"Why are you single?"

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Replies

  • Howdoyoufeeltoday
    Howdoyoufeeltoday Posts: 481 Member
    I'm single so I can look at profile pictures of good looking men on fitness sites and not feel bad about it!! :noway:

    my aunt keeps asking me when I'm gonna find a boyfriend. It's annoying and I usually just give stupid, sarcastic answers. Cause let's face it, when someone asks you that question they don't want to hear you say "When I get over my trust issues" or "i'm single cause I have a fear of commitment and the whole dating process just gets on my nerves"....that makes for awkward dinner atmosphere.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    I got asked "why, are at your age, have you never been married". I replied "Marriage offers no benefits to the male species." Yea, she was mad LOL

    Only while you're young, it's different later. For women it sucks way more pretty much all the way through, but does help around the costs of reproduction etc.

    haha, yeah, why am i single?
  • ryall70
    ryall70 Posts: 519 Member
    I'm single because my standards are wayyy too high and I'm a pretty busy person.

    Great answer!!! I keep adding new standards after each attempt.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    Does anyone remember the movie "Singles" when one of the characters had trimmed her list of standards for a boyfriend down to "a guy who says bless you when I sneeze?" Lol saying "bless you" is actually a pretty big deal to me as we'll.
  • I'm single because my standards are wayyy too high and I'm a pretty busy person.


    Exactly! It will happen when it happens, it should feel natural, the ones who constantly ask themselves why they're single and hunt are the ones who end up with someone they wish they never did in the first place

    Besides, I work 6 days a week and also studying full time for an MBA, ain't nobody got time for that!
  • RN514
    RN514 Posts: 1,107 Member
    Does anyone remember the movie "Singles" when one of the characters had trimmed her list of standards for a boyfriend down to "a guy who says bless you when I sneeze?" Lol saying "bless you" is actually a pretty big deal to me as we'll.

    Haha! Valid point. Basic manners are a definite plus!
  • asimmons221
    asimmons221 Posts: 294 Member

    Not single, but I don't see how that question is rude. It's gonna come up eventually anyways, when it comes up is irrelevant. If the answer is damaging to the possibility of a future relationship it's not going to get better with time. If it's not damaging to the relationship then what's the argument?

    Because maybe the person you're asking isn't comfortable giving a glib, one-line "because I'm awesome" response. Because maybe it's NOYDB. I just think conversation should be light in the beginning, not straight to the gut shot.

    I can understand it should be light in the beginning, but I don't know why it's considered a gut shot. I guess it's the way the question is viewed, the way I seem to view it is in a completely non-criticizing way. Some guys even ask it in more of a compliment, though it's rhetorical.

    Personally, I see nothing wrong with someone being single for how ever long they chose, I just don't see asking it as an insult, but I guess I can understand that some people rather not be asked that question early on.
  • asimmons221
    asimmons221 Posts: 294 Member
    Not single, but I don't see how that question is rude. It's gonna come up eventually anyways, when it comes up is irrelevant. If the answer is damaging to the possibility of a future relationship it's not going to get better with time. If it's not damaging to the relationship then what's the argument?
    It's kinda rude as most of the time it's like asking "What's wrong with you, why nobody wants you?" It's an awkward question for a first date, speed or not.

    Oh, and I think I'll start answering "Cause I'm a *kitten*", like question, like answer. Me likes.

    If you see it as an insult, sure.
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    I think it really depends on how it's phrased. I've had outstanding dates where a guy has said "How is it possible that you're available?" or something to that effect. It's still asking the same thing, but in a totally flattering way.

    And really, I think people who are single (for the most part) are simply not willing to settle. I know I'm not.
  • BluejayNY
    BluejayNY Posts: 301 Member
    Because I did not marry who I thought I did. It just wasn't right from the very beginning. I am also single because not ready to get back into dating yet.

    That would be the non TMI answer that will not include the many complex issues regarding my marriage.

    No one has asked me that question so far. I guess I assume I may have married and stayed married had I married someone else. While I am not a perfect person, I do not think I am unworthy of love and I think I am capable of being a good wife to someone someday. I am still extremely devoted and do not believe in divorce except under extreme circumstances.
  • I pretty much always give the same answer:

    "That's a damn good question!"

    And then we laugh and move on.

    Good answer or bad answer I'm not too sure.....but it doesn't matter because I don't much care :laugh: :bigsmile: :drinker:
  • krazyforyou
    krazyforyou Posts: 1,428 Member
    I have trust issues. My father was a prick. I dont deserve it. Pick one.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,230 Member
    "Because much like the praying mantis, I involuntarily rip the head off my mate at the point of orgasm"

    Ask a silly invasive question, get a smart-assed and irreverant answer.
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  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
    Because being alone is better?

    I strongly disagree with that as a married person, though it may be true for you. I don't feel lonely anymore since I got married. I don't have to deal with that pain anymore and it was excruciating. My depression has decreased so much since I got married. I feel comfortable with myself and life. I am happy to be alive. I always have someone to talk to about the things that are important to me. I have someone to focus on me and love me. I have a wonderful son who brings so much joy to my life.

