Girls do you like a nice guy? You just friendzoned him

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  • cparter
    cparter Posts: 754 Member
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    I am happily married but in my 49 years I have seen and heard plenty. I do not believe in the good guy bad guy viewpoint in dating. I believe in the alpha male claims the playing field until maturity sets in. I for one, was in the sow your oats as a youth but matured into a man who respected himself first and all other living creatures next.

    You cannot change the person you are but you can change the way you treat others and the perception you give to us. You can continue to be a jack$$$ and get dates and get laids but in the end it leaves you feeling empty and wanting more because you don't have something that you can hold onto or connected with. Been there and done that - having seven girl friends at once in my 20s but I was a fool and did not realize it until I met the one that change my heart and gave my soul a reason for exisiting.
  • onedayatatime12
    onedayatatime12 Posts: 577 Member
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    I don't. But most typically all around nice guys don't approach me. It seems like the guys that have liked me (and me, with my amazing social skills, didn't know that they liked me) were subtly flirty (knew him for 4+ years! how did I not see this one?) or the other ones were too immature and played junior high games (acting mean, etc.)

    Yeah I did friendzone him. He was kinda cute too- I didn't get to know him outside of high school... I do regret that, because we would have definitely made some fun friends regardless. :/ But even when people are there in your life for even a short amount of time, they leave an impression on you- his was brightening my days. :')
  • footiechick82
    footiechick82 Posts: 1,203 Member
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    This is a generalization...

    I am actually dating a guy I've been friends with for 5 years. I was with someone for 2 and he had told me he liked me (and thought I knew the whole time) about 2 months before my ex and I broke up. He was "friend zoned" and he knows it because, at the time, I didn't want anything when we had met and I didn't know he actually liked me. Now that I know, I'm taking full advantage because he's an amazing guy! If I lose this friendship though, I will be pretty heart broken. Things are good so far... a weekend away with him in a couple weeks and see if it's good enough to make it official :)
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    My hubby is a "nice guy" who constantly got "friend zoned". Once I started dating him, however, all the bishes came out the woodworks and started "seeing" him for the great guy he is.
  • lisamarie1780
    lisamarie1780 Posts: 432 Member
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    I'm not sure where I fall on this issue. What I do know is that even though this is a chat forum and no one really cares, you should still use proper grammer. I mean seriously, if you're going to claim to have all of the girls on MFP confess their love to you, don't do it in one giant run on sentence.

    Maybe I'm just not that sensitive. Sorry.

    You should learn how to spell before giving advice to others.

    lol yes... I believe it's 'grammar' and not 'grammer'

    That is all
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,780 Member
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    "Nice guy" = entitled man with poor social skills who believes that women owe him sex (or a relationship if he's the type who insists that it's not about sex) if he displays the bare minimum of being (or pretending to be) a decent human being.

    I'm sure this is what a lot of women tell themselves to rationalize behavior.

    Because from this statement, there appears that there are no quality men. Nice guys are wolves in sheep's clothing, and bad boys are just wolves.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
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    Nope, I like nice guys... easier to train and less drama for me.
  • Hexahedra
    Hexahedra Posts: 894 Member
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    A nice guy is often confused with a pushover. Few ladies like a pushover.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    Just because you think you're a nice guy and she won't sleep with you doesn't mean that you're A. Nice or B. Friend zoned. Maybe she finds you unattractive, maybe your personality doesn't mesh with hers, maybe you're an idiot, maybe you're feeling that girls are a machine you put nice coins into in exchange for sex turns her off.

    Maybe all of the above. All I know is that guys who lead with "I'm a really nice guy." Or "why do women like jerks/bad boys?" Becomes an immediate non-sexual being in my eyes. Might as well be a Ken doll.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
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    A friend wrote this on my wall. So I am sharing.

    Oh be my friend, i respect you, blah blah blah, hidden agenda to keep putting kindness into me until sex falls out, like Im some kind of slot machine who doesnt know what she wants. Just cause you're nice doesnt mean you're the one we want. there is more to it than nice. and besides its not Nice Guys vs Jerks - although there are two types for sure. Guys who are getting laid, and guys who arent.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,780 Member
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    Nope, I like nice guys... easier to train and less drama for me.

    Nice guys don't have to be wimps, soft, or "easy to train."

    I think that's where people might get confused. Just because someone is nice, doesn't mean they are a pushover.
  • SailorKnightWing
    SailorKnightWing Posts: 875 Member
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    In response to SailorKnightW's

    "Why do people keep replying to this guy's posts? He's a deactivated troll."





