Girls do you like a nice guy? You just friendzoned him
Replies
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The lack of confidence isn't the real reason women hate the "nice guy" bull****, because we completely understand the lack of confidence and fear of rejection involved with making the first move.
Don't speak for all women. Lack of confidence and "But I'm scared of rejection" bull**** are way up there on my list of turn-offs, and it's not because it makes someone less of a man to not want to see his ego bruised; it's because he must be self-loathing to an almost pathological degree if he's going to give up without even trying.
Rejection is a part of life. People "apply" for things all the time that they know they might not get ... colleges, jobs/promotions, offers on homes, etc. Why is asking a woman out any different? If you are going to not go after something you want because there's a chance you might not get it, then honestly, I probably don't even want to be friends with you, let alone date you. I like people with ambition, people who believe they are good enough or are willing to put in whatever effort is required to BECOME good enough. I don't like people who default to the path of least resistance.0 -
It's true right?
Beta zone!
Vodka and pizza?
Annnnd that's how it's done
Entice your prey with delicious food and then give them booze so they make bad decisions.
Alcohol and offers of candy in my van have yet to work. Tranquilizer darts are next on the list.
Offer me PB or pretzel m&ms and I will be tossing my boxers at you.
There is a bag of pretzel m&ms in my car. No joke. One of those big giant bags.
*flings boxers*0 -
Why do you want to be friends with boring wussies?I don't friendzone nice guys, I friendzone boring wussies.
For their skills in magic.
My husband's blue/black deck gets me every time... no matter what color I play.0 -
The lack of confidence isn't the real reason women hate the "nice guy" bull****, because we completely understand the lack of confidence and fear of rejection involved with making the first move.
Don't speak for all women. Lack of confidence and "But I'm scared of rejection" bull**** are way up there on my list of turn-offs, and it's not because it makes someone less of a man to not want to see his ego bruised; it's because he must be self-loathing to an almost pathological degree if he's going to give up without even trying.
Rejection is a part of life. People "apply" for things all the time that they know they might not get ... colleges, jobs/promotions, offers on homes, etc. Why is asking a woman out any different? If you are going to not go after something you want because there's a chance you might not get it, then honestly, I probably don't even want to be friends with you, let alone date you. I like people with ambition, people who believe they are good enough or are willing to put in whatever effort is required to BECOME good enough. I don't like people who default to the path of least resistance.
This is very true. I meant to add that I was speaking for me personally, but I got kind of caught up in the other part I was talking about. I'm slowly learning not to be a wuss, so really aggressive people alarm me a little bit. To each their own! But for real. I think a large part of the problem is thinking every woman wants the same thing. If you think one thing goes for all women across the board, you're not even trying to get to know her (this goes for anyone who likes women, not just men).
Addendum: This goes for anyone, period, to be honest. Everyone is different.0 -
Why do you want to be friends with boring wussies?I don't friendzone nice guys, I friendzone boring wussies.
For their skills in magic.
My husband's blue/black deck gets me every time... no matter what color I play.
Oh you win. :laugh:0 -
First, consider this, gentlemen: Women are not vending machines that you put kindness coins in until sex falls out. We are human beings, just like you, with our own strengths, weaknesses, interests, personalities, and traits we are attracted to. You can not control the actions or attractions of anyone other than yourself.
There are a few camps of people in the "friendzone":
Group 1) You are not mature enough to accept lack of mutual compatibility (sad face).
Group 2) You like a horrible person and are just now realizing it (sad face).
Group 3)You are a horrible person and do not realize it (sad face).
{Group 1}
Feeling rejected sucks. But she hasn't actually rejected you as a human being. She still wants you in her life. She just turned you down for a date. You aren't what she likes (and that's okay). That says just as much something about her, as it does you. You are both separate individuals that did not match up in terms of similar interests and attractions. This is not a failing, it is a lack of compatibility. Chalk it up to that and move on to someone you have more in common. Finding and clicking with someone you actually have stuff in common with and likes you back is better than being bitter about liking the wrong person for you.
{Group 2}
Okay, so let's assume you are a well-rounded, self-aware, emotionally intelligent human being. You would love to date her, you have told her so in an upfront and immediate way, and she continues to let you do nice things for her that exceed normal friendship-level favors (i.e. anything you wouldn't do for any good friend). Then, she is using you and you do not like a good person. This person is not considerate of the feelings of others. This type of a person is only interested in what they can get from other people (like those who always claim they are friendzoned--b/c all they want is sex. See Group 3).
