GF issues w/ the gym/ fitness
Tedebearduff
Posts: 1,155 Member
So I need advice / opinions, I figured why not post something here since I don’t know anyone on this thing in real life so here we go.
What’s up with you girls and not liking the fact that people who enjoy working out spend allot of time in the gym. Like this is common amongst every girl I have seen lately. You guys seem to love the results however you have an issue with the gym.
My current gf has “huge” issues with me working out….. realize I go to the gym in the morning (up around 4:30am arrive at 5:30-6:00am)so it does not affect our personal life or time together as we don’t even live together .I also don’t ever say “I have to go to bed have the gym in the morning”, I just go with lack of sleep instead. IE today I got 2 hours of sleep maybe 2.5hrs
My “weird eating habits”…. her and I are both have gluten allergies….Why is it weird that I eat 2 chicken breasts instead of 1?? I don’t get it…. Her whole family has this hang up and I don’t know where the heck it came from, I’m sure it has something to do with her saying something about gluten, but she has the same problem… idk.
The fact that I don’t drink alcohol even though I explained I don’t drink because alcoholism runs in my family(Fathers side) and that is my reasoning to never drinking. Like it makes sense, I don’t smoke crack either … maybe I should have some of that if it becomes socially acceptable ? I don’t care when or if she drinks … I could understand it if I made comments but I don’t give a ****. All my friends drink, I go to bars with them all the time … what’s the issue you get a free cab every weekend cause I don’t drink. . .
So yeah if you got around to reading all of that, I look forward to some opinions of some men who’ve been in the same situation and some woman who have an issue with this and why. To be clear I have asked her what her issue is with me being into fitness, nutrition and the human anatomy and she just says “I don’t know”, I’ve never preached it once to her or anyone. I actually hate the attention I get because of my weight loss, one day you’ll get there when for the 100000000 time someone asks you what “diet” are you on, when you just eat healthy.
Oh and make note… I don’t talk about what I do at the gym with her at all, it’s “did you go to the gym today?” Me: Yup…. Conversation changed to something else. I did not know her before when I was bigger, however she is aware of my weight loss, she has also lost 90lbs however she just changed eating habits and did a bit of spinning.
Thanks for reading,
Brad
What’s up with you girls and not liking the fact that people who enjoy working out spend allot of time in the gym. Like this is common amongst every girl I have seen lately. You guys seem to love the results however you have an issue with the gym.
My current gf has “huge” issues with me working out….. realize I go to the gym in the morning (up around 4:30am arrive at 5:30-6:00am)so it does not affect our personal life or time together as we don’t even live together .I also don’t ever say “I have to go to bed have the gym in the morning”, I just go with lack of sleep instead. IE today I got 2 hours of sleep maybe 2.5hrs
My “weird eating habits”…. her and I are both have gluten allergies….Why is it weird that I eat 2 chicken breasts instead of 1?? I don’t get it…. Her whole family has this hang up and I don’t know where the heck it came from, I’m sure it has something to do with her saying something about gluten, but she has the same problem… idk.
The fact that I don’t drink alcohol even though I explained I don’t drink because alcoholism runs in my family(Fathers side) and that is my reasoning to never drinking. Like it makes sense, I don’t smoke crack either … maybe I should have some of that if it becomes socially acceptable ? I don’t care when or if she drinks … I could understand it if I made comments but I don’t give a ****. All my friends drink, I go to bars with them all the time … what’s the issue you get a free cab every weekend cause I don’t drink. . .
So yeah if you got around to reading all of that, I look forward to some opinions of some men who’ve been in the same situation and some woman who have an issue with this and why. To be clear I have asked her what her issue is with me being into fitness, nutrition and the human anatomy and she just says “I don’t know”, I’ve never preached it once to her or anyone. I actually hate the attention I get because of my weight loss, one day you’ll get there when for the 100000000 time someone asks you what “diet” are you on, when you just eat healthy.
Oh and make note… I don’t talk about what I do at the gym with her at all, it’s “did you go to the gym today?” Me: Yup…. Conversation changed to something else. I did not know her before when I was bigger, however she is aware of my weight loss, she has also lost 90lbs however she just changed eating habits and did a bit of spinning.
Thanks for reading,
Brad
0
Replies
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That's not girls... That's your girl.
Just break up.
/thread.0 -
That's not girls... That's your girl.
Just break up.
/thread.
