Asked for help, REFUSED! *rant*

Options
1246714

Replies

  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
    Options
    Thanks for the informed comment size10again. Are you a professional in this area?

    I guess they must be going off that tier thing. And that is what frustrates me, I dont want special medical help, I want that teit lifestyley, public health stuff. Apart from being more positive, it is also more sustainable because it gives real long term strategies for life, not just acute medical care. I really feel this approach would be best for me.

    I don't think people are out to get me, promise, I just think I am being prevented from accessing services I feel I could really benefit from.

    Is it possible that you may actually need acute medical care so you are able to make sustainable changes and have them be a part of your long term strategies?

    I'm not a doctor but I think long term approach is better. My immeidate health is actually OK, it is the future I worry about, which is why I feel I need a sustainable life long appraoch.

    rml_16, you are being presumptious and unfair. That's OK (I will just skim over it)

    Thanks to the few people above me who give really helpful, understanding yet honest answers, I really value that.
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
    Options
    I dont want special medical help

    It's not a matter of what you want or don't want. It's what you need. You need to be on a doctor supervised diet and light exercise program. There are factors at play that a basic lifestyle group cannot safely address.

    Just because you are consulting a doctor does not automatically mean you have to go for lap band surgery, if that's your concern. You can state categorically that you do not want surgical intervention.

    After a couple of years on a properly supervised diet and exercise plan, you'll be in good enough shape to drop into a more conventional support group. And they will be able to help you from there.
  • Michelle_dirtracer
    Options
    It is their organization and if those are their rules, they have to go by them. It seems maybe with your BMI at 60 they are afraid to offer advice or give workout info because they are not qualified to instruct severely obese people and afraid they may hurt you. I mean no harm by that just being honest.
  • tyb03
    tyb03 Posts: 52 Member
    Options
    My initial reaction would be to feel offended, as well. But then again, as others have stated it may be a combination of liability, keeping up with the class, etc. Their recommendation to go to the hospital, no I wouldn't be too pleased with that response either. There are other groups and organizations out there. You just have to do some research. And actually, some are run through hospitals so it's something to check into regardless of your attitude towards it.
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
    Options
    I don't need sarcastic comments about yachts or whatever, seriously.

    You're determined to be idignant about this instead of trying to understand the reasoning.


    ^ Yup.
    It is known.

    Seriously, you bring nothing to this conversation at all. Go away and let the adults talk, I am trying to get advice from sensible people here.
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
    Options
    I'm sure their recommendation to seek help at the hospital was purely due to liability issues. Try not to take it personally.

    This. Their INSURANCE likely set the rules, and they should have explained to you that their liability is extremely limited when it comes to morbid obesity. You do need help, but at such a massive BMI you need medical help beyond the scope of which they can offer.
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
    Options
    Thanks for the informed comment size10again. Are you a professional in this area?

    I guess they must be going off that tier thing. And that is what frustrates me, I dont want special medical help, I want that teit lifestyley, public health stuff. Apart from being more positive, it is also more sustainable because it gives real long term strategies for life, not just acute medical care. I really feel this approach would be best for me.

    I don't think people are out to get me, promise, I just think I am being prevented from accessing services I feel I could really benefit from.

    A tier 3/4 service will give you all the lifestyle advice as well as many other things that you may not get from the group such as specialist assessments regarding diabetes and heart health etc.

    This is the service spec for a Tier 2 service (which from the sounds of it I very much suspect you went to see), and somewhere in there it'll probably say what the cut off point is for people for whom the interventions are best suited. So it's not the the staff don't want you or rejected you, I think they just feel that they're not cut out to deal with needs that may exceed that spec.

    https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/142723/Weight_Management_Service_Spec_FINAL_with_IRB.pdf

    Yes I was involved with the Obesity Care Pathway in my local area, but I was in Wales then and thinds work slightly differently as Health is devolved to the Welsh Assembly Government, but much is very similar to England.

    http://www.wales.nhs.uk/sitesplus/888/page/52135

    So where I work Our tiers were:

    Level 1: Community based prevention and early intervention (self care)
    Level 2: Community and primary care weight management services
    Level 3: Specialist multi disciplinary team weight management services
    Level 4: Specialist medical and surgical services.

    I reckon from what the member of staff said to you, your Tier 3 service is based in a clinical / hospital setting. That's probably because they will need to have access to all kinds of clever machinery that you can't get into a community centre.

    Please don't be offended by being told you need the team "the next floor up" :wink: it's all in the interest of you getting the best possible service for you. Do yourself a favour and check them out. :flowerforyou:
  • bellesouth18
    bellesouth18 Posts: 1,077 Member
    Options
    At your current BMI, you are a health risk to yourself. Do you workout now? You don't need a gym. Just make your own exercise routine and stick with it--wall push ups, walking, using hand weights (pantry items are a good substitute), leg raises sitting in a chair, moving to music, etc. Monitor your food intake. And when your BMI is at a low enough level and you're hopefully injury free and still healthy, go back to the place and ask again.

    I'm 5' tall. I used to weigh 255. My BMI was about 52%. It's now around 37%. I'm down to 194 with around 125 my ultimate goal--I'm almost half way there! I just started watching my intake and moving more. Now I'm able to do more physical activities. You don't need a fancy gym to do it.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    Options
    Is it not fair because they helped you reach a BMI of 61 and now it's their responsibility to help you get it under control? It's not fair because you, personally, feel that it's not fair because now you want to do something and they won't "let" you? It's not fair because you don't like your other options, so who cares what their insurance costs are, their guidelines are, what they are set up to handle and who they have their plans designed to accommodate....nope, none of that matters because you want this and since you can't have this...it's just not fair? It's not fair because, somehow, you're exempt from other people's rules just because you think you should be?

