Not Hating, Why Do Women Struggle With The Gym?
Replies
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I didn't have people just looking. I had people coming up as I was working out and asking for my number or trying to have a conversation with me. Really not the time I want to have those kind of conversations!0
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It actually depends what time of day I go, mid afternoon or late evening, LOVE the gym. I've recently started doing weight training and although it's mostly guys there, these ones are helpful and super supportive. Even though I'm at a very low starting point, they respect me just for trying. Evenings from 5-9ish suck, the gym gets full, and seems like for the most part the weight area is full of guys who are full of themeselves, they either look at my *kitten* the entire time I squat. Or smirk at me while I struggle with bench presses. Usually I walk out of the gym feeling defeated on those kinds of nights. It's completly uncomfortable.
Aside from that, I think gyms should have weekly intro nights, where they show people how to use the machines properly, or what they are even for, it's fairly intimidating to walk into.0 -
I'm not sure I completely understand what you're asking. If you mean why are a lot of women reluctant to go to the gym and lift heavy weights, I think that is a dead horse at this point. It's usually one of two reasons:
1. They think lifting will make them look like 'roided out superfreaks.
2. They don't want to lift in front of other people, either because they don't know what they're doing at all and have no idea where to start or because they are worried about being scrutinized by stronger, more experienced lifters.
Since I train at home, I only have to do the gym thing when I'm traveling for work, and that can be even more awkward because most hotel gyms don't have power racks, so you're left with machines and dumbbells. And it never fails that when I'm doing hip thrusts with a huge dumbbell or doing Turkish get-ups, some bro is going to come over and ask why I'm doing what I'm doing. And when my answer doesn't satisfy him, he will proceed to to tell me what I should be doing instead. It's just a pain in the *kitten*.0 -
I didn't have people just looking. I had people coming up as I was working out and asking for my number or trying to have a conversation with me. Really not the time I want to have those kind of conversations!
two solutions- wear headphones (regardless of if you are using them or not)- and ignore people
Second
"I don't date people from my gym"
period. that's a good rule of thumb- gym romances when they dissolve are messy and complicated. Just be honest about it and say this is my time for me and I don't want awkward situations.... trust me- I've had to dodge/dance/duck/dive around that more than once.
it sucks- and it sucks when people don't take a hint- but being a bit brisk is helpful- I nod and smile to everyone and just go about my business.And when my answer doesn't satisfy him, he will proceed to to tell me what I should be doing instead. It's just a pain in the *kitten*.
that's annoying- I like to ask them if they like how I look? really? you don't think I look fat?
oh- no? I don't
then clearly what I'm doing is working- and I don't need your help. But thanks anyway.0 -
2. They don't want to lift in front of other people, either because they don't know what they're doing at all and have no idea where to start or because they are worried about being scrutinized by stronger, more experienced lifters.
This.0 -
Sometimes I like to look at stupid women's magazine articles to laugh at how stupid they are. One time I picked one up and started skimming through something about "What your man loves best about you...." Some schieβe like that...
Anyway, number 1 said something along the lines of, "That extra fat around your middle that you hate so much actually turns him on. It makes you soft and cushioned."
It was revolting, but a lot of women and especially teenage girls believe bull**** just because it is printed in a magazine with an airbrushed woman on the cover.
lol, was it SHAPE magazine? That one makes me lol all the time.0 -
I think working out at home vs. The gym is more about convenience/economics for more women that it is anything else.
and as far as women being strong-you don't have to lift heavy weights to be strong. It's about what kind of body type each of us is looking for.0 -
I quit the gym because I hated wasting time driving to and from the gym. If it took about a half hour to get there and get back, plus an hour exercise, there was two hours gone out of my day.
Now I do all my running outdoors, and bought my own bench and barbell set to lift weights at home.0 -
I struggle with the gym for a lot of the reasons listed here, but mostly unfamiliarity and feelings of discomfort associated with unfamiliarity and intimidation of others.
The last time I was shown how to use the weight machines I was in high school, so anytime I've gone to the gym I longingly look over at the weights but am too nervous to approach them for fear of hurting myself from improper use, or just looking like a complete fool. The only gym I've attempted going to is at my university, and it's filled mostly with bros or male/female athletes trying to stay in shape in the off season, and I find that very intimidating as a person just trying to get into shape.
Gyms are also pretty expensive, at least when you're a student or work part-time for minimum wage. If it wasn't included in my tuition, I probably would have never even gone to a gym.
