Girls do you like a nice guy? You just friendzoned him

wheird

It's true right?

Beta zone!

Vodka and pizza?

somefitsomefat

I like the nice guys just fine, but I've noticed the not-always-so-nice guys are the ones that will take charge a bit more in the bedroom.

This is probably a byproduct of the female lifecycle.

Teens-20ish: Plow through as many jerks as possible
20ish-30ish: Date jerks since that's slightly better than plowing through them
30ish-40ish: Marry a jerk who has mostly bad qualities but a couple good ones (cheater with a drinking problem who loves puppies for instance)
40ish+: Find actual nice guy to take care of ex-husbands kids since the boys at the bar don't seem to be buying her as many drinks as they used to

In other words, nice guys don't get much batting practice.

MsJulielicious

It's true right?

Beta zone!

Vodka and pizza?

Annnnd that's how it's done

Erinelda

I don't friendzone nice guys, I friendzone boring wussies.

rml_16

I these threads.

They're magnets for stereotypes, bitterness, *kitten* hats, and anti-social personalities.

So . . . In.

IKR? So many hateful women in here.

I still hold that finding a great woman is harder than finding a great man.

I don't know about how common either good men or good women are, but I know I got lucky.

I think you both did. Trust me when I say, as a single man, that good women are scarce and most are already married.

I'm a dam good woman and when I was single men were not exactly beating down my door. Heck, I'm 37 and not married yet!

Just sayin'.

They're out there. You're just too busy looking at the Barbie dolls. :flowerforyou:

Soon.

Ha ha.

I've been with my fiance for nine years and we're getting married ni the summer.

Honestly, I have a ton of interests and talents and marriage isn't my main objective. I'm just pointing out that men may complain there aren't "good women" out there, but they really aren't looking very hard. Or they're looking in the wrong places.

It's not even that I've been single-single. I've had relationships (some with jerks and some that just didn't work out). But during the times I was single as an adult, it wasn't like men were chasing me left and right, either.

wheird

It's true right?

Beta zone!

Vodka and pizza?

Annnnd that's how it's done

Entice your prey with delicious food and then give them booze so they make bad decisions.

EngineerPrincess

Being a girl's good friend does not guarantee you a relationship (or, rather what most guys who use this "friendzone" term want, sex.) Girls are people. Most people will not want a sexual relationship with everyone they meet. Romantic and sexual relationships happen when there's a mutual attraction in that way. If it's not there for one person, the other has the right to be sad, but complaining about the other person as if there's something wrong with them shows you're an idiot. Friendships are great and do not have to be sexual to be valued as deeply.

Problems like this occur when there's a societal gender binary and sexist social norms. Ugh.

RivenV

I like the nice guys just fine, but I've noticed the not-always-so-nice guys are the ones that will take charge a bit more in the bedroom.

This is probably a byproduct of the female lifecycle.

Teens-20ish: Plow through as many jerks as possible
20ish-30ish: Date jerks since that's slightly better than plowing through them
30ish-40ish: Marry a jerk who has mostly bad qualities but a couple good ones (cheater with a drinking problem who loves puppies for instance)
40ish+: Find actual nice guy to take care of ex-husbands kids since the boys at the bar don't seem to be buying her as many drinks as they used to

In other words, nice guys don't get much batting practice.

Don't you know how to get to Carnegie Hall?

... Practice.

evilpixiegrrr

I think that the friend zone thing is often an excuse. Sorry. Some women like them bad, but for the most part, there's usually a reason you're friend zoned. You just have to find the reason. You might not like it, but you need to figure it out.

For example: I've always liked nice guys, but so often many of them lack the confidence to approach women. You know who do have the confidence? Bad boys. If you don't want to be friend zoned, ask a woman you're interested in out. That puts it out there directly.

I've been happily married to a nice guy for years.

silver_arrow3

It's true right?

Beta zone!

Vodka and pizza?

Annnnd that's how it's done

Entice your prey with delicious food and then give them booze so they make bad decisions.

Alcohol and offers of candy in my van have yet to work. Tranquilizer darts are next on the list.

tomomatic

What can I say: Some girls are into the dudes that make mix tapes for them and some aren't. (Most aren't)
Never surrender! But definitely move on. Never burn bridges because she might have a cute friend or sister.

alaynavee

Being a girl's good friend does not guarantee you a relationship (or, rather what most guys who use this "friendzone" term want, sex.) Girls are people. Most people will not want a sexual relationship with everyone they meet. Romantic and sexual relationships happen when there's a mutual attraction in that way. If it's not there for one person, the other has the right to be sad, but complaining about the other person as if there's something wrong with them shows you're an idiot. Friendships are great and do not have to be sexual to be valued as deeply.

