Asked for help, REFUSED! *rant*

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  • LJSmith1989
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    You have already taken out 62llb!! You got this. Keep it going!
  • Sassyallday
    Sassyallday Posts: 136 Member
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    I am SO sorry this happened to you. No one wants anything- - -especially rejection- - -to depend on their weight. And there's a really crazy irony in getting told by a weight loss group that you can't join. If there is a manager, director or other supervisory person and you want to know, you can ask for more specificity. But, really, do you want to hear it?

    My guess is that the group has guidelines in place to protect themselves in the event that someone hurts themselves. And, depending on what they are doing, that risk may increase with obesity. That said, I suggest you set that group aside and consider doing what they suggested- - -go to your doctor.

    YOUR doctor, based on an evaluation of YOUR body, can tell you what exercise is safe. And I promise, someone in your area can share it with you. There are free/low cost classes at public recreation centers. There are "meetup" groups online for various workouts. You can even create one and invite people to join. Just find out what you are really capable of doing so that you will fee confident approaching any new activity.

    All the best. This is a test. DON"T let this slap in the face stop you from moving forward with your fight to be fit!
  • Looking2blittler
    Looking2blittler Posts: 39 Member
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    O.K. First of all, I understand. My BMI is 44, which is not good either. Can I tell you that the reason I think they may be refusing to help you is that with a BMI of 61, you need help, but there are medical concerns with people that have BMI's as high as yours. With medical concerns come certain liabilities - which scares a lot of people. I'm sure that it is not because you are not good for the group, but more than likely just a scare of anything happening to you medically that might be a liability for the group.

    If it were me, and If you really think that this group can help you; I would first call the organization and explain it to them the same way that you explained it to us, that you are offended. You know you need help, which is why you sought their help in the first place. Even offer a compromise; if you are able to get a doctor's clearance before starting your fitness regime, do so, and let them know that you strongly want to do this.

    If none of that appeals to you, try your local YMCA if you have one. That is the gym I use. The one in my town has very good principles, excellent fitness staffing and they promote a healthy LIFESTYLE....NOT just losing weight. I joined the YMCA recently and they have been patient, understanding, motivating and helpful; but as great as all that is, the biggest part of this journey lies with YOU! Don't give up. Be determined. Don't throw in the towel- instead, pick up the towel and use it to wipe the sweat from your brow! :flowerforyou:
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
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    As you're in the UK I can explain this to you.

    The Adult Obesity Care Pathway of the NHS provides different services by different teams with different expertise to people at different stages of the care pathway. These services are provided in different settings... community centres, health care settings, hospitals, depending on what they are.

    Google your health board and their Obesity Care Pathway for your locality may be online.

    Services work like a pyramid, in what they refer to as "tiers", with the most generic services being at the bottom (tier 1) and suitable for the majority of people who may be just overweight, so you're looking at basic public health advice.... All the way to the top (usually tier 4) where there are specialist services for those who are morbidly or super morbidly obese. You are in that category.

    The staff were responsible in pointing you to the services that is targeted at your level of need, which in their view is beyond basic lifestyle management. Nobody is out to get you.

    This is what I was thinking. I agree with her. You said you have made progress so far and are at a stall. Maybe you could check in with that group and ask them if you got a note from you dr if they would allow you to join. They may want to make sure they aren't going to be help liable if you developed health issues or got hurt.
    Just a thought
    Best wishes, I hope you don't let this hold you back from the success you are working to achieve.
  • Sarahndipity30
    Sarahndipity30 Posts: 312 Member
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    There SHOULD be programs tailored to include ANYONE who wants to learn healthy nutritional eating habits, and I think it is UNFAIR of an organization to turn away ANYONE no matter their BMI or weight if they need the help. Especally if that organization is TAILORED to help those kinds of people in the first place. If it's a liability thing, have them sign a waiver that keeps the organization safe from anything until the individual reaches a healthy working BMI... JMHO

    As fo the OP, My suggestion is forget them. Take it in your own hands. Research, read books, check out online nutritional programs that tailor to you and stick to MFP!. Don't leave it up to someone else to change the way you think and eat. you can do it! Life hits us hard sometimes, even when we don't like it, but its all a matter of how you take the hits and whether you get back up. YOU CAN DO THIS! Don't give up, believe in yourself and know YOU ARE WORTH IT!