Edit: I also prefer being outside to get my activity than in a gym. It smells better.
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What are your generalizations based off of???? When I go to the gym I see MORE women than men working out and working out HARD. No self image issues etc. I believe you are NOT HATING but you are entirely oblivious to reality when it comes to women and the gym. Could be because you are a man and you are too concerned with your own self image and only paying attention to the other men that are in the gym to compare yourself to.
Could also be the time you go to the gym is when ALL of the hard working women are home raising their families/kids etc.
Might I suggest you study your generalization further by going to the gym at various times throughout the day and actually pay attention to how many women are in there busting *kitten*.
I know many men who have way more "issues" about going to the gym than I do women!0 -
Some of it is kid related too. I don't know about anyone else, but it's difficult to get a sitter regularly enough to get to the gym. I have to rely on working out at home when naps/bedtime allows it.0
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I get discouraged. I don't know much about working out. I have tried to do my research but when I'm in there with machines and free weights and people floating around doing intense workouts, I get overwhelmed. I don't understand lifting much and cardio gets boring for me. I just get stressed in there and feel hopeless. I did much better when I had a friend to go with0
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I am NOT hating. Just asking because this really interests me. IMO it's because they think it's all about running and loosing weight, and it's tied even deeper to their self-image than with men. Not to mention that women are not encouraged to be physically strong/able like men are.
I know many, many women like the gym, but I'm making a general statement here.
Discuss.
I don't hate the gym, I just prefer running, so I do that. I go to the gym just once per week because I get in free as a guest on my hubby's membership.0 -
Surprisingly, there are actually a lot of high school girls who work out just as much as the football guys. In my town, there's a place owned by a local trainer and they do specific training workout sessions for athletes and summer memberships specifically for athletes as well as team work outs. I know many women and men that go there, both young and old. Sometimes it's the football team that works out with the volleyball team, they're all doing the same training and it's really good.0
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Because creepers gonna creep
It's funny how many woman complain about the men staring at them. I am happily married and am not looking to hook up with anyone. But I find myself staring at everyone especially the buff guys.
lol, me too. im not interested in flirting at all, but im a people watcher... I just like to look around, know my surroundings, and see everything / everyone...0 -
this makes me sad- all these posts... I want to come work out with ALL of you ladies feeling like you are floating around hopelessly at the gym.I get discouraged. I don't know much about working out. I have tried to do my research but when I'm in there with machines and free weights and people floating around doing intense workouts, I get overwhelmed. I don't understand lifting much and cardio gets boring for me. I just get stressed in there and feel hopeless. I did much better when I had a friend to go with
sigh. I want super hero costume to come help women train with weights. seriously that's what i want to make my life's mission! It's SO satisfying... seriously. come to NJ- I shall help you all!!!0 -
There aren't very many situations in life where I get skantily clad and go hang out in the same place as a bunch of strangers and demonstrate how strong, fast, and knowledgable about my body I am. Add in the extra pressure of being a woman and having no idea what you're doing and it's a pressure cooker!
My little brother is in great shape and totally confident at the gym. He's never been overweight, but he's been lifing weights since he was 13. Why? Because the other boys were doing it, he played sports, AND there's that pressure to be muscular. I was not lifting at 13. I wasn't at the gym at 13. I played basketball, but we didn't hit the gym for that. Girls maybe went to the gym if they were overweight and hung out on the elliptical and that's about it. I think
So here I am, 28 years old, and I'm walking into the gym for the first time at 28 years old (because why would I before I was overweight or an athlete, according to society) and I have no clue what the heck I'm doing. It sucked.
Plus, there's always a guy that decides the bench press IMMEDIATELY behind me while I'm squatting and deadlifting and states at my *kitten* the entire time he's resting.
I am just curious becaue I have never had a bad experience with the gym. Why did it suck? Were people mean to you or did you hurt yourself? Again, I am asking out of curiosity just to see what other peoples experience have been like.
It sucked like losing my virginty sucked. No clue what I was doing, worried how I looked and what people (ok, in the virginity scenario "person") thought, and got out of there as fast as I could.
Here's what my tour was like: So, this is the child care area. Blah blah blah 10 minutes about it. This is the group fitness area which is probably what you're most interested in. Blah blah blah 10 minutes about it. And here's the cardio stuff. When you're more advanced you can work your way over to those machines over there and follow the circuit (seriously a circuit of at least 30 machines.). The end.
