in the end, that other person's body doesn't belong to you. None of your business what it looks like. Worry about your own self.

I knew I was fat, people told me I was fat (harshly), so I did something about it. I may never had done anything about it unless they did.

It makes me sad how many people missed the point.

I do want to clarify I did NOT write this, I posted it from Yahoo. I am not 'deciding' to stay fat (see the ticker) and neither is the author. This article isn't about the fat people, it's about YOU deluding yourself into thinking you are helping said fat person by trying to tell them they are disgusting, rolling your eyes when they struggle at the gym, making fun of people who are not what you think they should be.

It's not an excuse to be fat. No question that fat comes from too many calories. I didn't lose weight by accident after all; I get how this works.

Trust me, every fat person KNOWS they are fat. Someone on the outside being a prick about it, doesn't change that. But it can lead someone who is already struggling with self esteem issues (and fat is often a symptom of that) right to the fridge. Yes, they are ultimately responsible for their actions and blaming other people for that is totally ineffective but that doesn't change the fact that being a bully isn't helping.

The examples in the article ARE less than stellar. Not fitting on a roller coaster isn't bullying....but having a line of people behind you making whale jokes or whatever would be. I've never been big enough to really experience some of this, but I have seen it and until you've seen someone just crumple when they hear some of these hateful things? When you see someone struggling to get healthy and they are treated as less than human? I can't even believe how horrible some people are -- and in a place like MFP, I often see it dressed up as helping...and by god, its the exact opposite.

The point is, don't kid yourself that you are "helping" by trying to bully someone into being thinner. If you do that, you are just being a jerk.

And in the end, that other person's body doesn't belong to you. None of your business what it looks like. Worry about your own self.

I think many of us got your point and it is definitely understood. And personally, I've liked many of your posts. I think the MFP audience though makes this article a bit like preaching to the choir. Most of the tough love comments here are genuine, and spoken by plenty of people who were definitely overweight at some time. This isn't the group of jerks standing in line at Six Flags or Disney making whale jokes. It's the group of fit people who were once fat and are yelling "eat less and move more" and "you can do it," and it's done out of genuine concern. And for the record, the one person who called me "fat" that made all the difference in the world to me, was my wife. She was right. I was. And her comment got my lazy *kitten* moving again. I love her all the more for that.

Different people react to different kinds of motivation. For me, criticism is fuel. But I would understand if others need more encouragement.

There's no one right way to motivate every kind of individual.

QFT. I would never personally fat-shame anyone, and I don't think it's okay to be a bully for any reason, fat included. However I will throw out there that being fat-shamed has been a huge motivator for me.

I was at a club when I was around my heaviest, closing in on 300 pounds. My friend was talking with this guy, and when I came over to his group his friend looked at me and said "I know all chicks have a fat friend, but -damn-". They all laughed. It sucked, and it hurt a lot, and was really embarrassing...but it was definitely the kick in the *kitten* I needed to get my perspective straight. I always knew I was fat, but I didn't realize it had gotten so out of control until that moment, and I promised myself then that I wasn't always going to be the fat friend.

Sometimes I still think about that when I'm feeling particularly unmotivated, and remembering how badly that moment sucked for me is the push I need to get moving, because I never want to feel that way again. People shouldn't be jerks, but it's wrong to say that fat-shaming makes people fatter. For me, and I'm sure for others, it did the exact opposite. We may not be special snowflakes, but we're all still different.

/storytime

Bump for reading later :-)

I was incredibly annoyed at the number of responses that were of the nature of, "Aw, hurt feelings? Grow up," or "This has nothing to do with people who are fat." Incidentally, mostly from people who were quite skinny and seemed never to be all that overweight.

About hurt feelings, seriously? Unless someone's done something bad to you, personally, is there ever a good reason to be mean to someone? Whether you think it helps or not to point out the problem (as if the person weren't already fully aware of their size) does it help anyone to be mean to them? I really don't think it does. So why do it? The people who are overweight are not in the wrong, here. They mind their own business, and because of how they look, they get people saying rude comments to them. Take weight out of the equation. You're just sitting down somewhere, reading a book, minding your own business, and people on the street whisper to each other (in a not so hushed way) about how ugly you are. Is that justified? Is that really called for? No. It's rude and mean and people shouldn't say things like that around you.

Second, emotional issues are a reason that many people are obese in the first place. Not across the board, not in every situation, but in many cases. By being mean to them about a problem which is already very obvious to them which may also be sensitive to them, you're provoking more emotional problems. It's demotivational for a lot of people. Having the will to lose a lot of weight means being in a good place, emotionally, with how you feel about your weight. Again, not always, but for many of us. I determined to lose weight in January 2012. I didn't start until August. I think that shows how emotions can play a huge part in weight and weight gain or loss. Do you think that calling disgusting is going to make them feel good, and then they're gonna go hop on a treadmill? No. They're gonna feel bad about it and most people will be mopey and not in a mood to do anything. Again, take weight out of the equation. If someone says to you something about how you're an a-hole, or you're a worthless human being or something like that, does that make you feel good? Does that make you feel like working out? Maybe some people who blow off steam by working out might feel that way. However, if working out is more of a task or chore to you, you -aren't- going to feel like doing it. Just like if you've had a bad day and then you don't feel like doing the dishes, if you're criticized about your weight all day, you're not gonna feel like exercising. Emotional eating also plays into this, so on top of not exercising, many people will turn to food to make themselves feel better.

Third, how is it any of anyone else's business? More than that, you don't even know the person. You don't know their situation. If someone's 500lbs and loses 200, they're still 300lbs. Never mind the fact that they've worked hard for a year or more, exercising 5 times a week and keeping on a strict diet. Never mind the fact that they've already lost an incredible amount of weight. Never mind the fact that they're turning their life in the right direction. Nope. They're 300 pounds. They're fat. Lay off the burgers, Fatty McFatass. You should really stop hating yourself and try to lose some weight. Doesn't that seem a little excessive? They've lost a ton of weight and their plan is to continue to do so. Is it really right to criticize their weight at that point? It's not as if they can drop that extra 100-150 pounds over night. But, ah, you don't -know- that they've made that effort for themselves. You don't know based on seeing them one time ever and never talking to them. All you see is a 300lb person. That's exactly my point. You don't know someone's situation. People have hormonal disorders. People have weight left over from pregnancy. People lead too busy of lives to exercise or eat properly. People are not in a position to diet based on their living situations. You don't know. You have no right to judge.

My point is, there's no good reason to call someone names. It's none of your business anyway. And you don't know that person on a personal level, so you're in absolutely no position to judge them based on having seen them for 30 seconds. So why say anything? What, exactly, does this aim to accomplish other than making that person feel like crap about themselves? If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.