    Please, help me understand how this is not fair. Help me understand how you seem to be entitled to a program, one in which you apparently don't qualify, just because you think you should be.

    No, i do not think it is their responsibility, it is mine. And the way in which I am taking responsibilty is, among other reasons, seeking helfpul advice and support. I think it is unfair because i beleive it would help me, and also that I would not harm the group (i am sure I could in fact be as valuable member as all the others), so there seems not very good reasosn to exclude me, is my view.

    My comment aboutthe yacht means, I don't need sarcasm and nastiness, like I wasn't looking for that at all. Can't stop you doing it, but it brings nothing at all to the conversation, all I can do it ignore it, you wasted your own time even typing it.

    Apparently not...you commented.

    Besides, all we hear from you is "I" this or "me" that. You have no concept of what other people want or need. The program wasn't designed for you, there are other options, pick one of those. Your ticker shows you lost a decent amount of weight already, is what you're doing not working anymore?

    Maybe a hospital plan is what you need, maybe there is an outpatient plan where you will get help with nutrition planning and exercise, maybe they will monitor your overall health as you make progress and then make suggestions for changes if they are needed. Have you even considered looking into the hospital option? Do you know all they offer at the hospital?

    You don't "need" sarcastic comments, but you also don't need people to coddle you and tell you that you have every right to be upset when, in fact, you don't. You asked for help, you don't meet their criteria for offering you help, end of story. It happens every single day, in every country around the world, for almost every situation. You are no different. Leave your pity party, step off your soapbox, dismount your high horse and go find a program that you qualify for and that will be beneficial for you.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    I don't need sarcastic comments about yachts or whatever, seriously.

    You're determined to be idignant about this instead of trying to understand the reasoning.


    ^ Yup.
    It is known.

    Seriously, you bring nothing to this conversation at all. Go away and let the adults talk, I am trying to get advice from sensible people here.
    :flowerforyou:

    I offered the same advice and explanation as everyone else. You dismissed it all in anger and indignation.

    The truth is difficult to take. Your weight has gotten so out of control that it is a liability for a weight loss organization outside of a hospital to help you. Being angry at the organization isn't going to fix the problem. It's misplaced.
  • Doodlewhopper
    Doodlewhopper Posts: 1,018 Member
    Options
    I suggest you go back for more info, maybe the reasoning is sound - ask and you just might change your mind about this rule being unfair.

    Also ask what the BMI limit is, then ask if you can only participate in the nutrition & lifestyle portion until you reach the acceptable BMI.

    Never take no for an answer. Seek compromise. There are always alternatives.

    Tell em you know me.
  • Rei1988
    Rei1988 Posts: 412 Member
    Options
    I'd say **** 'em. You don't need people like that. Exercise with friends & people that will support you not degrade you. They could turned you down in a more considerate way.
  • CrazyCatLadylovescats
    Options
    If it were me....and it was the only thing in town other than the hospital, I would ask if I could just attend the healthy eating classes and not do the exercise part. You can get partial support that way, and when you get down to a lower BMI you can ask again about the exercise classes.

    Agreeing that liability is probably the issue here. Stupid lawyers!
  • postrockandcats
    postrockandcats Posts: 1,145 Member
    Options
    I dont want special medical help

    It's not a matter of what you want or don't want. It's what you need. You need to be on a doctor supervised diet and light exercise program. There are factors at play that a basic lifestyle group cannot safely address.

    Just because you are consulting a doctor does not automatically mean you have to go for lap band surgery, if that's your concern. You can state categorically that you do not want surgical intervention.

    After a couple of years on a properly supervised diet and exercise plan, you'll be in good enough shape to drop into a more conventional support group. And they will be able to help you from there.

    This x10!

    No one will make you get a weight loss surgery if you don't want it. But, because of how much you need to lose, a more specialized approach (a medical pro vs a group) is preferred. Sure, it sucks. Sure it feels like no one wants to help. But people do want to help, you just have to open the right door.
  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member
    Options
    WHY? Is it tht they think I am beyond 'normal' help and interventions? That I would not keep up wth the class, physically or mentally? What is it?

    You got it at the beginning.

    I'm sorry this is so painful. I would be humiliated and furious. But probably, yes, that's why.
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
    Options
    And remember even a Tier 4 service will be completely free of charge. The NHS is great like that. :wink:
  • marlynej
    marlynej Posts: 21 Member
    Options
    Have you ever heard of TOPS?
  • postrockandcats
    postrockandcats Posts: 1,145 Member
    Options
    And remember even a Tier 4 service will be completely free of charge. The NHS is great like that. :wink:

    Don't mind me, just coveting your national health care system...

    *fans self*
  • ICallBS
    ICallBS Posts: 12
    Options
    I agree it is most likely liability.

    I know you said you shouldn't have said a BMI of 40 was a minor problem but that was your first gut reaction and kind of proves their point, they are simply not equipped to handle higher BMI regardless of liability, training etc. they are different issues and do require different approaches, medical supervision etc.

    The only way you would have a legit complaint is if they had people of similar size and said no to just you.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    Options
    A BMI of 40 is not a 'minor weight problem.'