HAHA!! I love the analogy! Thanks for the response! What you need is a gym buddy. Find someone who is more comfortable with the gym and have them show you a few things. You will realize (like sex) that it's easier than you think!0 -
Some of it is kid related too. I don't know about anyone else, but it's difficult to get a sitter regularly enough to get to the gym. I have to rely on working out at home when naps/bedtime allows it.
Or the daycare area is kinda skeevy...0 -
^^I believe it's because of magazines and media endorsing stupid broscience methods to losing weight and attaining a shape. And it starts young.
I've noticed that girls in middle school are trying to abstain from doing physical fitness (some due to sweating, messing up their hair, or because puberty is making it harder for them) and don't know if it carries on through high school. Personally, except for female athletes, I've never known any girl growing up that just went to the gym to lift and get stronger.
It's changing now though. May take another decade or so for some to see that the resistance training really is the ticket to a better body and not the crazy BS diets and scams that are still being passed around.
truuf
I was working out with a TRX in the park when a teenage boy and friends- tasked with taking their younger siblings to the park stopped by.
Teenage boys were talking about whatever- and left the girl about 10 or so and the other young boy to their own devices.
And she stopped and looked at me and goes- are you working out??
>me> yup
>girl> I need to lose weight too
<internal me> SHOCKED FACE
>me> oh sweetie- I'm not trying to lose weight- I'm trying to just get stronger and faster and better
>girl> oh I drink milk
<internal me> FACEPALM
I was so depressed that her only connection with working out was to lose weight- I think that says A LOT about what our societies children are being raised to believe. it was depressing.
:brokenheart: So sad.0 -
Sometimes I like to look at stupid women's magazine articles to laugh at how stupid they are. One time I picked one up and started skimming through something about "What your man loves best about you...." Some schieβe like that...
Anyway, number 1 said something along the lines of, "That extra fat around your middle that you hate so much actually turns him on. It makes you soft and cushioned."
It was revolting, but a lot of women and especially teenage girls believe bull**** just because it is printed in a magazine with an airbrushed woman on the cover.
lol, was it SHAPE magazine? That one makes me lol all the time.
Someone came to my door selling magazine subscriptions. I noticed the Shape magazine and thought that would be a good choice and help me with exercise ideas. I so want my money back. :-/0 -
this makes me sad- all these posts... I want to come work out with ALL of you ladies feeling like you are floating around hopelessly at the gym.I get discouraged. I don't know much about working out. I have tried to do my research but when I'm in there with machines and free weights and people floating around doing intense workouts, I get overwhelmed. I don't understand lifting much and cardio gets boring for me. I just get stressed in there and feel hopeless. I did much better when I had a friend to go with
sigh. I want super hero costume to come help women train with weights. seriously that's what i want to make my life's mission! It's SO satisfying... seriously. come to NJ- I shall help you all!!!
I want a super hero costume too!! But I need it to help the men in my life too. They say they are too intimidated to work out at the gym with me!! I DON'T GET IT!! I feel so good at the gym!!0 -
Well, I used to hate the gym because it was boring. I don't like cardio. Well, actually, I do, but I don't like the boring treadmill/elliptical/stationary bike/treadmill cardio. Which is what most women are told to do. And I need variety.
I like the gym now. Because lifting is fun. :happy:
^THIS! I think its because a typical woman's experiance/motivation is aesthetic in it's entirety. There's no focused strength demension, so it's a drain with such slow progression.0 -
I don't hate the gym myself - I love it! But I know a LOT of women who hate it because they spend so much time comparing themselves to other women. They aren't as strong or fast or fit or skinny.... and they don't like to go to the gym and look like they don't know what they're doing. That's what I'm gathering from most of the girls I'm trying to get to come to the gym with me (and I'm certainly not the skinniest or fittest girl in the gym by any stretch either LOL)
I spend my gym time in the free weights section so there aren't many women to compare myself to. I usually sit there and think... dude, you NEVER do leg day!0 -
I love the gym. I love how I feel after the gym. There will always be creeprs and stalkers at the gym. I notice that guys look once I step into the weight room floor. But when they realize this 5'0 women can lift more then them, they stop looking. I can do real pull up, dips, squats etc.
I think the gym is intimidating if you are unfamiliar w/ it. But once you get over your fears and focus on why you are there, you will get over it.
I also have tunnel vision at the gym. I just go in to do what I need to do and don't pay attention to everyone else.