Problems like this occur when there's a societal gender binary and sexist social norms. Ugh.

Yep!! True and well said! Accept it and move on - she is just not that into you!!

wheird

It is always a little interesting to FZ women who dont really fit well with what I am looking for. They generally are not sure what to make of it.

Roadie2000

I don't friendzone nice guys, I friendzone boring wussies.

Why do you want to be friends with boring wussies?

wheird

It's true right?

Beta zone!

Vodka and pizza?

Annnnd that's how it's done

Entice your prey with delicious food and then give them booze so they make bad decisions.

Alcohol and offers of candy in my van have yet to work. Tranquilizer darts are next on the list.

Offer me PB or pretzel m&ms and I will be tossing my boxers at you.

wheird

I don't friendzone nice guys, I friendzone boring wussies.

Why do you want to be friends with boring wussies?

For their skills in magic.

poultryofperil

Roadie, it's not letting me reply to you for some reason, so I'll just say it here. The thing about waiting around for that "one in a million chance" is that once the girl you're interested in realizes that's what you want, it creates this weird rift. I don't speak for every girl, obviously, but I don't like having that unspoken expectation that one day I'll come around. That kind of thing makes us feel really crappy, even though we are in no way obligated to go out with someone we don't want to go out with. If we have no interest in a guy romantically, sexually, or both, then why should we be pressed to date them just because they're interested in us? That's really not fair. If we really enjoy your friendship for what it is, then oftentimes WE'RE hoping that you'll eventually lose interest and get over it so we can carry on having a nice, platonic relationship with you without watching everything we say and do to make sure you're not reading into it. I'm sure there are some guys out there that don't get bitter and angry when the girl they spend a lot of attention on refuses to give into that pressure, but it seems like the overwhelming majority do. If we break off the relationship once it's apparent that they're interested, we're not, and there's nothing to be done? Well, then we're *****es. If we continue on with the friendship because we don't want to hurt their feelings and we do honestly like them as a friend, but they refuse to accept that? Well, then we're double *****es.

We get told day in and day out that we're supposed to be nice. But being nice often leads the door to stay open to crap we don't want. On that note, there's a lot of guys that claim to be in the friendzone that aren't. They're actually in the, "Jesus Christ why won't this guy get over himself or leave me the hell alone" zone.

silver_arrow3

It's true right?

Beta zone!

Vodka and pizza?

Annnnd that's how it's done

Entice your prey with delicious food and then give them booze so they make bad decisions.

Alcohol and offers of candy in my van have yet to work. Tranquilizer darts are next on the list.

Offer me PB or pretzel m&ms and I will be tossing my boxers at you.

There is a bag of pretzel m&ms in my car. No joke. One of those big giant bags.

ItsCasey

The lack of confidence isn't the real reason women hate the "nice guy" bull****, because we completely understand the lack of confidence and fear of rejection involved with making the first move.

Don't speak for all women. Lack of confidence and "But I'm scared of rejection" bull**** are way up there on my list of turn-offs, and it's not because it makes someone less of a man to not want to see his ego bruised; it's because he must be self-loathing to an almost pathological degree if he's going to give up without even trying.

Rejection is a part of life. People "apply" for things all the time that they know they might not get ... colleges, jobs/promotions, offers on homes, etc. Why is asking a woman out any different? If you are going to not go after something you want because there's a chance you might not get it, then honestly, I probably don't even want to be friends with you, let alone date you. I like people with ambition, people who believe they are good enough or are willing to put in whatever effort is required to BECOME good enough. I don't like people who default to the path of least resistance.

wheird

It's true right?

Beta zone!

Vodka and pizza?

Annnnd that's how it's done

Entice your prey with delicious food and then give them booze so they make bad decisions.

Alcohol and offers of candy in my van have yet to work. Tranquilizer darts are next on the list.

Offer me PB or pretzel m&ms and I will be tossing my boxers at you.

There is a bag of pretzel m&ms in my car. No joke. One of those big giant bags.

*flings boxers*