    I am not made to be single. Being married, even though my husband and I can fight, has so many benefits.
  • itsjustdawn
    itsjustdawn Posts: 1,073 Member
    It's a very common question on dating sites... I've been asked many times.
  • Mrsallypants
    Mrsallypants Posts: 887 Member
    I'm married to the gym, babe. Srry
  • tigerlinly
    tigerlinly Posts: 219 Member
    never been asked that before never really dagted before let alone speed dated. my ex 2 montsh after we met he got me pregnant then it was we are getting married now or never (should of told him to take a hike) and my ex boyfriend was always wanting to kick me out of the apartment. other guys i start talkign to them and even though at the time i only had a slight weight problem they were looking for a trophy wife (never married, no kids, and super modiel thin) even in high school i couldnt get the guys to give me the time of day of course alot of that was they all thought i was like my big brother and a pratical joker (it wasnt til he graduated and i spent 2 years at the schol without him they realized i was the shy quiet person but by that time it was to late and they still wouldnt have anythign to do with me) now its thehell with all of them if they are that stuck on themselves or their mom, or looks, gay or already married (yes i had that happen before as well they start hitting on me only to find out they are already married) i dont need it. yes i want to be in a relationship but not that bad
  • kristarablue2
    kristarablue2 Posts: 386 Member
    Yes I have been asked numerous times but usually it is in the form of a complement ..lol..or I just choose to take it well:)

    But really I am single because I was fat and ugly for many years, raising my kids and getting a masters degree....now I am stuck, I still have a fat girl mentality so confidence about how I look is not as high but want a nice guy with a good education and they want hotter than i am...lol...see it is a losing proposition.
  • I am working healing myself. In the last two years my daughter's dad died, and even thou we had not been together for a couple years, it really hurt my heart. If the right guy or girl comes along, I am open to it,but I am happy alone with kids also.
  • TattooedNici
    TattooedNici Posts: 2,141 Member
    Sometimes, I tell people that it's none of their business when I feel they're prying into my private life. I'm single because I have more in this life to focus on than finding someone, getting hitched and starting a family. Sure, it's great to be in love, but I can't focus on that right now. My mind and heart are not in it.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    I'm thinking about this, and I'm not sure I'd like to be asked that question on a date, off the bat. Because anyone I'd want to spend a serious amount of time with would know that sometimes things don't work out, that grownups have histories, etc. They wouldn't attribute being single to some personal flaw, they'd know that we all go through stuff. & figuring out compatibility, etc, would come from just a normal conversation, at first.

    if my particular reasons & circumstances didn't arise out of an organic conversation (probably after a drink or two, and way after general life stuff got covered), I probably wouldn't want to get into it with him.
  • Going4Lean
    Going4Lean Posts: 1,078 Member
    Fear of rejection, so dont really try to talk to anyone.

    probably more fear, but i find it hard letting anyone in.
  • "Why am I single? Because I don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend!"

    Honestly, does it matter that much? Sure, you may want to know if your partner has had a history of cheating or similar events, but it's not really something you ask on a first date.

    Also, does being single make you any less of a person than you are? You are who you are, regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not.
  • I would be honest and say "my wife died".
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  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,230 Member
    Because being alone is better?

    I strongly disagree with that as a married person, though it may be true for you. I don't feel lonely anymore since I got married. I don't have to deal with that pain anymore and it was excruciating. My depression has decreased so much since I got married. I feel comfortable with myself and life. I am happy to be alive. I always have someone to talk to about the things that are important to me. I have someone to focus on me and love me. I have a wonderful son who brings so much joy to my life.

    I am not made to be single. Being married, even though my husband and I can fight, has so many benefits.

    This need for another is extremely puzzling. I do not experience loneliness and pain associated with loneliness. I am truly a born loner. I feel relaxed, at ease, peaceful, happy and in my zone when I am alone. Other people freak me out. So, being single is perfect. I'm not a relationship person. It would really take an extremely special person to break my bubble. It is definitely possible and I am always open to the idea, but it would take a truly amazing woman.

    That's exactly how I felt for many years before meeting my husband. I was truly, honestly 100% happy being single and content with the fact that was how it was likely to be for the rest of my life. Which is why it now blows my mind how attached I am to another human being, lol! But yeah, I was never lonely when I was single, or looking for someone.
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
    Any time I am asked that, my response is always the same. Because women aren't interested in me. I am only asked on mfp anyway.
  • ajlandon
    ajlandon Posts: 115 Member
    Easy-I have to leave town a lot for work, and until recently, moved frequently. No point in putting effort into a relationship I will just have to terminate a few months down the line. Now that I do not move so often, I still leave for 10 or more days at a time, usually to places with no phone/Internet/electricity, sometimes with very short notice. I haven't had time to go meet people I don't work with, yet, and if I do date, the person will have to be cool with me disappearing a lot.
  • VictoriousLion
    VictoriousLion Posts: 140 Member
    I am single, because I don't exude confidence. That is down to how I feel about myself and it shows. I'm happy with being single, anyway. I'm working on myself, right now... I joined MFP help me lose weight and gain some healthy confidence.