QFT0 -
well for me,, i want my girlfriend to do calorie counting and exercise too but i do my best,, she is not interested and too lazy about calorie counting and exercise,,
thats why i go solo in the gym or outdoor exercise,, and im still happy that she supports me,,motivates me,,etc,, but sometimes negative is activated on my gf like having a monthly period mood,, like exercise again? ur wasting ur time,money, tired and pain,, u will not lose weight anyway or we will die someday,, i just like,, wtf?,, is that u ? is the ghost of the troll warlord is inside u? ,, ahahaha,,,,,0 -
I feel that I'm not old enough to make a comment here as I don't have enough experience in relationships (at all!) but here goes nothing.
I think she may not like the attention you'd be getting at the gym... She may be jealous for god knows what reason.. Perhaps you can ask her if she wants to come along with you? Girls can get really insecure about themselves at times, as I'm sure you know.
And as for the chicken breast issue, so what? Eat whatever you want- it's a personal choice. It's not like you're eating two boxes of cupcakes or something. And the alcoholism- they should know better than to pressure you. Kudos to you for not giving in- that is really something to admire.
Hope everything takes a turn for the better. If not, there's always something better in store for you in life. Take care. :flowerforyou:0 -
If it were someone that truly cared about you she would love all things about you regardless.0
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You didn't really say what issues she had... just that she had issues. Maybe she's just a little insecure after a 90lb weight loss? Maybe she still thinks herself as the 'fat girl'. Maybe she thinks she doesn't deserve a boyfriend who takes care of himself. Maybe this is making her act wierd.0
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IDK seems a bit insecure or something...I wouldnt want the issues you'll have 5 or 10 years down the line in this relationship. Good luck
Oh one more thought how many hours a week are you spending in the gym if that is your second home and she only gets a small portion of your time that might be another issue?0 -
That's not girls... That's your girl.
Just break up.
/thread.
Pretty much.If it were someone that truly cared about you she would love all things about you regardless.
Disagree. Caring about someone does not mean you have to love everything they do. That said, I couldn't date someone who was constantly on my back about my fitness and dietary habits. Training is not a hobby for me. It is a very, very important part of my life. So I don't just need you to accept it; I want you to support me in it. That means you don't ask me to skip training sessions or to get less sleep because you want to go out. It also means you don't ask me to eat crap food with you all the time because your family finds it annoying that I don't eat what they eat. If you can't do that, I'm not the woman for you. Period.
So, OP, you need to:
1) decide what's more important to you between your workouts/diet and your girlfriend
2) take a firm stand one way or the other
3) stop blaming "you girls" for the crap YOUR girl pulls0 -
Your girlfriend sounds ridiculously controlling. DO NOT MARRY HER! you've been warned. My husband is very athletic, and goes to the gym. I like that we both set a good example to our children when it comes to fitness. With that said I do not care or pay attention to what he eats or drinks. Aint nobody got time for that!0
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So, OP, you need to:
1) decide what's more important to you between your workouts/diet and your girlfriend
2) take a firm stand one way or the other
3) stop blaming "you girls" for the crap YOUR girl pulls
My thoughts exactly.0 -
I had the same problem before but reversed as it was my boyfriend that had the issues with me running/working out. I never got it either. But I did get out of it because ultimately we didn't share the same common love. When it first started happening, I didn't thiink it would be a big deal, but since running is a huge passion in my life, him not supporting it really hurt me. Ultimately leading to us finally breaking up.
Its not a fun thing to go through. Seems like if you make sacrafices to wake up before the crack of dawn to get your workout done and over with, they would admire your motivation and your unselfishness to NOT let it effect your personal life.
Hope it gets better for you!0 -
Some people will never understand dedication to a healthy lifestyle. For me, that'd be a deal breaker. If she is worth it to you, have an open conversation about it and let her know that this is part of who you are and it's not going to change, even 20 years down the road. She may be thinking that this is something you'll drop eventually, but it's not.
Sorry about the situation, I have friends that don't understand the healthy lifestyle I have or why I workout so much ( and that I ENJOY doing it), or the food choices I make, so I kind of understand. Fortunately my BF is just like me. I don't think I would be dating him if he wasn't.0 -
First, your girlfriend is like this, not all women.
Second, my initial thought is that it's insecurity. She thinks you're going to get more fit, get more attention from other women and leave her.0 -
You're meeting the wrong girls...0
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That's not girls... That's your girl.