    Best wishes.
  • Athijade
    Athijade Posts: 3,266 Member
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    People are funny.

    Being turned away was most likely due to the SAFETY of the OP. Their health is in danger due to their weight. At that size there is a number of health and safety concerns that the OP has to deal with. The group told them that they were not able to handle these issues but that there were people who could. Period. They were not being mean or jerks. They were looking at what is best for the patient who approached them.

    Yes, it sucks to get told "we can't help you because you exceed our abilities due to your size", but better that then the OP not get the help THEY need. The OP needs specialized help, not random help.
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
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    And remember even a Tier 4 service will be completely free of charge. The NHS is great like that. :wink:

    Is a tier 4 only for surgical intervention? If you were at a teir 4 but decided that you didnt want surgery would there be other options?

    Why the H! cant the states do something like this...no instead we got Obummercare :grumble:

    Obummer care? I thought Obama care was a step towards more socialised medicine. It is out welfare state that enables free services like this, so I think Obama care will be a good thing. Not that I know much about it but it sounds great to me. But that is a whole other debate. Thank you everyone xxx
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
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    Called for an appointment about accessing a tier 3 thing... but not before sending a slightly curt email to first place, saying 'ok fine, i look forward to seeing you in the near future when my bmi is below 40.'

    he he, just couldnt resist! I'll show them.
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
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    And remember even a Tier 4 service will be completely free of charge. The NHS is great like that. :wink:

    Is a tier 4 only for surgical intervention? If you were at a teir 4 but decided that you didnt want surgery would there be other options?

    Why the H! cant the states do something like this...no instead we got Obummercare :grumble:

    Obummer care? I thought Obama care was a step towards more socialised medicine. It is out welfare state that enables free services like this, so I think Obama care will be a good thing. Not that I know much about it but it sounds great to me. But that is a whole other debate. Thank you everyone xxx

    It's actually a mandate to purchase private health insurance. It's about as far from socialism as you can get. As an Englishman living in the US, I laugh mightily when I hear people describing the affordable care act as socialism.
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
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    Called for an appointment about accessing a tier 3 thing... but not before sending a slightly curt email to first place, saying 'ok fine, i look forward to seeing you in the near future when my bmi is below 40.'

    he he, just couldnt resist. I'll show them.
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
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    Called for an appointment about accessing a tier 3 thing... but not before sending a slightly curt email to first place, saying 'ok fine, i look forward to seeing you in the near future when my bmi is below 40.'

    he he, just couldnt resist. I'll show them.

    Glad you called.

    Also you'll get all you need from your level 3 service so there should be no need for you to access level 2 later... only unless you wanted to skip in and say "remember me?" :wink:
  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member
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    There SHOULD be programs tailored to include ANYONE who wants to learn healthy nutritional eating habits,

    If they include ANYONE, then they aren't tailored. They're generalized.
  • str8bowbabe
    str8bowbabe Posts: 712 Member
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    Hello,
    I am trying to lose weight but have found my efforts stalling a lot, like my progress as ground to a halt, and I have not been able to lose in some months. So, I wanted to get things back on track, and I heard about a local organisation that offers fun social group exercise stuff, and also lessons about healthy eating, cooking, lifestyle etc. I thought that this sounded a good thing to get involved in, and a nice friendly way to get help with other people.So I enquired about it.

    I was told I could NOT be involved :( My BMI is 61, far over their 'top' threshold of 40. Therefore they say they can't help and that I can only gethelp from the HOSPITAL!! I am very angry and upset about this!! I do not want to have to go to the hosptial to get all clinical help like I was an invalid, and also, I don't LIKE hospitals, who does??? It was not what I was after at all- as I say, I was seeking a nice fun informal way to get help- about working towards a better lifestyle, not about being treated as a patient. I think I would benefit much more from the class than hospital. Am I so much of a 'special needs' fatty that the group would be better off without me??

    It annoys me that there is a group to help ppl about weight, but they only want to help people with a minor wieght problem. It just upsets me thinking WHY? Is it tht they think I am beyond 'normal' help and interventions? that I wouldbe bad for the group? That I would not keep up wth the class, physically or mentally? What is it?

