Girls do you like a nice guy? You just friendzoned him
Replies
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The thing is I do not believe in male-female friendships. There are really no girls which I like as friend company. Sure, I can go out with some girls I know on friday night with my other company, but they are not my friends. In past I tried to be friends with some girls, but it always turned out that I started to like her in physical way or she started to like me so I just stopped that s*h*i*t all together at once. Other thing is that there is no "guy talk" with girls and things that interests most girls are boring to me so why bother to pretend that I am interested? I am not saying that there are no boring guys, but we can find a lot more thing in common.
You might be meeting the wrong kind of women. :laugh: I have many more male friends than female friends. Sure, some have tried to date me, and I told them no. Of that portion, some stayed friends, and some were only interested in teh vag. As it is, I'm more open, blunt, and "guy-like" than some of the men that I know. That's actually a large part of why I have so few female friends, but the female friends I do have are just as aggressive, perverted, and blunt as I am, so it's fun.
This.0 -
Oh god, no. Not the "nice guy" who got "friendzoned".0
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I can honestly say that my boyfriend is one of the nice guys, and I mean really nice. He's incredibly supportive of everything in my life such as career, family problems, finances etc. He's understanding and genuine. I trust him 100%. I used to go for the 'bad guys' when I was a teenager, but then I grew up...0
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I think this comic sums it up quite nicely (and hilariously):
"THE FRIENDZONER vs THE NICE GUY"
https://imgur.com/a/RmAjE
Love this!
I found a genuinely 'nice guy' - not one who labelled himself as that in order to deal with a bruised ego - and I married him.0 -
Thing is that I can only see girls as a friend that are not appealing to me in physical way, but than what it happens she makes a move on me. Sure, she can be interesting as a person, but if I do not feel sexual attraction that would be just me forcing myself in something I really do not want. I have to put her in "friendzone" and that just makes me feel bad, because she can be a really good friend, but I am not interested in that kind of way. When that did happened a couple of times I just said no to all this ever again.
Every woman you know has thrown herself at you, huh?
Not like that. It can start as a friendship, but always it was me liking her ( and not telling her that) or she liking me (and not telling me that) . Either, I want to stay on friendship level or she wants So, I just stopped with that all together. Generally, in area were I live this attitude is not uncommon. Of course I can be friend with some older neighbor women or something like that, but with girls of my age hardly. No, I am not even that good looking for girls to be "throwing them self on me", but I just have different point of view on male-female relationship and it did showed to be truth for me at least.
Sadly I can certainly imagine that if you live many places in the US your viewpoints are indeed common. I like giving people new perspectives though, especially when the current social perspectives on male-female friendships are downright sexist and deny women any social power outside of sexual relations with men. So my post was food for thought for you! Never too late to try and change society for the better. It changes all the time. This viewpoint helps back a terrible social assumption that the female gender's entire worth to society is only sexual. By doing that you add to the struggles of 51% of the people on earth. Occasionally you'll meet a person you're attracted to, for you they'll likely be female, but treat other women your age the way you would treat men. With respect, as interesting people, who could potentially be your friend, coworker, superior, or anything else. THAT makes someone a nice person.
And I highly doubt every girl your age you've met that you're not attracted to has become attracted to you. Unless you're quite young, in which case ridiculous numbers of hormones make teens sexually attracted to all girls, some guys, and sometimes more than that. But even then. Generalizations will not help you in life.
Nah, I really do not care if I "limit" myself. I got a dozen of male friends from childhood which I have been friends with 10+ years and they proven to be"real" (standing by you when s*h*i*t hits the fan). I really do not feel that I am missing something out.0 -
There's a difference between a nice guy and a Nice Guy. Here's a reformed Nice Guy talking about the difference: http://www.shakesville.com/2007/12/explainer-what-is-nice-guy.html
Why do we talk about girls friendzoning guys, and not guys girlfriendzoning girls? Why doesn't a girl go to her friends and say "I met this guy that I really liked and I thought we'd be good friends, but he totally girlfriendzoned me". assumes0 -
There's a difference between a nice guy and a Nice Guy. Here's a reformed Nice Guy talking about the difference: http://www.shakesville.com/2007/12/explainer-what-is-nice-guy.html
That might be the best thing on the internet. Thanks very much for that.0 -
Totally agree. Great comic and nails it.