Just break up.
/thread.
QFT
Yep. Except, maybe not the break up part. That's up to you.
But, seriously, men don't have the monopoly on fitness. I'm up every day at 5am to go kill it at CrossFit. And sometimes I run at night too. Generalizations are bad things...0 -
She's insecure0
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My OH isn't a gym goer but he does Ultra distance (longer than marathon distance) fell races, and multi-stage mountain bike races that can go for numerous days. I knew that when I met him. I love the way he committs himself to stuff and always support his training, I sherpa at races etc. He is also very good at fitting his training around the rest of our life, by getting up early and by the time I've had breakfast he's coming back from a 3 hour run.
I just don't think you've met the right person. :flowerforyou:0 -
I realized that all the females I dated that hated I spent a lot of time at the gym, didn't workout. They had nice boobs, but didn't work out.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
She probably will never truly understand unless she becomes a 'gym person' herself. Back in the day, I never understood people's obsession with exercise and going to the gym. But these days I make tons of sacrifices to make sure I get my workouts in. Once I got into this mind-set, it all made sense. Luckily my husband is the same way and would never dream of complaining that I get home late at night because I was at the gym.0
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Not a fan of the broad generalizations. Nobody talks me out of going to the gym. Take it or leave it. I'm with Casey on this one. I don't think i could be with someone that doesn't have similar goals as me because they just don't understand how important it is to me.0
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That's not girls... That's your girl.
Just break up.
/thread.0 -
Quit going to the gym, get fat, gf dumps you for a fit guy...No, wait...0
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Good lord, how old are you? This sounds like high school bull****.0
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You need a new GF because not all women are insecure and controlling of their BF and jealous of their time in the gym. I'd suggest trying to find someone that shares some common interests-you'll be better off for it.0
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I could be wrong, but maybe she's insecure. It's good to get an "outside perspective" as there wouldn't be any bias based on knowing your gf personally, but at the same time - any advice would be theoretical because of not knowing her, the history between you two, etc.
Maybe she is insecure about her body and just isn't motivated like you are to change it so she feels the need to defend her behavior by challenging yours.
Maybe she is insecure about your relationship and wonders if you might be getting attention from women at the gym.
Maybe she likes where you're at physically and doesn't want to accept that you're still working on making more progress and she doesn't want to come right out and tell you that she wants you to cool it on your diet and exercise.
Maybe she's just not a supportive person.
I watched a show recently, narrarated by Morgan Freeman (lol surprise) but it talked about the human mind, It explains how when monitoring brain activity of a person while you tell them statistics/possibilities of them experiencing certain things in life IE: cancer, heart attack, etc - they don't have a realistic understanding of the chance that this could happen to them. Their brain shows little activity. Positive information/statistics will cause an excessive amount of brain activity (I feel like I'm rambling but I promise I'm going somewhere with this) - After they explain that, they switch over to how people's brain will react to the same information when it's regarding someone else. More often than not, when its good news/bad news about a family member, loved one - they have a positive outlook/reaction/perspective on the circumstance, but that's not always the case. If it's stranger they have a pessamistic outlook on their circumstance. Maybe she just has a negative attitude about your positive circumstance and progress - wow that was a lot blah blah blah! Anyway - maybe you can subtly pitch some of that her way and see how she reacts or consider if any of that might apply to your situation with the gf. Good luck!!
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First, your girlfriend is like this, not all women.
Second, my initial thought is that it's insecurity. She thinks you're going to get more fit, get more attention from other women and leave her.
QFT0 -
You have probably just gotten unlucky. Unless you are dating hundreds of women, you probably don't really have a statistically valid sample . . . Maybe just the women in your area, or school, or profession, or ???Like this is common amongst every girl I have seen lately.0 -
Next time, find a gf who wants to go the gym and workout just as much as you do.0
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First of all, you never stated what her problem is. Second, not all women are like that. If you encounter woman after woman like that, then it is you who are drawn to women like that. Maybe you should start telling her about what you do at the gym. Since you don't, she might think you are up to something by not discussing it. Also, do you invite her to come along? If not, that could feed into her insecurity. She is a former fat girl and probably has some self esteem issues. When she says "she doesn't know," she does. She doesn't want to tell you what they are for fear that you will reject her or call her insecure.0
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I think a lot of communication is needed for this situation.
Oh and I am a girl and I wish my bf would be dedicated to his health :frown:0
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