Added benefit: showing a "cocky" guy that a small female is fitter that he is!!!!!! I love that feeling0 -
I love all the women responding here that they love the gym, so what on earth could the OP be talking about? Well, I'm female, I have no problem with the gym, but I have very few female friends that will step foot anywhere near the weights. They'll ride the elliptical for 45 minutes though. I also do aerial fitness and I hear women say all the time how it looks like so much fun but they have noooooo upper body strength and would never be able to build it.
So, from what I've experienced, it does seem that many women stick to cardio, yoga, and small, light weights. The reasons (from my experience): 1. They don't want to get bulky (rolls eyes) 2. The free weights are intimidating. 3. Their main purpose for working out is to lose weight and think cardio is the best way to achieve that.
And to be honest, until I started aerial, I didn't focus much on strength either. I had skinny arms, so why work them? I had a flat belly, so why do ab work? I did work on toning my lower half because that was my "trouble area". So until I had a hobby that required I be strong, I didn't worry about it.0 -
this makes me sad- all these posts... I want to come work out with ALL of you ladies feeling like you are floating around hopelessly at the gym.I get discouraged. I don't know much about working out. I have tried to do my research but when I'm in there with machines and free weights and people floating around doing intense workouts, I get overwhelmed. I don't understand lifting much and cardio gets boring for me. I just get stressed in there and feel hopeless. I did much better when I had a friend to go with
sigh. I want super hero costume to come help women train with weights. seriously that's what i want to make my life's mission! It's SO satisfying... seriously. come to NJ- I shall help you all!!!
Lol I wish I could! I tried signing up for this coaching program they have at my gym, but all the girl did was point me to a machine and says "Ok, just do this. 3 sets of 12" and then walks away, comes back and does the same thing for another machine. And it is always the same machines everytime and I am never sore. I wanted to use the free weights and do things using my body weight because the machines and me don't get along but she said that "beginners should stay on machines". Soo after 4 weeks of machines and the same thing each time I got fed up. And now I'm nervous to go back in there because I haven't been in so long.0 -
Yes, it's sad that so many women get hung up on looking stupid at doing an exercise rather than being go getters and actually trying. It doesn't hurt to try ladies! Get out there! Watch training videos and practice, practice, practice! Or hire trainers OR go out there and work it and a trainer will train ya for FREE (well, maybe for a bootycall).
I love state of the art gyms. I'm working out at home, though. Sometimes I pay a la carte daily admission fees when I want some scenery or to use machines such as leg press or an indoor track. Eye candy helps
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Lol I wish I could! I tried signing up for this coaching program they have at my gym, but all the girl did was point me to a machine and says "Ok, just do this. 3 sets of 12" and then walks away, comes back and does the same thing for another machine. And it is always the same machines everytime and I am never sore. I wanted to use the free weights and do things using my body weight because the machines and me don't get along but she said that "beginners should stay on machines". Soo after 4 weeks of machines and the same thing each time I got fed up. And now I'm nervous to go back in there because I haven't been in so long.
well if you are ever in NJ- come visit me- I shall take you to ze gym and teach you proper lifting.
we will have fun. and then you will drop weights on your feet because you laugh to much- which is why people refuse to lift with me.
If you are paying for a coaching program- insist on someone to teach you BARBELL training. Seriously. If you are paying for it- you better be getting what you want out of it.
Machines are great for injuries or just getting started- but they are limited- and given the right amount of time and some situational awareness- anyone can figure out how they work. BB training can be learned via internet but coaching is better- but if you are paying for something- get what you want- tell the sales manager you don't appreciate it- because anyone can EVENTUALLY figure out how to use a machine.
Seriously- all of you if given that machine- in your own home- you would be able to figure it out- you don't because it's nerve wrackign doing it in front of strangers- which I understand- but paying someone to put you on it and tell you reps then walk away is waste of your money and time. Insist on proper coaching with free weights and bar bells. Seriously. You don't need someone to slap you on a machine.0 -
I like the gym but my life is hectic right now and I hate not having enough time to get in a good workout. I mostly go on my lunch break or on the weekends. Since road construction has started on the highway i take to my gym, I can no longer go on my lunch hour since the traffic now takes me 25 minutes each way.. I try to go on weekends but then feel guilty all week about the things I didn't do at home and the time I didn't spend with my family.
I just have to force myself to go when I can and I always enjoy it when I do.0 -
I have struggled with the gym because I always feel like I could be doing something else. That is a woman thing!0
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