{Group 3}
If you only were her friend so that you could date her (to get the benefits of a girlfriend), then you were lying throughout the faux-friendship (and are being a Dbag-Mc****face). What you are really saying is that <i>her feelings are irrelevant</i> because they do not match up to the fantasy you have created in your head. Because her feelings do not matter as much as how this girl makes your dangling man-bits feel. That's not a woman you are attracted to, that's a fantasy and her saying no is her exerting her right as a human being. Maybe you are just into her because she is really pretty. That's very superficial and a relationship built solely on physical attraction is neither lasting nor fulfilling.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Sometimes people won't like you. Sometimes they won't want to date you. There are a million reasons why she/he doesn't want to either date and/or bang you. Being sad about a someone's lack of interest is a normal human way to respond to the feeling of rejection. Saying you were friendzoned is immature and girlfriendzoning someone is disrespectful to the person (not object) of your affection.
You have two options: keep pining and blame others for those unrequited feelings only you can control OR move on and find someone who will like you for you. **Please, above all things, stop saying you are friendzoned. It's really annoying blaming women for your bad feelings that you wish you didn't feel. **0 -
Why do you want to be friends with boring wussies?I don't friendzone nice guys, I friendzone boring wussies.
For their skills in magic.
My husband's blue/black deck gets me every time... no matter what color I play.
Oh you win. :laugh:
Well, I didn't say I lost.
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Too many people who call themselves "nice guys" use that as an excuse to justify why they aren't forward or up front about what they want. I am a "nice guy." And I used to be friend zoned by every girl I was interested in. The only thing it took to fix that was to be forward and up front with them about my intentions, and have enough sense of self worth to walk away when the stress just wasn't worth it anymore. By changing just those two things--NOTHING ELSE--I stopped getting friend zoned.0
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in my experience every guy who i've "friendzoned" who has been a "nice guy" has actually been a bitter arsehole. they've been so nice to me until i said i only want to be friends, then were absolutely horrible to me. pleeeaaaase, you arent a nice guy if you're only nice to me if i want to be your girlfriend. being a nice guy does NOT give you any power over a woman's choice in a partner, get over it.0
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I don't think there's any faster way to make me want to not talk to someone than to unironically use the phrase "friendzone."
What's so terrible about being friends with a girl? If you have feelings for her that aren't reciprocated, either deal with it or stop hanging out with her if it's too much. It's as simple as that, there's nothing that anyone owes you, there is no amount of time or attention you give her that you can hope to exchange for what you want, it's as simple as that.
It's pretty much for the same reason that no matter how long someone knows me, or how nice they are to me, or how much they support me, will I ever let them piss on my face, even if that's what they desperately want. Seriously, your presence is not currency, your creepiness you misinterpret as "niceness" is not currency. There's no exchanging.
Also, there are plenty of girls I know that I find attractive, or that find me attractive, and even though one or the other has thought about having sex, we just don't act on it. Why? Because we're human beings with restraint, and because friends with benefits isn't something that work out in our friendship, so we just don't do it because it's the smartest and most sensible thing to be done.
We're not "friendzoning" each other by not acting on our base desires.
I think people that believe in that crap fundamentally misunderstand how human interaction works.
Also, when girls talk about dating *kitten* or *kitten*, they're talking about their ex, or idiots they've dated. Many of my exes are people I don't like very much and I refer to them as "jerks" in the past tense. It's not because I'm attracted to jerks, like so many men think women are, but because relationships have a tendency to end badly every now and then and your impressions of your ex are then negative. That's who those jerks are, they're exes, crappy dates or relationships, not a "type" of guy that exists, which, by the way, can be conclusively summarized as "the guy who is boning the girl that I have a desperate unrequited desire for."0 -
Great points0
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I don't know, but I'm going to marry my 'nice guy'!0
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I have two videos for this. 1 is a song by Chester See and Ryan Higa. The other is a very helpful video by Jenna Marbles. They sum up all I have to say on the matter.
Ryan Higa "Nice Guys Finish Last"
http://youtu.be/xfeys7Jfnx8
Jenna Marbles "Nice Guys Do Not Finish Last"
http://youtu.be/3VXXXX9iVPI
"You don't hear us moping around about how nice we are and how good we can cook sandwiches and *kitten*".0 -
I
Jenna Marbles "Nice Guys Do Not Finish Last"http://youtu.be/3VXXXX9iVPI
"You don't hear us moping around about how nice we are and how good we can cook sandwiches and *kitten*".