"Nice guy" or not, it's up to a guy that is friends with a girl to be upfront about his feelings. There is nothing wrong with feeling attracted to a female friend and wanting to date her after getting to know her a bit. But do NOT pine for her or keep it this deep, dark secret, or get resentful. Be upfront, accept what she says.
If she's not interested be honest about if you can still be just friends. Hopefully you can. Don't stay friends and secretly think you can secretly convince her or manipulate her into liking you. The best thing you can do is move on and go for other women.0 -
Thing is that I can only see girls as a friend that are not appealing to me in physical way, but than what it happens she makes a move on me. Sure, she can be interesting as a person, but if I do not feel sexual attraction that would be just me forcing myself in something I really do not want. I have to put her in "friendzone" and that just makes me feel bad, because she can be a really good friend, but I am not interested in that kind of way. When that did happened a couple of times I just said no to all this ever again.
Every woman you know has thrown herself at you, huh?
Not like that. It can start as a friendship, but always it was me liking her ( and not telling her that) or she liking me (and not telling me that) . Either, I want to stay on friendship level or she wants So, I just stopped with that all together. Generally, in area were I live this attitude is not uncommon. Of course I can be friend with some older neighbor women or something like that, but with girls of my age hardly. No, I am not even that good looking for girls to be "throwing them self on me", but I just have different point of view on male-female relationship and it did showed to be truth for me at least.
Sadly I can certainly imagine that if you live many places in the US your viewpoints are indeed common. I like giving people new perspectives though, especially when the current social perspectives on male-female friendships are downright sexist and deny women any social power outside of sexual relations with men. So my post was food for thought for you! Never too late to try and change society for the better. It changes all the time. This viewpoint helps back a terrible social assumption that the female gender's entire worth to society is only sexual. By doing that you add to the struggles of 51% of the people on earth. Occasionally you'll meet a person you're attracted to, for you they'll likely be female, but treat other women your age the way you would treat men. With respect, as interesting people, who could potentially be your friend, coworker, superior, or anything else. THAT makes someone a nice person.
And I highly doubt every girl your age you've met that you're not attracted to has become attracted to you. Unless you're quite young, in which case ridiculous numbers of hormones make teens sexually attracted to all girls, some guys, and sometimes more than that. But even then. Generalizations will not help you in life.
Nah, I really do not care if I "limit" myself. I got a dozen of male friends from childhood which I have been friends with 10+ years and they proven to be"real" (standing by you when s*h*i*t hits the fan). I really do not feel that I am missing something out.
10+ friends from childhood is good, you're set for life. I would definitely recommend you stop seeking friendships. Especially with women.0 -
There's a difference between a nice guy and a Nice Guy. Here's a reformed Nice Guy talking about the difference: http://www.shakesville.com/2007/12/explainer-what-is-nice-guy.html
That might be the best thing on the internet. Thanks very much for that.
This sums it up. Thread closed most everyone agrees lol.0 -
the friendzone sounds like a cool place, like chuck e. cheese or something.
i wanna go to the friendzone i dunno what everyone's complaining about.
but in all seriousness, imo the friendzone is a myth.
just because you're nice to a girl doesn't mean she owes you anything.
and frankly that implication is gross all over.0 -
All the nice guys friend zone me0
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What studies?I certainly have not trudged through the whole thread but the reality is that studies have shown that women tend to want nice guys as friends and have sex with the jerks they meet. Of course, a lot of "nice guys" who get rejected by women often overlook "nice girls" while they are chasing after a hot piece of *kitten*. In many respects, there is often hypocrisy on both sides of the issue.0 -
Thing is that I can only see girls as a friend that are not appealing to me in physical way, but than what it happens she makes a move on me. Sure, she can be interesting as a person, but if I do not feel sexual attraction that would be just me forcing myself in something I really do not want. I have to put her in "friendzone" and that just makes me feel bad, because she can be a really good friend, but I am not interested in that kind of way. When that did happened a couple of times I just said no to all this ever again.