    Ugh, sorry for the rant, just so annoyed!!

    Wow!!! No offense but this is discrimination and it makes me very upset. You are willing and able yet they refuse to allow you in? Who do they think they are? Me...I would get a news crew involved in this one and get that rule changed but fast. Good luck!
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
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    Wow!!! No offense but this is discrimination and it makes me very upset. You are willing and able yet they refuse to allow you in? Who do they think they are? Me...I would get a news crew involved in this one and get that rule changed but fast. Good luck!

    Have you read back? At all...?
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
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    Ha ha, I kinda do at least show up one day and say remember me? Not that they probably will, or care if they do, but it make me feel good, haha.

    Yeeeah, I was annoyed but I am not one to sue or make a huge fuss and get the press etc. I just ranting on here lol
  • Athijade
    Athijade Posts: 3,266 Member
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    Hello,
    I am trying to lose weight but have found my efforts stalling a lot, like my progress as ground to a halt, and I have not been able to lose in some months. So, I wanted to get things back on track, and I heard about a local organisation that offers fun social group exercise stuff, and also lessons about healthy eating, cooking, lifestyle etc. I thought that this sounded a good thing to get involved in, and a nice friendly way to get help with other people.So I enquired about it.

    I was told I could NOT be involved :( My BMI is 61, far over their 'top' threshold of 40. Therefore they say they can't help and that I can only gethelp from the HOSPITAL!! I am very angry and upset about this!! I do not want to have to go to the hosptial to get all clinical help like I was an invalid, and also, I don't LIKE hospitals, who does??? It was not what I was after at all- as I say, I was seeking a nice fun informal way to get help- about working towards a better lifestyle, not about being treated as a patient. I think I would benefit much more from the class than hospital. Am I so much of a 'special needs' fatty that the group would be better off without me??

    It annoys me that there is a group to help ppl about weight, but they only want to help people with a minor wieght problem. It just upsets me thinking WHY? Is it tht they think I am beyond 'normal' help and interventions? that I wouldbe bad for the group? That I would not keep up wth the class, physically or mentally? What is it?

    Ugh, sorry for the rant, just so annoyed!!

    Wow!!! No offense but this is discrimination and it makes me very upset. You are willing and able yet they refuse to allow you in? Who do they think they are? Me...I would get a news crew involved in this one and get that rule changed but fast. Good luck!

    You should really read the thread before posting...
  • janimei
    janimei Posts: 105 Member
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    I would sign up for the hospital program, see what it's like, ask what my options are if I don't like it, and then get upset if warranted.
    I think you've closed your mind to the hospital program without giving it a chance. It may not help you--but it may. It may provide group support and nutrition discussions found in the other group--if it doesn't, ask how you can get that added to the program.
  • RoadsterGirlie
    RoadsterGirlie Posts: 1,195 Member
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    With a BMI of 61, you are a liability.

    As others have pointed out, even a BMI of 40 isn't just a minor weight problem.

    They are correct - you should be under doctor supervision. That's not to say the only place you can go is the hospital to get some exercise, but you definitely need to see your doctor.
  • NonnyMary
    NonnyMary Posts: 982 Member
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    Ha ha, I kinda do at least show up one day and say remember me? Not that they probably will, or care if they do, but it make me feel good, haha.

    Yeeeah, I was annoyed but I am not one to sue or make a huge fuss and get the press etc. I just ranting on here lol

    Hey maybe that was a good thing they denied you.. Because it led you to find something BETTER here with what the poster above recommended the 3 tier thing.

    so it worked out after all :) something better for you!
  • HelenTheZ
    HelenTheZ Posts: 42 Member
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    There is a lot of prejudice against very overweight people. Somehow, people feel free to make moral judgments about prople because of their size. In my judgment, body weight and composition are morally neutral.

    The group you contacted may very well gear their workouts to people within a certain weight range. I know that right now, I cannot keep up with a boot camp type workout, or a hardcore cardio routine, but it isn't because I'm inferior. It's because I'm not physically ready to do thise types of exercises yet. At some point, I will be.

    You might be able to get some help from a weight loss support group in your area, or from a nutritionist experienced in dealing with people who have a lot of weight to lose. You might even be able to start an informal group on your own!

    Good luck to you.