Too late, I posted this like 10 pages ago (good taste) 0 -
I know girls like bad boys...thank goodness0
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I know girls like bad boys...thank goodness
The dumb ones do0 -
Actual nice guys do not complain about being "nice guys"0
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Sometimes I wish I was "Nice Guys"... :indifferent: Oh Look! Bacon!!!:happy:
What were you saying again?:devil: 0 -
BillyMays0 has deactivated their account.
:huh:0 -
BillyMays0 has deactivated their account.
:huh:
because he got friendzoned by all his girl mfp friends!!! HA
WHAT.A.LOSER.
thats like the hardest thing to ever do.0 -
Sometimes I wish I was "Nice Guys"... :indifferent: Oh Look! Bacon!!!:happy:
What were you saying again?:devil:
Haha when my sentences stop making sense it must be past my bedtime. In for the bacon even if OP is gone0 -
I miss Billy... He seemed like such a Nice Guy...
:frown:0 -
Self-confessed "nice guys" who wine about women not liking them because they're just "SO NICE" and "women just like jerks" always have underlying personality issues that makes them repellant to women in the first place.0
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I miss Billy... He seemed like such a Nice Guy...
:frown:
:laugh:0 -
:laugh:BillyMays0 has deactivated their account.
:huh:
because he got friendzoned by all his girl mfp friends!!! HA
WHAT.A.LOSER.
thats like the hardest thing to ever do.
I wonder if she saw the thread.0 -
This thread and topic is done to death, but my opinion is that the myth about 'nice guys' being 'friend zoned' totally misses the point.
Genuine nice guys don't refer to themselves as 'Nice guys' in the same way that really funny people never have to tell you they're funny.
My own belief is that a lot of guys that are maybe not particularly forthright or not that great at putting themselves 'out there' do get overlooked, but a lot of the time it's because a woman may have no idea he's interested.
The dating world works very differently for different people, and in my experience, very differently between men and women.
The bottom line is.....if he calls himself a 'nice guy' there are underlying issues that have caused him to consider this far too much. In the same way that if I see someone that say 'I'm funny.....or at least people tell me I am' they automatically put themselves in the category of idiot.
It's a fine set of lines between confidence, arrogance and having absolutely no self awareness whatsoever.0 -
Too many people who call themselves "nice guys" use that as an excuse to justify why they aren't forward or up front about what they want. I am a "nice guy." And I used to be friend zoned by every girl I was interested in. The only thing it took to fix that was to be forward and up front with them about my intentions, and have enough sense of self worth to walk away when the stress just wasn't worth it anymore. By changing just those two things--NOTHING ELSE--I stopped getting friend zoned.
^^^^^ this
because "friendzone" is a really childish concept which implies that women are doing something bad by having male friends who are just friends and not falling into their arms because they are "nice"............. if you want to be more than friends, then make a move. Most women don't know if a man finds them attractive or wants to be more than friends, and won't know unless you tell her. If I'm friends with a man i assume that he just wants friendship and isn't attracted to me. There's no point where a woman thinks "I'm going to put him in the friendzone".... and this advice applies to women as well, if they have a male friend that they want to be more than friends with. Let them know how you feel. If the feelings are mutual then take it from there. If the feelings are not mutual, then just accept it because people are not attracted to every single person of the opposite gender (or the same gender if they're gay I expect gay people have this issue as well, i.e. attracted to a friend and wanting to be more than friends), it doesn't mean they chose to put you in a "friendzone". It just means they're not attracted to you. Stay friends, but look for someone else for a more serious relationship. Don't get butthurt. That's just life.0 -
"Nice guy" = entitled man with poor social skills who believes that women owe him sex (or a relationship if he's the type who insists that it's not about sex) if he displays the bare minimum of being (or pretending to be) a decent human being.
Hahah this is the best post. It does not make you "nice" if you are gonna b*i*t*c*h about how that girl is not gonna have sex with you and hurr durr she wants a jerk. You could say that I am a "nice guy", but the thing is if I like a girl I am gonna be direct and just say to her and not trying to be a "friend" in hope she is gonna sleep with me one day. I think that is pathetic and no wonder girls friend zone guys like this. You do not have to be a "jerk" for girls to like you.0 -
"Nice guy" = entitled man with poor social skills who believes that women owe him sex (or a relationship if he's the type who insists that it's not about sex) if he displays the bare minimum of being (or pretending to be) a decent human being.
THIS.0 -
I think this comic sums it up quite nicely (and hilariously):
"THE FRIENDZONER vs THE NICE GUY"
https://imgur.com/a/RmAjE0
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