Every woman you know has thrown herself at you, huh?
Not like that. It can start as a friendship, but always it was me liking her ( and not telling her that) or she liking me (and not telling me that) . Either, I want to stay on friendship level or she wants So, I just stopped with that all together. Generally, in area were I live this attitude is not uncommon. Of course I can be friend with some older neighbor women or something like that, but with girls of my age hardly. No, I am not even that good looking for girls to be "throwing them self on me", but I just have different point of view on male-female relationship and it did showed to be truth for me at least.
Sadly I can certainly imagine that if you live many places in the US your viewpoints are indeed common. I like giving people new perspectives though, especially when the current social perspectives on male-female friendships are downright sexist and deny women any social power outside of sexual relations with men. So my post was food for thought for you! Never too late to try and change society for the better. It changes all the time. This viewpoint helps back a terrible social assumption that the female gender's entire worth to society is only sexual. By doing that you add to the struggles of 51% of the people on earth. Occasionally you'll meet a person you're attracted to, for you they'll likely be female, but treat other women your age the way you would treat men. With respect, as interesting people, who could potentially be your friend, coworker, superior, or anything else. THAT makes someone a nice person.
And I highly doubt every girl your age you've met that you're not attracted to has become attracted to you. Unless you're quite young, in which case ridiculous numbers of hormones make teens sexually attracted to all girls, some guys, and sometimes more than that. But even then. Generalizations will not help you in life.
Nah, I really do not care if I "limit" myself. I got a dozen of male friends from childhood which I have been friends with 10+ years and they proven to be"real" (standing by you when s*h*i*t hits the fan). I really do not feel that I am missing something out.
10+ friends from childhood is good, you're set for life. I would definitely recommend you stop seeking friendships. Especially with women.
I do not know if you are trying to be sarcastic or something, but I am happy with quality and number of friends I have. Sure, I have a lot more people that I "know", but they are just that, people I know and will say hi when I see them on the streets.0 -
My bf is a nice guy without a doubt. He said he used to get friendzoned a fair bit, but he didn't mind. I suppose dumb girls friendzone nice guys. Or girls with low self esteem who want to punish themselves.0
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Or girls who just aren't interested in a particular guy?My bf is a nice guy without a doubt. He said he used to get friendzoned a fair bit, but he didn't mind. I suppose dumb girls friendzone nice guys. Or girls with low self esteem who want to punish themselves.
I'm not dumb and my self-esteem is fine, but I have several male friends I am not attracted to. Sometimes there isn't chemistry. Being nice doesn't make you physically attractive to someone.0 -
Or girls who just aren't interested in a particular guy?My bf is a nice guy without a doubt. He said he used to get friendzoned a fair bit, but he didn't mind. I suppose dumb girls friendzone nice guys. Or girls with low self esteem who want to punish themselves.
I'm not dumb and my self-esteem is fine, but I have several male friends I am not attracted to. Sometimes there isn't chemistry. Being nice doesn't make you physically attractive to someone.
^^ This0 -
I can't speak for all women, but I have no time for guys that are NOT "nice guys". I never was attracted to the bad boy thing. If he's a control freak, a jerk, a macho *kitten*, egotistical, thinks he's god's gift to women, or that he can throw around whatever power he has, then for me, he's nothing.0
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Or girls who just aren't interested in a particular guy?My bf is a nice guy without a doubt. He said he used to get friendzoned a fair bit, but he didn't mind. I suppose dumb girls friendzone nice guys. Or girls with low self esteem who want to punish themselves.
I'm not dumb and my self-esteem is fine, but I have several male friends I am not attracted to. Sometimes there isn't chemistry. Being nice doesn't make you physically attractive to someone.
I suppose what I really meant to say was to friend zone a nice guy in favour of an arsehole. I have plenty of nice guy friends and obviously I don't fancy them all.0 -
I can't speak for all women, but I have no time for guys that are NOT "nice guys". I never was attracted to the bad boy thing. If he's a control freak, a jerk, a macho *kitten*, egotistical, thinks he's god's gift to women, or that he can throw around whatever power he has, then for me, he's nothing.