    That is not nice at all. We don't know him nor his story. He might have been really hurt by someone, who knows. He may have a broken heart. I do hope whatever his situation is that he learns from some of the advice given on here. He could have had a better delivery than how he posted it though.
    You must not have seen any of his other posts before he quit. Almost every single one of them was about how girls only like jerks and how awful girls are for not liking "nice guys."
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    Your threads have a common theme... Come, sit on my couch and tell me about the woman who crushed you.

    LOL!
  • kapatts
    kapatts Posts: 19
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    "Nice guy" = entitled man with poor social skills who believes that women owe him sex (or a relationship if he's the type who insists that it's not about sex) if he displays the bare minimum of being (or pretending to be) a decent human being.
    This exactly!

    As a "recovering nice guy", I was exactly this type of manipulative, self-serving loser...all while saying things like "nice guys finish last" and using terms like "friendzone". Once I shed my expectations on what I felt I was entitled to in my interactions with women, I got way more confident and way more successful. I view "nice guy" as an insult these days...and I'm never going back there.
    So you got push to the curb and became a jerk/ take what you want and leave them crying at the chapel?
    Not exactly. I never became a jerk, I just stopped being a doormat. I put the emphasis on bettering myself and managing my own needs...instead of trying to put her wants in front of my own. The way my relationships work now, everyone manages their own needs and if it doesn't hurt me to do so, I'll help out when I can. Less effort, better results, everybody is happier in the end. Everybody!
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    My husband is a "nice guy" and I never friendzoned him. We were introduced by mutual friends who just thought I needed to go out and have some fun. I had just gotten out of a 9 year abusive marriage and "nice", "patient", and "kind" were just what I was looking for. I fell for him immediately.

    my story is similar to yours. I was in a toxic, abusive marriage for 4 years and when I got the nerve to leave, I started dating a nice guy. A genuine nice guy, not some entitled *kitten*. That's not to say I always get my way or that he's a doormat, far from it. But, he is patient, sweet, caring, brutally honest, kind, compassionate, protective, genuine, etc...
  • jdm_taco
    jdm_taco Posts: 999 Member
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    nice guy swag ftw!!!


    works evertime
  • justal313
    justal313 Posts: 1,375 Member
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    I spent most of my life as the friendzoned guy, seriously. My nickname "Just Al" comes from the fact that I was always perceived as the non-threatening brother like guy "I couldn't date him, he's Just Al" "I don't have to worry about going there with him, he's Just Al"

    Seriously though, I'm still very good friends with most of the women who friend zoned me (except for the ones who moved away) and I found out after the fact that my now wife was threatened with grievous bodily harm by several of them if she broke my heart.

    Doesn't matter I was ever friend zoned because I am very happy with where I am now and who I am with.

    I have found someone I love more than my wife though, my daughter. Don't tell my wife she isn't my favorite...
  • Mainebikerchick
    Mainebikerchick Posts: 1,573 Member
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    After a 4 1/2 year abusive relationship in which I was THISCLOSE to being killed....I too, fell for a "nice guy". He was everything that the abusive jerkwad was NOT and I fell hard for the kindness, patience, compassion and love that he showed me.

    We've been together 13 years now, married in 2010 and our son is 11....he is my knight in shining armor and I've never looked back!! :heart:
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    After a 4 1/2 year abusive relationship in which I was THISCLOSE to being killed....I too, fell for a "nice guy". He was everything that the abusive jerkwad was NOT and I fell hard for the kindness, patience, compassion and love that he showed me.

    We've been together 13 years now, married in 2010 and our son is 11....he is my knight in shining armor and I've never looked back!! :heart:

    :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • Macgeek74
    Macgeek74 Posts: 298 Member
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    In response to SailorKnightW's

    "Why do people keep replying to this guy's posts? He's a deactivated troll."





    That is not nice at all. We don't know him nor his story. He might have been really hurt by someone, who knows. He may have a broken heart. I do hope whatever his situation is that he learns from some of the advice given on here. He could have had a better delivery than how he posted it though.
    You must not have seen any of his other posts before he quit. Almost every single one of them was about how girls only like jerks and how awful girls are for not liking "nice guys."

    Sorry about that. I guess I didnt then if that is the case then mfp is a better place with him gone. I did see someone make an entitlement statement and maybe it was a response to him. He has to earn and work for a woman's heart and go through life thinking he is entitled to it because he is nice. Heck, who knows, he might be nice at all. There is this one woman I am sweet on and Ill tell you what, I will work my tail off to win her over.

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