Fat-positive Feminism and Weight Loss

I'm hoping you can answer my question: what is the point of fat acceptance? Isn't it kind of bending to society, in a way, if you feel you have to give it the middle finger and be fat to spite it? By going out of your way to not conform to society's pressures, you're still expending energy on societal rules - even if the efforts are on breaking them. Wouldn't it be better to have people be "self positive", in that they accept their spirit and mind wholeheartedly and learn to love who they are on the inside? I guess I am a little confused in how this is a good thing, and a better alternative to focusing on being thin, because it's still largely dependent on someone's appearance. I'm not trying to be sarcastic or trollish, either, this is genuinely tripping me up a little bit.

I'm going to try to answer this and hopefully not eff it up. >_>;;

It's not saying, "Fat is great! Everyone should be fat!" (That's no better than, "Skinny is the best! If you're fat, you're bad!") It's about knowing our bodies, rather than believing that our bodies are faulty, ugly, unhealthy, or broken just because society expects them to be. It's a rejection of an expectation and a stereotype of what a fat person is or isn't. It's owning a space that is ours. I found this blog to be really helpful when trying to navigate the concept: http://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/

I generally prefer the phrase "body acceptance" to "fat acceptance," just because its a lot more inclusive, and trips because up less. (And of course, in a perfect world, we would all be self-positive! )

Sorry I didn't get to this earlier, I didn't realize anyone had actually answered my question and the thread just got too crazy to wade through.

I definitely understand what you're saying to be "body acceptance." I have far less problems with that term than with "fat acceptance." And, quite frankly, I think what you just described is the movement in its purest form. I could be wrong but some of the responses here are very muddied and not really what I would expect. Somehow I feel as if concentrating on your appearance and body that much, even if the intent is to not hate it for being fat, is not productive or positive. Why not concentrate on your health? Or, like I said above, your spirit and your mind? I am not sure why it's okay to say "I love myself, IN SPITE OF being fat." Are we going to have "serious acceptance" next, in which people who are not funny get to say "I love myself, IN SPITE OF being not funny"? No, we're not, because that has nothing to do with appearance.

I guess what I'm saying is that I don't think it's ok for someone to love themselves IN SPITE OF how they look. You shouldn't have to be spiting society if you're not worried about what it thinks about your appearance. For me, this "fat acceptance" is still counter intuitive in that you still have to take into account what society does and doesn't say instead of just worrying about how you feel about yourself.

Another thing that bothers me... "fat acceptance" isn't teaching little girls that they're more than how they look, it's saying that it's ok if they end up being fat because you can love yourself IN SPITE OF that. They're still just an image, albeit one that is opposite of how society supposedly wants them to look. I am still saddened that this movement still concentrates on someone's appearance and thinks that the way you look is the only thing that needs to be compensated for. To use my earlier example, what about girls who are serious and are not clever or funny, but who are thin? From what I understand, "fat acceptance" tells her that she's thin so she doesn't need to worry, because she doesn't have to love herself IN SPITE OF anything.

I get that this is supposed to be positive, and maybe shouldn't be read into as deeply as I am. But I don't think it's helping women become more than objects and be valued by more than their appearances at all.

Another thing that bothers me... "fat acceptance" isn't teaching little girls that they're more than how they look, it's saying that it's ok if they end up being fat because you can love yourself IN SPITE OF that. They're still just an image, albeit one that is opposite of how society supposedly wants them to look. I am still saddened that this movement still concentrates on someone's appearance and thinks that the way you look is the only thing that needs to be compensated for. To use my earlier example, what about girls who are serious and are not clever or funny, but who are thin? From what I understand, "fat acceptance" tells her that she's thin so she doesn't need to worry, because she doesn't have to love herself IN SPITE OF anything.

I get that this is supposed to be positive, and maybe shouldn't be read into as deeply as I am. But I don't think it's helping women become more than objects and be valued by more than their appearances at all.

I appreciate your thoughtful and respectful post, and I wanted to reply to this part. I don't think fat acceptance is about loving yourself IN SPITE of being fat. It's that being fat or not being fat shouldn't be a factor in loving yourself. In my view, it's that body size should not determine one's own worth.

That I can get behind. I think beyond that it's a question of semantics and deviations. I've been fat my entire life and still wish that it was "body acceptance", because skinny girls need to love themselves regardless of their size, too.

Honestly I think I'd prefer to make a distinction between "fat positive" and "body positive." Based on the OP's description, she used the term "fat positive" instead of the more common "body positive" pretty mindfully.

Where "body positive" is ultimately about loving your body at any size, it's ultimately "fat neutral" as well as "skinny neutral." It doesn't matter if you're fat or skinny, just love your body, love yourself. What the OP described as "fat positive" sounds like proactively choosing fat to make a statement.

Personally I'm in favor of body positivity. I can respect the politics behind "fat positivity" but I don't think I'd choose that for myself. And for whatever it's worth, age might have something to do with that. When I was in my 20s I intellectually KNEW that as I got older I'd start having health issues, but I probably didn't really emotionally believe it, deep down. Once I got to my 40s *kitten* GOT REAL. Being heavier leads to all kinds of quality of life issues as well as health -- less mobility, more aches and pains, harder to sleep, harder to breathe. So. I can't really be positive about that.

BUT I can -- and do -- reject subjective judgements from other people (and myself) for my fatness. F that.

... We can't go topless legally in most places.

That makes me sad. Does that mean I'm a feminist?

Serious note - do we want to talk about how women have more reproductive rights than men?

I am a woman who has become over weight due to mistreatment of health issues. I am now able to get back into shape after figuring everything out. I haven't felt comfortable in my skin for years. I don't thing women should be judged based on size, etc. But calling anything "fat positive" is basically an excuse to be unhealthy. Though I gained weight with my health issues I always tried to eat well and exercise when I could. I was never technically unhealthy other than those specific issues that were genetic. Being supportive of other women and everything is great but basically encouraging unhealthy habits because of feminism is just stupid.

With all of that being said, if women focused as hard on what they are doing in life i.e. work, school, etc. as they do with being a part of the feminist movement then they would be treated equally! I have worked my butt off in my career field (civil engineer) and passed my license exam on the first try. I earned the best job in my graduation class and started working the week after I graduated. I now have my dream job (2 years post graduation) as a project engineer while all those guys in my classes are still working in labs/as associate engineers. Focusing on feminism delays women's actual progress in life! Seriously, hard work and dedication work regardless of gender and even age.

....seriously? Well, seriously, the last time I checked, men didn't have a uterus. Seriously!

Never claimed we did. However the woman's decision binds a man for life, not just the time in utero. Woman wants to abort? Father has no legal say. Woman wants to keep it? Father has no legal say. The decision rests 100% on the woman but only 50% of the responsibility.

....seriously? Well, seriously, the last time I checked, men didn't have a uterus. Seriously!

Never claimed we did. However the woman's decision binds a man for life, not just the time in utero. Woman wants to abort? Father has no legal say. Woman wants to keep it? Father has no legal say. The decision rests 100% on the woman but only 50% of the responsibility.

Just sayin'...but could you please make this clear to some of our young folks who don't think twice about...oh, sorry....that's a different thread.

I'm not losing weight because society thinks women should be thin. I'm doing it because, at my weight, with my physical issues,mi could not do the things I love without excruciating pain.

Losing weight has given me my life back.

Save to read later

Loving yourself for where you're at is great, but don't let that hold you back from getting better. Humans are not static. If we're not consciously improving, we're only going to go backwards. It's not a bad thing to love a healthier you.