^this exactly0 -
I always feel bad for friend zoning nice guys, but I'm just not into them. I want someone who challenges me and takes control and I've never met a "nice guy" with those qualities.0
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I always feel bad for friend zoning nice guys, but I'm just not into them. I want someone who challenges me and takes control and I've never met a "nice guy" with those qualities.
You should never feel bad for not wanting a relationship with someone. However, this is the heart of the problem with the "Nice Guy," he makes women feel like **** because they don't want him, and that makes him an *kitten*. I'm lucky in that my husband is nice, respectful, and challenging. They exist. :flowerforyou:0 -
I always feel bad for friend zoning nice guys, but I'm just not into them. I want someone who challenges me and takes control and I've never met a "nice guy" with those qualities.
You should never feel bad for not wanting a relationship with someone. However, this is the heart of the problem with the "Nice Guy," he makes women feel like **** because they don't want him, and that makes him an *kitten*. I'm lucky in that my husband is nice, respectful, and challenging. They exist. :flowerforyou:
Just want to +1 one this, no one should feel guilty because they aren't interested in someone. I think it's worse to date someone and string them along just because you don't want to hurt their feelings, eventually it just makes the problem worse and everyone involved is miserable.
Also, my man is extremely nice to me, respectful of me, and treats me like his princess. He also has a very choleric personality and is extremely direct, so other people might think he's an *kitten* but he's an excellent person as a partner and a real wolf professionally.
I have an ex that other people would have called a "nice guy" and publicly he was, but he was a huge jerk at home, had no respect for me, drank too much and was emotionally abusive. People aren't always what they seem!0 -
But you're still overlooking the fact that the woman who "friend-zoned" the nice guy WASN'T INTERESTED IN HIM. It is "in favor of" the other guy. It's because she was NOT ATTRACTED TO the "nice guy." If she had been, she wouldn't have chosen the other one.
Or girls who just aren't interested in a particular guy?My bf is a nice guy without a doubt. He said he used to get friendzoned a fair bit, but he didn't mind. I suppose dumb girls friendzone nice guys. Or girls with low self esteem who want to punish themselves.
I'm not dumb and my self-esteem is fine, but I have several male friends I am not attracted to. Sometimes there isn't chemistry. Being nice doesn't make you physically attractive to someone.
I suppose what I really meant to say was to friend zone a nice guy in favour of an arsehole. I have plenty of nice guy friends and obviously I don't fancy them all.
Geez.0 -
Discussions like this make me so happy to be in a 30 year long committed relationship :-)0
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Discussions like this make me so happy to be in a 30 year long committed relationship :-)
I was thinking the same thing....about my 14 year marriage.0 -
For me, its not about being "nice". I desire a guy who is respectful, who has a good soul, a good heart, a man who has integrity, and who looks after people.
Like if something seriously bad happened (like 9-11 for example) I don't want him to be pushing people out the way and stepping on kids just to save himself. I would want him to be helping people and saving people. He has to be smart because I don't want him to die saving them but bravery is key. I don't want a man to rescue me, I just want a man who would stick beside me no matter what curve balls life throws at us. Life is so unexpected so I need someone who has a good heart and who is strong so we can make it through this together.
So for your answer, I don't turn down nice guys, I like them. Tbh, I would date a "SpongeBob", I would be honored. However, I turn down ugly guys. Maybe the guy problem isn't that he's too nice but maybe he's just ugly.0 -
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LMAO - this is the problem with the 'nice guy' they set out to be a 'nice guy'.
You should get yourself on track and care mainly only about yourself in the initial dating process- giving her tons of attention and being all super 'nice' - it is shallow and reeks of desperateness.
I think real relationships form naturally - there is no nice or mean guys, there are individuals who are sometimes nice, sometimes grumpy, sometimes witty, sometimes obnoxious - just be the best version of you, you can be and smile often.0 -
Nice guys don't feel entitled to date women simply for being nice.0
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